


Listen to the Music

by UnfortunatelyObsessed



Series: A Little Bit More [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Beekeeper Castiel, Castiel and Charlie are best buddies and no one can tell me otherwise, Dean is high in at least one chapter, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Gen, I want to tag recreational drug use, Let's not kid ourselves, M/M, Music as a Weapon, Neighbors AU, OMG HOW DID I FORGET, and think I mean meth, aroace Castiel, bi panic, but then you'll get to the part about the meth lab, debriel, enemies but they're friends, everyone is proud and out just somehow not to each other, i do not, it's a lot of crack and fluff, look it's just a super funny fic, lots of flirting, quarantine fic, rom com, shameless banter, she's dancing like a stripper, somebody come get her, these tags aren't helping my case, they had one brain cell and they killed it, they play cards against humanity which is always fun, they're dumb as fuck, why am I so into enemies jfc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 94,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelyObsessed/pseuds/UnfortunatelyObsessed
Summary: “CAS! You can’t just flirt with him!” Gabe yelled, exasperated.“Oh!” Cas responded. “No, no. I was saying I didn’t care if he put his hands onyou.”He turned back to Dean. “Do feel free.”Dean, for his part, recovered remarkably well, with the pink staining his cheeks the only sign he had been flustered at all. “Maybe after he comes over and strangles me. Could be romantic.”“CoUld bE rOmAntIcfuck you Winchester.” Gabriel flipped Dean off, lips pursed tightly.
Relationships: Charlie Bradbury & Castiel, Gabriel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Series: A Little Bit More [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909378
Comments: 797
Kudos: 143
Collections: Demon Void Army - Family Album





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Petrichora_Vellichor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petrichora_Vellichor/gifts), [aloha_cowgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloha_cowgirl/gifts), [FeaRauko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeaRauko/gifts), [avengercastiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengercastiel/gifts).



> I wanted to write something cracky and light, so here it is. Updated weekly (or more, depending on how hard the plot bunnies nibble)

Castiel looked up from his gardening, squinting at the sun. He wiped his gloved hand across his head, only succeeding in plastering mud on his forehead like some sort of Lion King reference. He scowled and pulled his glove off, fishing around his pocket for his phone. “Hello?” he finally said, smushing it between his cheek and shoulder.

“Cassie!”

A fond smile graced his lips. “Hello, Charlie.”

“It’s good to hear your voice. Or any voice, for that matter.”

He set back to digging a hole with a trowel. “Let me guess: you started coding something and couldn’t look up for three weeks.”

Charlie laughed on the line. “You got me, feathers.”

“Oh, give that nickname a rest. Crows are just friendly creatures.”

“You’re one of them. Anyway, you’re the only other loner I could think of. Have you seen anybody in two weeks?”

“Ah.” Castiel sat back on his heels. “I see. No, I’ve been at home for a month or so now, working on filling orders.”

“That’s GREAT, because I haven’t been outside either! Would you like to come over and quarantine with me?”

Cas laughed softly. “As it were, I have a garden to tend to here. But you’re welcome to come and stay with me. It would be nice to have some company that isn’t virtual.”

“Do you have internet?”

“Alas, I only take orders via carrier pigeon. Internet was never a requirement.”

“Alright Mr. Smartass, I’ll be over tonight. Gonna pack all my stuff up.”

“Perhaps we can keep each other from becoming too absorbed in our work.”

“Hope so. See you in a few hours?”

“Of course. Drive safe.”

“No one’s on the roads, Cas.”

“The sentiment still stands. See you, Charles.”

Cas hung up and immediately groaned at the muddy thumbprint left on his screen.

—

When Charlie showed up at his house, he was immediately caught in a bone-crushing hug.

“FEATHERS!” she squealed, squeezing him tightly.

“Charles,” he responded, laughing and attempting to hug her back. “How are you?”

“Good I think, all things considered.” She released him, looking around. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about the orders. I’ve never seen that many shipping boxes.”

He shrugged. “Business has been good lately. I suppose people really want honey right now.”

“Weird, but awesome.” She kicked her bag against the wall, out of the walkway. “I brought some booze, if you wanna sit on your back porch and talk like the old days.”

“You mean like last winter?” Cas grinned, shaking his head. “I’d love to. Fair warning, though, it might be loud out there.”

Charlie gave him a weird look. “What, did you adopt some geese or something?”

He simply motioned for her to follow him, sliding open the door to the fenced-in backyard, with its old garden and newly-planted additions.

She raised her eyebrows, staring at the house to the left. “Dude.”

“I know. It’s kind of nice, honestly. Usually for about ten minutes or so, then he’ll go back inside.”

There was classic rock music playing loudly from the house beside his, with a guy in swim trunks and sunglasses holding up the boombox for the whole neighborhood.

Charlie listened to “Sweet Child O’ Mine” for a minute before nodding. “People bond in weird ways when shit goes down, I guess. What’s his name?”

“Dean. I’ve told you about him.”

She snorted, recognizing the name. “Ah, Mr. Tall Dark and Thinks-He’s-Handsome.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Yes.”

Charlie regarded Castiel carefully. “And… do we think he’s handsome?”

He grinned. “You get the alcohol, I’ll set up the chairs, and I’ll uh, ‘spill the tea’, as you say.”

She pointed finger-guns at him. “Now you’re speaking my language, baby!”

By the time Charlie got the whiskey and the glasses, Dean had finished up for the night with a rousing “You Give Love A Bad Name”.

She poured them both generous glasses, sitting in the lawn chair. “Okay. Spill.”

Cas motioned between the two of them. _“We_ do not think he’s handsome. However…” he pointed to his other neighbor’s house, the one on the right, _“he_ is enthralled.”

Charlie gasped. “No.”

“Oh, yes.” Cas sipped his whiskey, smile tugging at his lips. “And you know, what Gabriel wants, Gabriel gets.”

“You think Gabriel is gonna break in during quarantine so they have to stay together?”

Cas snorted. “I wouldn’t put it past him, honestly. He’s been um, _charming_ since we were little. It’s only a matter of time.”

“And you’re stuck right in the middle of it, huh?” She squinted towards Dean’s house, like she could peer into the windows. “Is Dean even into guys?”

“He has a wild reputation as a lady’s man.”

“So, yes.”

“Oh, absolutely.”

Charlie downed her whiskey in one go, pouring another. “And is Dean into Gabriel?”

He shrugged. “I think he’s considered it, if the looks they give each other across my garden when the other isn’t looking are anything to go by.”

She studied him, grinning wide. “You’re holding out on me, feathers.”

“Hm?” Cas said innocently. “Oh, the rest of the tea, of course.” He cleared his throat and pointed to Gabriel’s house. “He can’t stand the music, and promised me earlier that he was going to ‘do something about it’.”

Charlie looked between the two houses. “Uh, did he do anything then?”

“I have no idea.” He turned to her, finishing his glass and pouring another. “Tell me about your life.”

She huffed, staring out into the growing twilight. “Oof. Not a lot has happened, if I’m honest. I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get out more, and now I can’t, so it’s like—“ she shrugged. “But I’m working for a software company now, so that’s good. I can make like, _legal_ money.”

Castiel’s eyes sparkled. “Legal money is good.”

“Yeah, but boring, too. So I’ve been working on an AI that scrubs websites for raw data and—“ Her head snapped to the right. “Is… Is that _polka?”_

Castiel craned his neck to see. “Ah, that would be my brother, ‘doing something’.”

Gabriel waved enthusiastically to the two of them, holding a small bluetooth speaker over his head, yet somehow blasting louder than Dean had. He was wearing what was _definitely_ a shirt handmade for the occasion that read _Two Can Play At This Game._

Dean ran out into his own backyard, staring wide-eyed across the swath of land that separated them. “Dude, _WHAT THE FUCK?!”_

Gabriel turned it up louder, pointing to his t-shirt.

Dean spread his arms wide, frustrated.

Gabriel leaned down to grab a megaphone. “STOP WITH THE FUCKING MUSIC. SOME OF US HAVE ZOOM MEETINGS, ASSHOLE,” he megaphoned across the fence.

Dean’s eyes narrowed.

Charlie leaned over to whisper-yell to Castiel, “That didn’t look like he was gonna stop.”

Cas responded, “Oh, of course not. They’re both ridiculously stubborn.”

Dean beat his chest once, holding his arms out again threateningly. “YOU WANNA GO, PRETTY BOY? LET’S FUCKING GO!”

Charlie took a sip of whiskey. “Oh, definitely into guys.”

Gabriel raised one unimpressed eyebrow, polka swelling across the neighborhood. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, BUT YOU LOOK LIKE A GORILLA WHO JUST LOST HIS FAVORITE BANANA,” Gabe megaphoned.

Castiel winced. “Oh, going straight for the creative insults. Gabriel must be really attracted to him.”

Dean’s entire demeanor darkened. “Cas!” he yelled, turning to look at them. “Permission to pass through your garden to destroy your brother? And hello, new person.”

Charlie waved once as Cas shook his head. “I have to keep a quarantined environment for my honey business. I do apologize. I would love to see Gabriel chased around.”

Dean glared across the way. “Understandable,” he told Castiel without looking at him. “I’ll find my Nerf gun.”

Cas took a nonchalant sip of his whiskey. “The modded one that shoots hard enough to crack the wall plaster?”

“Yes.” Dean was back inside his house before either of them could say anything else.

Gabriel nodded once to himself and turned off his polka music, heading back into his house. He closed the door just as Dean came running out, bright orange gun aimed.

“Dammit,” Dean grumbled, throwing it down onto the grass. “Next time.” He turned his gaze back to the two of them, drinking whiskey and lounging. “Hey, Cas. Does my music bother you?”

Cas shook his head. “Absolutely not. I actually look forward to it every night.”

Charlie held up her hand. “I liked it, too.”

“Thank you—“ Dean looked at Charlie a moment, panicked, “— uh, citizen!”

She snorted. “It’s Charlie.”

“Charlie. Thank you.” He huffed. “So Gabriel is just being an asshole.”

Cas raised his drink. “Cheers.”

“How did you manage growing up with… _that?”_

Castiel shook his head, smiling softly. “Oh, he’s not as terrible as he pretends to be. He was an excellent brother, actually. I think he thought he was more my father than our father was.” Cas gave Dean a pointed look.

Dean grumbled. “Don’t give me that look, Cas. I’m not gonna feel companionship with a psychopath.”

Charlie propped her head on her hand. “So what’s your game plan, Dean-o?”

“Game plan?”

“Yeah. You _are_ gonna get back at him, right?”

“Right. …Right! Cas, what kind of music does he hate?”

“Um, Italian pop, I think?”

Dean nodded decisively. “It’s settled then. Thank you, Cas, Charlie!”

They waved at him as he disappeared into his house.

“We’re horrible people, aren’t we, Cas?” Charlie asked, still waving.

“Yes. We are.” He held out his glass, and she clinked hers against it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updating early bc why not

Charlie looked up from her laptop. “You’re up late.”

“Up early,” Cas grunted back, headed directly for the coffee maker. “You’re up early.”

She grinned at him. “Up late.”

He tapped his chin thoughtfully, pouring himself a cup of the coffee Charlie had made an hour ago. “So if you’re nocturnal, what does that make me?”

Charlie leaned her head back against the couch. “Clinically insane.”

He took a long sip of coffee, breathing the heat out through his nose. “Maybe. I’ll go get tested once the clinics open back up.”

“What, next century?” she snorted.

“If I’m going to the clinic next century, I will likely already be clinically insane.”

She closed her laptop thoughtfully. “So you definitely would never go for immortality then, huh?”

Cas huffed. “Oh, God no. Imagine how boring that would be, how just… _tedious.”_

Charlie grinned at him. “You know, normal people say something about not wanting to outlive their loved ones.”

He waved his mug absently. “Yes yes, that, too.” He side-eyed her. “Why? Would _you_ want to be immortal?”

“Of course! I want to see all the cool stuff humans come up with! Like, imagine cloning. Or time travel. Or—“

They both stopped talking, turning to look at the curtained windows.

“Was that—“

Castiel pulled a curtain back, squinting at the budding sunlight. “Dean. With his boombox. Playing Italian pop. At five in the morning.” He turned around and pointed at her. “You’re responsible for this.”

 _“We_ are responsible for this, comrade.”

Cas hung his head and chuckled before rolling his eyes fondly. “Would you care to accompany me outside to watch this all play out?”

“Considering that Dr. Sexy MD had to pause in filming this season and I therefore am drama-less, yes.”

—

Dean was sitting on his back porch with his Nerf gun ready in one hand, mimosa in the other. Sunglasses perched on his nose, he looked for all the world like he was recovering from a bad hangover.

Only, there was Italian pop louder than an air raid blasting from beside him.

Castiel waved largely at him and Dean saluted back with his drink. Dean watched as Castiel mouthed something, but he had always been horrible at reading lips, so he shrugged.

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and retreated into his house, only to return with a marker and a pad of paper.

Dean shoved his sunglasses on top of his head, squinting to read what Castiel was now holding up.

_MUST THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD BE INVOLVED IN THIS FEUD?_

Dean nodded his head yes.

Castiel said something to the girl with him — _Charlie,_ Dean remembered — and wrote something else, holding it high above his head.

_IF GABRIEL AWAKENS, WILL YOU TURN OFF THE MUSIC?_

Dean nodded again.

Without hesitation, Castiel picked up a rock and hurled it at Gabriel’s windows.

From what Dean could see, Charlie was laughing so hard she fell over, and Castiel had his arms crossed proudly.

Within moments, Gabriel stormed out of his house. His CandyLand pajama pants contrasted sharply with his pink shirt and red face. He yelled something Dean couldn’t and didn’t want to hear.

Castiel pointed at Dean, eyebrows raised, and Dean finally conceded and turned off the music.

“Thank you,” Castiel said, sitting down in his lawn chair beside Charlie.

Dean gave Gabriel a large grin, sliding his sunglasses back down over his eyes. “Heya, Shurley! Nice to see you up before noon!”

 _“I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR_ **_SLEEP,_ ** _WINCHESTER!”_

Dean raised his mimosa mockingly. “Since you didn’t like my previous music, I decided to change genres. Was that any better?”

Gabriel cursed in some language Dean didn’t recognize and charged at the fence separating him and Cas, grabbing the top and placing a foot against the boards.

“HEY!” Castiel yelled sharply, causing Gabe to freeze. “My property is _Switzerland,_ got it? There will be _no_ crossing into my territory to get to your enemies!”

“Cassie,” Gabriel gritted out. “This man is a _nuisance_ who needs to be taught a _lesson!”_

“If you step foot onto my lawn, my entire business goes under. I will call you every single night and cry, I swear it.”

Gabe groaned in frustration and let go of the fence, pacing along its length. “Winchester, the _moment_ this virus thing is over, I’m breaking into your house and strangling you.”

Dean took a long sip of his mimosa. “Sexy,” he called out across Castiel’s garden. “Is that gonna be before or after you ‘teach me a lesson’?”

“After!” Gabe paused. “Wait, before. Wait — fuck you!” he sputtered.

“Before you fuck me?”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, closed it, pointed at Dean, growled in annoyance, and turned around and marched back into his own house.

“Boooo,” Dean called out, aiming and shooting a single Nerf dart at Gabe’s house. “Come back out here and fight me like a man!” He waited a moment then sighed, taking another drink. “Hey, Cas, Charles. You guys want some mimosas? I’ll trade them for some honey.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow at Charlie, who shrugged. “Add in two burgers and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Cas called back.

—

Charlie was passed out on the couch (or maybe just sleeping, if her sleep schedule was anything to go by) as Castiel pruned his garden, pulling weeds one by one. He was a very gentle gardener, though he supposed he’d never actually seen a violent one.

Gabriel leaned against the fence separating their houses, his cheek smushed against his own arms. “He’s an asshole,” Gabriel announced.

“Oh, is he?” Cas responded, not actually paying much attention.

“Who plays _any_ music at five in the morning, _let alone_ Italian pop!”

Cas shrugged vaguely, checking under large leaves to see if any vegetables were ready for harvest.

“I’m gonna kill him, Cassie. I’m gonna murder him.”

“No you won’t,” Cas murmured, reaching back under the plants.

“The hell I won’t! Why wouldn’t I?”

Castiel pulled out a fresh eggplant and tossed it to Gabriel. “Because you’re not into necrophilia,” he deadpanned.

Gabriel’s face went fifty different shades of red in under two seconds. A new record, Cas was sure. “What—“ Gabe spluttered, trying to find a good response. “What makes you so sure I’m _not_ into necrophilia?!” (Good responses tended to elude Gabriel.)

“What the actual fuck.”

Gabe’s head snapped up to see the damned Dean Winchester pushed against the other fence, face bewildered.

Cas hid his laugh as Gabriel threw his arms out. “I’m not! You came out at a bad time! Also: get lost, douchebag!”

“So you wouldn’t fuck a zombie?” Dean asked, straight faced.

“Wh—what?”

Cas looked up to Gabriel, eyes sparkling in amusement. “Answer the question.”

Gabriel groaned and hid his face in his hands.

“Don’t touch your face, dumbass,” Dean snapped.

“Why are you even _out_ here, he is _my_ brother,” Gabriel said, exasperated.

Dean jumped a bit. “Oh, yeah! Cas, catch.” He threw Cas a paper bag and two bottles, and Cas threw back a jar of honey from his apron.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Dean,” Castiel responded amiably.

Gabriel gasped like he’d been mortally wounded. “CASTIEL!” he said, disbelieving. “Are you _fraternizing_ with the _enemy?!”_

Cas raised one eyebrow, unable to resist. “Why? Did you call dibs?”

Dean snorted somewhere to his left.

Gabriel glared at the two of them. “I see. I see how it is. You’ve sided with this… this rebel-rouser!”

Castiel sighed, leaning back on his palms. “I’ve sided with no one, Gabriel.”

“He plays _Italian pop_ at five in the fucking morning! How can you not be against him?!”

Cas shrugged one shoulder, then the other. “The burgers certainly don’t hurt.”

Dean laughed. “Cas buddy, remind me to give you a high five when this is all over.”

“Hey!” Gabriel snapped. “Hands off the brother!”

Castiel looked to Dean with wide, innocent eyes. “For the record, I do not share that sentiment.”

Dean choked on air, and Gabriel made an indiscernible noise.

“CAS! You can’t just flirt with him!” Gabe yelled, exasperated.

“Oh!” Cas responded. “No, no. I was saying I didn’t care if he put his hands on _you.”_ He turned back to Dean. “Do feel free.”

Dean, for his part, recovered remarkably well, with the pink staining his cheeks the only sign he had been flustered at all. “Maybe after he comes over and strangles me. Could be romantic.”

 _“CoUld bE rOmAntIc_ fuck you Winchester.” Gabriel flipped Dean off, lips pursed tightly.

Castiel pulled another weed, looking at its leaves thoughtfully. “This has been the most civil conversation you two have had in a while. Good job.”

“We can be civil,” Dean countered. “Or at least, I can.” He looked at Gabe, leaning against his own fence. “How is working from home going?”

“It’s going awfully. Every Zoom meeting I have, they make me turn off my mic and type in the chat.”

“Oh, is your voice that grating?”

“I think it’s more about the loud music.”

Dean bounced his eyebrows, grinning. “They have no taste.”

“What about you? How is—“ Gabe squinted. “Winchester what do you even _do_ with your life?”

“Run a meth lab.”

Gabriel snorted. “No you don’t.”

Castiel looked up at Gabriel from where he was spreading compost. “Dean isn’t lying.”

Gabe scowled. “We all live in cookie cutter houses so I _know_ there is no basement over there. You don’t have a _place_ for a meth lab.”

“Who said it was here?” Dean shrugged nonchalantly, holding out a hand to catch the carrot Castiel had just tossed at him. “What do _you_ do?”

“Well if we’re all lying then I oversee the production of board games.”

Dean rubbed the carrot off on his shirt before taking a thoughtful bite. “I wasn’t lying. I do run a meth lab. Maybe we could team up and make a meth lab board game. Like, monopoly, but with drugs.” He snapped his fingers. “Three grams of cocaine for the railroads!”

Gabriel buried his face in his hands. “You _do not_ run a meth lab! And I don’t make board games!”

“Wow, I can’t believe you’d lie to me like that, Shurley. Next we know, Cas will be lying about having a honey business.”

Cas’s lips twitched in amusement. “Legally, I sell glass jars that _come with_ honey.”

Gabe threw his hands up. “Am I the only one here with an actual _job?!”_

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Making board games?”

“Suck my actual dick, Winchester.”

“Hard to do from six feet away.”

“I’m an… interviewer. I interview people.”

“Well, that was absolutely convincing. No suspicions here.”

“I am!”

Dean put on a grin that made Gabriel a bit hot under the collar. “How about this then, Shurley. You hit me up on Zoom so you can get an interview, and I’ll tell you all about my meth lab. Deal?”

Gabe narrowed his eyes. “Deal.”

“And maybe we can circle back around to that ‘fucking zombies’ topic again.”

“Oh, screw you.” Gabriel pushed off the fence, heading back to his house.

“Come up with better insults!” Dean yelled after him. “You’re making this too easy for me!” He laughed as Gabe slammed his door shut.

Cas stood up, basket of veggies looped around one arm, bag of food in the other. “You’re too mean to him,” he teased.

“Hey, he earned it. He shouldn’t dish out what he can’t take.”

“Are you going to actually do the interview?”

Dean nodded. “Course I am. Tell Charlie I said hi, alright?”

“She’s nocturnal, but I’ll be sure to tell her next I see her awake. Tell your brother I said hi.”

Dean shrugged. “Sam’s still in Cali, but I’ll send your regards. I’m sure he’ll have lots of nerd info to pass back again so I’ll take notes this time.”

Cas blinded him with his smile. “Thank you, Dean.”

“Anytime.” Dean grabbed his jar of honey and walked back to his house, turning to look for just a few seconds at Gabriel’s.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna have an update schedule but time doesn't exist

Charlie yawned, rubbing her eyes a few times before sitting up on the super-plushy couch. There was a guest bedroom. Her stuff was _in_ the guest bedroom. Yet, consistently, she managed to fall asleep on the couch instead.

“Good morning, feathers,” she yawned, sniffing the air for any traces of coffee.

Cas swung a backpack onto his shoulders. “Good morning, Charles. You’re actually just in time. I’ve got to go check on my bees, so would you hold the fort down?”

Charlie looked around the living room. “Um, you mean, just stay inside?”

“And don’t let anyone in, of course. Mostly just watch the backyard and make sure that neither of our… _innovative_ neighbors decide to cross through it on their way to greener pastures.”

She gave a thumbs-up. “I’ve been working on a program to hijack their bluetooth signals. Want me to wait for you to test it out?”

Cas thought about it a moment, slipping on his shoes. “Umm, no. No. If there’s anything this quarantine has taught me, it’s that we must treasure every moment. Go ahead. Just make sure to memorize every detail so you may regale me with them later.”

“Aye-aye, captain!”

Cas hurried out the door and, within a minute, was driving off.

Charlie got up and meandered around the kitchen, trying to decide between coffee and alcohol. In the end, she poured some cream liqueur into her coffee, grabbed her laptop, and went outside.

The sun was just beginning to set as she unfolded the lawn chair and reclined, starting up her computer. She might could actually get some work done before the chaos started tonight.

“Charlie!”

Or not.

She looked to the left, waving. “Hey, Winchester,” she called out.

Dean laid down his boombox and jogged over to the fence. “What’s up? Where’s Cas?”

“Working, and he went to check on his bees.” She gestured to his yard. “You about to play some music?”

He looked back, as if he had already forgotten why he ever left his house. “Uh, yeah! Got a few songs queued up.”

“More classic rock, or are we doing Italian pop again?”

Dean shimmied his shoulders playfully. “What? You didn’t like Pop Pop Americano?”

“One, that’s not what it’s called, and two… I didn’t say that.” She took another sip of her coffee. “But I do like jamming to Bon Jovi.”

“Well, lucky for _you,_ then, I’ve got some on this playlist.” He examined her a moment, head tilted. “So, you and Cas?”

“Yeah, I’m staying here for the quarantine, since neither of us get out much.”

Dean hummed thoughtfully. “Ya know, he never really struck me as the relationship type. Guess I was wrong.”

Charlie choked on her drink. “No! Oh, fuck, no, no. We’re not— I’m not—“

Dean, for his part, looked extremely apologetic. “Oh! I didn’t mean to assume! It was just… ya know… a pretty girl staying with a pretty guy—“

“I’m gay.” She clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Me, too,” Dean blurted out.

They stared at each other in bewilderment a moment before Charlie began to laugh, and Dean shortly followed.

He draped his arms across the fence, laying his chin on them. “I’m bi, actually. Cool to see another rainbow face around here.”

“Lesbian. And, really? Gabriel _definitely_ has that vibe to him.”

“Yeah?” he said softly, looking across the yard before suddenly scowling and shaking his head. “Gabriel is an asshole, so it doesn’t matter. Hence the music.”

Charlie snorted. “I think you both are just itching for something to do, and ‘annoy each other’ just happened to show up on the list.”

“Eh. Maybe. I’m trying not to look into it.”

Charlie glanced over at Gabriel’s house. “You into him?”

“Absolutely not.”

“So, yes.”

Dean pushed himself off the fence, walking backwards to his speaker. “I’m not listening to you. This conversation is over, and we’re not talking anymore.”

“I request a love song!” Charlie yelled out, hands cupped around her mouth.

Dean lifted the boombox into the air with one hand, the other swiping through his phone for the songs.

“LOVE SONG! LOVE SONG!”

“Oh, we requesting songs now?” Gabriel asked, stumbling out of his house, looking like he just woke up.

Dean paused for a moment, an evil glint entering his eyes. “Yeah, man. Picked this one out just for you.”

Charlie jumped back onto her laptop, typing furiously as Dean thumbed through until he found the song he was looking for.

She poised her finger over the enter key as Dean winked at Gabriel and said, “This one’s for you, babe.”

Steady strumming guitar.

Dean looked up at his speaker, eyebrows furrowed. “Wait—“

**_I love myself, I want you to love me_ **

His eyes widened in horror. “WAIT THIS ISN’T THE SONG I—“

**_When I feel down, I want you above me_ **

He dropped the speaker, frantically trying to re-unlock his phone.

**_I search myself, I want you to find me_ **

Gabriel watched him in confusion. “I’m not sure I know this song, Winchester.”

**_I forget myself, I want you to remind me_ **

“IGNORE THIS!” Dean yelled over the music, pressing song after song that didn’t work.

**_I don’t want anybody else_ **

Dean held down the power button on the speaker. “C’mon, c’mon—“

**_When I think about you,_ **

Gabe’s eyes widened.

**_I TOUCH MYSELF._ **

The speaker died as Dean stared woefully at it.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “You touch yourself, huh?”

Dean spun around faster than he had ever moved before in his life, lips curled into a snarl. “That wasn’t the song, jackass!”

“I watched you pick it!”

“I must’ve hit shuffle or something!”

Gabriel smirked, finally seeing an opportunity to get Dean back. “I mean, that’s what I’d say, too. But, you know, you don’t have to be ashamed. I mean, have you _seen_ this body? Irresistible.”

Dean’s face was red, his jaw clenched. “You know what, Shurley? Go fuck yourself.”

Gabe pouted. “I’m sleepy. Think you could do it for me?”

Dean scowled and marched back inside, leaving his speaker sitting in the grass.

Gabriel watched him go, eyes shamelessly on Dean’s ass. “I actually won a round,” Gabriel said, surprised.

Charlie raised her drink to him. “Congrats, Shurley.”

His eyes slid to her. “You had something to do with this, didn’t you?”

She shrugged, taking a big gulp of coffee.

“Well, thanks, then. He’s hard to win against. I always get distracted.”

“Why? You into him?”

Gabriel looked at her like she just proposed a plan to nuke the moon. “Emotionally? Absolutely not. Physically? I mean, you _saw_ that ass, right? You could bounce a _half-dollar_ off it!”

She snorted. “Flaunt yourself then.”

“Come again?”

“Ya know. Be shirtless. Grind your hips, whatever guys do. Make him want you.”

He squinted at her. “Uh, why?”

“It entertains me,” she deadpanned. “And it would catch him super off-guard.”

He examined her suspiciously before looking over to Dean’s house. “But I can’t be close enough to do that.”

“You only have to be six feet away, dude. If he’s inside, you have full reign of his lawn. And he can’t come outside to kick you off.”

He pursed his lips a moment before nodding to himself. “Okay. But I’m only trusting you because you helped me today.” He looked at her down his nose. “Are you sleeping with my brother?”

“Absolutely not.”

He nodded. “Good. He’s not into that kind of stuff.” Gabe paused again a moment. “You dating him?”

“Nope.”

“You want to?”

“Nope.”

“Good… He’s not into that kind of stuff, either,” Gabe said before giving her an approving gaze and going back inside.

Charlie went back to her work, typing code for hours before she finally sat back and sighed.

“Huh,” she mumbled to herself, looking left. Dean was talking on the phone in a window, some sort of landline. Who still had _landlines?_

“I can hack that,” she said mostly to herself, and then proceeded to go online and find the right supplies.

Yeah, legal money wasn’t _near_ as much fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello fellow timeless beings. which of us is the Doctor?

Castiel was sitting cross-legged on the couch with Charlie, laughing hysterically. “There is no way!” he giggled.

“Yes way! It worked on the first try and Dean’s face was as red as your tomatoes!”

“Oh gosh,” he wheezed, wiping tears from his eyes. “Anything else?”

Charlie leaned back against the pillows. “Yeah. They’re both sweet on you in the cutest way. They grilled me to make sure I wasn’t trying to date or seduce you.”

Cas shook his head and laughed softly. “They mean well.”

“I told Dean I was lesbian, didn’t get to tell Gabriel. Though I did learn Gabe is _absolutely_ attracted to Dean. And I’d be willing to place a bet on Dean being attracted to him, too.”

“Of course. They’re about as subtle as a stampede.” Cas huffed, then sighed. “I should really come out to them sometime. I’ve been meaning to, it just… never seems like a good time.”

Charlie gave him a soft smile. “If it’s any consolation, I think they already know, just maybe not the terminology.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Dean told me you weren’t into relationships, and Gabe told me you weren’t into sex, either. So.” She shrugged. “Between the two of them, they just might actually have _two_ brain cells. And they’re both set to protecting you.”

He smiled to himself. “They’re good people.” He looked up, eyebrows furrowing. “What the hell?”

Charlie followed his gaze, turning around to see Gabriel marching across the street in front of Castiel’s house, sign in one hand, weed-eater in another, and determination on his face.

“You did this, didn’t you,” Cas deadpanned.

“Unfortunately, I think I might have.”

“I take back what I said about him being any semblance of good.”

“I’ll grab the chairs. Meet you on the front lawn.”

—

Dean was sipping coffee, looking out his front windows. It was a sunny day, warm if the slightly higher temperature inside his house was anything to go by. He had a few work emails open on his laptop, but he’d get to those later. Things had slowed down a lot in the past month or so, and he could afford to be a little lazy.

He was admiring the pink clouds in the sky when a figure caught his attention.

Gabriel was standing at his front window, holding up a big sign that read, _I’M GONNA WEED-EAT YOUR LAWN AS A TRUCE._

Dean stood in front of his window, one eyebrow raised.

“Is that okay?” Gabriel yelled through the glass, muffled.

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded, taking another drink of coffee.

Gabriel gave him the biggest grin he’d ever seen and threw the sign to the side, promptly stripping off his shirt, shoes, socks, and pants.

Gabe had on blue boxer-briefs. That’s it. Full stop.

Dean couldn’t really remember gasping but he was coughing harshly now so he must have. He took in a wheezing breath and looked back up to see what could only be called an _evil_ look on Gabriel’s face.

Gabe grabbed the weed-eater and turned around, winking at Dean over his shoulder, and got to work.

Coffee dribbled out of Dean’s mouth.

Dean could’ve done a lot of things. He could have left the window. He could have answered some emails. He could have screamed at God himself.

But Dean, of course, did none of those things.

He stood there as his coffee got cold, red-faced, and watched.

Gabriel _knew_ it, too.

Weed-eating wasn’t sexy, dammit! It was sweaty, gross work that somehow now involved a few more suggestive poses and a lot more ass than it ever had before.

Every so often Gabriel would glance back his way, with some sort of sexy smirk on his face, as if to make sure Dean was still watching.

Well, hell, Gabe could stop looking anytime he wanted because Dean was _not_ leaving that spot anytime soon.

Gabriel met his eyes through the window and winked, and Dean took a big gulp of coffee to have _literally_ anything else to focus on. It was cold. Of course it was.

He felt like he was having a damn bi panic all over again.

Gabe sauntered — yep, sauntered, there wasn’t another word that fit and that one had been going through Dean’s head for about an hour now — over to the window and slowly dragged the machine across the edge where house met lawn.

He was _really_ damn close. When was the last time Dean had stood this close to anybody, even with a window between them?

Gabriel looked up again, switching the machine off. He held his arms up as if to stretch, but it was more to show off than anything. He dropped his hands into his own hair and stared at Dean from hooded eyes, biting his bottom lip. “Have anything for me to drink?” he teased loud enough to be heard through the window.

Dean held up one finger and disappeared out of Gabriel’s sight.

Gabe frowned, looking around in confusion. Winchester wasn’t _actually_ dumb enough to bring him a drink, was he?

Without preamble, Gabriel was hit in the side with a blast of freezing cold water.

He yelped, falling over and holding up his hands.

“GO ON! GET!” Dean yelled, standing ten feet away holding a water hose.

“HEY!” Gabe yelled back, rolling out of the water’s way and standing up. “I DID YOU A FAVOR!”

“FAVOR MY ASS!” He sprayed Gabriel again. “GET OFF MY LAWN, SINNER!”

He chased Gabriel with the hose until Gabe was off his property and back onto the road, halfway past Castiel’s house, where Cas and Charlie were sitting outside and watching everything unfold.

Gabe stopped and turned around, yelling, “GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES!”

“THEY’RE ON _MY_ PROPERTY! THEY’RE _MINE_ NOW!”

Gabriel made as if to run back over for them, but Dean stood over the pile of clothes with the water hose in one hand, glaring.

“FINE!” Gabe yelled, turning back around in a huff.

Only Charlie and Cas saw the grin on his face.

Gabriel had won this round.

—

Cas rubbed his eyes, leaning back to look at the sky again. “I don’t think I ever needed to see that much of my brother.”

“Same,” Charlie said through a mouthful of ice cream. “Worth it, though.”

“Oh, definitely.” Cas put a hand over his eyes to shield them and looked back to Dean’s house. “What do you think he’s going to do with the clothes?”

She thought about it. “You want the PG version or the NC-17 version?”

Cas grinned. “PG.”

She grinned back at him. “He’s just gonna wear them to tease Gabriel, then.”

Cas nodded, leaning back, before sighing. “And what was the NC-17 version?”

She laughed. “He’s still gonna wear them. Just at a specific time.”

He snorted, throwing an empty cup at her. _“Gross.”_

“You asked!”

“You have no proof!”

“Ah, I don’t. But speaking of recording people,” she jerked her thumb over to Dean’s house, “I ordered some stuff so we can tap his landline.”

Cas’s jaw dropped. “Charlie! Isn’t that highly illegal?”

“Uh, technically yes. But also, consider: Gabriel might call him.”

“You make a good point. It feels really skeevy though, doesn’t it?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, kinda. I could always just have it ping us if Gabriel _does_ call, instead of, ya know, anybody else.”

Cas hummed in thought. “Remind me why we’re doing this?”

“Dr. Sexy is on hiatus.”

“Ah, yes. That’s right.”

She shouldered him. “And like, c’mon, don’t tell me Gabriel never creeped on your private stuff. Now we can get back at him!”

Cas glared, even as a smile twitched at his lips. “Fine, but if you get caught I will deny all knowledge of this.”

“Oh, ye of little faith,” she grinned at him, “I won’t get caught.”

—

Castiel watched Gabriel climb onto his own roof. “Um. Gabriel?” he called out.

Gabe looked down in confusion before smiling widely and waving. “Heya, Cassie! How’s the weather down there?”

“What are you doing?”

“Testing something.”

Gabriel took his shirt and pants off, laying down as if to sunbathe.

Cas raised an eyebrow. “What are you testing?”

“You’ll see.”

Cas huffed and looked around for any change, eyes landing on Dean’s house, where half of a face was visible peeking out from behind a curtain.

“He’s looking, right?” Gabriel called down.

“Ah, yes, he is. Was that the plan?”

“Oh, Cassie. I have him wrapped around my finger now.”

“It looks like he’s getting his Nerf gun.”

Gabe sat up quickly, panic on his face. “No that’s not right!”

Cas watched Dean stalk towards his back door. “No yeah that’s definitely the Nerf gun.”

Gabriel clambered off the roof as fast as he could, swinging himself into an open window before Dean made it outside.

Cas waved amicably at Dean. “You just missed him.”

“Do me a favor and kill your brother next time you see him,” Dean grumbled, crossing his arms petulantly.

“I’m not going to assassinate every one of your crushes, Dean,” Castiel said casually.

“I don’t have a crush on him!”

Cas gave him a Look.

“I hate him. Obviously. I’ve got a weapon trained on his house!”

“Yes, while he is conveniently sunbathing.” Cas held his hands up in mock surrender. “It’s none of my business, though. I’m just caught in the crossfire.”

Dean chose to ignore everything Castiel said. “I’ve got some brownies in the oven anyway. Can’t be wasting my time on this shit.”

“Mmm. Care to trade a few?”

Dean pulled at his shirt awkwardly. “Ahhh, well, see, they’re kind of a family recipe and—“

“You made pot brownies.”

“…Yes. I did.”

“Be careful if you’ve never had them before. They’re stronger than they taste.”

“Okay, Mom,” Dean snarked, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be fine. Just do me a favor and kick Gabriel’s ass next time you see him.”

“I won’t, but enjoy yourself.”

Dean stuck his tongue out. “You’re no fun.”

“Come back after you’ve had dessert. Let’s talk then.”

“Hmph. See ya then, Cas,” Dean promised, retreating inside.

Charlie looked up from her laptop. “He’s so gonna overdo it.”

Cas grinned back at her. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not sure if it's currently 8am or midnight but either way enjoy

Charlie woke up cranky.

“What the fuck is that noise?” she grumbled, pulling a pillow over her head.

“Ah, you’re awake,” Cas said, sipping his tea. “Look outside.”

Charlie got up slowly and pulled back a curtain, blinking heavily. “Why is Dean standing on his car.”

“Remember the brownies?”

“Oh?” She stared a moment before it hit her. “Ohhhhhh. He’s… He’s fucking stoned.”

“Keep looking,” Cas whispered, standing beside her.

She blinked the sleep out of her eyes and squinted. “Oh my god.”

“Yep.”

“He’s—“

“Yep.”

“Has Gabriel—“

“Nope.”

“He’s gonna freak.”

—

Gabriel finished editing some audio files on his computer, pushing back to stretch his limbs, back popping. It was peaceful and quiet, for the first time since, oh, about three weeks ago.

Then that damn Winchester kid decided to start playing music _loudly_ somehow at the exact same times that Gabriel had Zoom meetings with interviewees.

He tried to put up with it. He really did. But interviews conducted via chat features didn’t exactly _work_ for his line of business. So he had marched outside and given Winchester a piece of his mind.

And, yeah, maybe he could have handled that better but he was nothing if not a dramatic asshole.

And speaking of dramatic assholes…

“It’s quiet,” Gabe mumbled to himself, glancing at his clock. Damn kid should be blasting Led Zeppelin by now. There was no way his shirtless escapade had _actually_ made Dean stop… right?

Gabe snorted. “Poor kid’s probably having a gay panic,” he said aloud, mostly to amuse himself. “Or a straight freak-out.”

He pushed with his feet, rolling his chair back to his window and glancing across the neighborhood. Cassie’s garden was coming along nice. The therapist puppet guy whose name Gabe could never remember was standing in his front lawn across the street, hand over his mouth.

In fact, it looked like half the neighborhood was all staring in the same direction in varying degrees of amusement and embarrassment.

And quite a few of them kept glancing towards Gabriel’s house as well.

“Didn’t know we had an audience,” he mumbled before following their gazes.

From an objective standpoint, it wasn’t anything… _bad._ In fact, no one would have paid a second glance if it hadn’t been for the neighborhood Facebook group, where the hottest topic now was what they had dubbed the Winchester-Shurley Rom-Com. So a few were live-streaming, some were taking pictures to post for mad karma later, and the rest were just soaking in the newest form of entertainment.

That, of course, being:

Dean, in Gabriel’s clothes, dancing stoned on the roof of the Impala.

 _Objectively,_ as well, there was nothing remotely attractive about it. The clothes were too small. The pants didn’t even _button_ and they were far too short. The shirt would’ve _just_ covered belly with his arms down, but Dean, duh, had them raised. And Dean wasn’t the best dancer _sober,_ let alone high out of his fucking mind.

But Gabriel wasn’t thinking objectively.

There was the sexiest man on the block, in _his clothes,_ showing hip bones and flushed cheeks and flashes of boxers, _dancing_ on the only car Gabe would consider taking out on a date.

This was payback. It had to be payback.

Only Dean wasn’t even looking his way to see if he was watching.

Gabriel slid open his window, leaning outside, concentrating, oblivious to the few phones that suddenly turned his way. He kept listing all the reasons this wasn’t attractive. None of them seemed to be true.

“Winchester!” he yelled out, voice cracking in the middle. He tried again. “Winchester!”

Dean’s head swung his way and a slow grin spread across his face. “Heya Gabe!”

Gabriel glanced around at all the people watching them. He wanted to tease Dean, make him do something dumb and embarrassing. But…

“Go inside!” Gabe yelled.

Dean crossed his arms. “Why?”

“There’s food inside!”

Dean stared a moment, seeming to ponder that statement. “Yeah, there is, huh!” He stumbled off the Impala, turning back to Gabriel’s house. “Thanks!”

Gabe watched, frozen, as Dean blew a big, over-the-top kiss his way.

By the time he could blink again, Dean had gone inside.

Gabriel glanced around the neighborhood, running a hand over his face before closing his widow and collapsing into his chair. Winchester… wasn’t fair.

He tapped his fingers against his closed laptop, thinking.

—

Dean was humming to himself as he put his third hot pocket in the microwave. Not that he ate two others. He just kept putting them in the microwave. Two other plates were already jammed in there that he forgot about.

“Hey, a hot pocket!” he exclaimed to himself, going to grab it out of the microwave. But he had to put down the one he was holding first, where to put it? Oh! The microwave! There, done, food in the microwave, what was next? Oh duh! Put in the time and press start. Dammit, how long did hot pockets need to be microwaved for? He went to his fridge and took out the packaging. Ooo, hot pockets. He should make one of those.

His cell phone rang and he pulled it out, squinting at the caller ID before answering. “Hey,” he said, squishing the phone with his shoulder so he could put the hot pocket on a plate.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said. “How are you?”

“Makin’ a hot pocket.” He gasped loudly. “There’s three in the microwave already!”

Cas chuckled on the line, but Dean didn’t really hear him. “Perhaps you should eat those first, then.”

“Yeah, just gotta… put this one down…” He shuffled around his kitchen. “I could really go for a hot pocket but I’m all out.”

“Microwave.”

“…You’re an angel, Cas!”

Someone else was laughing loudly on the line. “Right. I actually called you on behalf of my brother.”

“Gabe? What’s he up to?” Dean shuffled four plates around until he got one successfully heating. “Does he wanna hang out?”

“Sort of. He wants to interview you about your meth lab, remember? He said he’s free right now, if you’d like to go forward with that.”

“Cas I’m so fucking high.”

“I can tell. For the record, I did warn you.”

“Tell him to text me a link.”

“The obvious conclusion here is that I’m calling you because he doesn’t have your number, Dean.”

“Then give it to him?”

“Are you sure? You _are_ mortal enemies with him, after all.”

“Ummmmmmmm mortal enemies don’t share clothes, Castiel.”

The other person was laughing again. “Shush,” Cas said distantly. “Dean, you should give those back, you know.”

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“I like ‘em.”

“…Should I ask or…?”

Dean leaned against his wall, head thumping back. “Oh my _God_ Castiel I am _so_ fucking gay.”

“…Me… too?”

“I’m wearing his _shirt_ Cas. I’mmmmmm. I’m so gay.”

That other voice came over the phone. “You should tell him!” Charlie called out.

“I should!” Dean agreed immediately.

Cas again. “Or! Or, you could wait until you’re not high.”

Charlie boo’d him.

Dean pressed a hand against his stomach, pushing the shirt up some. “I’m, I’m gonna tell him I like the way his shirt feels against me.”

“DO IT!” yelled Charlie.

“DO NOT!” yelled Castiel.

“I’m gonna do it,” Dean mumbled.

Charlie cheered as Cas groaned. “It’s a bad idea. You’re going to hate yourself tomorrow.”

“Mmm.” Dean peeked into the microwave, which had apparently gone off a while ago. “You should give him my number. Or give me his.”

Cas sighed heavily. “Yeah, okay, fine. I warned you.”

Dean turned towards his windows, frowning. “I’m really hungry.”

“Microwave.”

He gasped. “HOT POCKET!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is currently [checks watch] fic o'clock!

Gabriel tapped his fingers against his laptop, waiting for the man on the other end of his phone to pick up.

He wasn’t _above_ publicly embarrassing Dean. That wasn’t why he made Dean go inside after the… dancing incident. No. He _definitely_ wanted to publicly embarrass Dean, but he wanted it to be on his own terms.

Dean picked up on the third ring.

“Helllooooo Dean!” Gabriel piped up, spinning in his chair.

“Heya Gabe,” Dean responded slowly. “Heard from a bird that you wanna interview me?”

“Sure do! You in?”

“Abso- _lutely.”_

“Great! I’ll text you the Zoom details and we can get started right away, if that’s cool with you?”

“Iiiiiii’ve got nothin’ but time.”

Gabriel smirked. “Perfect. See you in a few.”

He hung up and quickly configured his audio and video setup, ready to capture this shitshow when it happened.

He booted up the meeting, texted Dean, and…

Waited like five minutes for him to join.

Dean’s video popped up on the screen just as Gabriel was about to call him again.

“Gaaabe!” Dean said, holding his laptop up and grinning into it. “Nice t’ see ya, buddy!”

“Was about to ask if you got lost on the way to your desk. We’re recording, by the way. I’m legally required to tell you that.”

Dean’s laptop was propped on his… knees? Gabe guessed, anyway. He was sitting in his—

“Are you in a _bathtub?”_

“Mmm, yes, I am.” Dean settled back into it further. “May’ve gotten a liiiiitle lost on my way back to the kitchen.” He sighed. “Got a lot of hot pockets to eat.”

“Right.” Gabe propped his chin on his hand, hiding his grin. “So, I’m gonna go ahead and introduce you to the listeners. Everyone, this is Dean Winchester. He’s my neighbor. Well, two houses down from me, actually. And he claims he runs a meth lab!”

Dean held up one finger. “I _do_ run a meth lab.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Uh-huh. Sure you do. Anyways, since you’re so adamant about that, I figured we’d interview you about your ‘meth lab’ today.” He made the air quotes and everything.

Dean gave him a big thumbs-up. “Ten-four, my dude.”

“Okay, then off we go. Winchester, how did you—“

 _“Ugh._ Don’t call me that.”

He paused. “Don’t call you… your name?”

“My _last_ name. We’re not uh…” he trailed off, looking at something off-camera.

“Dean.”

He snapped back. “Oh! Hey! Uh, yeah, we’re not enemies right now, right? Jus’ call me Dean.”

“Right. Dean. How did you get involved in the… meth business?”

A slow grin spread across Dean’s face. “Yeah. It all started when I was like, reeeaaaallllyyy young. So I’ve got this little brother Samantha, right? And he’s — oh, he’s gonna be able to hear me, huh? Hey Sammy! …Where was I? Oh! Right so like, when we were like _baby_ babies, Dad would be off… somewhere, I dunno, and I’m the one makin’ supper ’n’ stuff. And you gotta use what you gotta use, so I’d make all sorts of random-ass foods from dollar store stuff. But kids get bored, because, ya know, _kids.”_ He frowned. “Do you have kids?”

“I’ve got Cassie.”

“Oh duh I knew that. ANYWAY. So I was a bored kid, and some of the places we’d stay at had a bunch of old shit, ya know like… old batteries and drain cleaner and stuff. So since I was real successful at mixin’ together suppers, I started mixin’ together random shit too. Ya know. Just to see what it did.”

“As you do.”

“Exactly!” Dean snapped. “You. You get me. Anyway, most of the shit never did anythin’, but sometimes I’d get a cool reaction and I dunno. Sorta sparked my love for chemistry I guess.”

“I see. So when did it go from at-home science experiments to running a meth lab?”

Dean shrugged, the video bouncing slightly. “Some people gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Just kinda stuck after that.”

“So. You did science experiments as a kid, became a chemist, and just sort of wandered into making drugs.”

“I don’t make drugs.”

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow. “You just said you run a meth lab.”

“Uh, _yeah._ But I don’t make drugs. I tell other people how it’s done.”

“Sure. And, as I’m sure all the listeners are morbidly curious, how _is_ it done?”

Dean put his hands behind his head, crinkling his nose slightly. “Eh, that’s a big question. There’s a bunch of different ways.”

“Let’s go with… your _favorite.”_ Gabriel had him. No normal human being just _knows_ how to make meth off the top of their head.

His eyes lit up. “Oh! Okay okay, this one’s my favorite because it has the greatest chance for _drama.”_

“Drama?”

“Okay so, what you do is, you get a two-liter of your favorite soda.”

_Got him._

“Drink it all. Save the bottle. Go somewhere secluded because if you fuck up there’s gonna be this fuckin’ GIANT explosion. Or don’t. It’s your life I guess. But just don’t do it somewhere inside because it’s toxic as fuck. You gotta vent that shit.”

_Stalling._

“So, in an _ideal_ situation, you’d mix phenylacetone with n-methylformamide in a one to two ratio in the bottle, shake it up, pour in some lemon juice, and boom, meth. But one, that reaction releases carbon dioxide like _crazy_ and you’re liable to blow up the bottle.”

“Woah wait a sec—“

“And _two,_ no one who’s out there making meth in a two-liter bottle of _coke_ has a pantry full of _phenylacetone_. Oh, ha! Dude, what if they were makin’ cocaine in there. That would be kinda funny.”

“Are you just making up words?”

“So you’ve gotta do some MacGuyver-in’, if ya feel me. Lots of things can be mixed together to make meth. It’s a fuckin’ _wonder_ people are still alive and kickin’ after smokin’ half this crap. I mean it, Gabe. People are mixin’ battery acid and toilet bowl cleaner and drano and then _ingestin’_ the crystals. Who the fuck— well. I guess people that do meth are exactly who would do that.”

“You don’t seem particularly fond of your clients.”

“Huh? No, I _love_ my clients. I love my job. It’s the best fuckin’ job in the world!”

“Mhm.” Gabe smirked, watching Dean run circles around himself. “So, for those of us who _aren’t_ addicted to meth, how would we tell if we came across a lab?”

“Depends on how much of an idiot they are.”

“How would we identify the meth lab you claim you run?”

“Ehhh, I mean, there’s a few. The low tier ones leave their windows open and dump the toxic residue onto their back lawn, so there’s always this like, dead patch of grass. And the makers smoke tobacco, so you’ll see them outside a lot. Because, ya know, they don’t wanna blow up their lab.”

“And the high tier ones?”

“You’ll never find those.” Dean paused a moment, then conceded, “Well, maybe. But to find them, you’d have to be around the people _constantly._ I mean months of near-always contact. They’re meticulously clean, every day, but most _importantly…”_ He paused for dramatic effect.

“…Yes?”

“They’ll give you migraines and asthma.” Dean finished with a flourish of his hand.

“You give me migraines. I guess that’s proof you run a meth lab then, huh?” Gabe deadpanned.

Dean smirked and spread his hands. “What can I say?”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Any advice for future meth addicts?”

“Yeah. Don’t. Unless you’re prescribed it, of course.”

“Of course.”

Dean pulled at his shirt. “Hey! I wanted to tell you I like the way your shirt feels against my skin!”

Gabe opened his mouth, closed it, frowned, and opened it again. “That’s weirdly specific.”

“You’re not gettin’ it back.”

He whined. “That’s my favorite shirt!”

“Mine too!” Dean brought it up to cover his face. “Smells like you.”

“… It… huh?”

His eyes lit up. “Hey, want one of my shirts in return? I could wear it to bed and then give it to you so it smells like me and it’ll be like we’re hangin’ out!”

“I… we…” Gabriel looked behind himself, like maybe this wasn’t directed at him at all. “We’re… enemies?”

“Ohhhh yeah. You’re the kind of enemy that would like…” he pressed a finger under his chin, “put a sword to my throat and watch me squirm, huh?”

“Well I think that’s a good enough interview for this week,” Gabe squeaked out, frantically scrolling his trackpad to figure out where the _fuck_ the mouse pointer was on the screen.

“Or maybe you’d like, do a villain monologue while I’m tied up or handcuffed or—“

“And thank you for letting me interview you! It was great, really. Charming. Buh-bye.”

“Oh, bye! OH, BYE SAMMY!!!”

Gabriel stopped the recording and the call, dropping his head into his hands and groaning.

A few minutes went by before his phone buzzed. He picked it up to see one new message. Asshole Neighbor.

Selfie of said neighbor with a prop sword (at least, Gabe _hoped_ it was a prop sword) pressed to his neck, tongue out and winking.

_Damn you, Winchester._

Gabe chose not to respond.

He spent the next hour or so editing the audio, making it clearer, removing the sharp S sounds, etc. He even opened up an incognito tab to look up some chemicals Dean had named, just in case, but nothing came up. Gabe was 90% sure he spelled them correctly, so he hummed to himself and posted the audio.

Let that dick embarrass himself pretending to run a meth lab. See how high-and-mighty he was tomorrow.

Gabriel laid in bed that night, staring at his phone screen, frowning. There Dean was, in all his stoned glory.

He set it as his lock screen and fell asleep.

He woke up to the sounds of sirens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm on a watchlist after researching this chapter


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [obligatory joke about the nonexistence of time]

Castiel stood out in his front lawn, like the rest of the neighborhood. Charlie squinted in the harsh sunlight beside him.

Dean was shoved harshly against the hood of a police car, hands behind his back as cops stormed his house.

“You all _better_ be wearing gloves!” he shouted, only for his face to be pushed back onto the car.

“Is Dean gonna be okay?” Charlie whispered, eyes wide with worry.

Cas sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Yes. He’ll be fine, just incredibly pissed.”

“You think they heard the podcast?”

“It’s topping every chart.”

Charlie cringed in sympathy as she watched Dean get manhandled.

“No doubt he’s enjoying this a little,” Castiel said nonchalantly.

“Being searched?”

“Like that? Being Dean? Yes.”

She snorted and looked over to Gabriel’s house, where said man was peeking through his curtains, only one eye visible. “He’s gonna kill Gabe.”

“Absolutely.”

One officer kicked Dean’s feet farther apart while another approached Castiel and Charlie.

Cas held up one hand. “Officer.”

The cop nodded at the two of them from six feet away. “You two live here?” she asked.

Charlie opened her mouth to answer, but Castiel piped in with a, “Yes. We do.”

“Have you noticed any strange odors or behaviors coming from Mr. Winchester’s house?”

“Not at all. You?” Castiel asked, turning to Charlie.

She shook her head. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“No strange visitors?”

Castiel laughed, but it sounded cold. “No one has had visitors for a long time.”

“He’s never attempted to sell you any illicit substances, or discussed them with you?”

“Sell? Absolutely not. But of course we have discussed them.”

“What were these discussions generally like?”

“Usually heated talks about the dramatic unfoldings of medical dramas.”

The cop frowned, turning to Charlie. “What about you, ma’am?”

“I haven’t discussed drugs with him at all.”

Suddenly, Cas snapped his fingers, as if he had just remembered something. “Oh, shoot. Is this about that podcast that came out?” he asked sarcastically.

The cop sighed. “We have reason to believe Mr. Winchester is the leader of a clandestine group of meth labs.”

“Leader of meth labs, yes. But there is nothing clandestine about them. In fact, I bet if you googled it right now, you could find the address of every one of them.”

The cop’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Oh, yes. He’s very open about his work, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” Cas’s voice was dry. He made a ‘go ahead’ motion with his hand, and the cop took out her phone warily, typing in some words.

Cas shoved his hands back into his pockets, fake smile plastered on as he watched the cop’s face drop.

“Uh, Chief? Chief!” she hurried off, headed towards the man pinning Dean down.

Charlie raised her eyebrows at Cas. “What was that about?”

He huffed. “Really, a simple search would have made this entire thing pointless. We have a right to say whatever we please, you know. He shouldn’t be _searched_ for something that isn’t too difficult to find online. Especially not in these conditions.”

The chief was on the phone, eyes warily on Dean. He suddenly winced, like someone on the phone had yelled, and soon was hurrying to get the keys to the handcuffs out of his pockets.

Within the space of five minutes, Dean was standing alone in his yard again, no sign of cops or cop cars anywhere.

He rubbed his wrists where the metal had bit in and glared down Gabriel’s house.

“Does your brother have his will ready?” Charlie whispered.

“I really hope so.”

—

Gabriel hadn’t _meant_ to get Dean in trouble.

He had been so sure — _so_ sure that it was fake! Who ever heard of a handsome, twenty-something suburban man running a group of meth labs?! No one! That’s who!

He hid in his house most of the day, dreading whatever came next. He wasn’t a _complete_ idiot. If Dean really _did_ have meth labs, and a single call made every cop in the area leave him alone… then Dean was more than just a drug dealer.

He was some sort of… _mafia boss._

And Gabriel was dead meat.

He jumped when his cell phone buzzed, then cursed himself for being so jumpy.

Asshole Neighbor. Of course.

 ** _[Asshole]_** ** _5:18pm_ ** _Hey Gabriel, whatcha doin?_

 **_< << 5:18pm _ ** _haha nothing much, wbu?_

 ** _[Asshole] 5:19pm_ ** _got a surprise for you._

 **_< << 5:19pm _ ** _no thanks, not my bday_

 ** _[Asshole] 5:20pm_ ** _Come outside._

 **_< << 5:21pm _ ** _no thanks! have a good night, don’t let the bedbugs bite!_

 ** _[Asshole] 5:22pm_ ** _I’m not asking, and you have one more chance. Come. Outside._

 **_< << 5:23pm_ ** _really not in the mood tbh, there’s this virus going around, maybe you’ve heard of it?_

There wasn’t a text back, and Gabriel seriously considered the best places to hide in his house. Closets seemed too obvious, and so did the bathroom. Maybe a cabinet?

 ** _[Asshole] 5:26pm_ ** _aw, that’s so sweet._

Gabriel looked around in confusion. That… didn’t seem meant for him.

 **_< << 5:27pm _ ** _did you butt dial me?_

 ** _[Asshole] 5:27pm_ ** _ha! no. Your door code is Castiel’s birthday. That’s cute._

There was the soft click of his door being unlocked, and Gabriel felt every blood cell drain from his face.

 ** _[Asshole] 5:27pm_ ** _Come outside :)_

He was dead. He was so, _so_ fucking dead.

Gabriel clutched his phone in one hand, ready to dial for help if need be, and walked to his front door. His front door that was slightly open, letting in the dying light from outside.

He took a deep breath, silently asked the universe for a painless death, and flung his door open.

It took a moment for him to process what he was seeing. There was a large, inflatable swimming pool in his front yard filled with water. There was a trash can perched on the pool ladder, a rope attached to it, leading to—

Dean, standing on top of his Impala, which was parked on the road. He held the rope in one hand, winding it around his fingers thoughtfully. “Hey there, Gabriel,” he cooed, drawing out the syllables.

Gabriel took a tentative step outside, one hand on his doorknob. “Uh. Hey there, Dean.”

Dean held up his free hand. “Uh-uh. Call me Winchester. You lost the first name privilege.”

He winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you were being serious. I even looked up some of the stuff you mentioned to make sure, but I guess I spelled it wrong and just— please don’t kill me.”

Dean hummed in thought. “Don’t kill you, you say?” He gave the rope a hard tug, not enough to knock over the trash can into the pool, but hard enough that Gabriel darted halfway back inside. “Come back outside, Gabriel.”

Gabe stepped onto his porch, heart thudding in his ears.

Dean smiled wide at him. “Close your door.”

“I don’t uh… I don’t want to close my door.”

“I’m afraid it’s not up for debate, Gabe.”

He closed his door.

“You regretfully did not inform me that the podcast _in question_ has been on the top ten lists for two years now. That’s impressive, Gabriel. You’ve done good.”

Gabe pressed his back to his door. “Th-thank you.”

“I bet you’re wondering why I wasn’t arrested, aren’t you?”

He nodded.

“You see, I _do_ run meth labs.” Dean grinned at him, something dark flashing in his eyes. “I run a lot of them. I run cocaine labs. I run heroine fields. If it’s an addictive, dangerous drug, I am the Man in Charge, as it goes.”

He was going to die. Dean was going to kill him, and everyone would be around to see it from their windows, and Dean would walk free because he was the damn mafia boss _of_ the mafia bosses!

“I’m a chemist, Gabriel. When I finished my degree, at the behest of Sam, we went out for drinks. I ordered a few specific shots and mixed them myself, mostly to entertain the man I had begun talking to. I made him a rainbow shot. Easy stuff, a basic density equation.” Dean twirled the rope around his fingers. “He was impressed. Offered me an interview at his company. I graciously accepted. And, by my natural charm, I landed the job. It is the job I still hold, to this day.” He tilted his head. _“Gabriel.”_

“Y-yes?” he squeaked.

“Do you know what my job is?”

“You… You run meth labs.”

“Sure. What do I do there?”

“You… You tell people how to make meth and… and they do it.”

“Ooo, so close!” He tightened the slack in the rope. “Half right. I tell people how to make drugs. I tell them the side effects. I tell them how they work, what chemicals are involved, where they can be found, what the worst combinations are. Then they _take_ the information I give them—“ He gave the line half a pull, teetering the trash can.

Gabriel flinched. “Wait!”

Dean smirked, eyebrows raised in expectation.

“Maybe we can just… talk this out, yeah? No need to blow me up or anything! I’ve got nothing personal against the mafia!”

Dean groaned. “Oh for fuck’s— I’m a consulting chemist for medical dramas, you ass!” His eyes were blazing.

“A… what?”

“Every meth lab you’ve seen on Dr. Sexy for the past _seven seasons_ has been run by me! _I_ tell them what to do! _I_ make it accurate! _I_ am in charge of all the drama that unfolds because of Ben’s heroine addiction!”

Gabe stared a moment, then released a breath. “Oh my god. I thought you were going to kill me.”

He jerked the rope. “I’m still deciding.”

Gabe cast his eyes nervously to the trash can and the pool. “Are you… Are you gonna make a pool full of meth in my front lawn and call the cops on me?”

“Adorable. Too easy.” That smirk slid back onto his face. “See, Gabriel, I’m not _nice_ enough for that.”

“Um—“

“Safety glasses on!” Dean yelled, throwing a pair of plastic goggles hard enough that they hit Gabriel square in the face.

“Hey, _ow!”_

 _“Castiel!”_ Dean yelled, pointing to his house. “Shields _up!”_

Charlie and Cas quickly lifted two large, plastic shields the length of their fence.

Gabriel took everything in with increasing panic. “Dean—“

Dean pulled safety googles down onto his face, snarling. “It’s _Winchester,_ motherfucker!”

With a hard pull, the trash can tumbled down into the water.

No, not water.

A beat passed where nothing happened, and Gabriel almost thought it hadn’t worked, but then it was a fucking _explosion_ of red foam.

Like a damn science fair volcano, only eight hundred times more powerful and extremely quickly flooding his entire yard in the space of five seconds, shoving him hard back against his door.

The foam raised to his second floor, a _typhoon_ if he was honest with himself, that smelled _awful_ and moved like Nascar. It splashed against the plastic shields Cas and Charlie were holding up before sloshing right back into Gabriel’s yard, filling every nook and cranny with _bullshit._ He couldn’t see a goddamned thing! Red pressed up against his safety goggles, against his _everything._ He scrambled for his doorknob and darted inside, a doorway-sized log of foam following him at thirty miles an hour. He shoved his door closed and locked it, groaning at his red-stained hands.

Dean examined the scene with pride, watching as the foam crept right up to the edge of Baby but didn’t lay a finger on her. Precise calculations, that’s what Dean was good at.

The reaction ended fairly quickly, and Gabriel’s entire two-story house was hidden in a layer of red fluff.

“Safety glasses off,” he mumbled to himself, pulling them onto his forehead.

He glanced over at Charlie and Cas, who were still standing, mouths open, dumbfounded.

“Good job with those shields, guys,” he yelled at them, hands cupped around his mouth. “None got in your yard, right?”

Cas shook his head dazedly.

Charlie swallowed, though her mouth was dry. “What uh… What was that?”

Dean frowned and jumped off his car, jogging over to the front of Cas’s house. “Couldn’t hear ya.”

“That. What the fuck.”

“Oh! Uh, super simple science experiment. Hydrogen peroxide and dish soap in the pool, yeast in the trash can.” He shrugged. “Plus food coloring. He’ll look sunburned for a good few days.”

Neither of the two said anything else, instead merely looking at the _massive_ pile of colored foam. Thirty feet high, at _least._

“Welp! I’ll see you guys later? Got some food to cook for supper. This really set me back on time so it might just be pizza. Again.” He waved at them as he jogged merrily back to Baby, driving her to his own driveway.

“He’s a mad scientist,” Charlie whispered, still shocked.

“Fuck,” Castiel agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you wanna see EXACTLY what happened to Gabe's yard, check [out the inspiration here!](https://vm.tiktok.com/3b1cSQ/)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I awake when my dogs tell me it is morning  
> Also special thanks to avengercastiel for the idea here!

Gabriel stared outside his windows.

Well, as good as he could. He couldn’t see a damn thing. It was just red shit dominating the landscape. _And_ his skin.

He pulled out his phone and texted Dean.

 **_< << 8:27am _ ** _how long is this supposed to last, asswipe?_

Dean sent back a gif of Rick Sanchez flipping him off.

Gabriel groaned and sat back. As far as he could tell, the foam was still around his _entire fucking house,_ and like, not that he was going anywhere _anyway_ but fuck this all in particular.

Fuck this _man_ in particular.

Yeah _okay_ maybe he deserved it. He really shouldn’t have posted that recording until Dean was sober and could review it, but like, c’mon. Dean had stolen his _favorite_ shirt and wouldn’t stop arguing with him about _anything._ He was in the right here.

Gabriel sighed.

No, he wasn’t.

But fuck if he was gonna tell _Dean_ that.

He frowned at his computer, the only source of entertainment in his house, and opened up the audio recorder. He could at least clear things up with his listeners. At _least._

—

Charlie bit her tongue, looking intensely at the mound of foam to her right.

Cas laid a coffee mug beside her and examined her canvas. “I like it,” he announced.

“Thanks! I’ve always wanted to get into oil painting, and now seemed as good a time as ever, I guess.”

He pointed with a pinky at the paint. “The shadows really make the whole thing pop. I took a few classes, if you have any specific questions. I think I still have terpenoid somewhere…”

“What’s that?”

“Thins the paint. Makes it easier to work with.”

She pulled back her brush. “Honestly? I’d love that. This shit is so thick.”

“With one or two c’s?”

She laughed and picked up the coffee mug, taking a sip. “When did you get into pop culture?”

He huffed, looking out across the garden. “Taking care of bees only takes up so much of my time. I may have downloaded tiktok.”

“Oh no…”

“And Tumblr.”

“My _sweet summer child!”_ she mourned dramatically, one hand against her head. “Your innocence hath fled so fast!”

“Bold of you to assume I ever had any innocence, growing up with _that.”_ He gestured to Gabriel’s foam.

She glanced over, smiling. “What was he like?”

“Gabriel? He pretended to be this cool older brother, but really he was just protective and all-seeing. Dad was usually either drunk or lost in his typewriter, so Gabe took care of me. He’s somewhere between a brother and a father. And a frat boy.”

Charlie snorted. “He sounds like a good kid.”

Cas smiled at her, some sort of secret smile. “Maybe.”

“Tell him to adopt me.”

He laughed loudly. “I’ll run it by him. But he seems indisposed at the moment.”

“Yeah. How long is it supposed to last?”

“I guess as long as Dean wants it to.”

She made some noncommittal sound, going back to painting. “Imagine having such a big crush on someone that you cover their entire house in the color of love.”

“I was thinking it was more like blood, but, sure.”

“You think Dean will forgive him?”

Cas frowned at where Gabriel’s house would normally be. “I’m not sure. Gabriel messed up. It will be a while before Dean flirts with him again.”

“You mean insults him.”

“That’s what I said.”

She leaned back, finally done. “They better get together. I joined Facebook for this.”

“I did, too.”

“Maybe we could… push them closer together?”

Cas looked at Charlie, one eyebrow raised, grinning. “What did you have in mind?”

Charlie held up her phone and waved it. “I was thinking we could get someone else on our team…”

—

Dean listened to the latest episode of Gabriel’s podcast, frowning. It was an apology. Sort of. It was actually going over the real facts with his listeners.

His house phone rang, and he reached out for it. “Hey,” he said immediately. Only one person ever called that line.

“So you’re not in jail.”

“Nope. I appreciate the concern, though, Sammy.”

“And the science stuff. That was… intense.”

Dean squinted, though Sam couldn’t see him. “How did you hear about that?”

“I’ve got eyes everywhere, Dean,” he responded, scrolling through Dean’s neighborhood’s Facebook page.

Dean snorted. “How’s Cali?”

“Same as it has been for two months.”

“Ugh. That bad?”

“We’ve got a lot more people than you guys do. But we’re doing alright. Jess says hi.”

“Kiss her for me.”

“Nope. So, did you listen to the newest ep of Small Talk or are you ignoring your boyfriend?”

Dean scowled into the phone. “Don’t have a boyfriend. And yeah, I heard it. It’s just Gabe trying to save face.”

“Sure it is.” He could hear the smile on Sam’s face. “So how long until you forgive him?”

“I’m not _gonna_ forgive him, Sammy. He almost got me _arrested.”_

“Uh, no. _You_ almost got you arrested. What the hell did you _think_ was gonna happen if you kept telling people you ran a meth lab?”

Dean made an offended sound. “Are you on _his_ side?!”

Sam absently liked a photo montage someone had made of Dean and Gabe together. “Maybe. I’m more on the ‘peace’ side of things.”

“I’m not forgiving him.”

“Just give him a chance.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Dean looked at his cell phone and scowled at a new text from Gabriel. “He just texted me. Again. Like he has been all day.”

Sam put him on speaker, waggling his eyebrows at Jessica. “Spill the tea, dude.”

Dean rolled his eyes and opened the message. “ _If I apologize will you get rid of the foam?_ ” he read aloud.

Sam shrugged. “Do it. Win-win.”

“ _What if I say no_ ,” Dean read as he typed.

Jess raised her eyebrows at Sam, who grinned in response. “Should I let you go?”

“Why? It’s just Shurley.”

“I just know how obsessed with him you are.”

“… When I see you again, my fist is gonna be obsessed with your face.”

Sam laughed loudly. “Dean. You have talked about _literally_ nothing but him for _weeks_ now. Give it a rest.”

“How about you—“ Dean’s threat died in his throat as he read the next text from Gabriel.

 **_< << 10:18pm_ ** _then i’d do anything you want_

“How about I what?” Sam teased.

 **_< << 10:19pm_ ** _should i add the eggplant emoji and a wink or do you get the message_

“You know what? Fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Give Gabe a kiss for me.”

“Do it yourself, coward.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up, Dean’s eyes still firmly on his cell. He typed out a response, backspaced it, typed out another, backspaced it, and finally just decided to call him.

Gabe answered on the fourth ring. “Heya, Winchester.”

“Asshole move.”

“Got you to finally talk to me, didn’t it? Can’t resist me, huh, Dean?”

“It is _Winchester_ to you. And what could you do that could _possibly_ make up for having my face mashed into a police car?”

Gabe sighed. “I don’t know. But I’m in the wrong here, so I gotta do something.”

“You just want your skin its normal color again.”

“It uh… would be nice, sure. An added perk. Red doesn’t suit me.”

 _“Good,”_ Dean snarled.

“I am _trying_ here, Dean! What do you want from me? Baked goods? I suck at those! A sword against your throat? Has to be a pretty long sword! A test subject? Again, distancing is—“

“Wait.”

Gabriel waited.

“I could use a test subject.”

“…Okay I was joking. I _am_ sorry but you’re not injecting _meth_ into me.”

“You don’t inject— no. I meant I was thinking of starting a Bill Nye type deal anyway. And you already have a fanbase.”

“You want me. To make science videos with you.”

“Yep.”

“Um, in case it didn’t get through that pretty hair of yours, I’m _not a scientist.”_

“Even better. It’s gonna be geared towards kids anyway. Sam and Jess are expecting, so this will be a… posterity sort of thing.”

“You can’t see me, but my look could be described as incredulous.”

“You asked what you could do. Agree to this before I think of something more fitting, like making you detail Baby.”

“I do like Baby. You could handcuff me and shove _my_ face against her. I’d be better at that. Could even wear a bikini.”

Dean’s mind stuttered at that mental image. “Don’t… Don’t tempt me.”

“You’re tempted?” He sounded surprised.

“The video thing is more helpful.” Dean barreled on right past that topic, do not pass Go, thanks. “And you already do computer stuff anyway.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “For how long?”

“Til quarantine’s over.”

Gabe cursed sharply and ran a hand over his face. “Sure. Whatever. Yeah. I’ll do it.”

“Then the foam will be gone tomorrow. Scrub yourself with a loofa for a while, then soak in a hot bath. Should take most of the color off.”

“Bless you.”

“Don’t bless me yet. You’re still on thin ice.”

He snorted. “I’ll send you a bathtub selfie then. It’s no fun arguing when you’re actually mad at me.”

“What does that mean? I’ve been mad at you since you megaphoned me down.”

“Yeah sure. Same, or whatever. I’m gonna go try to look less like the koolaid man now. Text me the info for the videos.”

“Will do. Have a shitty bath.”

“Have nightmares.”

They both hung up, and Dean leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a while, until his phone buzzed again.

Dickface Jerkwad. Who else?

It was a selfie. Gabe in the bathtub, waist up, one eyebrow raised and skin somewhere between a firetruck and a two-year-old who found their mom’s blush.

Dean put his phone down again and asked the universe what he had done to deserve this kind of torture.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all remember that Tumblr thing that went around like "describe your wip poorly"? Well anyways, this is "I fucking hate that guy. ....is he single"

Charlie typed on her laptop, sitting in a lawn chair in the backyard. It was peaceful here, with the plants and the quiet and the setting sun.

Castiel was inside, working on orders, and she loved that. She loved that they could be in separate rooms doing their own things and no one got pissed or hurt about it. And they could sit in the same room for hours and not say a word and still be just as great friends as when they watched movies together.

This was good. This was what they both needed.

“Hey, you,” a voice called out from an adjacent yard.

She looked up from her screen to see a pinkish Gabriel squinting at her.

“I never caught your name.”

She waved one hand. “Charlie.”

“Then hey, Charlie! What’s up?”

“Working. You need some aloe vera or…?”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Funny. Hilarious, actually. You should be a comedian.”

Charlie tossed her hair dramatically. “Why, thank you.”

Gabe snorted. “What’s Cassie up to?”

“Shipping out orders. He got a lot in this week.”

“Good, good.”

She raised one eyebrow at him. “How are things with Dean?”

Gabriel winced. “Uh. Better?”

“Better how?”

“I’m gonna help him host a kid’s science thing now, to make up for the uh…”

“The almost getting him arrested thing?”

“Yeah. That.”

She nodded, going back to typing. “I didn’t know you were into science.”

“I’m not. I’m _definitely_ not. But, I thought maybe you were?”

“I’ve done my fair share of dabbling.”

“Can you… help me? Like, I’m gonna make a fool of myself if I try to help as-is.”

Charlie stopped typing and looked over at him. “You want me to teach you science?”

“…Yes.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, okay. I can send you some videos to watch, just some basic stuff.”

Gabriel sighed in relief. “Thank you, Charlie. Really.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You wanna impress your boyfriend.”

“Not my boyfriend.”

“You _want_ him to be your boyfriend, though.”

Gabe tilted his head in thought. “I think I just want him in my bed for the night.” He raised one finger. “I think he has a being-tied-up kink.”

“That is definitely more than I needed to know.” She side-eyed him. “Tell me more.”

“He is also _obsessed_ with that car. So I’m thinking, in my perfect scenario, I’d combine the two.”

“Gross. I love it.”

“Yeah. Too bad the cops got to it before I did.”

Charlie laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh no. I bet he’s still dreaming about that.”

“I wonder if I should order a cop outfit, just complete the whole look. What do you think?”

“I think it’s way too soon, and do it.” Charlie suddenly gasped, eyes wide. “Gabriel. _Gabe.”_

“Charlie.”

“Wear it for your first video.”

He giggled slightly. “Ah, no, _that_ is insensitive. But I like where your head is at. Maybe I could find some skimpy science outfit? Like a, crop top lab coat?”

“That is _definitely_ against the lab safety rules.”

“Dark red lipstick looks good on me.”

“Bitch, _yes!_ Distract him through the whole thing!”

“Oh gosh I can see it now. I come out looking all fancy, Winchester is drooling, and then BAM! I blind him with science!” He paused. “Not literally, of course.”

“I’m loving this idea.”

“What idea?” Dean said from the other yard, boombox perched on his shoulder.

Charlie waved at him as Gabe said, “We were just talking about how sexy I am.”

Dean raised one eyebrow at Charlie, who shrugged.

“Right. Sure.” He pulled out his phone and began scrolling through songs. “Any suggestions?”

“Silence.”

Charlie glanced at Gabriel and smirked. “How about ‘Pink’?”

Gabe threw his arms out in mock offense as Dean laughed. “Aerosmith? Yeah, okay. Suits him.”

“I’m deeply hurt,” Gabe complained.

Dean looked up at him, smile still hiding barely on his lips. “You’ll live.”

The first guitar chords blared from the speaker as Gabriel found himself mentally tracing the curves of Dean’s body. It should be illegal, him wearing worn out jeans and a faded tee, hair messed up and freckles bright against tan skin like that.

“Care for this dance?” Dean teased, hand held out as if there wasn’t an entire backyard between them.

“What?”

“You were staring at me. I think ballroom etiquette states that means you want a dance.”

Gabriel’s cheeks were already pink, so what did it matter that he was blushing now? “I was thinking about how nerdy you look.”

“Nerdy, huh? Strong words coming from the pink guy wearing a cat shirt that says ‘check meowt’ on it.”

“You love my style. You even stole one of my outfits. Which I would like back, by the way.”

“Not a chance.”

Gabe huffed. “Why do you wanna keep it so bad?”

Dean met his eyes again over the space between them and shrugged. “It smells like you.”

The song ended and Dean started the next, seemingly unaware of how easily he had stopped Gabriel’s breathing.

“Think I told you that already,” Dean said over the music.

“Okay but I didn’t know you were serious.” Gabe’s face was unreadable, for once. “What do I smell like?”

Dean’s eyes softened a moment before he suddenly grinned. “Like a _bitch!”_

Charlie laughed from behind her laptop while Gabe facepalmed. “How original. Couldn’t have guessed that answer,” he grumbled.

“What was that?” Dean mocked, one hand cupped around an ear. “Couldn’t hear you over the music you hate!”

“I don’t hate the music! I hate the volume and the timing!” Gabe scrunched his face up. “Hey, asshole!”

“Yes, asshole?”

“I want one of your shirts.”

Dean stilled for a moment before laughing. “Why?”

“I want to know what you smell like.”

“I smell like a winner.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Something flashed in Dean’s eyes before he said simply, “Okay.” and pulled his shirt off. He winked at Gabe, holding the fabric above his head. “Mind if I do yard work for you?” Dean said in a poor imitation of Gabriel, eyes wide and innocent.

“You know what, my gutters do need cleaned if your mind is gonna be in them all the time. A man can’t weed eat a neighbor’s lawn without there being ulterior motives?”

“No comment.” Dean balled his shirt up and threw it into Gabriel’s yard. “Let that sit in the sun for like, fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not an _idiot,_ Winchester.”

The corners of Dean’s mouth twitched. “Again, no comment.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m already half-naked. Do your worst.”

Damn Winchester and his damn flirting and his damn chest and just _dammit!_ “Why don’t I take off _my_ shirt and together we can be a whole naked?”

“Why don’t I take it off for you?”

Charlie snapped her laptop shut. “I’m going inside!” she announced. “Nice to talk to both of you!”

The door closed behind her on the startled faces of the two men. Gabriel looked like he was shocked at what had come out of Dean’s mouth, and Dean looked exactly the same.

“I uh…” Dean stammered, “I didn’t um, I didn’t mean to—“

“We were just kidding, right?”

There was a beat, then, “Right! Kidding!”

“Pssh, yeah, that’s just what we do! That’s our… our thing!”

“Mm, _totally_ our thing!” Dean agreed, face slightly panicked. “It makes us both uncomfortable so that’s why we do it. Because we’re enemies.”

“Yes! Enemies, _exactly!_ Nothing ulterior here!”

“I wouldn’t take your shirt off, duh,” Dean barreled on, face heating up.

“And see? I know that! You wouldn’t take my shirt off, and I wouldn’t let you!”

They stared.

“Wouldn’t let you uh, wouldn’t let you take my shirt off, I mean,” Gabriel blurted out. “I mean, I would _definitely_ let you take my shirt off.”

“I uh—“

 _“Wouldn’t!”_ Gabriel yelled. “I meant I _wouldn’t_ let you take my shirt off! Of course! Because we’re just kidding!”

“Right! And we can say whatever we want while we’re kidding, because it’s just jokes!”

“Exactly!”

“I could say that I’d love to grab your ass and it wouldn’t mean anything because we’re just joshing around!”

Gabriel held his arms out in victory. “YES! And I could say that I would personally _love_ that and it doesn’t affect anything! I could pretend I have dreams about tying you to your Impala and it wouldn’t matter!”

“Tying me to my—“ Dean put a hand over his mouth, cheeks and throat blazing. “I um… yep. Yeah. Doesn’t affect me at all. Because we’re kidding.”

“Yep. Uh. Kidding.”

“I’m gonna go inside now,” Dean announced, voice sounding strangled.

“Yeah me too,” Gabe agreed awkwardly. “Don’t uh, don’t jack off in my clothes.”

Dean’s eyes widened comically. “I um…”

“Kidding. See? It’s fine! We’re fine!” Gabriel was just blurting things out now, backing away from the fence towards the discarded shirt.

“Oh! Yeah, ha. Um, feel free to jack off in mine.” Dean was immediately cursing his own tongue.

Gabe stalled with the shirt in his hands, a panicked expression on his face. “I uh… will… do?”

Dean gave him a thumbs-up and _oh my god Winchester who the fuck gives thumbs-ups_ almost tripped over his discarded boombox. “Alright, cool cool cool! I’ll text you tonight with the experiment ideas!”

“Experiment…?”

“The science ones!”

“OH! That kind of experiment! Gotcha!” _Go inside go inside what the fuck are you doing_ “I’ll send you another bathtub selfie later!” _oh my god_

Dean gave another awkward thumbs-up. “Cool cool cool! I’m gonna go inside. For real this time!”

“Have a good trip!” _hey 911 I’d like to report myself for being a fucking fool_

 _Don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it_ Dean gave him a third thumbs-up. _OH MY GOD_

They both backed awkwardly into their homes, collapsing just after the doors closed.

Charlie pressed her fingers to her temples while Castiel’s fingertips were tented against his lips.

“Maybe we close the windows next time,” he suggested.

“Good idea.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not proofread this chapter. we live and die like men

Dean chewed on the end of his pen, staring at his laptop. Complex formulas were written across it, which he was proofreading.

“God, who’s balancing these equations?” he grumbled to himself as he changed a 4 to an 18.

Work had been slow, but not too bad. In lieu of filming, _Dr. Sexy MD_ had decided to start working on the script for next season. Which is what Dean was proofreading. They were only about two episodes in, but he liked the direction it was going.

His phone rang, and he didn’t even look away from his laptop as he swiped up to answer it. “Hewwo,” Dean said around the pen he was still consuming.

“… Uwu?”

“Chawie?”

“What the hell are you doing, man.”

Dean let the pen fall out of his mouth. “Working, you night owl. How’d you get this number?”

Charlie snorted on the other end of the line. “Chill out, Mr. President. I got it from Cas.”

He _vaguely_ remembered Cas asking if he could give Charlie his number. “Alright. That scans. What’s up?”

“I heard about your new show with your boyfriend.”

“Since I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Gabriel, dumbass.”

Dean’s lips twitched in a smile. “Maybe we _do_ have a show. What’s it to ya?”

“I came to ask what the first episode is over.”

“You want spoilers? Bad Charles.”

She snorted. “Not quite. Just helping out a friend who doesn’t want to look like a complete idiot in front of you.”

“Aww. Tell Cas he could never look like a complete idiot to me.”

“I meant Gabriel and you know it.”

“Hmph. Gabe could never _not_ look like a complete idiot to me.”

“Relationship goals, truly,” she deadpanned. “He’s legitimately trying to impress you so maybe let it happen.”

Dean corrected a few more numbers. “He’s still trying to make up for the police thing.”

“Then maybe let him?”

He reached for his pen again, munching on it absently. “Bakink thoda vowcanoth,” he finally conceded.

“Baking soda volcanoes?”

“That’th what I thaid.”

“Okay. I’ll let him know. Anything else you wanna pass along?”

“Teww him to weaw kokkwth.”

“Jesus Christ dude, I can’t understand you.”

Dean spit out his pen again. “Goggles. Tell him to wear some.”

“Roger Roger.”

“Hey Charles?”

“Hm?”

He fidgeted slightly, reaching for the pen again before stopping himself. “What did he say about me?”

Charlie rolled her eyes, not that Dean could see. “He said you were the hottest thing in the entire world and he wants to marry you and have your babies.”

“Oh go fuck yourself,” he grumbled with no real bite to the words.

He heard Castiel through the speaker. “It’s true, that sounds _exactly_ like Gabriel. You know he’s _such_ a romantic.”

“Your sarcasm astounds me, Cassie. I liked it better when you didn’t understand it.”

“Alas, being your neighbor has taught me much.” He heard the distinct shuffling of Castiel coming closer to the phone. “If it’s my blessing you’re after, you have it. Go get him, tiger.”

“I hate both of you.”

“You adore us.”

“Yeah well… maybe.” He shoved the pen back between his teeth. “Kotta ko. Wove you kuys.”

Charlie grinned. “You hear that, Castiel? He woves us. Thought the great Dean Winchester didn’t say love?”

“I thaid _wove._ Thewe’s a diffwenth. Bethidth, wife ith thowt. I need to thay wove mowe often.”

Castiel teased, “We wove you too, Dean. Have fun at work.”

Dean hung up absently, squinting at his computer screen. “Who the fuck made cocaine gibe you migwainths?”

He fixed a few more things before opening up Messenger in a separate monitor and sending a quick call to Gabriel while he was still thinking about it.

Gabe answered after five rings, the picture dark and his hair messy. “What.”

“Need you to ko ket thome thinks.”

“…I’m hanging up.”

Dean rolled his eyes and removed the pen. Again. “Need you to go get some things.”

“In _these_ conditions?”

“Wear a mask.”

“I meant that it’s _raining._ Have you even seen the outside world today?”

“I’m wowkin’.”

“Pen.”

“Dammit.” Dean threw it to the other side of the room. “Helps me concentrate.”

“I’m not going anywhere right now. It’s literally thundering. Is your house soundproof or something?”

He shrugged. “This room is.”

Gabe raised an eyebrow, the footage a bit grainy. “Well that’s not sexy-scary at all.”

“Didn’t want anyone calling the police if I had a few chemical reactions go awry. Oh wait.”

“You ever gonna let that go?”

“Nope. I need you to go get baking soda and vinegar if you don’t have any already. I’m sure Charlie has already texted you about…” He trailed off, running reactions in his head as he read over the script.

Gabriel waited for two full minutes before huffing. “Hey, Winchester? I’m still here!”

Dean jumped. “Oh! Right. Food coloring too. It’ll be cooler if we have a paper mâché volcano but I have graduated cylinders we could use instead.”

“Lucky for _you_ I just so happen to be a paper mâché _master.”_

“That so?” Dean mumbled, not really listening.

“Dude if you’re busy, I’m hanging up.”

“Keep me company,” he muttered absently, unconsciously opening a drawer to look for a new pen.

“Me. Keep you company.”

Dean stilled. “Did I say that?”

“You did.”

“Huh. Okay. Tell me about your morning or whatever.”

“My morning.”

“I’m listening.” He waved a pencil around his head. “Info goes in here fine, just doesn’t come out my mouth well.”

“… Aren’t we enemies?”

“I’m extending a temporary olive branch here. You can take it or not.”

Gabriel regarded him suspiciously. Dean’s hair was up at all sorts of angles and he hadn’t shaven in what looked like two solid weeks, though he knew that couldn’t be the case. “I interviewed Albert Einstein today.”

Dean snorted. “You did not.”

“Eh. I interviewed his biggest, nerdiest expert fan so it was _kinda_ like I interviewed him. I didn’t really get some of the stuff the guy was going on about but I figure someone else will.”

“How do you pick peopwe fow youw show?” Dean mumbled around the now-pencil.

“A lot of times the guys who run our network of podcasts pick them for me. I just have to have my research and questions ready to go. And my pleasant personality doesn’t hurt, either.”

“Oh, you’w pweathant?”

“I can be, when others aren’t constantly playing loud music or unleashing science experiments on my house.”

Dean grinned at that. “Thoundth wike—“ he rolled his eyes at himself. “Sounds like a douche.”

“Eh. He’s alright, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, this guy is a _major_ pain in my ass… but he’s pretty cool. Definitely a solid ten, too.”

Dean laughed softly, face red. “You’re not so bad yourself, Shurley.”

“Yeah. Too bad we’re enemies. You’d make a pretty great friend.”

Dean crinkled his nose and looked away for a moment. “No chick-flick mo— _hic —_ moments.”

Gabe laughed. “Did you just hiccup?”

“I _hic_ did not!”

“Awwww. That’s kind of adorable.”

Dean bit firmly down on the pencil again, dead set on stifling his hiccups. “I’m not _hic_ adowabwe.”

“You absolutely are. But okay, I get it. Big bad Dean Winchester can’t be seen being cute. Might ruin that street cred you fought so hard to build.” Gabe winked at him.

“Ket bent.”

“Get bent over what?”

Dean scowled and flipped off the camera, to which Gabriel only chuckled.

“Other than the interview, my morning has been pretty boring until now. Just been stuck inside with nothing but all the shows I’ve already watched to keep me company,” Gabe continued as if nothing had happened. “Now some guy with an oral fixation is video chatting with me, so that’s fun. My mind definitely isn’t going anywhere.”

Dean grinned and did his best not to laugh. “Youw mind packed up and moved away a wong time ako.”

“I’ll have you know I’m very smart! Just… not in the same ways as you.”

He rolled his eyes and tossed the pencil away, hiccups finally gone. “I know you’re smart, Gabriel. You don’t have to convince me of that.”

“Well… good.” Gabe looked away from the camera, face red. “Glad you know that.”

“You’re a real catch, I promise,” Dean mumbled, scrolling down to the next page of script. “Any girl would be lucky.”

“Ah yes… girls. That’s definitely all I like.”

Dean’s eyes flicked over to the video chat. “Trying to tell me something, Shurley?”

“Definitely not.”

Dean weighed his options before grabbing his webcam and doing a full 180 spin. “Now?”

Gabe took in the array of pride flags on Dean’s walls with growing amazement. “Oh. Wow. Do _you_ need to tell _me_ something?”

“I’m the straightest man you’ve ever met.” He gestured to the wall of rainbow. “Clearly.”

“I mean…”

“My actual serious dream come true was working on _Dr. Sexy MD._ Because I’m absolutely, 100% straight.” He held up one finger. _“In fact,_ I’m so straight I have the bi pride flag tattooed on me somewhere.”

“Well I’ve already seen your torso and your legs so my guess is ass.”

“Good work, detective.” He spun around again, putting his webcam back. “That’s just how we straight people do.”

“I’m impressed with how easily you have entrusted me with this information.” Gabe put his arms behind his head. “How do you know I won’t use it for my own nefarious purposes?”

“Nefarious purposes? My darling Gabriel, I already told you. I’m straight.”

Gabe couldn’t stop his laughter. “Well, in that case, I guess I can tell you that I’m straight, too.”

“Oh, I know,” Dean said, suddenly serious. “I mean, no _gay_ man would ever promise to jack off in another man’s clothes.”

“Oh, get _fucked,”_ Gabe managed between his laughs. “You hesitated when I asked you! You _already did!”_

“This is _propaganda_ and I won’t stand for it!”

“You know what’s propaganda? Your shirt smells like a cozy fire. What the fuck, right? How did you even _manage_ that?!”

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Tons of accidental explosions! Why the hell do _you_ smell like candied apples and sweet tarts?”

“Uh, _excuse you_ I _always_ smell delectable. Willy Wonka fashioned me by _hand.”_

“Then you should probably get a restraining order.”

Gabe tried to hold his laughter in but ultimately failed, tears streaming down his face. “At least when there’s a spark in _my_ eye it isn’t literal!”

“I’ll have you know I only _rarely_ catch on fire anymore!”

“Ah yes! Now you make explosions in the yards of poor, defenseless sweet men!”

 _“Defenseless?_ ‘Scuse you, buster, but I have stared at your arms at _length_ and you are _far_ from defenseless!”

“At length, huh? I _knew_ I felt someone watching me when I did that thirty day pull-up challenge in my front yard.”

“It was your _front yard._ You were _begging_ me to look at you!”

“Not you _specifically,_ though I am happy it _was_ you.”

“Oh, who did you want staring then? Garth? You want him to kiss you with his little puppet hands?”

Gabriel was lost in another fit of giggles. “If he jacked someone off, would it be a handjob or a blowjob?”

Dean laid his head on his desk, shoulders shaking. “Depends on if he’s using his voice or his puppet’s voice!” He sat back up, wiping the tears from his face. “You gotta visit him sometime. He makes the _best_ cookies.”

“Better than your weed ones?”

“I… Yeah, I _majorly_ got the proportions wrong on that one.”

“No kidding. You’re a pretty sexy dancer when you’re high, just so ya know.”

“Pssh. I’m a sexy dancer even when I’m _not_ high.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure that _sober_ you stands on the roof of your car and wears my clothes. Seems _right_ up your alley.”

Dean groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “Please tell me I did not do that.”

“Oh, you did. Lots of hip swaying and arm movements. But don’t worry, it was perfectly PG. Unfortunately.”

He chuckled. “What? You wanna see me strip or something?”

“Are you kidding? It’s hard for you to _not_ strip in front of me, if the number of times I’ve seen your chest is anything to go by.”

 _“My_ chest? I distinctly remember a certain someone coming to my lawn and stripping in _front of my window.”_

“Yeah, and you choked on your coffee. It was a good time.”

“I was startled!”

“You liked it.”

“I… maybe.” Dean glanced back at his computer and sighed. “Ugh. Dude, my boss is calling. I’ve gotta go.”

“Give him a big ol’ kiss for me.”

“Absolutely not.” He grinned at Gabriel, who was grinning right back. “See ya tomorrow, Gabe.”

“Oh, are we past the Shurley stuff now? Can I call you Dean?”

“You’ve _been_ calling me Dean. Don’t act like you follow my rules.”

“You got me pegged.” Gabe let that sentence hang for a moment. “See ya tomorrow, Dean.”

Gabe hung up and Dean stared at where his picture was for a moment, or two, until the ring of the incoming call made him jump.

That… hadn’t been terrible.

—

Gabe dragged a hand over his face, trying to quell his smile. That was unexpected and… nice.

He glanced at his computer, to the three incoming calls he had already missed from work while talking with Dean.

He put one hand against his stomach, scowling at himself.

Butterflies sucked.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it not midnight for once when i post? wild
> 
> also extra thanks to nerdykai for the show name!!!

Castiel sat out in the front lawn, book in one hand and apple in another. He glanced up occasionally, watching Dean set up tables in his and Gabriel’s yards, walking back and forth. He kept to the sidewalk, unwilling to risk Cas’s wrath.

Dean looked up and saw him watching him. “Heya.”

“Hi. I’m assuming this is for the show?”

“Uh, yeah! Yeah, it is. I decided it’s gonna be called E=MC Queered.”

“Nice.” Cas marked his place in his book before setting it aside. “How is this going to work?”

“Well. I’ve got two cameras set up at the same height. One in front of me, one in front of Gabe. I set them up so the screens show the other’s feed. And we’ve got earpieces — sanitized — so we can hear each other without having to yell. I’ll explain what’s happening and give him the instructions, and he’ll carry out the experiment.”

“Ah, so the risk of my brother exploding is relatively high, then.”

Dean grinned at him. “Not yet. We’re starting with basic stuff. Maybe later on.”

Castiel rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “If you could only keep one half of Gabriel, which half would you want?”

“Hmm. Is he right or left handed?”

“I meant top half or bottom half, Dean.”

“Dammit. Uh, top half.”

“Huh. I thought you’d go for bottom half.”

“I’m not gonna dignify that with a response.” Dean finished his set up and admired his handiwork. “Where is your brother, anyway?”

“Oh! Yes. He wanted me to inform you to ‘go ahead and start filming’ and that he’d be out soon.”

“Um. Okay.” Dean pressed a button on his remote, starting both cameras simultaneously. It would make his job easier in the long run. “I guess I’ll do the intro then?” He cleared his throat and turned towards his camera, leaning on his table. “Hey everyone! I’m Dean Winchester, and this is E = MC Queered. Why that name? Because this is a science show, and we support all of you.” He felt his anxiety calming as he got into the swing of things. “I’m your host. I have a lovely assistant, but it seems he’s late.”

“Aw, did you call me lovely?”

Dean turned to look towards Gabriel’s yard and stopped cold.

Gabe trotted merrily up to his own camera and gave it a big wave. “Hey guys! I’m Gabriel Shurley, but you can call me Gabe. I’m new to all this stuff, too, so we can learn it together!” He busied himself putting his earpiece in. “There, now I can hear Dean better!”

Dean was staring. He was really trying _not_ to stare, but he was staring.

Gabe waved at Dean. “Hey there, bucko. You doing alright?”

“You… You look good.”

Gabriel raised his eyebrows in surprise. “What? No ‘you can’t wear a dress on my show, Shurley’? No ‘that lipstick looks tacky’?”

“You’ve… got a Miss Frizzle vibe going on. I dig it.”

Gabriel looked down at the dress he had custom made and shipped, a bouncy thing that ended above his knees and was covered in mini volcanoes, spewing red lava that matched his lips. “I’ll be honest, I was expecting to get under your skin.”

“You uh… You _hic_ did. You did.”

“So you _are_ mad?”

“No I _hic_ I’m just _hic_ I— dammit!” Dean took in a deep breath and held it in an attempt to rid himself of his hiccups.

“You okay over there, Winchester? You’re not getting chronic hiccups, are you?”

Dean released his breath. “I’m good. I’m fine. I’ll edit out the curse later.”

Gabriel examined him curiously. “I can go change if you’d like.”

“No!” Dean winced at himself. “I mean, that’s not necessary. You look fine.”

Charlie came out and sat beside Castiel, offering him a smoothie to match her own. He graciously accepted.

Dean shook himself for a moment before turning back to the camera. “That’s Gabriel. He’s gonna help us with our experiments. Gabe, did you bring the baking soda and vinegar?”

Gabriel pulled a box and a bottle out from under the table. “I sure did. As well as the raddest volcano you’ve ever seen.” He plopped his paper mâché masterpiece on the table.

“Dude, that looks pretty epic.”

“I _told_ you I was a paper mâché master.” Gabe looked pointedly at the camera. “Dean never listens to me.”

“Yes I do! I listen to everything you say!”

“I’m not _that_ interesting of a person, Dean.”

“You are to me!”

They both stared down each other, faces red.

“A-anyway!” Dean said, clapping. “Let’s go ahead with the experiment, I guess?”

“Aren’t you gonna explain how it works?”

“I’ll do it as you do the experiment. Put in the baking soda. And the food coloring. And put on your goggles.”

Gabriel popped open the box and began pouring baking soda into the middle of the volcano.

“So that’s baking soda, also known as sodium bicarbonate. It’s a base. Vinegar, or acetic acid, is an acid, duh. When they mix they form carbonic acid, which is very unstable. In fact, when it happens — Gabe go ahead and pour the vinegar — the carbonic acid instantly breaks apart into water and carbon dioxide. It happens so quickly that—“ He motioned towards Gabriel.

Gabe’s eyes lit up as the volcano erupted, red spilling down the sides of his perfectly crafted vessel.

“— it creates a fizzing reaction, resulting in the volcano you see here. The food coloring was just for fun.”

Gabriel threw his hands in the air dramatically. “It’s _aliiiiiiiive!”_

Dean looked back at his camera. “It’s not alive. It’s just chemicals.”

“Aren’t _we_ just chemicals?”

Dean pointed at Gabe. “Another time. Any questions?”

Gabe pondered the mess in front of him, still spewing onto the table, spilling onto the ground. “Why?”

“So if there’s anything you don’t understand, I could clear it up—“

“No, I mean, why does it bother?”

“I’m… not following.”

“The baking soda and vinegar form… carbonic acid, right? But that’s super unstable and immediately breaks apart anyway. So why does it bother forming carbonic acid? Isn’t chemistry and nature and science all about finding the most efficient ways to do things?”

“That’s… an excellent question. For the sake of this show, I’ll say that sometimes it’s just _cooler_ for it to happen this way. But uh. The real answer is that the chemicals are drawn into that configuration whether it’s stable or not. And then, once there, they realize how unstable it really is, and they divide into water and carbon dioxide, which are both _extremely_ stable. It’s more of an intermediate step to get to the final destination of stability.”

“Huh. Okay.” He pointed to his volcano. “What if I did this in a closed bottle?”

“It would explode. Don’t do that.”

“You’re no fun.” Gabe watched with mild fascination as the reaction finally stopped. “I’ve seen people clean their drains this way.”

“Yeah, the fizz will break down some pretty gunky stuff. It’s a good thing to keep handy.”

“Is this the same as coke and mentos?”

“Same principle, yeah.”

Gabe pondered for more questions to ask. “Do you like my dress? It’s got volcanoes on it,” he finally said, delving right back into teasing.

“It’s… nice.”

“Nice? I get a dress _specifically_ for this and all I get is a _nice?”_

Dean looked to the sky and mentally cursed himself for what he was about to say. “Second law.”

“The right to bear arms?”

“Thermodynamics. The entropy of a system can never decrease, only remain constant or increase. Entropy being chaos, basically.”

“Not seeing how this relates to my astounding dress.”

“For example,” Dean barreled on, still looking up, “you and I are a system. The amount of chaos between us cannot ever decrease. It can only remain constant or increase. Our past is still there, so even if we stopped being chaotic right this very moment, our overall chaos levels would remain constant.”

Gabe crossed his arms, frowning.

“But we are increasing. I know this, because it seems every time I look over at you, I go a little bit more insane.” Dean finally peeked his way. “You look nice, Gabriel.”

Gabe looked… stricken.

“Well, I guess that concludes this ridiculously short segment. Um, leave any questions or comments down below and we’ll try to answer them next episode. Until then, science away.” He pressed the button on the remote that stopped the cameras and refused to look Gabriel’s way. “Well, thanks for being here. See you sometime next week.”

“Hold it. You just give me the best compliment of my _life_ and expect to just walk away? No.”

Dean snorted. “If that was the best compliment you’ve ever gotten, you need better suitors.”

“Suitors? What is this, the 1800s?” He saw Dean’s face. “Dude. It’s not weird. It just caught me off-guard. It was very thoughtful.”

“Yeah well…” he shrugged. “The look suits you.”

“There are breezes places I’m not used to breezes being.”

Dean snorted, finally meeting his eyes. “That’s what happens, man.”

“As cute as I may be right now — and that is, as cute as a goddamn button — I think I’m gonna go change into pajama pants and lounge around.”

“Just pajama pants?”

Gabe smirked. “And your shirt. It looks good on me.”

“Band shirts look good on everyone.”

“So does lipstick.” Gabe shrugged nonchalantly, something mischievous in his eyes. “Bet mine would look _great_ on you. All over.”

“… I’m gonna play my music extra loud tonight, asshole.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. Besides,” Gabriel rubbed one hand violently across his mouth, “it doesn’t come off anyway.”

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to find something to do with his hands.

“Also, let me edit the video. I already know you’re gonna be hopeless when it comes to that stuff.”

“I…” Dean trailed off. “You’re right. Go for it.”

“Okay. I’m about to go inside for a bit, so if you wanted to stare at my ass in this dress, now is your chance.” Gabe winked at him and went inside his house, briefly turning back to blow a kiss at Dean’s lava-red face.

—

Gabe wound up keeping most of the footage, only dubbing out the curse word Dean had let slip. It amused him, the way he could pinpoint the _exact_ moment Dean caught sight of him. The blushing, the flustered compliments, the hiccuping… it was all too cute.

After a final precursory scan, he sent it off to Dean to approve and waited.

—

Sam and Jess piled on their couch, Dean and Gabe’s video loaded up onto their TV.

Jess had one hand on her swollen belly. “That’s your Uncle Dean,” she whispered to it.

Sam had one arm around her as he hit play, and they both chuckled at Dean’s awkward intro. It wasn’t the first time they had seen Gabe. They had seen him in passing a few times when they’d go down to visit Dean. But it was _definitely_ the first time they had seen him all dolled up.

“He’s cute,” Jess told Sam, grinning. “I see why their neighborhood ships them.”

“Oh yeah, this is posted all over that Facebook group.”

They both watched Dean’s frozen face, all the way through when Dean started hiccuping.

Sam’s eyes widened, and suddenly he was laughing maniacally.

“You good?” Jess asked.

“Oh, oh fuck babe. I gotta find an old home video. Gabriel is gonna get a _kick_ out of this.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN SIX DAYS SINCE I UPDATED WTF EVEN IS TIME  
> uhhh hope this makes up for it lol

“Game night.”

Castiel looked up from the book he was reading. “What?”

“Let’s host a game night. You, me, and the two idiots.” Charlie spread her hands, head tilted back. “We can stream a multiplayer game and they can join. Also: booze.”

“… Are there booze rules or just: booze?”

She clicked her tongue. “Booze rules.”

“Losers take a shot?”

“I was thinking _winners_ take a shot. Everyone _but_ last place each round takes a shot. Then we can try to sabotage each other.”

Castiel smirked. “I like your thinking. I’ll invite Gabriel if you’ll invite Dean.” He paused. “And if we want to post a viewing link in the Facebook group then…”

She opened her laptop. “Oh, already on it.”

—

Dean answered his phone and put it on speaker, going right back to scrolling. “Hey Charlie.”

“Hey Dean. What’s up?”

“I can’t stop scrolling.”

She snorted. “Facebook?”

“Wish.”

“Oh. Oh no. Be careful what you buy on there.”

He scrolled more, eyes wide. “I don’t even… I don’t need _any_ of this. But I want all of it.”

“Does it have you pegged yet?”

“It thinks I’m a soccer mom. Who has some weird kinks.”

“So yes. How much stuff is in your cart right now?”

“… A lot.” He opened his cart and winced at himself. “To be fair, it’s not all for me. I found a really cute little garden statue I thought Cas might like.”

“You big softie.”

“And a tortilla blanket I’ve been toying with the idea of getting for Gabriel. But that’s weird, right? We’re not friends.”

“But he would love that.”

“He would,” Dean confirmed, chewing on his bottom lip. “Maybe I’ll get it and if the time is right I’ll give it to him.”

“You know, you _could_ always like, sneak little presents onto his front porch in the dead of night. Secret admirer type deal.”

“I’m not an admirer. I just… you _can’t_ tell me that wouldn’t make his entire month.”

“He would never shut up about it.”

Dean nodded to himself. “Yeah, I’m getting it for him. He can have it if he acts right.”

“Or if you put it on his porch.”

“Or if I put it on his porch, right.”

Charlie grinned. “You wanna do game night with us?”

Dean checked out and went immediately back to scrolling. “Us who?”

“Me, Cas, and Gabe.”

“What sort of games?”

“Online multiplayer ones. Cas and I will host, and you two will just join.”

“Like, RPGs?”

“More like Cards.”

“Gotcha.” He added a soup ladle that looked like the Loch Ness monster to his cart. “Yeah sure, I’m down. What time?”

“Eight tonight. Be sure to have booze nearby.”

“Always, Charles. Constantly.”

“Cool. See you tonight, have fun shopping for your crush.” She hung up before Dean could offer a rebuttal.

He rolled his eyes and frowned as a corgi tea strainer popped up. Gabe would _really_ love that…

—

“Why.”

“It will be fun,” Castiel pleaded.

“No offense Cassie, but I don’t think I’ll be into whatever nerd games you and Computer Gal over there come up with.” Gabriel was crouching on top of the fence somewhat uncomfortably.

Cas held up three fingers. “Cards Against Humanity, booze, and Dean,” he rattled off.

Gabe almost fell over backwards. “Count me the _fuck_ in!”

—

When eight o’clock hit, Charlie was grinning into the camera at the other three faces.

“Hey guys!”

Dean raised an already-full glass to her. “Howdy.”

Gabe stuck his tongue out at them, and Castiel cleared his throat. “The first drinking rule is that everyone must take two shots immediately. Then we can start the game.”

Dean laughed and took two deep swallows of whiskey while the others quickly followed suit, Gabriel with flavored vodka and Charlie and Cas with rum.

Charlie shook her head, grinning. “Alright, this is Cards Against Humanity Except Every White Card Is Blank. So grab a pen and paper. The Czar will read out a black card and you have to think up your own answer. After the first round we’ll explain the drinking rules because that’s more fun.” She picked up the black deck and held it out to Castiel.

“What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?” he read aloud stoically.

Gabriel was already giggling as he uncapped his Sharpie, and Dean’s face was flushed with contained laughter. Charlie hid her notebook from Castiel’s prying eyes.

Gabe’s head shot up. “Hey wait! This isn’t anonymous at all!”

“Honor system!” Charlie called back, ending her entry with a flourish. “Ready.”

“Same,” Dean said, leaning back smugly.

“Who reads first?” Gabe asked, holding up his paper.

Cas rubbed his chin in fake thought. “I think I shall allow… Charlie to go first.”

She pumped her fist in the air. “Hell yeah!”

He hid his smirk. “Okay. Charlie. What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?”

“Satan’s moist asscheeks.”

Cas put a hand over his mouth to hide his grin. “Oh, you ass. I hate that word. Moist.” He turned to Gabriel. “You. What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?”

Gabe turned his paper around. “Hearing Castiel say the word ‘orgy’.”

Dean threw his head back and laughed as Cas rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what I expected. Dean?”

“Aw, you’re not gonna say it again?” Dean teased.

“What brought the orgy to a grinding halt,” Cas deadpanned.

Dean flipped his page around. “Gabriel.”

Charlie was in hysterics as Gabriel vehemently denied that he would _ever_ stop an orgy.

“You’d stop it with your _face,_ dumbass,” Dean teased, his head feeling a bit fuzzy already.

Castiel’s eyes were scrunched with mirth as he pointed to Dean. “You win. Charlie was second.”

“Oh!” Dean said, throwing his hands up. “Take _shots,_ motherfuckers!”

Charlie grinned at him. “Actually,” she began, “the rules tonight are that the _winners_ take shots.”

Dean said, “What?!” at the same time that Gabriel threw his arms up in victory.

“But to keep things fun, there’s a second rule where you _still_ have to try to win. If your card fails to make anyone so much as chuckle, that’s two immediate shots.”

“You’re on,” Gabriel said, hitting his desk lightly. “I’m gonna be the best loser you’ve _ever_ seen!”

Dean grinned at him. “Well. You got the loser part right, anyway.”

 _“YoU gOt ThE lOsEr pArT rIgHt_ shut the fuck up and _chug,_ Winchester!”

Charlie and Dean took a gulp of their _less_ alcoholic drinks because fuck only having eight rounds until everyone was drunk. This game night was going to _last._

Charles held out her hand, breathing through her teeth. “Card me, bitch.”

Cas put a black card in her hand, which she immediately read out. “Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _blank_ _.”_

There were three pens hastily scribbling.

Charlie pointed at Dean. “What does Santa give the bad kids?”

“One less parent.”

 _“Jesus,_ Dean!” she said, already giggling. “Cas! What does Santa give the bad kids?”

“War flashbacks.”

She put one hand over her mouth, laughing silently as Dean fucking _lost_ it. “Gabe,” she managed to wheeze out. “What does Santa give the bad kids?”

Gabe flipped his page around. “A new sleep paralysis demon.”

Charlie threw her head back and howled with laughter as Dean tried to hide his own. “Dammit Gabe! You win! Dean is second. Drink up, bitches!”

“Fuck,” Dean giggled as he downed another gulp of his apple sour. “Me next!”

Cas held up a new black card to the camera.

“A successful job interview begins with a handshake and ends with what?”

He watched everyone scribbling, still giggling softly.

“Gabriel,” he began, “what does a successful job interview end with?”

“Assfull of cum.”

Dean’s face went red as he laughed loudly, hand to his forehead. “Ah, oh fuck, Charles. Charles, what does a successful job interview end with?”

She grinned as she flipped her paper. “Overstimulation.”

He hid his face in his hands as his shoulders shook with laughter. “Cas,” he half-begged, “Cas man, what does a successful job interview end with?”

He raised one eyebrow and flipped his page. “A job, you fucking psychos.”

All three of them _lost_ it, tears running down their cheeks as Cas tried and failed to not look pleased with himself.

“Cas wins, oh god,” Dean forced out between laughs. “Charles was second. Drink up. Fuck.”

Gabe was grinning broadly, head dizzy in the funnest way. “Hit me, baby!”

Cas rolled his eyes and turned a black card to the camera.

“How did I lose my virginity?”

Gabe laughed to himself as everyone wrote down their answers.

“Charlie! How did I lose my virginity?”

“You didn’t.”

Castiel laughed loudly as Gabriel flipped her off, grinning. “C’mon Deano, how did I lose my virginity?”

He flipped his paper, grinning. “Don’t worry; you’ll know when it happens.”

Charlie air-fived Dean as Gabriel put his head in his hands. “You’re both disqualified for having the same answer! Two shots while Cas reads his!”

Cas glanced down at his paper. “Unfortunately, I also wrote ‘You never lost it’, so…”

Gabe threw his hands up in mock offense. “Oh come on!”

Castiel shot him a wide grin. “I’m joking.” He flipped his paper around. “In the barn because you thought it wouldn’t echo for some god-forsaken reason.”

_“CAS!”_

Dean and Charlie were both crying laughing as Gabriel tried to hide his grin.

“You can’t just _out_ me like that!”

“I could hear you from the house. I have been waiting _years_ for this payback, so I shall enjoy it.” He lifted his glass and toasted Gabriel. “I win by default.” He took a large swig.

“I hate each and every one of you,” he informed them all.

Charlie reached for a black card, missed, and got it on the second try. “Okay okay okay,” she told them. “What’s the next Happy Meal toy?”

They all had matching grins on their faces as they wrote.

“Dean! What’s the next Happy Meal toy?”

“Dildos.”

Gabriel laughed and turned his around, where it also said, “Dildos!”

Cas cleared his throat and showed them all his page, which, also also, read, “Dildos.”

Charlie was lost to a giggle fit and motioned for them all to take two shots for their uncreativity.

Castiel reached shakily for a black card, grinning. “During sex, I like to think about what?”

After half a moment, all of them burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, pick another,” Gabriel said, waving his hand. “We’d all answer the exact same thing again.”

Castiel laughed with them as he pulled a different card. “I never truly understood _blank_ until I encountered _blank_. Make sure you do two.”

They wrote out their answers, all in varying degrees of laughter.

Cas turned the card to the camera. “It’s easier if you all read this full one. Charlie.”

She squinted at the screen. “Okay. I never truly understood murder until I encountered buffering videos.”

They all groaned in agreement. “Dean.”

“I never truly understood flirting until I encountered your brother.”

Castiel snorted as Gabriel’s face turned pink(er). “Gabe.”

Gabe turned his paper to face Cas and answered in some language neither Charlie nor Dean recognized.

Cas sighed heavily before grinning. “Dean wins. Gabe is second. I’m about to pass out, so shall we pick this up again tomorrow night?”

Dean and Gabe both downed the rest of their drinks. “Tomorrow!” Dean said, waving broadly.

Charlie turned off the feed and raised an eyebrow at Castiel. “What was that about?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “Gabe just asked if he could talk to Dean while they were both drunk and stupid.”

She whooped loudly and thrust her drink in the air. “To the lovebirds!” she called out before downing the rest.

—

Dean laid back on his bed and grinned, his head all woogedy and his mood light. He felt his cell phone buzz and took it out with a few tries. “Hello?”

“Deaaaannnn!” Gabriel exclaimed. “We should video chat. Uhhhh right now.”

“Yes!” Dean agreed, already stumbling towards his desktop setup a room over. “I’m gonna hang up here and call you there. Okay?”

“Okay,” Gabe confirmed, pulling up his laptop and plugging it in. “See you in a few.”

“See you in a few."


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmm changing the overall rating to mature just in case, Gabe and Dean get outta hand real quick
> 
> also I'm just gonna copypaste what I told my friends about this one:
> 
> this chapter should be titled "oh god that's too much alcohol, where are their brains, jfc they're going to hate themselves tomorrow, oh my god"  
> wait no "they had one brain cell and they fucking killed it"

“Winchester,” Gabe announced, face too close to the camera as he grinned. “I want to cordially invite you to uhhhh, to a super soaker battle. Uh right now!”

Dean laughed, head tipping back against his wall. “We just got on the call!”

“Immediately!” Gabe leaned back. “I’m gonna fill mine with vodka, let’s fucking go!”

Dean rolled his chair back, looking around the room. “Gimme ummm five minutes. Meet in your yard or mine?”

“My yard! Home field advantage!”

“I’m still gonna kick your ass,” Dean informed him, grinning as he hung up the video chat. He jogged over to his room and rifled around for his water gun, finally finding it buried under some camping equipment. He stumbled into his kitchen and raided his own stash, filling the soaker with whiskey before heading out his front door.

He kept his gun level, eyes open for any sign of movement in the dark. There was a warning splash against his hip and he dove behind a nearby bush.

“Quick, Winchester!” Gabe called out. “But not quick enough!”

Dean darted to Gabriel’s backyard, soaker aimed at where he had heard the noise.

Cold vodka hit his ass.

He yelped and spun around, immediately splashing Gabriel in the chest. Gabe laughed, pulling at his soaked shirt. “Not bad,” he teased.

Dean casually laid the gun against his shoulder. “What are the rules?”

“Ohhhhh, there are rules?” Gabe grinned at him. “What sort of rules are you thinking?”

“I hit you so I’m thinkiiiiiiiiing… mouth open.”

Gabe raised one eyebrow but complied. Dean shot a stream of whiskey at his neck and inched up until Gabe had taken at _least_ two shots.

“Hey,” Gabe said through his laughter, footing unsure. “I hit you, too.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dean stuck his tongue out and Gabriel’s aim wasn’t quite as good, but Dean still was coughing at the sharpness of the vodka. “What _is_ that?”

“Cotton candy flavored?”

“It’s an abomination is what it is,” Dean deadpanned, not reacting quickly enough as Gabriel shot his leg.

Gabe grinned at him, face all pink and eyes unfocused but bright. “Thought you were gonna beat my ass at this? I’mmmmm gonna need more vodka.” He attempted a shot at Dean’s mouth, though most of it hit chin and Dean had to crouch.

“I’m gonna— I’m not gonna remember _any_ of this tomorrow,” Dean announced, looking around for a good shield. He dove for a chair, which really didn’t provide much cover.

Gabriel slowly circled him, looking for an opening. “Remember to set out some Tylenol-ol for yourself tonight.”

“Won’t remember. But sports drinks will work, too.” He jumped up and hit Gabriel in the chest again.

Gabe rolled his eyes and let his mouth fall open. His eyes fell on Dean’s drenched pants as his muddled brain made a very terrible decision. He coughed briefly, then pointed. “Hey. New rules.”

“Yeah?”

“Strip poker rules.” Gabe winked at him. “I wanna see that tattoo.”

“We’re in a _neighborhood.”_

Gabe pointed to his own fence. “As long as we’re behind the house, um no one can see us. So.” He pulled his own soaked shirt off. “Strip, Winchester!”

Dean looked down at himself then back to Gabe, and Gabe felt what little remained of his Sober Self realize that maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

But then Dean took off his pants and this was the best idea he had ever had.

Gabe grabbed his own water gun tighter. “Good luck getting _these_ pants off, bucko!”

“Won’t need it,” Dean smirked, charging with his water gun.

Gabriel ran the other way, both still somehow keeping six feet between themselves.

Though, in a water gun battle, that wasn’t much.

Gabe dove for cover right as Dean splashed him in the ass.

He sighed, turning over to face the stars. “Twas inevitable,” he decided, raising his water gun to aim at Dean’s chest.

Their eyes met, and Dean made no move to run as Gabe shot him.

They stared just a moment longer before Gabe finally licked his lips. “Shirt off, Winchester.”

“Pants off, Shurley.”

“Not until I see those abs of yours.”

“Not until I see those legs of yours.”

Gabe laughed low and shimmied out of his pants, still laying on the grass. “Guess we’re lucky we’re both um wearing boxers, huh?”

Dean took off his shirt and, with just a moment’s hesitation, shot Gabe in the boxers.

Everything felt still, almost paused.

“Off?” he suggested.

Gabriel took a deep breath in. He wasn’t thinking straight in any sense of the word. Which is why he lifted his gun and returned the favor. “Show me that tattoo.”

Dean took a nervous breath. “I hate that I’m not gonna — gonna remember this in the morning,” he told Gabe before kicking his boxers off. “It’s uh… It’s on my— yeah.” He turned around, ass on full display, with a bi flag taking up real estate on the left cheek.

Gabriel couldn’t actually remember what it was like to have coherent thoughts.

Dean looked back at him over his shoulder and Gabe briefly toyed with the idea that he had died from alcohol poisoning and this was actually Heaven.

“Your turn, dumbass,” Dean mumbled, face red.

“You look—“ Gabe spread his hands like that made it any clearer. “Ya know. Just. Wow. I’m. Wow. Okay. Um. I’m not um I’m not comfortable taking my boxers off now but you. You can. You can stand there as long as you like because I. Yes.”

Dean glared at him. “Dude, boxers off. _I_ did it.”

“Okay yeah sure but you didn’t have a naked fuckinnnnn’ supermodel in front of you.”

Dean narrowed his eyes and grabbed his own shirt, bringing it up to his face.

“Um. Whatcha doin there, ass? Dean! I meant Dean.”

Dean finished tying up his impromptu face mask. _“You’re_ taking your boxers off,” he warned before diving towards Gabriel. There was a flurry of limbs and strings of curses before Dean had successfully pinned Gabriel, knees bracketing his hips. “Last chance before I just — do it for you.”

“You’re uh—“ Gabe tried to swallow but his mouth was dry. “You’re already _doing_ it for me.”

Dean raised an eyebrow and looked down Gabriel’s body before understanding dawned in his eyes. “Ohhhh,” he said, looking back to Gabe. “You _like_ this.”

“You’re. You’re uh. You’re really fucking hot dude. Like, I’m sorry but… I’m… I’m only human.”

There was something curious and dark in Dean’s eyes before he leaned down to grind briefly against Gabriel.

Gabe cursed, hands grabbing harder at Dean’s own. “You motherfucker,” he breathed, head spinning.

“Last warning,” Dean whispered. “This could be waaaaaaaay more fun without those boxers on.”

Gabriel honestly hated having morals. He did. Especially at moments like these, when a naked and willing Dean Winchester was hellbent on riding him — or being ridden. “We’re — we’re fucking drunk,” Gabe heard himself say.

“Mhmm,” Dean hummed quietly as those traitorous hips met Gabriel’s own again. Their hips could be friends, hang out on the weekends, learn to do the tango—

No. No.

“We… can’t.” Gabe thought maybe he should’ve just drank the rest of his super soaker in an attempt to drown the voice of reason in his head.

Dean released his hands, only for them to trail down Gabe’s body. He sat back on Gabe’s legs, thumbs hooked under his boxers. “We can’t take your boxers off?”

Gabe squinted at him, dizzy.

Dean finally sighed. “Okay. Yes. You’re right. But I still want these off because it’s not _fair_ if I’m the only naked one.”

“You… agreed quickly,” he noted, lifting his hips enough for Dean to slide his boxers off.

“I wanna remember something like that.” Dean’s eyes were hooded, lips parted.

“Yeah… me, too,” Gabe said, not entirely aware of his own words.

“Here’s an idea,” Dean began, raising his arms to stretch and _hoo boy_ that wasn’t fair either. “I get to give youuuuuu a few hickeys. To remember me by.”

Gabriel smirked. “Define a few.”

“A little trail, from here,” Dean placed one finger on his hip, “to here.” He drug his finger down and in, ending on the inside of Gabe’s thigh.

“You’re the actual devil, aren’t you.”

Dean shot him a grin before pushing his mask aside, leaning down, and pressing a gentle kiss to his hip. “Tell me about the— the thing, we talked about in Cards? With your virginity.”

Gabe clenched his fists to keep himself from reaching out. “I lost my virginity in a, in a barn.”

Dean bit at the spot. “I can’t imagine you _anywhere_ with a barn.” He sucked hard and Gabe muffled a curse.

“Well, friendly reminder that Cassie Wassie is my brother, so…”

He admired his handiwork before scooting a little farther down and repeating the process. “Yeah, that tracks. Were you like a, like a farm boy?”

“As you wish,” Gabe mumbled. “Well, Princess, I’ll have you know I definitely was.”

Dean looked up at him, tongue pressed against flesh. “Why?”

“My dad was a — fuck — one of those guys who did the — the thing where you support yourself off the land and _Jesus_ it is hard to think.”

“You ain’t gotta call me Jesus,” Dean responded, winking before scooting down and a little bit in, pressing his open mouth against Gabriel’s thigh. _“You_ taste like whiskey.”

“Yeah well _someone_ kept shooting me with a fuckin’, a damned water gun of it.” Gabriel’s hands were in Dean’s hair before he could think better of it. “I uh… I snuck this girl um, Abby, maybe? Home one night and ya know… couldn’t do it in the uh — in the house because there was no TV for background noise so we uh, we went to the barn.”

Dean’s mouth was on his inner thigh, his breath ghosting places Gabriel couldn’t decide if he wanted to forget or wanted to store away for rainy days. His fingers tightened in hair.

“Barns aren’t like… they’re not romantic or anything so reallllllllllly it would’ve been a bust except _she_ wasn’t a virgin and she knew what she was doing.”

Dean’s teeth scraped at his skin and Gabe felt goosebumps form across his body.

“And it was — it was great, and I don’t think it was just because it was my first time either because it was — _holy fuck Dean_ — it was pretty epic. It was good. I didn’t know untillllll — _mmph_ — until tonight that it wasn’t as uhh secret as I thought it was.”

“Hold still,” Dean teased softly.

“Can’t,” Gabe responded, eyes squeezed shut tightly. “Turns out I’m suuuuuper into this.”

He felt Dean’s grin against his thigh before Dean’s tongue ran back up the stinging trail to his hip. “All done.”

Gabe released every muscle he hadn’t been aware he was tensing. “Fuck, okay. That was… something to think about later.” He gathered himself and flipped them, pinning Dean down. “You stay.”

Gabriel ran drunkenly into his house for just a moment before running back out and crouching over Dean. “Flip.”

Dean raised one eyebrow but did as commanded, belly to the grass.

Gabriel uncapped his Sharpie and wrote, large and with a flourish, _Gabriel was here_ across Dean’s right ass cheek. After a moment, he leaned down and gently bit at Dean’s tattoo.

“Hey!” Dean exclaimed in surprise, craning his head back to see Gabe grinning wide.

“Favor almost returned. Relaaaaax.” He placed a chaste kiss to the tattoo before setting about leaving a hickey right above where Dean’s pant line would be.

Dean was practically purring at the attention, content to just lay there. “Remind me why we don’t jussssst fuckin’, just do this all the time,” he slurred.

“Enemies.”

“Ah, right. Right. Damn shame.”

Gabriel took the opportunity to grab Dean’s ass with both hands. “Better not fall asleep in my yard. Sober You would kill you. Orrrr me.”

“Sober Me can uh suck a dick.”

“Mm, sounds more like Drunk You.”

Dean flopped out a tired hand. “Hand me my clothes,” he said into the grass.

Gabe tossed him his own. “Take mine instead. I’m taking yours.”

“Mkay.” Dean pulled on the clothes, stopping a few times to yawn. “I’ll give you this shirt ummm later. Later. We gotta shower tonight.”

“Or we could just spray ourselves down with alcohol again.”

Dean flopped back on the ground, eyes closed. “Spray me, baby.”

Gabe coated him in vodka which, pretty much, was as good as any hand sanitizer. Dean followed suit with the whiskey. “I smell like, like an alcoholic," Gabe said absently.

“You _look_ like an alcoholic.” Dean tossed him his sodden shirt.

Gabe snorted, leaning heavily on his door. “Night, Winchester,” he yawned out. “Maybe one of us will remember this.”

Dean stumbled up and leaned heavily on the fence. “Tell Sober You I said hey. Night.”

Gabe watched Dean curiously. “Hey. For the record. If you, y’know, if you ever wanna stop being enemies, I do um, I do make a pretty good friend.”

“Aw, Gabey.” Dean flashed him a grin. “I can’t flirt with my friends.”

“I make a pretty good boyfriend, too.”

Something twinkled in Dean’s eyes. “Goodnight, Gabriel,” he said with an air of finality.

“Goodnight, Dean.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all knew a chapter like this was coming don't lie to me

Gabriel woke up and immediately wished he hadn’t.

“Oh fucking—“ he began, only to cut himself off as he quickly rolled out of bed and over to the toilet.

He threw up and rested his forehead against the toilet seat, breathing heavily. “Why the fuck do I smell like whiskey,” he grumbled before sniffing at his shirt and retching again.

He threw the shirt off without a second thought and brushed his teeth, head throbbing.

He stumbled to his kitchen and took two Tylenol, then shrugged and took another before heading back to his bathroom.

He turned his bath on, letting the water get scalding before he plugged up the drain and took off his pants, eyes closed against his headache.

He slipped into the water, phone within reach, and willed his brain to have mercy on him.

This was all Winchester’s fault, he was sure.

Winchester. With his perfect hair and his tan chest and his bowed legs and — fuck.

Normally, Gabe would just fuck all the tension out. That was his game plan, his MO. But with the damned virus going around, he was forced to sit through his urges as Winchester got flirtier by the day. Which was unfair. He really just needed _one_ good session, one pants-around-his-ankles, mouth-permanently-open session with the guy. Then they could both get the hell on with their lives. And maybe in five or so years, they could do it again. For old time’s sake.

But, no. The bastard virus had to come around and send the tension fucking _skyrocketing._ Gabe was sure if they spent more than five minutes closer than six feet to each other, things would get really porny _really_ quickly.

And, oh, he _wanted_ that.

Like, damn. Fuck the poets who talked about aching as if it were some romantic thing. Aching for love or aching for acceptance. Gabe ached to get his dick wet.

He never thought he was Cas, in regards to the whole _romance_ thing. But he had always thought maybe Cas had the right idea.

And speaking of Cas…

Gabe swiped up on the call. “Stop fucking calling me,” he groaned, eyes shut and one hand on his forehead.

“Good morning to you as well, o most pleasant of humans.”

“Get fucked.”

“Yes, I love you, too. How are you feeling?”

“Why was I allowed to drink so much.”

“You did not. You were an average level of drunk when we signed off. Though, you _did_ speak to me in Enochian, so perhaps you were a bit farther along than I anticipated.” Cas tapped on his chin, which Gabriel could not see. “I believe you used the words ‘ethereal’ and ‘male’ instead of Dean’s name.”

“I’m… _so_ glad it’s a dead language.”

“I’d imagine so. You said you wanted to talk to Dean, and then I did not hear from you until now. I called to ask how it went.”

Gabriel opened his eyes and looked over to where the phone sat on the closed toilet lid. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know as in…?”

“As in I literally do not remember anything past saying goodbye to you.”

“Oh. No clues?”

“I mean, I smelled like whiskey when I woke up.” Gabe looked over to the offending shirt and pants, and had to do a double-take. “Wait, those aren’t my clothes.”

“Are they Dean’s?”

“No, they’re the Prime Minister of Turkey’s— _yes_ they’re Dean’s!” Gabe scowled at them. “Why do I have them?”

“Perhaps the talk went well?”

“Oh my god is he in my house somewhere?! Did we fuck last night?!”

“I haven’t seen him all morning, and all his lights are still off.”

Gabe dried his hands on a towel and grabbed his phone. “Wait, no, I have a text from him from last night. Says ‘thanks for the shirt’ with a… winking kissy face.”

“Is that the text version of third base or…?”

Gabe snorted despite himself. “Well if we didn’t fuck, then I have no idea how we swapped clothes. Unless we just tossed them over the fences again. Drunk.” He frowned and stood up, grabbing a towel to dry off with. “I’m gonna go look for more clues. Call you back later.”

“Sounds like a plan, Blue.”

Gabriel hung up and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He actually just needed something to eat, and _then_ he could look for clues. He walked to the bathroom door and stopped.

“Huh.” he said, entirely to himself.

He walked backwards until he was in front of the mirror again, spinning quickly to face it. Water droplets still rolled lazily down his body, over the dark red line of bruising that went from hip to inner thigh.

“Those are hickeys,” he informed himself, from years of experience. “I fucked Dean Winchester.”

—

“You’re joking.”

Gabriel shrugged, pulling the side of his shorts back up. “I’m not.”

Charlie lowered her sunglasses at him, eyebrows raised. “This is why we shouldn’t leave you two unsupervised.”

“I suppose the evidence is all circumstantial, though pretty damning,” Castiel said absently, tilling a small spot for a flower bed.

“I mean, is there _another_ person I could’ve done the dirty with last night?”

Cas pointed his hoe at Gabe. “We have no proof you two had sex at all. It is entirely possible you merely… _almost_ had sex.”

“Ah, Cassie. The voice of reason.” Gabe tapped his chin. “I _could_ check my security cameras, I guess.”

Charlie laughed. “Dude. How have you not _already_ done that?”

Gabriel gestured furiously to his thigh. “I’ve been distracted!”

“You really are hopeless, aren’t you?”

“Hey, I resent—“ Gabriel suddenly cursed sharply, hand going to his neck. _“Motherfucker!”_ He pulled his hand back to see a single Nerf dart laying in it.

 _“GABRIEL_ **_FUCKING_ ** _SHURLEY!”_

Gabe exchanged a look with Castiel. “Huh. He sounds happy.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. “You need to run, Gabriel.”

Dean had already stomped over to Gabriel’s yard, though, and leveled his gun at Gabriel again.

“Heya, Winchester.”

“What the _FUCK_ is this?!” Dean screamed, face red as he turned to the side and pulled down the right back of his boxers.

Gabriel’s brain short-circuited. “Um, hot?” He squinted. “Wait is that my handwriting?”

“Oh, **_IS IT?!”_** Dean fired another Nerf dart, which Gabriel thankfully dodged. “What the **_FUCK_** HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, SHURLEY?!”

Gabriel quickly held his hands up in surrender. “I don’t know, okay?! I woke up this morning hungover as fuck with no memory of it!”

Dean pushed forward and Gabriel retreated back. “I woke up this morning in _your_ fucking clothes, hungover as _shit_ and smelling like cotton fucking candy! I was trying to pop my back when I caught sight of a goddamned _hickey,_ then I discovered your name across my ass like I’m some sort of cattle you decided to _brand!”_

Gabriel scowled. “Oh, you wanna talk about _branding?_ ” He pushed the right side of his shorts down, displaying half of the bruised trail.

Dean’s face went white.

“Oh yeah, it keeps going, too. All the way to,” he put one finger against his inner thigh, “here.

“There is _no way_ that I—“

“That what? That we both got drunk off our fucking rockers and decided to work out whatever the _fuck_ is going on between us? Or are you here to deny that, too?”

“There’s nothing to _deny,_ asshole! There is no _us!_ This—“ he gestured between them, “was _never_ supposed to happen!”

Something shifted in Gabriel’s eyes, like every bit of warmth had been sucked out of them. They were steel. “Okay.”

“I—“ Dean looked around, suddenly uncomfortable. “Okay. So…”

Gabriel waited.

Dean scowled. “So apologize.”

“I’m sorry.”

Dean shifted his weight. “Um. Okay. Okay, good.” He studied Gabriel. “Are you… Are you planning some awful stunt again?”

“No.”

Dean looked behind himself, like there was an airplane waiting to jump out at him. “Aren’t you gonna… fight me?”

“Hm? Oh, right. No. That’s actually how I flirt, and you said there was nothing between us. So we’re neighbors now. Nothing else.”

“Okay.” Dean took a few steps away, then turned back. “Are we okay?”

“There’s no we. There’s no us. Please get off my lawn.”

“Gabriel—“

**_“I SAID GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN!”_ **

Dean winced and jerked back, quickly backing off of Gabriel’s lawn.

Gabriel closed his eyes until he heard Dean’s door shut.

“Are you okay?” Castiel asked softly.

Gabe opened his eyes, expecting fire to burn in them, but found instead he felt… sad. “That hurt. Why did it hurt.”

“You just fought with a friend. That hurts.”

Gabe shook his head, frustrated. “It’s… different. It hurts… different.”

Charlie leaned beside Castiel, her eyes soft. “I know. Do I need to go beat him up?”

“I think I just had too much to drink last night.” Gabe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll… see you guys later.”

“Gabriel—“ Castiel reached his hand out before he could think better of it, just short of touching Gabe’s sleeve. “I… I’m here for you. If you need to talk. I may not understand first hand but… I care. I love you.”

Gabe gave him a wry smile. “I know. I love you, too, Cassie.”

Cas watched him go, arm hanging down on the other side of the fence.

Charlie sighed. “He’ll be okay.”

He frowned, resting his chin on his bicep. “He just had his heart broken, didn’t he?”

“Yeah. He did.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now taking brain cell donations for dean and gabriel

**_[Asshole] 3:18pm_ ** _hey, i’m sorry i was kinda an asshole_

**_[Asshole] 3:52pm_ ** _I even went through and uncapitalized those i’s to really get across how sincere I am_

**_[Asshole] 4:05pm_ ** _are you really not gonna talk to me?_

**_[Asshole] 4:10pm_ ** _Gabe I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…_

**_[Asshole] 4:12pm_ ** _if you don’t talk to me I’m gonna blast your least favorite music tonight_

**_[Asshole] 4:32pm_ ** _omg look outside Garth is doing a puppet show for his neighbor’s kid it’s so cute_

**_[Asshole] 4:35pm_ ** _did you look?_

**_[Asshole] 4:48pm_ ** _what are you even playing at?_

**_[Asshole] 5:05pm_ ** _wow I actually miss you this sucks_

**_[Asshole] 5:15pm_ ** _how dare you make yourself this prominent a figure in my life without my consent_

**_[Asshole] 5:25pm_ ** _I’ve sent too many texts and I don’t care_

**_[Asshole] 5:28pm_ ** _this is actually murdering me so if you could go ahead and send even just like, a middle finger that would be appreciated_

**_[Asshole] 5:34pm_ ** _I think it would actually kill me if I lost you dude_

**_[Asshole] 5:35pm_ ** _hey don’t read that last message_

**_[Asshole] 5:35pm_ ** _how do I delete a message off someone else’s phone, asking for a friend_

**_[Asshole] 5:36pm_ ** _fuck I meant to send that to Charlie_

**_[Asshole] 5:37pm_ ** _well now I’m glad you’re not reading my messages_

**_[Asshole] 5:48pm_ ** _…no I’m not_

_—_

Dean blasted Italian Pop on his speaker that night. He held the speaker on his shoulder, watching Gabriel’s house for any sign of destructive, chaotic energy.

Destructive, cute, funny, mischievous, heart-eyed energy. Energy Dean didn’t deserve.

It was actually Castiel who came out and glared Dean down, arms crossed.

Dean met his eyes and sighed, turning his speaker off in the middle of the song. “I fucked up, didn’t I.”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t— I just, I got so _frustrated_ and—“

“Save it. If you’re going to tell someone, tell him. I came out to say that song is awful.”

Dean played absently with a dial. “What does he like?”

Castiel’s eyes softened. “He likes swing.”

“What’s his favorite song?”

“In the Mood. Glenn Miller.”

Dean nodded and typed that into his phone.

Cas cleared his throat and gestured towards Gabriel’s lawn.

“I’m not a guy in a chick flick, Cas.”

“Sure. Anyway, you’ll want to stand by the side window there so he sees you.”

Dean purposefully ignored his eyes and began walking that way.

“Oh, and Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I happen to be quite fond of Gabriel. So if you hurt him again, I can and will murder you and let the butterflies in my fields eat your corpse.”

He gulped nervously. “Maybe you should apply for a job on _Dr. Sexy,_ too,” he tried. “You could be a mob boss.”

“I will use your bones as fertilizer. Do not test me.”

“Got it,” he complied, head down as he hurried over to Gabriel’s lawn.

He looked up at the window he knew opened onto Gabriel’s room. He knew that because it was directly opposite his own window, and he had seen Gabriel doing shit like dancing goofily or pacing or stretching or—

He adjusted the volume before hitting play.

Or like that one time Gabriel was looking out at the stars and Dean was looking at him, and Gabe blinked and met his eyes in surprise like he could _feel_ Dean’s gaze, and they didn’t look away for a long time. That was before he really knew Gabriel.

Before, well, now.

The saxophones floated smoothly onto the side of the house.

But did he know Gabriel? He didn’t know his favorite song until now. Or his favorite food. They were friends — enemies — _somethings_ and he didn’t know the first thing about the guy.

Which is why, when Gabriel flung open his window tiredly and snapped, “What,” Dean responded, “What’s your favorite color?”

Gabriel made some gesture as if that were the most ridiculous and annoying question Dean could possibly ask. “Magenta,” he said, with as much snark dripping from his voice as possible.

“Oh,” Dean responded over the music. “Um, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Cool, thanks.” Gabriel slammed his window shut again.

Dean sighed and let the music run. That went… horribly.

“Time for plan b,” he murmured to himself.

—

“You’re calling me.”

“Yes.”

“For _relationship advice.”_

Dean scowled. “It’s not a relationship. It’s a friendship, uh, enemy-ship? Some kind of ship.”

“It’s a ship.” Sam flipped the stir fry he was making with the pan. “So Gabe is mad at you, huh?”

“…Yeah.”

“What happened?”

Dean covered his face with his hands. “I got frustrated and I took it out on him.”

“I figured as much. I meant what did you say _exactly?”_

“… I told him there was nothing between us.”

Jess let out an accusatory, “Dean!” from somewhere off-camera.

“Now he won’t talk to me. Or even fight with me.” Dean checked his phone again. “I’ve texted him like eighteen times and he hasn’t responded.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sam agreed. “Definitely nothing there.”

“Will you just shut the fuck up and help me?”

Sam looked over to Jess, eyebrows raised. She walked into the frame and leaned against him. “You’ve gotta do something unexpected.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Some sort of grand gesture.”

Dean scrunched up his nose. “You’re leaning pretty heavy into romance territory and I—“

“Can it, Dean. _You’re_ the one bringing up romance. You lost a _friend._ Stop calling him an enemy. He’s your _friend_ and you fucked up. Say it.”

“He’s my friend and I fucked up,” he mumbled.

“Good start. If it were me, I’d write out everything I was feeling and tell him.” She shrugged, eyeing the stir fry carefully.

“But he’s not answering my texts!”

“Then go tell him _in person,_ ya dingus.”

Dean groaned and looked out his window over to Gabriel’s room. “What if that doesn’t work?”

She sighed. “Then you try again. Until he understands. But he’s never required to forgive you.”

Something deep in Dean twisted at that. “Jess, I _need_ him to forgive me.”

“Then quit talking to us and go talk to him.”

He nodded to himself before waving goodbye and hanging up. It was dark outside, past curfew.

His eyes fell on a face mask.

—

Gabriel sat back and sighed, running his hands over his face. It wasn’t a good day. In fact, he was highly ready for it to be over with.

He had found the security video easily, and it only served to make him angrier. Because Mr. _There Is No Us_ initiated it. He watched himself laugh and joke and get close but not close enough. They didn’t fuck. They really _technically_ didn’t get past a teenage level of horny makeout, without even the making out bits.

So, yeah. Fuck Dean.

And fuck _whatever_ that was with the boombox and the favorite color, because that brought the hurt all back up again and Gabriel _hated_ it. Acting like he cared. Why did he care if he cared, anyway? They were enemies.

Gabe looked at his phone background for the umpteenth time that day. That same damn photo of Dean with a sword pressed to his throat, all high and happy and carefree.

Why couldn’t all Dean be _that_ Dean? The one that laughed and flirted openly without any pretense of fighting?

Dean texted him again and Gabriel swiped it away, scowling. He really just needed to have a good old naked romp with someone and clear his head.

He screamed when he heard a knock on his window.

He turned around in a flash, eyes wide and hands going for the nearest weapon-shaped item.

Dean waved at him from outside, face mask on.

Gabriel growled at him and grabbed his own face mask, throwing it on before yanking open the window. “What the _fuck_ are you doing?!” he hissed.

“I’m sorry and I gotta tell you why.”

“This is a second story window!”

“Yeah uh… I know.”

“It’s after curfew!”

“…I know.”

Gabriel leaned out to look down past Dean. “You climbed up the side of my house.”

“I did.”

“… You have five seconds.”

Dean got a better grip on the windowsill. “There _is_ something between us. You’re right. But it’s hard for me to say because I don’t know what it is yet and I’m terrified it’s going to be more than I can handle.”

Gabe crossed his arms. “I’m listening.”

“And I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you because it wasn’t directed at you. I wasn’t— it just _happened_ and I’m sorry for that, too.”

“Good.”

“I was frustrated because Sam and Jess are having a baby girl soon and I have to be really careful about the virus because I want to go see her when she’s born.” Dean’s sneakers slipped against the brick siding, and he kicked himself back up to a good foot hold. “And your handwriting on my ass cannot be accomplished from six feet away.”

Gabriel’s eyes looked softer, which was a big win for Dean.

“And I took that out on you and our…” he swallowed, “our _relationship_ because it was the easiest and most available target.”

“I get it.”

“You do?” Dean’s fingers ached.

“Yeah. You raised Sam, so this isn’t just like… your niece. She’s kind of your granddaughter, too.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah. Yeah, just like that. I’m sorry I took that out on you.”

Gabriel looked out across the land between their houses. “I found the video of last night anyway. You don’t have anything to worry about. You had a mask on, and both of us were covered in alcohol.”

Dean almost slipped completely off. “So we didn’t…?”

“Didn’t…? Oh, no. No, we didn’t fuck. Just sorta… did some heavy flirting and hickey-giving.”

“Oh.”

Gabe raised an eyebrow at him. “You sound disappointed.”

“I… maybe.” He winced. “Dude I’m gonna fall soon. Am I forgiven?”

“Hmm. Tell ya what. Let me be in charge of the next episode of our science thing, and _then_ I will forgive you.”

“Like… you run the experiment?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a specific idea in mind.”

Dean bit his tongue. “I… I trust you, okay? It’s a deal.”

“Okay.” Gabriel looked at the man who had climbed to his second story just for the chance to apologize. “Hey, I lied to you.”

“What?”

“When you asked my favorite color. I lied to you.”

Dean looked up at him, and Gabe could see the stars reflected in his eyes like some sort of dime romance novel. “What’s your favorite color, then?”

“It’s orange. But like, that specific orange when you make the perfect mac ’n’ cheese. That sort of golden, sunsety, macaronish color.”

“You’re unnecessarily complicated,” Dean informed him, smiling wide even behind the mask.

And Gabriel smiled back at him, eyes crinkling, and Dean felt a feeling he hadn’t experienced since he was a teenager crop up in him. A sort of tingling in his hands, knots in his stomach kind of feeling.

“F— _hic_ — uck,” Dean said, before his hands slipped and he fell two stories.

Gabe’s hands shot out too late, and Dean laid on the ground in a moment, the wind knocked out of him.

“Dean!” Gabriel called out. “Are you okay?”

Dean gave him a thumbs-up before letting his arm collapse back down. “Just gonna need a minute.” He groaned as he tried to move. “Or two.”

Gabriel finally allowed himself to laugh, pulling his mask off. “Dude, what were you _thinking?”_

“I was _thinking_ that you weren’t reading my texts! And I couldn’t let you go on being mad at me so I had to come over and fix it!”

“Jesus, alright, I’ll read your damn texts,” Gabe chuckled, leaning back into his room for his phone.

Dean groaned. “Please don’t. They’re embarrassing.”

Gabriel rested his elbows on the windowsill, looking like he had all the time in the world. “It’s not always that I have a captive audience, you know.”

“I hate you. I take it all back.”

Gabriel scrolled through the 57 missed messages he had. _“You look nice today, I can’t see you but I know it’s true,”_ he read aloud.

Dean covered his face with his hands. “Delete them. All of them.”

“Absolutely not. _I’m sorry I’m an asshole._ Hey, that’s a good one.”

“I’m literally begging you.”

“You’re literally incapable of doing anything. _I miss your stupid face.”_

“It is stupid,” Dean grumbled, crossing his arms.

 _“I’m not great with friends and I need to know I haven’t lost you.”_ Gabriel stared at his phone.

Dean said nothing.

“You haven’t lost me,” Gabe confirmed quietly.

“You scared me,” Dean responded, just as quiet.

Gabe looked down at the splayed form on the ground, shocked. “You were actually worried? About losing me?”

Dean looked off to the side, face red. “Extremely.”

“You… You know I’m nothing special, right? I’m just an ordinary guy.”

“You’re… You’re Gabriel. You’re anything but ordinary.” Dean winced at himself. “I’m gonna sound like a stalker for this but uh, I used to… I could see your room from my room. And while I was working or studying, you were always… dancing. Or singing. Or doing something _fun_ and _exciting,_ like life hadn’t quite torn you down yet. And I always wanted to talk to you except you were… you were _you_ and I was intimidated.”

“I. Intimidated you.”

“…Yes.”

“That’s… wild. Okay.”

“I’m just trying to say that you’re special to _me,_ Gabe.” His ears were red with the confession, arms still crossed tightly. “I wanna know you.”

“You want me to submit to the mortifying ordeal?” Gabe joked, mind still whirling.

“Isn’t that what friends do?”

“I… don’t know.”

“I don’t either. Does it… _feel_ like what friends do?”

“It… feels like what _we_ do.”

“Then we will submit to the mortifying ordeal.” Dean and Gabe’s eyes met, and it was as if they were both finishing the saying in their mind, realizing what they had agreed to.

“You should get back before someone turns you in for breaking curfew,” Gabe said, frozen to his spot.

“Yeah,” Dean agreed, licking his lips. “Byron.”

“Um. It definitely wasn’t a Byron quote but—“

“No. I mean, I’m submitting. To the mortifying ordeal. My middle name is Byron.”

Gabriel hid his grin. “Was your dad just really into poetry?”

Dean snorted. “Uh, no. No. My mom wanted my middle name to be a famous author, and my dad wanted it to be James. So they compromised.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How is _Byron_ a compromise between authors and _James?”_

“James Dean’s middle name was Byron.” Dean shrugged.

“Huh. Dean Byron Winchester. You sound like an academic I would fist fight in a library.”

“Hence why I don’t tell people.”

“But you told me.”

“A decision I am coming to regret.”

Gabe laughed softly. “Yeah well, my middle name is Rosie, so.”

Dean couldn’t help the laugh that barked out of him. “You’re joking!”

“Gabriel Rosie Shurley. In the flesh. My whole family calls me Gabrosie, except Castiel, because he’s the only decent one.”

“Oh god our names suck.”

“Lord Byron Junior and Gabrosie, at your service.”

“Byron and Rosie sound like a couple from a period piece romance.”

Gabriel propped his chin on his hands and batted his eyelashes. “Oh my dearest Byron, you have fallen from such a tremendous height: that of my heart. I am lofty and difficult to obtain, but nay! you shall not have me. I am not yours to keep.”

Dean tore his face mask off in a fit of faux melodrama. “My dearest Rosie! Ever-blooming and all-encompassing. Come down here so that I might die with an angel by my side.”

Gabe threw his hand against his forehead. “O, god in heaven or those traipsing about the earth: do I dare? Might I brave that which plagues mankind just to be close to my Byron as he lays dying?” He cleared his throat loudly. “I _said,_ as he lays _dying?”_

“Hm? Oh. Um, ack! Bleh, I’m dying,” Dean let his tongue loll out of his mouth. “My Rosie! My Rosie! I see Heaven fast-approaching, but even it is dull without your light to shine upon it. The sun doth envy thee. Prithee, come. Burn me.”

“Oh I’ll make you burn all right.” He grinned. “I dare not. I shall toss you a parting token. Pay Charon with it.”

“I’m not going to the Underworld you _ass,”_ Dean responded, smiling wide.

Gabe disappeared for a moment before returning with a t-shirt. “Take good care of it, my Byron.” He let it fall and Dean easily caught it. “Soon, we shall only possess the wardrobe of the other.”

Dean laughed. “Whatsoever shall I do with a wardrobe only of shirts with a jester’s musings on them?” He pointedly held out the shirt, which said _I carrot be-leaf you right now._

“That which a jester does only in his chambers,” Gabe responded, wiggling his eyebrows. “Though alas, do feel free to demonstrate such actions here, within my line of sight.”

“I believe I must go. The afterlife is calling, and the guards shall soon be here, as it is after curfew.”

“Another time then, my beautiful Byron.”

Dean pushed himself up, only wincing slightly. “Beautiful, huh? Rosie, your lips are the raised peaks of mountains, and I would gladly die between them.” He winked, leaving Gabriel to wonder if that comment was rated G or R. “Goodnight, my Rosie.”

“Goodnight, my Byron.”

He watched Dean go, something stirring in his chest that wasn’t horrible, but wasn’t fantastic, either. It was just there.

—

**_[Byron] 12:32am_ ** _fits perfect :)_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not have the mental fortitude today to proofread this, which i just finished writing, so enjoy whatever chaos may lay before thee

Sam poised his thumbs over the keyboard, reading the comments.

Jess craned her neck to look. “Oh my god, babe. Don’t do it.”

“But look at him! He _definitely_ starts hiccuping there!”

She grinned. “Are you prepared to go from mere fan to creator and inciter, then?”

They both watched as the video restarted. Phone footage of Dean, who had apparently climbed up the side of Gabriel’s house to talk to him through a window. He said something, Gabriel smiled (probably? It was hard to tell), and Dean fell two stories, laid there a moment, then gave a weary thumbs-up.

“I’m gonna do it.”

**_Sam Winchester (just now)_ ** _omg look right before he falls. he’s doing that hiccup thing again_

Jess opened up her app and reacted to his comment with a ‘wow’ face. “One day he’s gonna realize that all of this happened and he’s not gonna talk to us for a few weeks.”

“I can live with that.” Sam watched as others commented on his comment, with variations of _OH MY GOD_ and _YOU’RE RIGHT_ and _AREN’T YOU HIS BROTHER OMG WHAT DOES IT M E A N?!_ “Besides, they blocked him and Gabriel from the group.”

“It’s gonna slip out eventually. I know it will.” She shouldered him. “Did you ever find that video to send Gabriel?”

“Yep! Got it all converted from VHS. Just gotta wait for the right moment.”

Jess laughed, crinkling her nose. “Oh gosh, VHS. What a throwback.”

“I swear the guy I called about the converter didn’t know what it was.”

“Kids these days,” she responded, eyes twinkling.

He side-eyed her mischievously. “You wanna see it?”

“Hell yeah I do!”

—

Charlie scowled. “It doesn’t like me.”

“It’s a plant, Charlie. It doesn’t like anyone.”

She glared at the potted thing as she dug a hole where Castiel pointed. “So if it dies, you’re not gonna blame me?”

“It’s a succulent so the odds are slim even for you but, no. I won’t blame you.”

“Fine.” She shoveled dirt out of the way. “I know why you like gardening but, for the record, I hate it.”

Castiel laughed. “You’re the one who wanted to learn.”

“And I stand by that. And my last statement.”

He sat back on his heels, waving absently at Dean as he walked out. “Good morning, neighbor.”

“Mornin’, Cas,” Dean responded, leaning against the fence. “Charlie.”

She waved the trowel at him. “Hey, Dean. How’re things?”

“Actually… good. What about y’all?”

Charlie pointed to her shallow hole. “I’m learning to garden while I wait for some stuff to process.”

“Good start.”

Castiel nodded. “She’s doing wonderfully. I’m merely overseeing and offering help if needed.” He turned back to Dean. “Regardless, am I going to have to murder you, or did you fix everything?”

Dean smiled and hung his head. “I fixed everything.”

“That’s precisely what someone I needed to murder would say.”

He shrugged. “Gabrosie and I worked everything out last night.”

Charlie giggled while Castiel raised one amused eyebrow. “Gabrosie, huh? He told you about that?”

“He did. I told him I wanted to know him better, we said some stuff, and wound up there. Gabrosie.”

“I suppose I can accept that as proof.” Castiel grinned. “Thank you for reminding me of that. I had forgotten entirely, if I’m being honest.”

Dean laughed. “Oh. Oh no. He thought you didn’t call him that on purpose. He said you were the only decent one in your family because of it.”

“Absolutely not. It just slipped my mind.” He handed Charlie the plant. “Though, on second thought, I’m not sure I’d like to start another prank war by bringing it back.”

“Prank war?”

“Hmm, or would I?” Castiel ignored Dean. “I might, actually.”

Charlie squinted at the plant now in the ground. “I mean, my vote is always yes on prank wars.”

“Maybe a secret prank war.” Cas nodded. “Yes. That’s what I’ll do. He won’t know how much he’s been pranked until it’s too late. Dean, wait here.” Castiel disappeared inside his house.

Charlie frowned at the plant. “Does this look right?”

“I have no idea.”

“It looks… squished.”

“Can you like… unsquish it?”

“Maybe? Maybe it just needs water.”

“It _is_ pretty hot today. Need me to water it? I’ve got a watering hose over here.”

“Nah, there’s one here. I just gotta… figure out how to use it.”

Castiel returned just as Charlie turned the hose on, sending it spiraling. He grinned and shut it off easily. “Good try, Charles. Dean, I left some things on your welcome mat.”

“Um, okay?”

“I think you’ll appreciate them.” He waved as if that signaled the end of their conversation and began explaining something to Charlie.

Dean shrugged and went to his front porch, picking up the box on his way inside.

DVDs. VHSs. CDs. And a t-shirt for… some band called _Centerfold._

He took out the media and immediately began laughing at what was hidden in the bottom of the box.

“Oh Cas, you’ve spoiled me,” he said to himself, grinning as he grabbed the stack of DVDs and sprinted to his living room.

It was going to be a good afternoon.

—

Gabriel laid on a towel in his front lawn, sunbathing, even as the sun began to set. When he heard Dean’s door open, he smiled to himself and yawned, flipping onto his stomach and closing his eyes. “Heya, Winchester,” he called out.

There was the sound of footsteps headed his way. “Heya, Rosie.”

“Where is all the scheduled, awful music?”

“Huh. I guess I got sidetracked.”

“That interesting of an afternoon?”

“You could say that.” Dean was pretty close now, definitely in his yard. “I’m wearing another one of your shirts.”

“Mm,” Gabriel responded sleepily, basking in the warmth.

“You didn’t give me this one, though. I found it.”

“Didn’t realize I was leaving my clothes everywhere.”

He heard what sounded vaguely like Dean kneeling somewhere beside him. “Gabriel.”

“Mhmm?”

“I need you to sign my boobs.”

Gabe blinked at that. “Sign your—?“ He turned to look at Dean, face going red. “Oh. Oh, I’m going to _kill_ Castiel.”

Dean batted his eyelashes dramatically, pushing his pecs together to accentuate the cleavage window of the band tee. “I’m your _biggest_ fan,” he said in a fake voice.

Gabe looked at the faded graphic of himself, younger and in his punk phase, and finally sat up. “I’m going to skin him alive first, and then kill him.”

Dean grinned at him, letting his knees sink out to either side of him, giving Gabriel full view of cut-off jean shorts. “I’ve listened to _all_ of your songs!”

Gabe was _fully_ aware that he was staring. Problem was, he didn’t know how to stop. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

“All of them. My _favorite_ is the duck song!”

“It’s uh, it’s been a few years.”

Dean rolled his eyes, dropping the fake voice. “Dude. The one that’s all like… _tossing me pieces, leaving a trail, traces of love, all gone stale.”_

He inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. “Two things. First, that song is _not_ about ducks so jot that down. Second…” he opened his eyes and stared Dean down, “Winchester if you are going to seduce me in _my_ band’s shirt and sing _my_ song and wear _those_ shorts then I am left with virtually no choice but to push you against a wall and make out with you.”

Dean was grinning at him. “What? Never had a groupie before?”

“Oh, get fucked.”

He laughed softly. “Seriously. I’m a fan. Some of the songs were really cheesy but… they fit you.”

Gabe snapped his fingers. “You. Me. Wall. Right now.”

“But that punk phase though… black is _not_ your color.” He grinned at the glare Gabriel sent his way. “C’mon. You weren’t happy. You’re happy in bright clothes with lame puns on them. That’s the Rosie I know.”

“That wall. See it? That one. Let’s go.”

“I burned all the songs to my laptop so I could listen whenever. You have a nice voice. Bit more country than I expected but those low notes? I mean, just take me now.”

Gabe let out an exasperated sound. “My tongue! Your mouth! Over there!!!”

“If you wanna duet sometime,” Dean looked at Gabe through his lashes, “I’ve been told I’m an okay singer myself.”

“New plan. I’ve got a bed, it’s comfy, let me take my shirt back myself.”

Dean winked at him. “What? This shirt?” He pulled the cleavage window down more. “I _like_ this shirt. I think I’m _never_ gonna take it off.”

“I will sneak into your house while you shower and steal it from you. No one ever needs to know that shirt exists.”

“Bold of you to assume I won’t be wearing it in the shower.”

The mental image of the dark shirt sticking to Dean’s curves fried Gabriel’s hard drive. “Uh.”

“Anyway, just letting you know I’ll be blasting _your_ songs tonight.”

“Like _hell_ you are!”

Dean pressed his hands against his own cheeks in a perfect echo of that scream painting. “If only I had it automated for tonight so I didn’t have to risk you tackling me!”

The music almost immediately started blaring from Dean’s yard.

Gabriel glared at him. “Fair warning now, _when_ we have sex, not if but when, it is no longer going to be a playful romp and instead will be torture. Like… it’ll still be _fun_ torture but, you get the idea.”

“Oo, I’m so scared,” Dean snarked, rolling his eyes. “Let me enjoy this.”

Gabe winced at his own voice blaring across the neighborhood. “This is mortifying, Winchester.”

Dean leaned back on his hands. “This is the ordeal.”

Gabriel covered his red face with his hands, doing his damnedest to _not_ hear the music. He finally peeked over at Dean to glare at him, but stopped himself before he said anything.

Dean was mouthing the lyrics, looking out across the neighborhood. He was relaxed, just sitting six feet away from Gabriel, golden, macaronish sun falling across his eyelashes, his freckles.

Had Winchester always had freckles?

Gabriel studied him, in this moment where it was like he himself did not exist. He was an outsider, observing this creature as it relaxed around a watering hole, content and blissful.

And this creature liked his songs, so maybe they weren’t all that bad.

Dean noticed Gabriel and smiled absently at him, still mouthing the lyrics, and Gabriel realized with a deep, unflinching certainty that he had never wanted to kiss anyone as much in his entire life as he did right this exact moment.

He wanted to look away, but he didn’t, and neither did Dean.

Six feet was altogether too far, and much, much too close.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't have anything to say this time except i'm not sorry

Gabriel snuggled deeper into the warmth around him, somewhere in arms and covers and dark.

“Morning, Rosie,” Dean whispered, kissing the top of his head, his forehead, his nose, his cheeks.

“Five more minutes,” Gabe managed through a yawn.

Dean chuckled against his neck, his smile leaving a warm feeling. “Five more minutes,” he conceded.

Gabe made fish lips, eyes still closed, silently begging for a kiss.

Dean’s lips met his own, soft and gentle and fuzzy and—

Gabriel woke up, spitting his blanket out of his mouth. “Gross,” he whispered to himself, rubbing his eyes. His phone vibrated — again, he assumed — and he grabbed it, squinting at the brightness.

 **_[Byron] 2:18am_ ** _wanna go hunt mushrooms with me_

 **_[Byron] 2:20am_ ** _I’ll buy you ice cream_

Gabe typed out a completely misspelled response, scowled at his tired brain, and just hit the call and speaker buttons, falling back against his pillows as it rang.

“Hey,” Dean’s voice rang out.

“Mm,” Gabe responded sleepily.

“Bioluminescent mushrooms. Woods on the edge of town. You down?”

“Sleepy,” he grumbled.

“Hence the ice cream.”

“Need snuggles,” Gabe pouted, face already smushed back against his pillows.

“Snuggles,” Dean deadpanned back.

“Snuggles,” Gabe confirmed, already more than half asleep again. “C’m kiss me g’night.”

“D’aww, does widdle Gabey want a bedtime story? Want me to tuck you in?”

“I’m being—“ he yawned, “patronized.”

 _“Mushrooms,_ Gabe. It’ll be fun.”

“Sleepin’ is fun.”

“Not nearly as much fun as this.”

“It’s two in the morning, Byron,” Gabe mumbled, eyes closed.

“We all know time doesn’t exist.”

“It is _bedtime,_ Byron.”

“Surely there’s _some_ way to convince you to come along.”

“Go w’out me.” He was mostly asleep, with only the barest bits of his consciousness clinging to the conversation.

“It’s not as cool alone. I wanted to, y’know just kinda… show you something cool.”

Gabe was asleep. He was _absolutely_ asleep. “C’m to bed.” And even asleep, his mouth didn’t shut up.

“Whose bed? Your bed?” he teased.

“I was dreamin’ ‘bout you.”

“You were—“ Dean was quiet a moment. “Oh my god. Are you sleep talking right now?”

Gabe mumbled something that sounded a lot like ‘fuck off’ and blearily opened his eyes.

“…What were you dreaming about me?”

Gabriel yelped loudly at the unexpected voice, falling out of bed as he attempted to turn his lamp on.

“Woah! Everything okay?”

Gabe squinted around the room. “Winchester?”

“Oh, did you wake up?” He sounded… disappointed.

“You scared the living shit out of me!!!”

“So does that mean you’ll go mushroom hunting with me?”

Gabe put one hand over his heart, breathing hard. “I’m not getting to sleep anytime soon so I guess so.”

“Great! I’ll be over in a few. Get dressed. Or don’t. I don’t care.”

“I hate you.” Gabe fell back against the wall and tried to remember why his face was red.

—

Dean walked around with Gabriel, face masks on and eyes adjusting to the dark.

“Sooo,” Dean began, “What’s your story?”

Gabe rolled his eyes hard enough he saw the stars. “Winchester I swear to god if this was just a really lame cover to get me on a date, I will _personally_ shave your eyebrows off.”

“Just making conversation,” he grumbled.

Gabe kicked a log. “I ain’t got a story,” he informed Dean, frowning at the lack of mushrooms.

“Everyone’s got a story.”

“So you said these mushrooms glow in the dark?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Uh, yeah. They’re rare, though. We’ll be lucky if we see one.” Dean looked around the darkened forest. “Sorry.”

“For the mushrooms? I kinda already figured they were rare.”

“For prying.” Dean walked a bit ahead, giving Gabriel time to sigh.

“What do you want from me, Dean?”

The question caught him off guard and he halted, looking back. “How do you mean?”

“Okay, we can play dumb if you want. Sure.” Gabe shook his head angrily. “What is this?”

“It’s… a forest.”

_“Dean.”_

Dean fiddled with his flashlight, not turning it on but messing with the switch anyway. “I already told you.”

“I _know_ it’s a goddamned for—“

“You scared me.” Dean cleared his throat. “Almost lost you. Or whatever.”

Gabe ran a hand over his face. “You were scared we wouldn’t be friends anymore so now you’re dragging me on science field trips at ass o’clock in the morning. Coming to regret not answering those texts, Winchester.”

“Forget it.” Dean went back to walking, head down.

Gabriel followed him quietly for a while. “Fourteen.”

“Mushrooms?!” Dean spun around quickly, eyes wide.

“What? No, why would there be— I was fourteen. When my mom died.” Gabe winced at himself. “Wow that was a really shitty segue, I already regret it. You got so excited.”

“I… the mushrooms are cool.” Dean went back to walking, slower, now. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It is what it is. Life sucks sometimes. Cassie was eight.”

Dean nodded, pushing aside some branches. “Yeah. My mom died in a fire when I was four. Sam wasn’t even one yet.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. Dad got kind of weird after that.”

Gabe side-eyed him. “Yeah. Same here.”

“We, y’know, never really had somewhere to call home.”

“Lucky. We stayed on that fucking homestead.”

Dean glanced at Gabriel. “Wow, you guys had land?”

Gabriel sniffed, like he didn’t care. “Wow, you guys had a _car?”_

“I mean, _my_ dad became an alcoholic.”

“My dad joined a _cult.”_

“I had to take care of Sammy since Dad wouldn’t.”

“Yeah? Well, I had to fight for _custody_ of Castiel so legally he’s my kid.”

Dean smirked. “That so? I had to be a _housewife_ at the age of five.”

“I never even went to _school.”_

“My dad believed that _monsters_ started the fire in our house.”

“I was told _gay people_ were monsters. _”_ He held out a hand. “Oh my god, Dean. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Don’t you see?” He rested his hands on Dean’s shoulders seriously. “The gays started the fire.”

Dean snorted, leaning back and laughing. “Those damn gays with their fires!”

“It’s the agenda!”

“It all makes sense now!”

Gabe put one hand over his own heart. “I hate to break it to you, Byron, but your mom made some very powerful enemies.”

“Well, you know the gays are responsible for every cult in the United States, so your dad made some powerful enemies, too, Rosie.”

“Only the United States.”

“Communists run all the other ones.”

“Ah, of course. Silly me.” Gabriel tapped his chin thoughtfully. “So if the gay agenda is setting house fires and starting cults, what the hell are _we_ doing?”

“Oh fuck. Quick, gimme a match!”

Gabriel stepped back, one hand over his heart, aghast. “Byron!” he announced, shocked. “Do you mean to tell me you are…………. _gay?”_

“As a butt plug.”

Gabriel bent over, hiding his giggles before coming up with a big breath. _“Sinner!”_

Dean grinned. “Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you over judgement day.”

“I _said,”_ Dean took a deep breath in, and then yelled until it echoed across the forest, _“SORRY DADDY I’VE BEEN NAUGHTY!”_

Gabriel choked, falling backwards and laughing so hard he cried. “Do— do _not—_ “ he lost himself to another fit of laughter, holding his stomach. “Don’t call— call me daddy,” he managed.

“Oh, what was that? Call you daddy, Daddy?”

Gabriel was laughing again, no actual sound coming out as he rolled on the forest floor.

“If we call _each other_ daddy, then what do we do for Father’s Day?”

Gabriel was kicking his feet like that would help anything, face smeared with dirt as he pressed his cheek into the ground, mask long gone.

“Could I even tell you to go to your room? Could you just… _reverse Uno_ me?”

“W-w-w-wiiiin-ch-chest-t-t-errrrrr!” Gabriel managed, taking giant gulps of air as he was lost in his laughing fit.

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me, young man,” Dean said, voice lower than usual, one finger over his lip like a mustache. “I wear the pants in this family.”

Gabriel was off giggling again, his clothes _filthy_ from his incessant rolling.

“I expect a full report on my desk by Monday morning!” Dean paused. “Oh wait, fuck, that was my professor kink coming up.”

Gabe was laughing hard enough that any nearby animal was _certainly_ gone, trying to beg for mercy while being unable to get coherent words out.

“Fuck, what do dads say? Uhhhh,” he dropped his voice again, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Wh-w-wh-why?” Gabe managed between laughs, cheeks hurting.

“Because even a damn chicken is more capable than you!”

Gabe was lost again, and maybe it briefly went through Dean’s head to show mercy, but… _nah._

“So that’s it, huh? That’s what gets you rolling? Dad jokes?”

“S-s-st-stoooo-ooopp,” Gabriel begged, tears rolling down his face. “I-I’m dyyy-y-y-iii-ing!”

Dean leaned in comically, pulling down his mask and grinning wide. “Hey, Dying. I’m Dad.”

Gabriel was probably _definitely_ cursing him, but it was just sounds barely coming out as he rolled.

Dean watched him, feeling a very strong sense of pride. Gabriel was the funniest person he knew, and he had managed to break him down to this giggling _mess._ Everything else seemed so… _secondary._ Here was Gabriel, laughing at Dean’s jokes. What else could possibly matter?

Gabe managed to catch his breath. “Oh god, it feels like I did five hundred sit-ups,” he rushed out before giggling again.

“I’m that funny, huh?” Dean asked, bouncing his eyebrows.

“Ah, get fucked, Dean,” Gabriel responded, flipping him off and grinning. He sighed and stuck his hand out, feeling along the ground. “Where the fuck did my mask go.”

“Meh,” Dean said, holding out a hand as he slipped his own back on. “Just don’t get all up in my personal space. We’ll be fine.”

Gabe accepted the help. “Oh? What happened to Mr. There Is No Us?”

He cleared his throat, turning his face quickly. “Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it.” Gabriel dusted himself off, smiling to himself as he made sure to stay six feet away from Dean. “You sure you don’t want me to just give you a big old sloppy kiss?”

“I will leave you here in this forest,” Dean snarked back, side-eyeing him.

“Thought we had quit with the dad impersonations?”

Dean laughed, pushing back some branches and squinting into the dark.“Fair enough. So what was that episode of our show you had in mind?”

“Surprise,” Gabe responded nonchalantly. “We could probably film tomorrow afternoon or so.”

Dean looked his way. “You’re not gonna hurt me or yourself, are you?”

“Hey, I’m capable of sciencing!”

He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. But I’m not responsible for anything that goes wrong.”

“Thank you for the vote of confidence. I appreciate it.”

“Aw.” Dean grinned at him. “You know I have full confidence in you.”

“Oh, do you?” Gabriel looked off into the distance, tilting his head.

“Course I do. We’re friends.”

“Yeah. Friends.” Gabe pointed. “Does that look like glowing to you?”

Dean looked out far to the right, eyes wide. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. Head that way.”

They walked in silence for a while, eyes on the target.

“Hey, Gabriel?”

“Oooo, is it a full name sort of day? Am I in trouble?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Can I tell you something kinda weird?”

“I mean, let me think. It’s like four in the morning at this point, and we’re hunting glowing mushrooms during a pandemic in a forest, where we spent the last however-long making really fucking dumb jokes. Are you gonna manage to top all that?”

They crouched around the patch of mushrooms giving off a soft, earthy light.

“This is… incredible,” Gabriel breathed, eyes wide. “They’re just… glowing. All on their own.”

“Yeah. I thought you might like them.”

Gabriel looked up at Dean, his features shadowed but visible in the still-night. “What weird thing did you want to tell me?”

Dean met his eyes slowly, giving him a half-smile. “I think you’re my best friend.”

Gabe gave a disbelieving laugh. “That’s your weird fact? After everything else we’ve done, _that_ is what strikes you as weird?”

“It’s… new. Things keep happening and, y’know… you’re the only one I wanna talk to about them. But we haven’t even been enemies very long, let alone friends.”

Gabriel tilted his head, studying him. “Yeah, okay.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “You’re uh, you’re my best friend, too.”

Dean quickly put his head down, hiccuping softly.

Gabe laughed. “Dude, get that checked out. You have too many hiccups to be normal.” He shrugged. “Also. Y’know. We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, even if it hasn’t been as… intense.”

“Are we intense, Rosie?”

“The intensest, Byron.” He plucked a mushroom and held it out like a flower. “For you.”

Dean accepted it, heart thudding. “Thank you. I’ll uh, treasure it always.”

“Use it as a night light. Keep away all those pesky nightmares.”

“Yeah.” Dean tucked it in his shirt pocket. “Hey, Gabe?”

“Hmm?”

“What were you dreaming about?”

Gabe shook his head, smiling to himself. “Don’t worry about it, Winchester. C’mon. I wanna go back to sleep.” He stood up and held out his hand, and Dean memorized it.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*slides this over to y'all*hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Gabe flopped into bed, already half-asleep from the walk home with Dean.

The walk home, where his own fingers kept betraying him and straying out, like they were going to brush Dean’s if only he’d stand a little goddamned _closer._

There was too much in his brain to think about, so he did his best to shut his brain off and get some sleep before the sun rose.

He groaned loudly as his phone rang instead. He squinted at the caller ID before swiping up and throwing his arm over his face. "You're here to torture me. That's what it is. You're my sleep deprivation demon."

Dean laughed quietly. "Hello to you, too, Rosie."

"If you're here to run another science experiment by me, I am all scienced out."

"I actually just couldn't get to sleep and was wondering if you'd just sorta... stay on the line with me."

Gabe peeked out from under his arm, because Dean sounded like he had no intention of sleeping. "Bullshit. Ugh. I sleep talked to you, didn't I. And you want that to happen again."

Dean, who wanted _exactly_ that, responded, "Of course not!"

"Then why did you call."

"I uh... well you see I um..." Dean's eyes searched his own room frantically, finally landing on one of Gabriel's shirts. "What uh, what are you wearing?"

"Your shirt," Gabe deadpanned back, irritable and tired and confused.

"And?"

"There is no 'and'. Your shirt. That's it."

"Oh that's actually— huh. Okay. That's... pretty hot."

Gabe yawned. "Winchester, are you booty calling me?" he teased, before his mind finally processed the question he had just answered and he sat up in bed. "Oh my god you're booty calling me."

“I—“

"You're trying to have phone sex with me. Right this very moment."

And it was either say yes or admit that he wanted desperately to know what the dream was. "Is it... working?"

"You're serious."

"I haven't exactly done this before!"

Gabriel grinned wide. "Last chance to back out."

And he could. He certainly _could._ But.....

Why _would_ he?

"Same extends to you, of course," Dean quipped back.

"Mmm. What are you wearing, Dean Byron Winchester?" Gabriel asked, voice lower than Dean could remember it ever being and _holy shit_ what had he gotten himself into.

"Your shirt. Boxers. Socks."

"All of it. Off. Slowly." He paused. "Actually, I want you to leave my shirt on."

Dean pulled off his other clothes, until he was left laying in just the shirt. "Okay."

"Do you keep my shirt on when you jack off, Winchester?" Gabriel asked with as much nonchalance as he would if he was asking about the weather.

This was not the way Dean was intending this night to go, and he swallowed harshly. "I uh..."

"I'm waiting."

"... yes."

"I knew it! It's okay. I do, too."

Dean knocked his head back against his pillow. "So when I called—“

"Is that really any of your business?"

He barked out a laugh. "I'm laying here half-naked, having phone sex with you. I think it's _absolutely_ my business."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "You're half-naked? I thought you had boxers on?"

"You told me to take them off?"

"Wait, you _did it?!"_

Dean's face was suddenly red. "I uh. I mean..."

"I thought we were playing gay chicken!"

"And you thought I'd chicken out at taking my _boxers_ off? I've still got a faded signature on my _ass,_ and I’m gonna draw the line at _stripping?!"_

Gabriel suddenly felt a lot warmer than he did ten seconds ago. "Then where _would_ you draw the line?"

"Why don't you find out?

"If you're officially challenging me to gay chicken, then I hope you know I am _absolutely_ going to win."

"Oh, is that so?"

"It _is_ so, Winchester."

"Then let me hear you moan."

"... Fine." Gabriel took himself in his hand, focusing very hard on _not_ focusing on this too hard.

"Bet you've still got that line of hickeys, don't you?"

Gabriel cursed under his breath. "Faded. Yes."

"Do you think about that when you think about me? How my mouth has been _all over_ you?" Gabriel could _hear_ the fucking grin Dean was giving him.

"Go fuck yourself, Winchester," he hissed out, teeth clenched.

"What makes you think I'm not already?"

"Goddammit," Gabriel laughed breathily. "You better be. I don't wanna be the only one— the only one losing their fucking mind." Dean made some small sound, and Gabriel threw his free arm over his face again.

"Do I drive you insane, _Gabriel?"_ Dean asked, low and unintentionally rough, the name dragging across Gabe's skin like fire.

"Of course you do," Gabe gasped out, eyes squeezed shut. "What kind of fucking question is that." He laughed again. "Dammit Dean you better be touching yourself."

"You think I have enough self-control to _not?_ When you're here, sounding like that?"

"Like what?" A groan built up in his throat, which he forcefully silenced.

"Like every goddamned fantasy I've had in the past two months."

The moan that edged past Gabriel's lips was sharp and needy. “Feel free to— Feel free to surrender at any time,” he gasped out.

“Same to you,” Dean responded, biting back his answering moan.

"When this is—“ Gabe swallowed harshly, lips tingling, "When this whole virus shit is over, I'm going to push you against a wall and show you what it means to get _fucked_ by me."

Dean bit his lip and whimpered, picking up his pace. "Fuck yes." His breathing was harsh, his legs twitching. "What— what is it with you and walls?"

"Got a problem with it?" Gabe's voice was shaky, his hips were stuttering.

"It's the hottest fucking fantasy."

"It's not the— the hottest." His groan came out more as a curse. "I could always just— just handcuff you to my bed and take my sweet time." He heard Dean's sharp inhale and echoing moan. "By the way, if you don't come with my name on your lips, you lose."

"Bold of you— to assume I'd be— saying— anything— else—!” Dean's back arched and his mouth fell open, "Gabriel, Gabriel, _Gabriel"_ falling from his lips.

And how was Gabriel excepted to hold out against _that?_

Dean's voice went _gay_ to his dick and he was coming, Dean's name caressing his mouth like a goddamned kiss.

He breathed heavy, boneless, unable and unwilling to move. "Did— did I win?"

"Mmm," Dean responded in much the same position. "You can win this time."

"Cool." Gabe ran his hands over his face. "For someone who called just to talk to me while I slept, you sure got on board with that."

"You know me too damn well. I need to start lying to you."

He laughed. "I was dreaming about kissing you, if that sates your curiosity."

"Was I any good?"

"You were my blanket, so no."

"I'll have to give you a frame of reference some day then."

"Winchester, the _moment_ this is over, I'm going to run across Cassie's garden to you, and, assuming I'm still alive after that, I'm going to kiss you and pull you into your house and we won't even leave your bed for two weeks."

"Mmm. Not even for food?"

"We can order delivery."

"You're gonna make that poor delivery person come into our sex dungeon to give us our food?"

"Stop with your logic. I like my plan."

Dean grinned. "I like your plan, too."

Gabe glanced at his phone. "Oh my god. We've only been on the phone for fifteen minutes. That's embarrassing."

"Please tell me you're joking." Dean looked at his screen. "Fuck you're not."

"Am I just that hot?"

"Duh." He sighed. "Next time we'll hold out."

"Oh, next time? This is gonna be a recurring thing?"

"Yeah. Unless you want to _lose_ this game of gay chicken."

"Like hell I'm losing." Gabriel smiled to himself. "I'm gonna fall asleep soon."

"Me, too."

"I'll see you in the morning, Byron."

"It _is_ morning, Rosie."

"Then the afternoon." Gabe opened one eye. "I like you."

"I like you, too. Goodnight, Gabe."

"Goodnight, Dean."

Gabriel hung up and breathed out, grabbing some tissues and cleaning himself off before rolling onto his stomach.

He smiled contentedly and shut his eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed and he opened them again.

He sat up quickly, looking all around the room. "That just happened. That just... that just actually happened." He ran a hand over his face. "I just had phone sex with Dean Winchester."

As if on cue, everything Dean had said, every sound he had made came rushing back, and Gabe's dick gave an interested twitch.

He glared at it. “You traitor,” he accused, before punching his pillow and laying down, hellbent on ignoring the echoes of _“Gabriel”_ in his brain.

—

Dean stared at his ceiling, ignoring his alarm going off at 5:30am.

Why did he even still _keep_ an alarm? His body woke him up at the same time, regardless of the noise.

He took out his cell and hit a familiar number, eyes never wavering from the ceiling.

“Too fucking early.”

“Heya, Sammy.”

“I’m trying to _enjoy_ the early morning hours of sleep that will be stolen from me by a small child for the next like… six years.”

“Sorry.”

Sam sighed and got up, stretching. “It’s fine. I was gonna be up sooner or later anyway for my run.”

“Does running help?”

“Help what? In general? Yeah.”

“Huh.”

Sam meandered groggily to his kitchen, pulling out a pan. “Did you call me to ask about the health benefits of running?”

“Ha, uh, no. No.”

Sam cracked an egg into the pan and started a pot of coffee. “Please don’t make waking me up at 5:30 for no good reason a habit, then. I love you. But don’t.”

“I just… promise me you will literally never bring this up ever again ever for as long as we both shall live.”

“Yeah, not promising that.”

_“Sam.”_

“I won’t bring it up without _reason.”_

Dean groaned. “I hate you so much.”

Sam squinted at the beginnings of sunlight streaming in through his curtains. “Feeling’s mutual. Spill.”

“… What did it feel like when you started falling for Jessica?”

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Uh. I dunno how to explain it. Like I wanted to spend every waking moment with her. And know everything there was to know about her.”

Dean scowled. “What else?”

Sam laughed, leaning back against the counter. “You need _more_ than that? Um, okay. How about she made me happy? When I made her laugh it was like the rest of the world fell away? I couldn’t imagine a future without her?”

“Other things. More specific.”

“Dean, there _isn’t_ more specific.” Sam tilted his head. “Look. _Hypothetically,_ if the reason you were looking for something other than what I’m saying is because you felt what I’m saying about someone in particular, maybe you have feelings for them. That’s what feelings feel like to me.”

“To you?”

“They can feel different to everybody, Dean. So you’ve kinda gotta figure this out for yourself. Just… again, of course, _hypothetically,_ you should keep your brain open. Let yourself accept the _hypothetical possibility_ of catching feelings.”

“…and if I’m wrong?”

“Then you’re wrong. Big fucking whoop.” He flipped his egg. “You’re a scientist. Go run an experiment. Who’s someone you could potentially love romantically but don’t?”

“Um. Doctor Sexy?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Fine. Sure. Doctor Sexy. There’s your control.”

“That’s not how controls— fine. Okay. I see what you’re saying here.” Dean sighed. “One more question.”

“Yeah, shoot.”

“…does phone sex count as actual sex?”

“… I’m hanging up on you. I don’t want to talk to you on your now-filthy phone.”

“It was hypothetical!”

Sam pressed the end call button and poured himself some coffee.

“Everything good?” Jess called out sleepily.

“Yeah. Just think I found the perfect time to send that video.”

—

Dean scowled at his phone and returned to staring at the ceiling. He ran over everything Sam had said, and his brain eventually wandered back to the whole _sex_ thing because that wasn’t… friends didn’t do _that_ … right?

He looked at his phone background, which was, of course, a picture of Gabriel smiling at the camera.

He didn’t even… Gabe didn’t even _send_ that to him. He purposefully got online and sought it out himself.

“I’m so fucked,” he told himself, looking over to the mushroom on his bedside table, glowing softly in the dark. The one that Gabriel had held out to him, like it was nothing, like getting so much as a piece of _gum_ from someone who wasn’t family wasn’t all but unknown to Dean.

Gabriel had plucked it and held it out, knowing that Dean thought they were cool, calling him by his secret name, smiling in a way that put the intricacies of fractals to shame.

Then he had offered his hand, as if that wasn’t the world itself.

Maybe that was it. Maybe the world was just Gabriel himself. Maybe the world was a tight ball of chaos and frustration and joy and anger and curse words and sly smiles and loud laughter. Maybe the world was a dichotomy. A trichotomy. An infinichotomy. The infinichotomy of Gabriel.

Or maybe Dean just needed some sleep.

He closed his eyes, ignoring the part of his brain that wanted to invent new words for Gabriel and the things he caused, because words like _catching feelings_ just… couldn’t be right.

—

Gabriel woke up to a single text message that he didn’t know what to do with.

**_[Byron] 6:17am_ ** _you are an infinichotomy_

Gabe didn’t know whether to smile or stare, so he laughed as his face heated up.

**_[Gabrosie] 10:31am_ ** _so you get poetic when you have sex, jotting that down_

**_[Gabrosie] 11:01am_ ** _or am I just that special?_

**_[Gabrosie] 11:03am_ ** _jk of course I am_

**_[Gabrosie] 11:57am_ ** _call me when you wake up, maybe you can experience this “infinichotomy” all over again ;)_


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i regret to inform you all that writing Dean and Gabe has officially killed some of _my_ brain cells, thereby making the net total of brain cells these two share negative three

Charlie laid down before her plant, staring intently at it. “Grow,” she commanded.

Castiel snorted from somewhere behind her, leaning back on a lawn chair with a book. “That saying about watched pots also applies to plants.”

“Good thing I don’t want my plant to boil, then.”

“Mm, no succulent tea?”

“Ew.” She looked up at the hot afternoon sun. “We should invest in a pool.”

Castiel put down his book a moment, thinking. “I’m not opposed to the idea. 50/50?”

“Sounds good to me.” She laid back on the grass, scrolling through listings. She only glanced up as Dean approached the fence, rubbing his eyes. “Heya, Dean.”

“Hey Charles. Cassie.”

Castiel raised one eyebrow at him. “Don’t call me that. That is a Gabriel-exclusive perk.”

“Sorry.” He laid his arms on the fence, and his head on his arms.

Charlie went back to scrolling. “Rough night?”

“Something like that. Either of you seen Gabe this morning?”

Castiel smirked. _“Gabrosie_ is still inside, though he sent me a Wish listing for water guns shaped like dicks, so I know he is awake.”

Dean snorted. “Forward that to me.”

“Of course.” Castiel stood up and stretched. “I’m going to make some mimosas. Would either of you care for one?”

They both answered affirmative, and Castiel disappeared inside.

Dean took out his phone and texted Gabriel.

 **_[Byron] 12:18pm_ ** _good morning, let’s forget I sent you any texts last night_

“So, whatcha been up to?” Charlie asked, using her phone to block the sun.

“Eh, not a lot. Work. Quarantine stuff. Texting Gabe. The works. You?”

“Same, but no texting Gabe.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Make sure to clean your phone. And tell him I said hi!”

“What makes you think I’m texting him right _now?”_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:19pm_ ** _goodmorning, and absolutely not._

Charlie leveled a Look at him, and he sighed. “Okay yeah, maybe I’m texting him.”

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:20pm_ ** _why is goodnight one word but goodmorning is usually two_

She shook her head in mock shame. “Tell him I said hi.”

 **_[Byron] 12:21pm_ ** _no idea. Charlie says hi_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:21pm_ ** _I say hi back! I’d come outside but I’m naked :)_

“He says hi back. He’s busy.” Dean cleared his throat and texted back, trying to look nonchalant.

 **_[Byron] 12:22pm_ ** _coward_

“Ohhh, busy. Suuuuuure.” Charlie winked at him. “Dude, admit it. You’re obsessed with him.”

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:23pm_ ** _remember you said that._

“Am not!”

She pointed at him. “You jump every time he texts back. I’m gonna go back to shopping. You stand there and text your man.”

“He’s not—“ Dean huffed. “Fine.”

Gabe sent another text, and Dean swiped it open before immediately fumbling his phone into Castiel’s lawn.

He stifled his immediate ‘fuck’ and glanced to see if Charlie was watching. She wasn’t.

Maybe he could… sorta… shimmy onto the fence and—

 ** _“WINCHESTER!”_** Castiel yelled, storming outside from fucking _nowhere_. “If you so much as _THINK_ about careening into my backyard I will _MURDER_ you!!!”

Dean blinked from where his stomach was pushed into the top of the fence. “Huh. I see the family resemblance now.”

“Get. Off. The. Fence.”

“Okay but my phone is like _right there_ and I just really need to—“

Castiel yanked his watering hose out of its coil and aimed it at the phone. “I said. OFF. THE. FENCE!!!”

Dean held his hands up and tipped back into his yard. “Okay! Okay. I’m off the fence.”

“I will give you your phone back in fifteen minutes, when it is safe to touch again.”

“Okay but I really need it like _right now_ so—“

Cas looked at where it had fallen, face down. “If it’s so important, why don’t _I_ put on some gloves and check it for you?”

“Um. Couldn’t you just give it back or—“

“You tried to come into my backyard. No. You _will_ wait fifteen minutes.” The phone buzzed again.

Dean’s hand shot out. “Okay alright, that’s fair and I’m sorry.”

Cas raised one suspicious eyebrow at him and walked over to his phone.

“Don’t— I uh, I really wouldn’t if I was you.”

Cas kicked it over with his foot.

Charlie watched Dean’s face grow ten different shades of red as Castiel leveled a tired look at him.

“I hate you,” Castiel told him matter-of-factly.

“I… I warned you.”

Castiel scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m going to go drink this away. See you in a few days.”

Charlie watched him go inside before grinning at Dean. “Gabe sent you a dick pic, didn’t he.”

“He sent me an everything pic,” Dean mumbled.

“Hmm. Sucks you can’t reply.”

Dean put his hands out in frustration. “Just get me my phone! Please!”

“Nah.” She scrolled through her own more. “Besides. Think he saw.”

Dean looked over at Gabriel’s house, only to see Gabe himself leaning against his window, (unfortunately) fully clothed and laughing his ass off.

Dean groaned and covered his face in embarrassment. “I hate him.”

“No you don’t.”

He sighed in agreement. “No I don’t. Hey, Charlie?”

“Mhmm?”

“Have you ever… fallen for someone?”

She added an item to her cart. “Umm, yeah, sure. A few times.”

“… what does it feel like?”

She lowered her phone to look first at Dean, then at Gabriel and back. “Oh.”

He glared. “Don’t you ‘oh’ me.”

“I just uh… um, it feels like falling from a cliff, but in a good way. Like you know what’s at the bottom is worth it.” She squinted up at the sky. “Kinda feels like magnetism.”

“Magnetism I get.”

“Yeah, figured. I had a girlfriend once that was big into robots. She made me one that could identify different sodas, so I’d just tell it ‘Sprite’ and it would get me one. She loved me to the point of invention.” There was something else in Charlie’s eyes, like she wanted to say something but wouldn’t. “Find the way you love. Then see who it falls on.”

“Never said I was falling for anyone. I was just making conversation.”

“And here I was, thinking we were closer than lying to each other.” She gave him a pointed look.

“I swear I was never this transparent to people before.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

“Well. Can you describe it?”

Dean looked at Gabriel, who was now jamming on an air guitar to music he couldn’t hear. “Kinda like a microcosm of him in my head.”

“You should write that down. How logically poetic.”

He frowned. “All memories are just microcosms of people.”

She studied him quietly, like she was trying to find the words he wouldn’t say. “Then what else does it feel like?”

He watched Gabriel dance badly, something deep within him doing something he would describe as _aching_ if he believed in poetry. “Like… existing.”

She snorted. “Good luck figuring it out, then. I mean, you look at Gabriel and you feel like you finally exist? Idk man, sounds pretty generic to me.”

“Shut up.”

She laughed. “You said you love me and Cas. That was easy. Why are you making this so hard?”

“I dunno. It’s just… different.”

“Yeah, Dean.” She went back to scrolling on her phone. “It’s different.”

—

When Dean finally got his phone back, he rolled his eyes, cheeks red.

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:25pm_ ** _[attachment removed]_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:27pm_ ** _oh my god did you just drop your phone into no man’s land_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:28pm_ ** _YOU DIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:29pm_ ** _hey Cassie :)_

Dean could just go ahead and die right now, please and thank you.

 **_[Byron] 12:45pm_ ** _first off, fuck you_

 **_[Byron] 12:46pm_ ** _second off, how the hell did you remove that pic from my phone without even touching it_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:46pm_ ** _again?_

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:47pm_ ** _trade secret_

Dean rolled his eyes and went back into his house, opening up the new script he had been sent earlier that morning.

He made some small edits and checked his phone, where he had one missed message.

 **_[Gabrosie] 12:50pm_ ** _if you want it back you’ll have to bribe me_

 **_[Byron] 1:38pm_ ** _what makes you think I want it back?_

 **_[Gabrosie] 1:40pm_ ** _alright cool I’ll just go ahead and delete it forever then_

 **_[Byron] 1:40pm_ ** _hold your horses_

 **_[Byron] 1:41pm_ ** _if I make you some cookies, would you give me the pic?_

 **_[Gabrosie] 1:43pm_ ** _now when you say cookies……..?_

 **_[Byron] 1:44pm_ ** _trade secret_

 **_[Gabrosie] 1:45pm_ ** _oh boy what could possibly go wrong accepting cookies from a chemist?! deal_

 **_[Gabrosie] 1:47pm_ ** _also I’m done setting up everything for the experiment so whenever you’re ready your highness_

Dean pushed himself back from his desk to peek outside, where there were indeed two tables and two cameras set up. Gabe waved broadly at him, in another dress that bounced when he moved.

 **_[Byron] 1:49pm_ ** _you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you_

 **_[Gabrosie] 1:50pm_ ** _constantly_

—

“So I just—“

Gabriel motioned absently. “Sit there. Gimme a minute to calibrate everything.”

Dean sat down in a wooden chair, watching Gabe with no small amount of concern. “Your dress has a bunch of lightning bolts on it.”

“I’m going to electrocute you,” Gabe deadpanned.

“Oh, good. That’ll be fun for the kiddos to watch.”

“Be sure to give some good twitches so they can set it to music later on.” He flipped some switches on a small machine. “Cameras are rolling, by the way.”

Dean blinked in surprise at his own camera. “Oh! Um, hey everyone. I’m Dean, that’s Gabe, and we’re E=MC Queered. I’m… not entirely sure what today’s experiment is, if I’m honest. Gabe is in charge of this one.”

Gabriel gave the camera a huge smile. “Today we’re learning about circuits!”

Dean craned his neck to look at what Gabriel was fiddling with. “Uh, whatcha got there, Gabe?”

Gabriel ignored him, choosing instead to stage-whisper to the camera, “Dean thinks I’m going to blow him up.” He held up a piece of paper. “But don’t worry! I had professionals run tests on this, and it is certified to Probably Not Explode!”

“I’m not sure I feel any better about this now.”

“Alright, kids. Lab safety is important, even when your lab is your own front yard. That is why Dean and I will be putting on our face masks, since I’ll have to walk this over to him.”

Dean took his cue and put his face mask on, one eyebrow raised as Gabe made his way over. “Should I be worried?”

“Close your eyes.”

“I’m very worried,” Dean said, even as he complied.

“Aw, don’t be. I don’t bite.” Gabe’s fingers were against Dean’s arms. “Well, no, that’s a lie. I definitely bite.”

“This is a kid’s show!”

“I can edit it out! Relax.”

“Kinda hard to relax when I feel like I’m sitting in an electric chair.”

“You are. We’ve been over this.”

“That isn’t funny right now.”

“Yeah, yeah. You can open your eyes, you anxious ass.”

Dean opened his eyes and looked down at his forearm, where a thick black band was around it. “What is this.”

“A circuit.”

“Gabe,” Dean warned.

Gabriel tilted his head, running a knuckle up the side of Dean’s neck absently before quickly walking back over to his own table.

Dean felt… sweaty.

“What you all see before you is the tail end of a circuit. It connects wirelessly to this box in front of me. When the band sends certain signals to this box, the box sends a signal back, and the band triggers its own circuit. I’ll show you how it works.” He turned to Dean and pulled his mask off. “How are you today?”

Dean followed suit. “Tired.”

“Why are you tired?”

“You,” he challenged.

“Are you a Taylor Swift fan?”

“What? No, why would I—“ Dean let out a sharp curse and yanked his arm to his chest. _“What the fuck?!”_

Gabriel gestured towards Dean, taking a mocking bow to the camera. “I present to my enraptured audience: a lie detector.”

“It fucking _shocked_ me!” He pushed fruitlessly at the band.

“Ah ah ah, I’m the only one who can get that off. Special adhesive.” He meandered closer to Dean, stopping at six feet away. “It only shocks you if you lie.”

“Take it off.”

“Mmm, no. I don’t think I will.” There was something serious and dark in Gabriel’s eyes, something that pinned Dean to his seat. “Actually, I think you and I need to have a little _talk.”_


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they may have actually _gained_ one braincell this chapter!  
> which still puts them at negative two but y'know

Dean swallowed nervously. “I think we’re good.” He looked anxiously to the band around his arm.

“Are we?”

“Yes.” He winced, expecting a shock that didn’t come.

“We’re good, then. According to you.” Gabriel paced slowly, methodically, and Dean could easily imagine him as a warrior. A leader. “Tell me, Dean…” He leaned in, close but not too close. Close enough that Dean could feel his face heating up. “What’s your favorite color?”

“What.”

Gabriel broke out into a grin. “Your favorite color. Dean. What is it?”

“… It’s silver.”

“Bougie.” Gabe leaned back and laughed at his expression. “Why the weird face, Winchester?”

“Did you _seriously_ pull all of this just so you could ask me meaningless questions?!”

“Your favorite color isn’t meaningless!” Gabe shrugged, the dress bouncing easily. “You said you wanted to know me. And I wanna know you. So here we are.”

Dean gestured to the band. “Is the shock value really necessary?”

“Asks the man who trapped me in my own house and dyed me red.”

“You know, I think I hate you.” He grit his teeth and tried not to move as the band shocked him.

“You like me.”

“Not a chance.” Dean hissed as his arm jerked.

Gabriel’s eyes lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree. “Ha! I knew you liked me!”

“What gave it away? Saying you’re my best friend?”

“I think it was the constant theft of my personal shirts.”

“Theft? You practically _beg_ me to take your clothes.”

“Oh sweetheart I don’t beg for _anything.”_ Gabe winked at him. “What’s your favorite food?”

Dean sighed dramatically. “It’s called Winchester Surprise. I’ll make it for you sometime.”

“Oh yeah? What else would we do on our first date?”

“Who said _anything_ about a date?”

“I did. Just now. So. Spill. Perfect first date.”

Dean leaned his head back and thought hard, seeing what half-truths he might could get away with. “The perfect first date would be a drive-in movie, then a family-owned burger joint, then sitting outside with some wine and seeing where the night takes us.”

“Bone Town. The night would take us to Bone Town. Like, one-way trip, zero stops.”

“I never said it was _us._ Just a generic perfect first date.”

“Hm. Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

“Not in this chair.”

“Oh, c’mon.” Gabriel _leered_ at him. “You’re impressed and you like it.”

“…Maybe.” There was something Charlie had said about inventions that Dean _refused_ to remember.

“Ten years, Dean. Where do you see yourself?”

Dean thought about it and was taken aback with how clearly he could see this same scenario ten years down the line, Gabriel still being an attractive ball of absolute chaos, and himself still being annoyed and enamored with it.

And he sure as _hell_ couldn’t admit that.

“Somewhere,” he finally said. “Doing something.”

“Winchester.”

“I never really expected to make it this long, so I never bothered coming up with a plan.” There. That wasn’t a lie. It didn’t really answer the question, but it was close enough.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Then come up with one _now.”_

Dean returned the gesture mockingly. “Tell you what. In ten years time, you can run this exact experiment over again. Then I’ll be doing this same thing in ten years.”

Gabe whipped out his phone. “Let me set a reminder.”

“You’re so lame that it physically pains me.” His fist tightened involuntarily as the current coursed briefly across his arm.

Gabe smiled, genuine, before letting the expression curl to a grin. “So in ten years, you see yourself still with me. That’s good to know.”

“I mean, you weren’t planning on running off anytime soon, were you? We have mortgages, you know. You can’t just up and _leave_ very easy.”

“Aww, Deanie, I’m touched. Would you miss me if I left?”

Dean looked in despair at the band before gritting out, “Yes.”

“What would you miss most?” Gabriel was crouched, arms resting haphazardly on his thighs.

And god, there were so many things. More than Dean cared to name, or even think about much longer. “I’d really prefer not to answer that question.”

“Why? Because it’s something not kid friendly?” Gabe winked suggestively.

He fidgeted in his seat. “Because it makes me sad.”

Gabe’s eyes cast briefly to the band, then the box. “Huh,” he said, as if he was mildly surprised at the answer. “Don’t worry. You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

“Life would be ah… pretty boring without you around.”

Gabe laughed, throwing his head back so the sun shone golden on his cheeks. “Lemme get this straight. Life would be boring without me, you’d be sad if I left, and in ten years you see yourself still putting up with me. Why, Winchester, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were falling in love with me.”

Gabriel giggled and looked back to Dean, who was not, as he originally thought, laughing with him.

No, Dean looked like a deer in the headlights.

The smile faded gently from Gabe’s face, still clinging just barely to its edges. “Dude. Did you hear me?”

“I… heard you.”

Gabe’s eyes bounced all over Dean’s face, like he was trying to pry all the molecules apart to see inside his head. “Wait.”

“I really think we should—“

“Are you falling in love with me?”

Dean was caught, because it would be just as much of a lie to say _no_ as it would be to certainly say _yes._ The truth was that he just didn’t know, and that answer would only bring more questions that he just couldn’t _deal with_ today.

“I…” Dean took a deep breath in and, just as he was about to let it out, let out a startled scream instead, eyes glued somewhere behind Gabriel.

Gabe turned around quickly, hands raised, ready to fight. They dropped almost immediately. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

A buck walked down the street, regarding the two of them warily.

Dean fell backwards out of his chair, scrambling away. “What the _fuck_ is that?!”

Gabriel squinted at him. “Whayl, here in th’ hollers, we call that there a ‘deer’,” he deadpanned, fake southern accent thick.

Dean glared right back at him. “I know what a _deer_ is, asshole! I meant why is it _here?!”_

Gabe watched the buck look around timidly, stepping slowly and carefully their way. “I’ve heard the wildlife has been wandering into cities, since there are less people to deter them.”

Dean made a shoo motion with his hand. “Go on, little Bambi,” he called out. “Go back home.”

Gabe snorted as the buck approached Dean. “That ain’t gonna work, cowpoke.”

Dean ducked behind his table, face pale. “Make it leave!” he hissed.

“I’m not a deer whisperer.”

Dean yelped as the buck sniffed at his table. _“Gabriel!”_

Gabe laughed at Dean’s face and held out a hand. “C’mere, baby brother.” Something about his voice or his words worked, because the buck left Dean and wandered over to him. “You’re lost, aren’t you? Don’t know your way around this big city?”

The buck sniffed the air cautiously.

“Dean’s a big scaredy cat, but I can lead you home.” The buck stopped close to Gabriel. “There, see? Not so scary, right? I’m not gonna hurt ya.” He laid his hand gently on its snout.

“Oh _please_ be careful!” Dean called out to him.

“It’s a _deer.”_

“It has horns!”

Gabriel raised one unamused eyebrow and kissed the top of its head. “They’re called antlers. C’mon baby, let’s get you home.”

He silently thanked the universe that they lived close to the edge of town. It took maybe twenty minutes to walk the deer to the woods, Dean following far behind with his camera, recording.

Gabe took a deep breath in of the forest air. “Feels like I was just here this morning,” he snarked before giving the buck a friendly pat. “There’s your home. Go on.”

It munched thoughtfully on Gabriel’s dress.

Gabe chuckled while Dean made some extremely worried sound.

“Leave him a-alone!” he yelled out, voice cracking.

Gabe raised one eyebrow at him. “I’m not hurting him.”

“Not you!”

“He’s not hurting me.” Gabe gave him a reassuring smile. “Promise.”

The deer finally made its lumbering way to the woods, stopping to look back at the two of them before meandering into the brush.

They both stared for a moment, before Gabe finally cleared his throat. “I’ll get that thing off you when we get back to the tables.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Dean mumbled back, rubbing at his arm. “How did you do… that?”

“Homestead, remember? Had to herd deer off the property tons of times.”

“Oh, huh.”

“Animals like me.”

“Humans are animals.”

Gabe glanced over at him, eyes betraying nothing. “Yeah. They are.”

—

Gabe scrubbed through the footage, laughing to himself at all the small curses Dean had whispered as he followed Gabe and the deer.

He watched Dean warn the deer not to hurt him, and saw himself turn back to the camera and smile at Dean, all sunlight and cheekbones.

The footage dropped after that, like Dean had stopped worrying about holding the camera steady. There was this soft, almost… _amazed?…_ “Oh.”

Just like that. Dean yelled, Gabe turned and smiled, and then, Dean, softly, “Oh.”

Gabe filed that away for later.

He hit export and leaned back for what was likely going to take thirty minutes, but a pop-up window had him leaning back forward.

**_File audio must be trimmed to match video length. Trim?_ **

Gabriel furrowed his brows and hit cancel, going back to the video. There shouldn’t be a timing discrepancy.

He watched it all through again, watched Dean’s eyes flutter as he briefly touched the side of his neck, watched the humor in Dean’s eyes as he interrogated him, watched the admiration as he ‘saved’ Dean from the deer, watched as he smiled and Dean said, “Oh.”

The video cut off almost immediately, which is where Gabe had hit export. But the audio ran on, just for another few seconds.

It was soft, and Gabe realized Dean had forgotten that his earpiece was what recorded the sound, not the camera.

He realized, because Dean said, “I think I might be.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could this have been two chapters? yes  
> is it? no
> 
> (also this chapter comes with a gay chicken warning, meaning to say, it is not the cleanest of chapters)

Gabe raised an eyebrow at his screen as a notification popped up.

**_New friend request from Sam Winchester._ **

He hit accept, and immediately a message window popped open.

**_Sam 3:18pm_ ** _oh my god I’ve been sending you friend requests all day_

**_Sam 3:19pm_ ** _I’m Dean’s brother, btw_

**_Gabriel 3:20pm_ ** _heard about you once or ten times, yeah_

**_Gabriel 3:20pm_ ** _also sorry, I get a lot of friend requests from listeners so I just don’t really check them often_

**_Gabriel 3:21pm_ ** _plz tell me you have embarrassing photos to send me_

**_Sam 3:22pm_ ** _better_

**_Gabriel 3:22pm_ ** _oh? consider me intrigued_

**_Sam 3:23pm_ ** _the file is too big to send over messenger. You got an email I can send something to?_

**_Gabriel 3:24pm_ ** _yeah sure, it’s gabethebabe@gmail.com_

**_Sam 3:24pm_ ** _ugh you’re ridiculously perfect for him, sending it now_

**_Gabriel 3:25pm_ ** _not gonna dignify that with a response_

**_Gabriel 3:25pm_ ** _your brother is throwing rocks at my window, brb_

Gabe rolled his chair back and threw open the window, dodging an ill-timed rock. “What?” he called out.

Dean pointed to the front of his house. “I left the cookies on your welcome mat.”

“Cookies?”

“For our trade!”

“Oh! Hold on.” Gabe got up and trotted downstairs, to his front door. He opened it, grabbed the cookies from the red-stained mat, and walked merrily back upstairs to the window. “Thanks!”

“They’re—“ Dean looked around at the neighborhood. “Y’know. Just. Don’t eat more than like, one in a rush or two slowly.”

“Don’t tell me how to enjoy cookies, Winchester!” Gabe took a bite out of one. “Wait these are legitimately good.”

“I’m offended you thought they wouldn’t be.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “So. Your end.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, no. I deleted that picture entirely. But hey! Thanks for the cookies!” He closed his window on the sounds of betrayal.

**_Gabriel 3:34pm_ ** _sorry your brother wanted nudes_

**_Sam 3:35pm_ ** _typical_

Gabe laughed out loud, going to refresh his email and finishing off his cookie.

**_Gabriel 3:36pm_ ** _has Dean always been an amazing cook or am I just special_

**_Sam: 3:36pm_ ** _always been amazing_

**_Sam 3:37pm_ ** _don’t tell him that though, it’ll go to his head_

**_Gabriel 3:37pm_ ** _can’t imagine_

**_Sam 3:39pm_ ** _email is taking forever to send so I guess just check for it tonight sometime. Jess and I suspect our neighbors have been stealing our wifi…_

**_Gabriel 3:40pm_ ** _call em out on it. change your wifi name to something like “get ur own wifi u fuckin moochers”_

**_Sam Winchester_** **_sent an attachment._**

Gabe grinned at the screenshot of the available wifi networks, where one read “if you steal wifi and you know it, so do we” and the two beneath it both read “Clap clap”.

**_Gabriel 3:43pm_ ** _ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well!_

**_Sam 3:51pm_ ** _gtg, Jess and I are making a tiktok_

**_Gabriel 3:52pm_ ** _link me your channel sometime, have fun you crazy kids_

Gabe opened his audio editor, headphones on and fixing an interview he had done a few days ago. It wasn’t due for a bit but, he had nothing else to do. He munched absently on another cookie, frowning at the background noise in the interview. “Damn clients can’t even be in a quiet room like I ask,” he mumbled to himself.

It only took maybe fifteen minutes for him to push away from his desk, scowling. “I wanna go talk to Cassie,” he said, also to himself, before changing into shorts and one of Dean’s shirts.

He left the house, cookie between his lips.

—

Gabriel knocked on Castiel’s front door, frowning. “Come outside!”

He listened as the back door opened and Castiel waved from the other side of the fence. “What’s up?”

Gabe trotted over to him, leaning his elbows along the fence. “I was thinking we should snuggle.”

Cas squinted at him. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“You’re being sweet. That’s worrying. I thought it was _my_ turn on our prank war, seeing as I saw your naked self on Dean’s phone.”

Gabe bounced on his toes. “Have you seen Dean?”

“Recently? No, I haven’t.”

“He’s a _great_ cook. I see why you trade food with him!”

Castiel turned around just in time to see Dean coming out of his house to talk to them. “Hey,” Dean called out.

Cas rubbed at his temples. “What did you do.”

“I didn’t do anything. At least, I don’t think I did.”

Gabe pointed. “That’s not true! He made great cookies!” He leaned in conspiratorially. “Double plus good cookies.”

Dean laughed. “Oh my god man, how many did you _eat?”_

Gabe shrugged, laying his head down on his arms. “I dunno. Maybe four?”

“I told you to eat one!”

“They’re _cookies,_ Dean. Made for me by a very attractive man. Of _course_ I was going to eat a lot of them.”

Castiel leveled a Look at Gabriel. “You. Accepted cookies. From Dean. And ate more than the recommended amount.”

“They. Are. _Cookies.”_

Cas groaned, cursing quietly. “You’re stoned, Gabriel.”

“No I’m not?”

Cas whipped around to glare at Dean. “Did you not _tell_ him?!”

Dean’s face was pale. “I thought he knew! I made it super obvious! He even brought up me being a chemist when I mentioned the cookies!”

Gabe looked back and forth between them before it clicked. “Ohhhh. When you said trade secret, you meant _weed_ cookies.”

Cas motioned to Dean. “Get in my car. Make this easy on yourself.”

“Okay look he’ll be _fine,_ there’s no need to murder me!”

“You’re responsible for whatever he does tonight.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, okay. That’s fair.”

“I suppose our social distancing ends tonight, then. Wait here.” He jogged into his home, coming out with what looked like a handheld label maker. He aimed it at Gabriel’s forehead and waited a moment. “Good, he doesn’t have a fever.”

“Is he supposed to?”

“Hm? No, no. Just preparing for the inevitability of him breaking into my home to snuggle me.” Castiel raised his eyebrows at Dean, hiding a grin. “Would you like me to take your temperature as well?”

“No,” Dean said, much too quickly.

“If neither of you have fevers, then—“

“No. I can’t… I can’t handle—” He scowled and looked away.

Cas rolled his eyes. “Fine. I will leave you your plausible deniability.” There was a beeping noise, and Cas looked at the reading. “I won’t tell you what it says.”

Dean nodded without saying anything.

“Good luck, Dean. You’re going to need it.” He walked towards his home.

“Hey!” Dean called out. “Where are you going?”

“Ah, to bolt down anything I don’t want stolen.” He jerked his head towards Gabriel. “He turns into a kleptomaniac when he’s high.”

Dean turned to observe Gabriel as the door closed. “You don’t wanna steal anything, do ya?”

“No.” Gabe turned his head and spotted a rainbow flag in Garth’s lawn. “Yes.” He jogged over that way as Dean cursed and ran back inside his own house to grab a mask.

Gabe was almost to the flag when a mask was slapped onto his face and he was dragged away.

“No, nope, no theft tonight!” Dean gritted out, dragging a struggling Gabriel back to his lawn and _oh my god oh my god he’s so warm calm down Winchester_

Gabriel’s hands were out, making little grabby motions. “Want!!!”

“I’ll buy you one later!”

“I want _that_ one!”

“You can’t _have_ that one!”

Gabe’s eyes fell on Dean’s house. “Oh, oh I want _that.”_

Dean cursed as Gabe slipped out of his arms and ran towards his door. “Fuck fuck fuck— Gabriel! _NO!”_

Gabe slammed the door behind him.

Dean ran full speed, following him into his own home and up the stairs.

“Where is your nerf gun?!” Gabe called out.

“Get out of my house!”

“No!”

“Gabriel!”

“FOUND IT!”

“GIVE IT BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT!” Dean dove to the right to avoid a dart headed straight for his forehead.

Gabe laughed triumphantly, taking off again. “Hey, that’s my band poster!”

Before Dean could so much as get up, Gabe was down the stairs and running out the door. Dean shouted out a curse and ran after him.

“What is your goddamned problem?!” Dean yelled, running him down.

“I want you naked beside me!” Gabe yelled back, eyes bright and gun loaded.

Dean looked around, face red. “This is a _neighborhood!”_

“Come here and kiss me!”

“You know I can’t!”

“Then I’ll get Cassie to kiss me!” Gabe was off again, running to Castiel’s door and knocking loudly. “CASSIE!”

Castiel flung open the door, grin wide, and laughed as Gabriel grabbed him and spun him around, dropping the gun.

“Oh! How I have _missed you!”_ Gabriel sang, holding him close.

“Yes, well, it has been over two weeks that you’ve been quarantined and you do not have a fever so— _mph!”_ Gabriel cut him off with a kiss before throwing his head back and laughing.

Cas’s face was red as he laughed too. “Put me down, you ass,” he giggled. “Go kiss someone who _wants_ to kiss you.”

“Do you mean Dean?”

Dean put his hands out. “Woah, no no no, I do _not_ want a kiss!”

Charlie peered out from the doorway, eyebrows raised. “What’s going—“ She too was picked up and spun by Gabriel.

“Charlie!” he called out. “Charlie I want to kiss you too! I kissed Cassie and now I’ve gotta kiss you and then I’ll kiss Dean and then I’ll have kissed everyone!”

Charlie snorted and kissed him briefly. “Disgusting,” she informed him, eyes glittering mischievously.

Cas’s shoulders were shaking with mirth. “Couldn’t agree more,” he teased.

Gabriel sat her down and turned to Dean, arms spread wide. “Dean,” he said seriously. “Dean I’m gonna kiss you, and it’s not gonna be like those two kisses because those were _platonic_ kisses and I want to kiss you very deeply and sexually.”

“I _can’t,”_ Dean stressed.

“You _want_ to kiss me! I know you do!”

Dean fidgeted, looking around. “Not here, Gabe.”

“Then where?” He huffed, brows creased in frustration. “I wanna kiss you. I’ll tell the whole goddamned world.”

“You are _high,_ Gabriel. Go back home, go eat some normal food, watch Netflix, and fall asleep like a normal person!”

“Come with me!”

“I CAN’T!”

“Then I’m gonna steal that flag!” Gabriel ran before Dean could react and grabbed the pride flag before Dean could tackle him. He ran in circles, Dean tailing, screaming, “GAY PRIDE! GAY PRIDE! GAY PRIDE!”

“GIVE THAT BACK!”

Gabe turned around and stuck his tongue out. “Kiss me and I will!”

“Damn you!!!”

“How about _I_ just kiss _you?”_ Gabriel ran full-speed at Dean, who yelped and ran the other direction, staying out of arm’s reach.

_“GABRIEL!”_

“Byron!”

Dean ran to his own door, fumbling with his keys as for _some goddamned reason_ it locked when they ran out.

There was a body quickly pressed against his back, lined up against him, and he thumped his forehead on his door. “Gabriel.”

“Byron.”

“We’ve talked about this. Social distancing.”

“I put my mask back on!” Gabe’s hands were braced on either side of him.

“You know as well as I that this is a bad idea.”

“Turn around and face me, Winchester.”

He swallowed harshly. “Also a bad idea.”

Gabriel’s thigh was making its way slowly between Dean’s own, tracing up. “Tell me to stop then. Tell me to stop my incessant flirting. I’ll do it. Just say the word.”

Dean sighed in defeat, closed his eyes, and said nothing.

“That’s what I thought,” Gabe whispered against his ear, rocking his thigh. “So why don’t you and I—“

Dean retreated into the house and locked the door behind him.

Gabe pounded his fist against it. “Boooooooo,” he called out. “Let me in!”

“Go _home,_ Gabriel!” Dean yelled back, voice cracking.

Gabriel’s eyes trailed up the side of Dean’s house. “I’ve got a better idea,” he mumbled to himself, staring down the window opposite his own.

—

Dean ran his hands over his face, back pressed against his front door, still burning from where Gabriel had been pressed against him.

Gabriel.

Pressed against him.

He walked slowly to his room, trying to clear his head. He needed… a shower. Or something. A cold shower, because his brain was running places it really shouldn’t be.

He opened his bedroom door and almost screamed.

Gabriel waved broadly from where he sat on the bed. “Heya, Winchester!”

“How did you—?!” he spotted the open widow, understanding dawning on his face. “Gabriel. Get out.”

“Make me?”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “This isn’t happening.”

“I like your room. It’s cozy.” He slipped off the bed. “Bet we could make it cozier.”

_“Gabriel.”_

“Oh, _relax._ I’m gonna stay six feet away.” He smirked. “But. Y’know. I _did_ promise you a naked photo so…” He toyed with the edge of his shirt. “I figured you could take it yourself.”

Dean inhaled sharply. “You Jezebel,” he accused shakily.

“Maybe.”

Dean shook his head and retreated into his bathroom, locking the door behind him.

 _“Coward!”_ Gabriel yelled. “Come out and make out with me like a man!”

“That is ten kinds of messed up!” Dean yelled back.

“It’s not messed up! It makes perfect sense!” Gabriel cast his eyes around the room, suddenly highly aware of how much… _stuff_ there was. “Oh. I want that.”

Dean tensed. “Gabriel! You _better_ not be stealing anything!”

“I’m not!” He saw the webcam on Dean’s desktop and pulled out the ethernet cable. He wasn’t an _idiot._ With just a few clicks, the camera was open and Gabe hit record. “I’m doing something better.”

“You’re giving me anxiety.”

Gabe winked at the camera and pulled his shirt — previously _Dean’s_ shirt — off slowly. “Yeah? Want me to leave?”

“I already said that!”

“Sure, sure. Just like you said you hated me, right?” He blew a kiss at the computer.

“Oh, get fucked.”

“I am _trying to!”_ He undid his shorts. “Admit it, Dean. You’re gone on me. I drive you crazy. You _want_ me.”

“…If I admit it will you leave?”

“Probably not.”

“Then what’s my incentive?”

“If you admit it, I won’t delete the video I’m currently recording.”

“…what video?”

Gabriel threw his shorts at the bathroom door. “That sound was my shorts. Which are off. Like my shirt.”

“You’re going to kill me. You’re going to kill me from the other side of a door.”

“Dean. We’ve been over this. I’m not into necrophilia.”

“Motherfucker.”

“I repeat my previous statement.” He pulled his boxers off, staring down the camera. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, Dean?” Gabe put one foot against the bed and pushed slightly, just enough for the bedsprings to creak.

“…what was that?”

Gabe winked at the camera and looked towards the bathroom door. “Dean,” he moaned, dramatically wanton. “I need you.”

“One day! It has been _one day_ since we did this!”

“Aw, is your refractory period that long?” Gabriel tossed his boxers at the door. “One guess what that was.”

Dean thumped his head against the door. “Don’t do this to me.”

Gabe stuck his tongue out at the camera before begging breathlessly, “Come out here and take me, Dean.”

_“Damn you!”_

Gabe covered his laugh with another fake, gasping breath. “I’ll be good.” He pouted at the camera before rolling his eyes and investigating the room. “You can even tie me up so I won’t do anything _naughty.”_ He picked up a pair of jean shorts and put them on.

“This is evil. You’re evil.”

Gabe picked up an army man absently. “I wish my hand was yours.” He put it in his pocket and silently opened a drawer. “I want your mouth all over me again.”

“Killing me. You’re killing me, Gabe.”

“Would you be rough with me?” Gabe grabbed the entire contents of Dean’s underwear drawer and dropped them out the window for later retrieval. “What if I asked you to? What if I _begged?”_

Dean made a strangled noise.

“Dean, I—“ Gabe fake-hitched his voice. “I need to hear you.” He opened a password journal before pocketing it. His eyes fell on something shiny.

“Gabriel…” Dean’s voice sounded hollow and broken, like only the barest tendril of self-control was keeping him from barging out to Gabe.

Gabriel pocketed the keys to Baby. “Tell me— tell me you want me. Tell me I’m _yours.”_

“I…” Dean cursed. “I… I want you. I’m yours.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows in surprise at the slip. “Touch yourself.”

“Gabe—“

“Pretend it’s me.” He put on another one of Dean’s shirts.

“Fuck—“

“Me. Fuck me. Come out here, push me against the bed, and fuck me.” House keys. Nice.

“I will! Just… not tonight. Gabe. You’re torturing me here.”

“Yeah? Do you _enjoy_ being tortured by me, Winchester?”

“Maybe.” Dean made some small sound. “Yes.”

Gabe looked up at the fan and briefly wondered if he could take the blades from it. “Just a few seconds. That’s all I need. Then I can handcuff you to the bed like you’ve wanted all along and you won’t have to agonize over whether or not you can allow yourself that.” He looked around the room, eyes falling on a small tool kit. “Where do you keep your handcuffs, Winchester?”

“I—“

Gabe stood on the bed, letting it creak suggestively beneath his weight as he began unscrewing a fan blade. “Because I could always handcuff _me_ instead. And you’d have to come help me eventually, you know. You couldn’t leave me there forever.” He laid the first blade down silently. Four more to go. “Would you play with me first?”

“I can’t… I can’t take this, Gabriel. This isn’t fair.”

“Would you touch all the parts of me you keep staring at? Would you taste every inch of me until I’m breathless and begging you to just _fuck_ me already?”

Dean hissed, one hand hitting the door in frustration. _“Damn you!”_

“Do you want me to beg for it?” Gabe laid the last fan blade down and got off the bed noisily. _“Right now?”_

“So help me Gabe if you start then I can’t promise I have the self-control to stay behind this door.”

Gabe smirked. “I want you,” he drawled. “I want you so bad I can feel it in my bones. I want you to pin me down with your strong arms and do every filthy thing you’ve thought about me.” He eyed Dean’s phone on the bedside table.

Dean groaned, both hands still against the door though they longed to be about ten _other_ places. “I want to kiss you,” he whispered so quietly Gabe almost didn’t hear it.

And Gabe didn’t actually know what to do with that, so he returned to his original plan. “Dean— I need you to— I need— Tell me to—“ Gabe tucked the tool kit and phone into the duffel he found to carry the fan blades.

“Come for me, baby,” Dean muttered, eyes squeezed shut.

Gabe opened his closet and pulled down every shirt he could find, letting out a hiccuping moan, Dean’s name forming as half-syllables on his tongue. He tossed every single shirt out the window. “You’re so— you’re so fucking sexy.”

Dean laughed. “Says the man filming a goddamn porno in my room.”

Gabe smirked at the camera.

“I want out,” Dean said.

“What’s stopping you?”

“I can’t. You know I can’t.”

Gabe made sure to be quiet as he unplugged Dean’s lamp and tossed it gently onto the mound of clothes two stories down. “I want you.”

“I want you, too,” Dean admitted softly.

“Call me baby again?”

“…I want you, baby.”

Gabe considered the laptop. “When will you be able to come out here and shut me up yourself?”

“When I get back from seeing my niece. When she’s born.”

“Then she’d better hurry up and get evicted from that uterus.”

Dean snorted.

Gabe tucked the laptop under his arm and grabbed the duffel, then also grabbed Dean’s comforter for good measure. “Dean? I’m leaving now, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You were really fucking great tonight.” He winked at the camera before exiting via the front door, swinging to the side for the rest of his haul.

Dean looked down at his own pants which were way too tight now. “Goddammit,” he whispered. He ran a hand over his face and tried to come to terms with the fact that he would never be sane again. It was one thing jacking off _with_ Gabriel. It was another entirely to get rock hard listening to _Gabriel_ jack off.

He finally unlocked his bathroom door and stepped out into his room to grab some clothes for his — cold — shower.

His underwear drawer was empty.

“What the fuck?” he muttered, looking around the room and suddenly realizing how bare it was.

His eyes fell on his desktop, still recording.

He hit the stop button and opened the video, face growing redder by the minute.

_“GABRIEL_ **_FUCKING_ ** _SHURLEY!”_

Gabe heard him yell from his own house, safely nestled in a cocoon of Dean’s clothes, pride flag tucked in new fan blades, and laughed his ass off.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear this wasn't supposed to be a slow burn

Castiel opened his door to an immediate armful of Gabriel.

“Hello,” Cas said, smile quirking at the edges of his lips. “I see you are still high.”

Gabe nuzzled his face into Castiel’s neck. “Mmhm.”

Cas checked his watch behind Gabriel’s head. “It’s only five. I assumed it would be closer to seven that you came over again. Dinner isn’t ready yet.”

Gabe hummed in acknowledgment and Cas rolled his eyes, closing the door and waddling them into the kitchen.

“I have to cook, so I need two inches of wiggle room to turn around.”

Gabe grumbled but complied, letting Cas turn around before latching onto him again, face smushed between his shoulder blades.

Charlie snapped a photo on her phone and grinned at them. “Adorable. I didn’t know Gabe was so snuggly.”

Castiel was stirring something in a bowl. “In general, yes, but especially so when he’s high. He’s always been this way. Well, no, that’s a lie. He wasn’t this way when we were very young.” He sat down the bowl and walked them over to his cutting board. “During the cult phase of our lives, it was communal living, and all the kids shared a bed. The other kids weren’t quite so… fond of us, I should say, so Gabriel always made sure I had the outside of the bed, and he would be beside me as a shield. It just usually wound up as a _snuggling_ shield.”

Gabe held Castiel just a little tighter. “It’s safety,” he murmured.

Cas reached back to ruffle his hair as best he could. “Yes, I know. Snuggling is safety.”

Charlie sighed. “Dude, every time you tell me about your childhood, I’m just that much more amazed you both turned out as great as you did.”

Cas shot her an amused look. “Oh, did we turn out great? Gabriel, how many things did you steal today?”

Gabriel’s head perked up and he rested his chin on Castiel’s shoulder. _“So many._ I lifted Dean’s entire room.”

Castiel chuckled quietly. “Is that so?”

“Fan blades and _everything.”_ He reached into his pocket and held out a phone. “This is Dean’s, too!”

Charlie laughed loudly while Castiel shook his head. “What a cute photo of you.”

“Hm?” He looked at the lock screen. “Oh, yeah. Huh. I didn’t send him that.”

Charlie leaned forward, grinning. “Dude. Dean’s got it bad for you.”

“Which is understandable,” Gabe agreed, eyes wide. He held the phone out to her. “Can you unlock it?”

“Duh.”

“Oh wait someone’s calling.” He looked at the screen before swiping up and hitting speaker. “Howdy.”

“Gabriel?”

Gabe sat the phone down so he could properly snuggle Castiel again. “This is Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Hello, Sam.”

“Cas!” Sam exclaimed in surprise. “How have you been, man?”

“I’ve been quite well. Currently I’m making ratatouille. Charlie won’t stop insisting we watch the related film. How are you and Jess?”

“We’re great! Baby’s due any day now.”

“That’s wonderful,” Cas replied, smiling. “Have you decided on a name?”

“We’ve got it narrowed down, but we’re gonna wait til we see her to announce it for sure.”

“That’s a valid course of action.” Cas began lining the cut vegetables in a baking dish. “I know you called looking for Dean, but I’m afraid he isn’t here. Just his phone.”

“Oh I know. Believe me, I know. He video chatted me red in the face about it. Wouldn’t tell me how the hell Gabriel managed to steal an entire room from under his nose, though.”

“Black magic!” Gabe piped up.

“Of course,” Sam responded. “The email finally went through, by the way.”

“Intriguing,” Gabe said, nodding against Castiel’s back. “I’ll watch it soon.”

“Really soon. I think Dean might murder you before the night is over.”

“I’d like to see him try!” Gabe propped his chin on Castiel’s shoulder again, watching him cook. “Does he ever talk about me?”

“Literally all the time. Constantly. He doesn’t talk about anything else.” Another voice piped up from somewhere a bit farther away on the line, a woman confirming the truth of the statement.

Charlie shrugged. “Told ya. He’s gone on you.”

Gabe scowled. “Then what is he so afraid of?” He grabbed a carrot to stick in his pocket, but Cas easily removed it from his hands and cut it up, too.

Sam let out a long-suffering sigh, like he had dealt with this his entire life. “Commitment.”

“Not asking for his hand here,” Gabe grumbled. “At least… not for anything that isn’t attached to my body.”

Cas poured the sauce in the bowl over the vegetables. “It’s okay, Sam. Gabriel is also afraid of commitment.”

“That’s a lie!” Gabe protested. “I’ve stuck by you your entire life!”

“Yes, but that’s different.”

“How?”

“You’re asking the wrong person, Gabe.” Cas scooted them back so he could open the oven and slide the dish in. “It’s different for you, somehow.”

Charlie added, “I mean, you _did_ run around the neighborhood screaming that you wanted to kiss him.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Uh, _yeah,_ and I also kissed both of you so what’s the problem here?”

“If I may quote you, you kissed _us_ platonically, but you wanted to kiss _him_ ‘very deeply and sexually’.”

Sam cleared his throat. “I feel like I shouldn’t be a part of this conversation.”

“Your brother got me high,” Gabe informed him. “I kiss people when I’m high. I would kiss you if you were here.”

“And let me risk incurring Dean’s jealous wrath? I’m good.” Sam thought about it a moment. “Actually nix that, kiss me.”

Gabe leaned over and pressed his lips noisily to the phone. “Kissed.”

“Kiss received. I’ll be sure to mention that in passing to him sometime and not explain further.”

Gabe laughed. “Beautiful.”

“Mm. Hey, just a heads up, Dean was pretty pissed earlier. If your house is break-into-able, you may wanna keep an eye on it.”

Gabe thought back to how Dean guessed his door code on the first try. “My house is extremely break-into-able and I’ll be right back.” He ran out of Castiel’s house to look at his own. Nothing seemed out of place.

He looked back to Dean’s, where Dean was outside in just jeans, with a fabric grocery bag in tow.

They both stopped and stared at each other.

Gabe pointed. “You were gonna break into my house!”

“You _did_ break into mine!”

“You refused to kiss me!”

“Crime is not the answer!” Dean huffed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Look, I need clothes. You stole all my shirts and underwear. I’m going to get my shit back. If you try to stop me, I will fight you.”

“I stole it fair and square.” Gabe glared him down. “You can have it all back _tomorrow.”_

“I need clothes _now.”_

“Top three things you need. I’ll go get them for you.”

“You’re not going to _hoard_ my stuff! You don’t even need it! Give it back!!!”

“No!”

“I’m _going_ to fight you!”

And something clicked into place in Gabriel’s brain, because he held his arms out. “Yeah? Fuckin’ do it then.”

Dean hesitated.

“You’re maskless. I’m maskless. So go ahead. _Fight me._ Get right up in my face. I’m gonna kiss you, Winchester. The _moment_ you’re closer than six feet, anything holding me back is gone.”

Dean let out a frustrated yell and turned around, walked a few steps, then turned back. “Phone. Shirt. Underwear. Those are the three things I need most.”

“Fine. I’ll bring them over soon.”

 _“Now._ Just grab whatever you see first and bring it to me.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” Dean stalked away, fists clenched.

Gabe turned back to his own house, thinking. What horrid clothes could he force Dean to wear?

He typed in his door code (and goddamn it he needed to change that) and headed upstairs to his… nest, for lack of a better word.

“Shirt,” he said aloud to himself, sifting through the pile until he found what appeared to be an old faded band shirt. It wasn’t horrid, but it was sexy as fuck so Gabe tossed that close to the door.

“Underwear,” he said as he looked for a weird pair. They were all dumb, boring boxers, with a rather sudden exception of a woman’s panties. Gabe lifted them up, eyebrows raised. “Souvenir.” He almost tossed them back into the pile before pausing, the evil parts of his brain whirring.

…Would they fit Dean?

Gabe held them up again, squinting as he mentally assessed them. Yeah, they should fit Dean. In fact, they looked like they’d fit him _perfectly._

Gabe grabbed them and the band shirt and tossed them into a plastic bag before walking them over to Dean’s.

He threw the bag at the front door, pretty damn sure Dean would have a mask on by now and not feeling like having his ass beat. “Front porch!” he yelled to the still-open window, headed back to Castiel’s house.

He walked in and immediately remembered the phone. “Ah, fuck.”

—

Gabe held up the phone almost an hour later as a peace treaty as he approached Dean’s house, a very angry Dean standing outside. At least he had on jeans and that band tee. Gabe gulped. And a mask. “I forgot, okay? Here it is. Good as new.”

Dean held out his hand.

“I don’t trust you not to beat me up, so… I’m gonna sit it down here and you can come and get it.”

“Over here. _Now.”_

Gabe flinched and walked carefully over, phone held like a shield. “I didn’t do anything bad! Sam called so we talked to him for a bit.”

Dean snatched the phone out of Gabe’s hands, turned it over to check damage, and nodded to himself. “Cool.” In half a second, Gabe was pinned to the ground, Dean’s arm braced across his chest. “Give me. Back. My shit.”

 _“Tomorrow,”_ Gabe promised, swinging one leg and sending them flipping. “I’m gonna sleep in a Dean fort tonight!”

“Oh really? Because Cas seems convinced you were going to wind up at _his_ house tonight.” Dean pushed at Gabriel’s arms, but they were rock-solid. “Dammit get _off_ me!”

“You started it!” He scowled. “And what does it matter? You got me high, _you_ deal with the consequences.”

“One cookie! I told you to eat _one!”_ Dean flipped, but Gabriel was quicker and didn’t flip with him, instead bringing Dean’s arm behind his back and holding it there.

“I thought it was a sweet gesture! I was _planning_ on eating more!” Gabe pinned his other arm beside his head. “You need to learn to communicate better!”

“So do you! A goddamn _lie detector?_ What the fuck was _that_ about?!” He struggled in vain.

Gabe scowled. “I don’t know, okay?! It seemed like a good idea at the time!” He held tighter at Dean’s wrists.

Dean managed to kick Gabriel in the leg, but it didn’t offer him any freedom to move. “Don’t sit there and lie to me! I get it, okay?! I _get_ that you have this perfectly-cultivated, chaotic, doesn’t-plan-anything reputation going on. And it’s a goddamned _lie._ You’re the most calculating person I’ve ever _met._ You knew _damn_ well what you were doing!”

Gabe pursed his lips. “Fine. I knew what I was doing. I wanted to figure out if you kept having the same weird feelings I did. I thought maybe we could figure out how to stop them together.”

“Feelings,” Dean deadpanned.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Well,” Dean said, in a ridiculously cheery voice, “these feelings are called _lust_ and they happen when two humans—“

“Shut the fuck up, Winchester. I saw your phone background.”

Dean didn’t say anything.

“I don’t _want_ to have feelings for you,” Gabe informed him. “In fact, I really wish we could’ve already banged one out so I wouldn’t be up late every night because I can’t stop fucking _thinking_ about you.”

“Look, all this shit is just tons of repressed sexual energy, okay? That’s it. We don’t have to talk about it.”

The next breath Gabe took was shuddering, and he hated himself for it. “And I wish that didn’t hurt as much as it did.”

“Gabe—“

“Oh my fucking god, are you wearing those panties?”

Dean stilled, suddenly aware of the fact that his jeans had slipped down just a bit in their tumble. “Um.”

“You are. You’re legitimately wearing panties. _Dean Winchester_ is wearing panties.”

“You didn’t really leave me much of a choice!” Dean yelled back, face red.

Gabe’s brain went on autopilot, but the autopilot was just as fucked up as the rest of him. “So they fit?”

“Of course they fit! Why the fuck would I buy some that didn’t fit?!”

Forget autopilot. The whole damn plane had crashed. “You… you bought them.”

“I… yes?”

“You. Bought them. For you.”

“…yes.”

Gabe stared a moment before clearing his throat awkwardly. “So. I may or may not have a boner.”

“…get the fuck off me.”

“It’s a neighborhood so I um. Can’t.”

Dean thumped his head against the ground. “Jesus Christ, Gabriel.”

Gabe let Dean’s hands go, confident in him not running away. “Not my fault.”

“Absolutely your fault.”

Gabriel ran his hands absently along Dean’s back, rubbing at the knots between his shoulder blades. “You know, I take it all back. I’ll gladly fall for you if it means this kinda thing on the daily. Or even weekly. Monthly.” He massaged Dean’s shoulders. “How are you so goddamned perfect, anyway?”

Dean relaxed against his better judgment. “How are you so goddamned _loud?”_

“Ah, Byron,” Gabe cooed. “Did you really think I could ever fall for you quietly?”

Something in Dean’s chest felt like TV static.

“You know,” Gabe began, some time later, “I _did_ promise something. And I’m a man of my word.”

“You’re not, but what was it?” Dean’s eyes were closed and he was… comfy.

“I promised I was gonna kiss you.”

“Don’t,” Dean griped.

Gabe leaned down and pressed his lips to the back of Dean’s neck softly. It was a barely-there kiss that immediately lodged itself into Dean’s permanent memory. “Kissed,” Gabe whispered.

“If you ever figure out how to make the feelings stop,” Dean whispered back, “let me know.”

—

“Gaaaaabriel,” Charlie sang out, pulling him to the couch. “The video Sam sent! We gotta watch it!”

“Nosy,” he accused mildly, logging into his email on her laptop. He cast it to the TV and opened the attachment.

There was a kid Gabriel assumed to be Sam. He looked to be… thirteen or so.

“My name is Sam Winchester, and I am collecting research on what will be formally known as the Hiccup Phenomenon.”

Gabe’s ears perked up.

Sam took the video camera into what appeared to be a hotel room, with a young Dean — seventeenish — eating cereal and watching TV.

“Dean,” Sam called out.

Dean grunted in response.

“You’re an amazing person.”

Dean winked at him before returning to the TV. Sam walked back outside and turned the camera to face him again. “Okay, that was a control. Nothing happened, see? _But—“_ he turned the camera, and a very pretty girl was leaning against the brick wall, smiling, “watch what happens when _she_ does it.”

The girl laughed and held out her hand for the camera, walking back into the room. “Dean?” she said softly.

Dean jumped, setting his cereal down. “Um. Hey. What’s with the camera?”

She ignored him and sat on the bed beside him instead, one hand going out to run through his hair gently. “You’re an amazing person,” she said sincerely.

“Did _hic_ did Sammy put you up to _hic_ to this or—“

She laughed and kissed him, and the footage jumped to what appeared to be a movie night, just Sam and Dean.

Sam angled the camera to Dean, whose eyes were wide as he watched what looked to be some old romance movie.

The couple on the TV kissed, and Dean hiccuped, hand over his mouth, completely oblivious of Sam.

The next segment was Dean in a tux, pulling at it in frustration. “I hate this thing,” he informed the camera. “And get that out of my face.”

“No,” Sam responded.

Dean rolled his eyes, but turned immediately when a door opened. That same girl from earlier stepped out, in a long, sparkly dress, and smiled shyly at Dean.

Dean was hiccuping again, even as Sam clapped his shoulder and said, “Have fun at prom you crazy kids.”

The footage changed again, to something that looked _far_ more recent, from within the past two months or so, really. It was Jess holding the camera this time, grinning wide and recording Dean on the phone. Sam leaned beside her, equally amused.

“And he _hic_ he just fucking _hic_ sits outside in his damn _hic_ his damn boxers like this neighborhood is some kinda _hic_ some kinda nude beach! And he _hic_ he waves at me like we’re _hic_ like we’re besties or something and I _hic_ I just can’t _hic_ can’t stand _hic_ can’t stand him!”

“Yeah, sure Dean,” Sam agreed.

“Don’t you _hic_ don’t you ‘sure Dean’ me! These _hic_ these hiccups are _hic_ unrelated!”

“Oh, so they’re _not_ your love hiccups?”

“Don’t you use the _hic_ the L-slur around me!”

“So,” Jess piped in. “When are we gonna get to meet this boyfriend of yours?”

“He’s not my _hic_ not my boyfriend!”

The footage changed one last time, to something Gabriel recognized instantly.

It was himself, walking out in his lava dress, and Dean’s face was red.

“I’ll be honest, I was expecting to get under your skin,” Gabe watched himself say.

“You uh… You _hic_ did. You did.”

“So you _are_ mad?”

“No I _hic_ I’m just _hic_ I— dammit!”

“You okay over there, Winchester? You’re not getting chronic hiccups, are you?”

The footage ended. That was it, that was everything Sam had stitched together and sent.

Gabriel stared at the TV, and Charlie and Castiel exchanged glances.

“Gabe?” Castiel began.

“Don’t,” Gabriel responded immediately. “I’m processing.”

Nobody said anything for a long time.

Finally Gabriel put his head in his hands and laughed. “I fucking _knew_ it!” he managed. When he looked up, there were tear tracks down his face.

Castiel blanched. “Gabriel, are you okay?”

“No I’m not _fucking_ okay! I’m falling in love with _that_ idiot!” His eyes widened at his own admission. “Jesus fuck. I am. I’m falling in love with him. It’s not just some damn teenager crush. I’m. I’m falling in _love_ with him.”

Charlie gave him a wry smile. “Glad you finally figured it out.”

“Who fucking hiccups when they feel love. What a fucking loser.”

Castiel put a hand on Gabriel’s back.

“I’m falling in love with him,” Gabriel said again, hands folded against his lips. “What the fuck is wrong with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, it only took like.... 44K for _one_ of them to figure it out, right?


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone say thank you to FeaRauko for the fun fact in this chapter that will forever plague your knowledge  
> also Gabriel and I agree on the meaning of life and you can fight us

Gabriel laid out in Castiel’s front yard, feet in a kiddie wading pool, watching the stars.

Love. Love. Love. What the fuck was love. He wasn’t _in love_ with Winchester. He was just… falling. He was getting there. He was looking into the future and realizing that Dean being there made him a lot happier than him _not_ being there.

**_[Gabrosie] 11:18pm_ ** _i’m thinking too much_

**_[Byron] 11:25pm_ ** _you think???_

**_[Gabrosie] 11:26pm_ ** _come lay with me?_

**_[Byron] 11:27pm_ ** _how victorian of you, but i’m saving myself for marriage_

Gabriel grinned, his phone screen just a bit too bright against the night sky.

**_[Gabrosie] 11:28pm_ ** _not like that. I’m laying outside. Stars look pretty tonight_

**_[Byron] 11:29pm_ ** _ah, so late-night adventures are just gonna be a *thing* with us. Got it. omw_

Gabriel closed his eyes and listened to Dean open his front door quietly and walk over.

“Where did you get a kiddie pool?” Dean asked somewhere not too far off.

“No fuckin’ clue.”

Dean laid down on the other side of the pool, hesitantly putting his feet in. “Why are you out here?”

“I’m still high.”

Dean snorted. “Makes sense.”

“What’s the meaning of life?”

Dean stared up at the stars. “Ah, you’re at _that_ part of being high. Got it. Um. To protect those you love.”

“Hm.”

“Why? What do you think it is?”

“Clone-fucking,” Gabe responded with zero hesitation.

Dean laughed out loud, hand over his mouth. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Just keep your eyes peeled, Byron. Everything _always_ circles back to clone-fucking.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh, do you? Need I remind you of the evil twin on Dr. Sexy? Evil twins are just half a step away from clone-fucking and you know it. They present the option.”

“Point taken.” Dean mentally charted out constellations. “Would you fuck your own clone?”

“Without hesitation. Who else could I get to do all the weird kinky shit I wanna try?”

“I mean, you could always just ask nicely.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, grinning. “Byron, will you do me the absolute honor of roleplaying as me so I can fuck myself?”

Dean laughed loudly. “You asshole.”

“Maybe. Wouldn’t you fuck your own clone?”

“Ha! No. I don’t like myself enough for that.” He laid one hand behind his head. “Besides, I’d be too caught up in the clone part, not so much the fucking part. Like, how was this clone made? Do they have all my memories? Are they a separate person? Which one of us is the _real_ me? Are clones people? And, if so, does that make me its father? Does that make wondering which of us is real somehow racist against clones? How will we tell us apart, when one of us inevitably decides to pull a crime since neither of us could be lawfully committed, since there would be a reasonable doubt which it was? What—“

“You circled back to evil twin there, Byron.”

“I did? I did.” Dean pursed his lips. “I do not want you to be right about the meaning of life.”

“I am right, but feel free to think whatever you please.” Gabriel clicked his tongue. “I’ve only ever seen like five episodes of Dr. Sexy, by the way. Luckily one was the evil twin one.”

“Bitch that was a _season,”_ Dean reprimanded. “And seriously? How could _you_ not watch Dr. Sexy?”

“Um, medical dramas aren’t my thing?”

“But sexy people are _absolutely_ your thing and that’s like, ninety percent of the show.”

“You’re biased because you work there.”

“I mean, yeah.” Dean shrugged. “But I mean, if you got caught up, I could give you spoilers for the next season that _no one else_ has. You could tease your fans about it. I bet some of them watch Dr. Sexy.”

“They do.” Gabe laughed low. “People keep leaving comments and asking me where he is.”

“Oh, you should _absolutely_ interview him.”

“They’re talking about _you,_ dumbass.”

“Oh.” Dean couldn’t hide his grin. “They’re calling me Dr. Sexy?”

“Yeah. Have you even bothered checking the comments on the science show?”

“Not a big comments guy. I like to come to my own conclusions.”

“Okay well sorry to disappoint, grandpa, but most comments are memes nowadays. When’s the last time you were on YouTube? 2012?”

“Don’t call me out like this.”

“Jesus fuck, dude,” Gabriel said, laughing. “Let me guess: you commented on a video and someone replied with something mean, and you swore off the comment section for the rest of time.”

“Shut up. No. I just… kept seeing hateful stuff, and it took zero effort to avoid it, so I just… avoided it.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Right. Well, sort by top ranking. Those are usually funny.”

“So I should do that with our videos?”

“Yep!” Gabe paused. “Well, our videos might not be the best example, because the top comments are all shit like ‘my otp’ and whatnot.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Otp? What’s that mean?” He paused for dramatic effect. “Ontario Tricycle Parking?”

Gabe snickered. “Online Titty Porn.”

“Ostriches Teaching Penguins.”

“Oops, Train Penises.”

“Orange Taint Pickles?”

Gabriel giggled and scrunched up his nose. “Fuckin’ gross. O’ Tambourine Player.”

“Old Teeth Problems.”

“Onsite Technical People.”

“Ow, Trachea Pebbles!”

“Oh, Temperamental Phishing.”

Dean raised his hands in triumph. “I win!”

“What? No you don’t!”

“Fishing starts with an F, loser.”

“Yeah, but _phishing_ starts with a PH.”

“…That’s a fake F. It’s just disguising itself as a PH.”

Gabe laughed. “Like the English language is wont to do!”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, alright. You got me there.” He adjusted his feet in the pool. “Speaking of, what is that language I hear you and Cas speaking sometimes?”

“Hmm? Oh, Enochian.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It was this ah, well. So it goes like.” He huffed, trying to gather his thoughts. “This guy got blazed and thought he talked to angels, and he wrote down the language he said they taught him, and that was Enochian, and that’s what we spoke during the Lesser Years of our lives. It works still in a pinch because who the fuck speaks Enochian.”

“Teach me some?”

“Teach you some,” Gabriel repeated, deadpanning. “It’s a fuckin’ made up language.”

“Yeah okay but like… so is every _other_ language.” He pushed himself onto his elbows, stretching his legs out. “Teach me a curse word.”

“You’re on my side of the pool.” Gabe kicked at his feet. “The curse words aren’t quite the same as ours.”

Dean kicked back. “How do you mean?”

“They’re less of _bad words_ and more of _damn you to hell forever_ words.” He caught Dean’s foot between his own. “Quit it.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “No. Teach me a damning word.”

“Fine. _Apila ulcinin.”_

“Ah-pee-la uhl-see-nee-nah?”

“Yeah, you got it. Enochian is really… piece-y. Every consonant has to be paired with a vowel, and if the word ends in a consonant, you have to make up a vowel for it. Usually A.”

“Kinda like… opposite French.”

Gabe snorted. “Yeah, sure.” He pulled Dean’s foot closer so he could link his ankles around Dean’s. “This is mine now.”

“You stealin’ body parts now, Rosie? A regular Dr. Frankenstein?”

“Feet and hearts.” Gabriel took a deep breath in and let it out. “Did you know that feet used to be a euphemism for dicks in the Bible?”

Dean choked. “Please tell me you are _not_ implying that Jesus washed his friends’ dicks.”

“Nah, just some Old Testament stuff.” Gabe let his calf trace up Dean’s leg.

Dean wiggled his foot. “Stop touching my dick, Gabe.”

Gabriel snorted, then immediately covered his mouth to hide that fact. “C’mon. Let the dicks kiss.” He pressed his toes against Dean’s, earning himself a sharp laugh and a kick.

“This dick can fly at one hundred miles per hour, babe.” Dean mimed a sharp kick in the air.

“But can it fit in a condom?”

“I can promise you this dick is clean.” He lifted his foot to the night sky. “Now your dick, however, I’m sure has been used for a great many things and none of them remotely clean.”

Gabe raised his own foot. “This here be my idiot-stomping dick.”

Dean laughed, jabbing at Gabe’s leg.

Gabriel giggled. “Byron baby, I’m down with a lot of kinks but feet isn’t one of them.”

“Oh thank god, me neither.” Dean shook his head, grinning. “Did you just call me baby?”

“Mm, you called me babe. How long are your arms?”

“That seems… highly unrelated but I have no clue.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

Before Dean could ask for clarification, Gabe scooted around the pool until he was two arm lengths away from Dean.

“Gimme your arm.”

“Feet, hearts, _and_ arms. Really goin’ for gold here, aren’t you?” Dean laid his arm out towards Gabe, one eyebrow raised. “You gonna chop it off or something?”

“Yeah, but I forgot my axe so I figured I’d just chew through.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t read too much into it.”

“Into—?” Dean cut himself off as Gabriel reached out and touched his hand, fingers diving easily under his own.

They both stayed there, frozen.

“Cas uh… Cas told me you get cuddly.” Dean spread his fingers slightly, extending the invitation.

“I do, yes.” He accepted, sliding his fingers home between Dean’s.

“You’re really taking a lot of firsts here today, Rosie.”

Gabe stared firmly at the night sky. “I’m high, so I can have my plausible deniability.”

“Ah.” Dean rubbed his thumb over Gabriel’s knuckles. “And what do I have, then?”

“Perky nipples.”

Dean laughed in surprise, free hand against his forehead. “What the fuck is wrong with you,” he said between giggles.

“You, I’m sure,” Gabe said back, grinning.

“Yeah yeah, I know, you’d risk a virus for these perky nipples.”

“Dean, if sex with you is what kills me, then I win.”

Dean shook his head, still chuckling, and they both laid in comfortable silence.

Gabriel’s hand was warm, and it was taking all of Dean’s willpower to not center his world in on it. It wasn’t a front pressed to his back. It wasn’t another body wrestling him. This was… soft. It was Gabriel, in the way Gabriel only was when no one else was around. And maybe also it was Dean, in the exact same way.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Dean whispered.

Gabe made some sleepy noise. “I think I’d just stay here, actually.”

Dean stared at the stars as he tried to figure out how to tell Gabriel that he was everything he had ever hated. He was annoying and sarcastic and crude and loud and stubborn. He woke up in the afternoon and texted too much and didn’t understand personal space and had no sense of fashion. He was an asshole, a jerk, a dick, an absolute wad of stupidity.

“You’re everything,” Dean whispered.

And, yeah. That covered it.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't proofread this one either so uhhh enjoy!

Gabriel woke up warm and comfy and content. He nuzzled his face into the blanket happily.

The blanket chuckled and swatted at him. “Good to see you awake,” Castiel said.

Gabe pulled him close and opened one eye to hair. “G’morning, Cassie.”

“Good morning, Gabrosie. Would you mind so terribly if we could scoot back to the middle of the bed? You have pushed me to the edge. Again.”

“Think I’m just gonna go back to sleep instead,” Gabe snarked, closing his eyes. “Don’t wake me up.”

Castiel pushed Gabriel away. “I have things to do today, you know.”

Gabe pushed out his bottom lip, trying to look pathetic. “More important than snuggling with your favorite brother?”

“You’re my only brother.”

“Thereby your favorite.”

“Mm, perhaps. For now. Once you eventually marry Dean, _he_ will be my favorite brother. You should come to terms with that fact soon. It will make it easier for you in the long run.”

Gabe gasped in mock hurt. “Cassie! What does Dean have that I don’t?”

“A general sense of personal space.”

Gabe pointed at him. “Don’t lie to me. You don’t have one of those either.”

“Also true, but I recognize and appreciate it in him. He _does_ makes great burgers.”

“I can make great burgers!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. _Just_ burgers. Nothing extra thrown in.”

“Macaroni is _fantastic_ in burgers and you think so, too.”

“Alas, I do not. I’ve merely been humoring you for—“ Castiel mimed checking his watch, “my entire life or so.”

“You wound me, Castiel.”

“You pushed me to the edge of the bed, Gabrosie.”

“I always do that. It’s your own fault for not taking the necessary precautions.”

“Which are?”

“Pushing the bed against the wall so there’s only so far you can go.”

Cas shook his head, hiding a grin. “We tried that once. I somehow wound up on the _other_ side of the bed.”

“You _obviously_ needed protection from the wall.”

“Obviously.”

Gabe propped his head on his hand. “You goin’ to see your bees today?”

“Mmm, perhaps. Depends on my ability to escape this bed.”

“That depends on how sleepy I get and or if there will be coffee outside the confines of this room.”

“There will likely be. Charlie probably hasn’t even gone to bed yet.”

“My kinda woman.”

“Yes, but no.” Cas leaned back and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. “I found some tiktoks I wanted to show you.”

Gabriel roped Castiel back over to him, snuggling him tightly. “Look at you, getting steeped in pop culture.”

“Impossible not to. Besides, they’re all about thirty seconds long, so your attention span should be able to ‘vibe’ with them.”

“I resent and acknowledge this.”

Castiel opened up the app while Gabe watched, chin perched on his shoulder. “So,” Cas began conversationally, “how much of last night do you remember?”

Gabe frowned in thought. “Um. Some. Not all. Why? What did I do?”

“For one, you stole a lot of things, so you should probably get on returning those today.”

“Or I could just keep them.”

“Gabriel.”

“Fiiiiine. What else did I do?”

“That is what I was hoping to ask you. You went out last night to stare at the stars, and when you came in, you were _extremely_ happy and insisted on dancing with Charlie and I.”

“Yeah no clue. Uh, something about clone-fucking I think.”

Cas groaned. “You and your damn clones.”

“I wish.” Gabe wracked his brain. “Did I _imagine_ I watched a video where hiccups were somehow a love language or…?”

“No, that one is correct.”

“…Ah.”

“You need to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Good.”

Gabe gestured to Castiel’s phone. “Sam has a channel on here somewhere.”

“Yes, I’m aware. I follow him.”

“Can we watch his?”

“They’re horribly dorky, but, yes. We can.” Castiel typed in their channel name while Gabriel cast his eyes around the room.

“Hey, Cassie?”

“Hmm?”

“…do you like him?”

“Sam? He is one of my close friends. Of course I like him.”

“I meant Dean. Like… do you like him?”

Cas squinted. “Is this one of those times where ‘like’ really means ‘are attracted to’ or…?”

“You’re being difficult on purpose.”

“I think I’ve earned the right.” Cas rolled his eyes. “Yes. He’s my favorite neighbor.”

“Ass.”

Cas chuckled slightly. “I already gave him my blessing to court you, so don’t worry about that.”

“How victorian of you.” Gabriel scowled at himself as he realized he had just quoted Dean. At least, he was kinda sure he had. When had Dean said that?

Cas cleared his throat. “By the way,” he began, aiming for casual and only succeeding in mildly panicked, “I don’t think I ever officially came out to you.”

Oh. “Oh?”

“I’m… I’m ace. And aro.” Cas winced at himself. “You probably don’t know what those mean. Um, I’m—“

“Asexual and aromantic. Yeah. I got it.” Gabe nuzzled Cas with his nose. “I’ve known that since you were a kid, kiddo.”

Cas blinked in surprise. “I myself only figured it out a few years back.”

“I also knew that. But those things are things you gotta figure out yourself, and sometimes they take a long-ass time.” Gabe kissed his cheek. “For the record, I love and support you.”

Cas closed his eyes and smiled. “Thank you.”

“And if you don’t like snuggling after all then it’s too bad because I refuse to quit snuggling you.”

Cas laughed. “I like snuggling,” he admitted softly, scooching closer to Gabriel. “If I may ask, how did you know? When I was a kid?”

“Hm? Oh, Hannah.”

“Hannah? My friend Hannah?”

“Dude. She was so fuckin’ gone on you it wasn’t even funny.”

“We were just friends, though!”

“Yeah, sure. Friends who went out to the pond and swam together and ran in the woods together and got in trouble for said things together. She’d sneak into the boys room and try to wake you — and by extension, me — up late at night to go do god-knows-what.”

“We were ten!”

“I call ‘em like I see ‘em, Cassie. She was, what did you say? She was _courting_ you.” He shrugged. “I mean, sure. It could all just be friend things, I acknowledge that. You and I did shit like that. But I saw her writing your name on school work once so. Yeah. Signs point to: she was totally into you.”

“… oh my god.”

Gabe laughed. “Now you know.”

“Did I lead her on?”

“Not intentionally. She eventually figured out you weren’t into her.”

Cas groaned and hid his face in his hands. “I’m an idiot.”

“Generally, yes.”

Cas pushed Gabe good-naturedly. “Asshole. You never came out to me, either.”

“Didn’t think I had to. You walked in on me and girls and guys more than once.”

“That’s because the doors didn’t lock.”

“Knocking is still a good thing to do, you know.” He rolled his eyes, smiling. “Do you _want_ me to come out to you, Cassie?”

“It’s not a requirement.”

“Yes. What I’m hearing is yes.” Gabriel took a dramatic breath in. “Cassie. Castiel. My baby brother. My legal son. I have something of the utmost importance to tell you.”

Cas giggled, then schooled his face. “Dearest brother and father of mine, what is it?”

“I’m…………….. not like other boys.”

Castiel put a hand over his face in mock-concern to hide his grin. “How so?”

“I………….. like to wear dresses.”

“Egads!”

Gabriel had to smush his face into the pillow a second to keep from laughing. “And _makeup.”_

“Oh my god.”

“And, sometimes… when it’s _really_ late at night…” he met Castiel’s eyes seriously. “I think about men.”

“The horror!”

“And women,” Gabe stage-whispered.

“I just might faint.”

“And _everyone.”_

“The nerve!”

“Gender is a social construct,” Gabriel told him, hands on Castiel’s cheeks. “I like _all_ the pronouns.”

“Are you my father or my mother or my parental unit?”

“Your guess is as good as mine!” Gabe bit the inside of his cheek to keep a straight face.

“I suppose I shall use them all interchangeably.”

“Alas, that sounds horribly confusing. I shall be your father, solely so I can make Star Wars references when desired.”

“That makes me more inclined to call you my mother.”

“Father it is. Go make me coffee, son.”

Castiel didn’t say anything, but there was a lot of humor in his eyes, and Gabriel shook his head vehemently, grinning.

“Do not. Do _not_ call me daddy! I can see the joke in your eyes! I swear I will leave your house and not return ever in my entire life!”

Castiel tapped his chin thoughtfully. “So it’s a win-win.”

“Oh, shut your face. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re something-that-rhymes-with-queer.”

“Poetic.” Castiel ruffled Gabriel’s hair and rolled out of bed. “You still like your coffee with caramel and peppermints and marshmallows?”

“Ugh, you know me so well.” Gabe got up and stretched. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“The clothes you constantly leave here are still in the second drawer.” Cas stopped at the door and turned back to him, smiling. “It’s good to have you back, Gabriel.”

“I know.” Gabe winked at him. “For what it’s worth, it’s good to have you back, too.”

“You sap. I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Cassie. Go make me coffee.”

“Bossy.”

“Sassy.”

They both laughed, and felt some of the loneliness that had pervaded their quarantined lives slip away.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please for the love of gays listen to dr. hook

Dean sat outside, scrolling through his phone.

“Hey,” Charlie said, going to stand by their adjoining fence. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Dean waved absently. “Uh, I’m scrolling through Wish again. I have work to do, but _somebody_ stole my laptop.”

“He stole mine, too, so I feel you.” She raised one eyebrow. “Like the outfit, though.”

Dean scowled, refusing to look up. “Yeah well, he stole all my clothes as well.”

“Except the jean shorts and his band shirt?”

“He’s evil and calculating and cruel.”

Charlie laughed. “Sure he is. Admit it, Winchester. You’re in love.”

Dean jabbed a finger in her direction. “Shut your face.”

“That wasn’t a no.”

“It sure as _hell_ wasn’t a yes.” He locked his phone and finally looked up. “You come outside just to tease me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Ass.”

“Dick.” She grinned at him. “So when is Jess due?”

“Soon. Any day now.”

“So you’re just gonna wait for her to go into labor and fly over?”

Dean shuddered. “I don’t do airplanes. I’m gonna drive. I wouldn’t be let into the room with the current regulations anyways, so I’ll get there sometime after the baby is born.”

“Ah, gotcha.” Charlie looked towards the road. “Oh, hey. Looks like you’ve got a package.”

Dean practically _jumped_ up. “My Wish stuff!” He waited for the mailman to pull away before running to his front porch and grabbing the box. “Uh, or not?”

Charlie craned her neck to see. “What is it?”

“Not sure. I didn’t order anything really big.” He squinted at the label. “Or from YouTube.”

“Oh my god.”

Dean walked it back to his backyard, raising one eyebrow at her. “You know what it is?”

“I’ve got an idea. Hold on.” She pulled out her phone and hit record. “Okay. Open it. Wait no!”

Dean groaned dramatically.

“Let me go get Gabe. You both need to be here for this.”

“You’ve got thirty seconds before I open the damn thing.”

Charlie ran inside to where Gabriel was drinking coffee and watching TV. “Come on!” she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him outside.

“Woah hey Jesus! Watch the coffee!” He stumbled out after her, squinting in the sunlight. “Hey, Winchester.”

“Hey, Shurley.”

Gabe leaned against the fence. “Ah, what’s the occasion?”

Dean held up the package. “No clue.”

Charlie pointed the camera at the both of them. “Okay okay. Open it.”

Dean rolled his eyes and took out a pocket knife, cutting through the tape. He pulled the thing out of the package, with still zero clue what it was. “Um.”

Gabriel’s eyes were wide. “Woah, what the fuck?”

“What _is_ it?”

Gabe threw his arms out, heedless of the coffee spilling onto the ground. “That’s a silver play button! When the hell did we reach a hundred K?”

Dean looked at him blankly.

“A hundred thousand subscribers.”

“Oh! On our show. Thought you meant Kelvin.” Dean shrugged. “I dunno. I haven’t really been messing with it beyond just recording.” He looked at their channel name etched across its surface.

“I mean, I’ve been following it some, but I guess I somehow missed subscriber count.”

Charlie could’ve facepalmed. “Oh my god. Are you two serious?”

Dean held the award out. “I mean, it’s not even that great of a show. And there’s only been two episodes.”

Gabriel took it and examined it. “Huh. I guess it _is_ quarantine. People are bored.”

“We didn’t even bother explaining the science stuff in the last episode!”

Charlie bit her tongue, trying not to tell them that it wasn’t the show _itself_ that people liked. “Well, you know, you’re both pretty entertaining people. And Gabe _is_ famous, remember? Top podcast for years running?”

Gabriel held it up to the sun, squinting. “And we do have pretty good representation.”

“Huh. Yeah, I guess we do.” Dean hummed in thought. “Well, okay. That doesn’t put any pressure on us at all.”

Gabe snorted. “What are we gonna do with this thing?”

“You can have it if you want. It doesn’t mean much to me.”

“Me either.” Gabe suddenly gasped, eyes wide and mischievous. “What if we fucking exploded it.”

Dean snapped and pointed at him. “Fuck. Yes.” He stared pacing. “We could do it as a ‘what happens if you run reactions in a closed environment’ type thing. We could hollow it out and run the volcano experiment _inside_ of it. Or— fuck, what’s it made of? We might can throw it in a pool of a reactive substance. But we couldn’t do that within city limits…”

“Cassie has some unused land on his bee farm thing! He might let us use it?”

Dean stopped pacing, face lighting up. “Hell yes! Let’s do it, babe! Fucking _giant-ass_ explosion!” He laughed. “Chemist’s fucking _dream.”_

Gabe blinked in surprise at the name, but quickly decided to just file it away for later. “Oh, is this your mad scientist side? I like it.”

“All of my sides are a mad scientist side.” Dean pulled out his phone, already googling the chemical makeup of the button. “Some just hide it better than others.”

“Man after my own heart.”

Dean grinned, then groaned. “Ah, fuck. It’s mostly nickel.”

“I… don’t know what that means. In regards to this.”

“It means it’s unreactive.” Dean was pacing again. “But we still gotta blow it up. I _could_ hollow it out, but that might not actually be the best route. It would take too long and I just— I _really_ wanna blow this thing up with you now. Like today.”

“Alright so... maybe we run it like a rocket launch? Strap some C4 to it and just fuckin’ send it skyward?”

Dean looked up a the sky, running calculations in his head. “Yeah, yeah we might can do that. I know a guy.”

“You know a guy,” Gabe deadpanned.

“I know a few guys, actually.” Dean tapped his chin in thought. “Is it illegal to make our own explosive and post the how-to on YouTube?”

“I don’t think it’s _illegal,_ per se. Maybe just highly frowned-upon.”

“Yeah, probably,” Dean grumbled.

“It _is_ a kid’s show.”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll just get some.” Dean looked back at him, eyes bright and smile brighter. “We’re gonna blow this thing up today.”

Gabe felt a bit dizzy looking at him. “Hell yes.”

—

Dean grinned at Gabe as he opened his door. “Ready?”

Gabe couldn’t help his laugh as he saw Dean still wearing the same outfit from earlier, plus a mask. “Is that really lab safe, Byron?”

“Well, someone stole my clothes, so I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Gabriel’s eyes sparkled. “Can’t imagine.”

Dean offered his arm and Gabriel looped his own through it, amused. “I hope you have my keys, because I can’t find them anywhere,” Dean informed him.

“Of course I do.” Gabe pulled them out of a pocket of his ripped jeans. “I always come prepared.”

“I see you went all out with the punk today.”

“We are _blowing shit up._ Of _course_ I went punk today.” He kicked up one of his legs mid-stride, showing off the fishnet stockings under the rips. “I’m your wet dream, Winchester.”

“Hmm, sexy guy in ripped jeans and fishnets and one of my shirts? Maybe.”

Gabriel laughed out loud, face tinged pink. “Did you just call me sexy?”

“I’m in a good mood, I’m fucking _stoked,_ let’s just not question it today.”

“Deal.” Gabe handed over the keys and slid into the passenger seat of Baby. “God, I’d fuck this car.”

Dean snorted, starting up the engine. “Please don’t stick your dick in my car. She’s a classy lady.”

Gabe ran a hand over the dash. “Oh, I can change that.” He side-eyed Dean. “Is there anywhere _else_ here I’m allowed to stick my dick?”

“Ignoring you.” Dean pulled out of his drive, headed to where Castiel had said they could do their experiment.

Gabriel opened the glove compartment and immediately laughed. “How old _are_ you, Winchester?” He pulled out a box of cassettes.

“Hey, careful with those!”

Gabe held them away from Dean’s reaching hand. “How are we the same age and yet you’re decades older than me.” He turned one to face Dean. “Dr. Hook. Really.”

“It’s a classic!”

“It’s what they play in elevators.” He popped it in the console, turning the volume up. “Lucky for you, I happen to be a fan.”

“You have good taste, then.”

 _Sexy Eyes_ started playing, and Gabriel grinned. “This is the perfect song if you wanted to jump in the backseat with me.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Dean mumbled.

Gabe grabbed a flashlight and held it like a mic, mouthing along to the song.

**_I was sitting all alone_ **

**_Watching people get it on_ **

**_With each other._ **

He winked at Dean, and Dean pressed the stop button twice, ejecting the tape. “No, nope. Not dealing with that.”

“Aw, I thought we weren’t questioning it today.”

“We aren’t but—“

“Perfect.” Gabe pushed the tape back in and hit play.

**_They were dancing ‘cross the floor_ **

**_Turning movement back and forth_ **

**_They were lovers._ **

Dean scowled. “Why does every one of their songs sound like sex.”

“Because every one of their songs _is_ sex, Deano.” Gabe examined the song list on the cassette box. “This isn’t even the worst one. I’m assuming this car doesn’t have bluetooth?”

“Of course not.”

“Mm. Remind me to play _A Little Bit More_ for you sometime.”

“Not familiar with that one.”

Gabe stopped the cassette. “I could sing it to you.”

“Something about the tone of your voice makes me think that’s a bad idea.”

Gabe grinned at him, holding one hand out and singing loudly, _“And when your body’s had! Enough of meeeee and I’m layin’, flat out on the floor.”_

“You can stop—“

_“When you think I’ve looooved you, all I can, I’m gonna looooove you a little bit moooore.”_

Dean stared at the road, jaw set, and skipped the tape forward a few tracks. _“Don’t touch me,”_ he said in time with the song.

Gabe’s eyes lit up. _“Hey Ray! Hey sugar, tell ‘em who we are.”_

_“Well we’re big rock singers, we got golden fingers, and we’re loved everywhere we go.”_

Gabe nodded. _“Sounds like us.”_

_“We sing about beauty and we sing about truth— at ten thousand dollars a show.”_

_“Right.”_

_“We take allllll kinda pills to give us allll kinda thrills, but the thrill we’ve never known…”_

_“Is the thrill that’ll get ya when you get your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone.”_

Gabe sang harmony as Dean sang the main part of the chorus, eyes widening as Dean finished off with a raspy, rock-y, straight-to-his-dick, _“On the cover of the Rolling Stooooone!”_

Gabe laughed and let the next verse pass them by as he grinned at Dean. “Byron! When you said you were an alright singer, you didn’t tell me you were a fucking _god!”_

Dean smirked. “Years of singing in the car.”

“They fuckin’ paid off. Oh my god. Let me put my babies inside you.”

Dean laughed, one hand going to mess up his own hair. “I don’t think that line really works here, Gabe.”

“Um, let me put my half-babies inside you?”

Dean held back his chuckles. “Worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh, I can do worse.”

“Please don’t.”

—

Gabriel raised one eyebrow at Dean, setting up the cameras. “That isn’t C4.”

“Ah, no. Couldn’t get any on short notice.” Dean held up what he had just pulled from Baby’s trunk. “It’s a hand grenade.”

“Did you just… have that?”

“…Maybe.”

Gabriel turned the cameras on. “Hey there, viewers. This is Dean, our resident mad scientist.”

Dean pointed with the hand holding the grenade. “Don’t try this at home. Don’t even _think_ about this at home.”

Gabe shook his head. “That’s right. Go to a friend’s house to think about it. Make sure you’re both wearing your masks or whatever.”

Dean jerked his head towards Gabe. “Unlike this heathen.”

“I don’t have the virus. I haven’t been anywhere in over a month and I don’t have a fever. I’m clean. And I don’t _intend_ to go anywhere, either. If I do, I’ll wear a mask.” He leveled a somewhat menacing, pointed look at the camera.

Dean held up the silver play button they had pried out of the frame. “Thanks for the subscriber count, by the way. Neither of us actually knew people watched us.”

“Find something better to do with your time,” Gabriel deadpanned.

Dean shouldered him. “In honor of all of you, we’re gonna blow this sucker up.”

“With a… hand grenade.”

"Right so—“ Dean trotted back a few steps, laying out all his supplies on the ground where the cameras could see him, “what we’re gonna do here is actually launch it into the air and blow it up there. To accomplish this, I have a normal bottle rocket. We’re strapping the button and the grenade to it. The pin on the grenade will go around this stake, which will be firmly in the ground. So when we launch the rocket, the force of the rocket taking off will yank the pin out of the grenade, and everything else will fly into the air, and boom!”

Gabe examined the setup. “Huh. Alright. Boom.”

Dean worked on his contraption for a few minutes while Gabe filmed him, asking questions and getting answers so it seemed like they were at least _somewhat_ interested in the science of it.

Finally, Dean stood up, goofy smile on his face. “You ready?”

“Hell yes.” Gabe grabbed one of the cameras and held it up. “Countdown, Major Tom?”

Dean held the switch to the rocket excitedly, practically bouncing on his toes. “I never get to blow stuff up. Ten! Nine! Blah blah blah ONE!!!”

He hit the switch and Gabe filmed the rocket’s ascent, then filmed quickly down as something fell off.

They both stared at the live grenade, now on the ground.

“Fuck,” Gabe managed before he and Dean were scrambling the other way, making it a few yards before they both fell down and a loud _boom_ sent dirt showering on them.

The used rocket and play button hit the ground a lot further away.

Dean’s arm was over Gabe and Gabe’s leg was over Dean, both staring at the hole in the ground.

“That was _fucking_ ** _awesome!”_** Gabe yelled, throwing his arms out. “The fucking adrenaline! The explosion! Shit!!!”

Dean laughed in victory, eyes wild and sparkling. “I mean, that is precisely why I never get to blow stuff up but we _blew something up! Did you fucking_ ** _see_** _that?!”_

“You have _dirt_ in your _hair!_ That’s **_insane!”_**

“So do you!” Dean swung a leg over Gabriel, holding his face in his hands so he could rake back through his hair, loosing the dirt.

Only now Gabriel was propped on his elbows and Dean Winchester was straddling him and Dean Winchester had his hands in his hair and Dean Winchester was beautiful and breathless and covered in dirt.

He put a hand on Dean’s chest and Dean caught it with his own, holding it there, their stare building steadily in intensity.

Gabe licked his lips absently and didn’t miss the way Dean’s eyes followed the movement. “Maybe we could celebrate in the back of Baby?”

Dean shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“C’mon, Winchester. What possible excuse do you have left?”

“I just—“ Dean slowly pushed Gabriel’s hand down his chest, his stomach, lower, lower. “I don’t think we’re gonna make it to Baby.”

And if Gabriel still had other thoughts in his brain, they were gone. “I think you’re right,” he rumbled, fingers dipping just below the waistband of jean shorts, free hand traveling up bare thigh.

Dean’s hands rucked up Gabriel’s shirt, determined to feel the chest that had been teasing him for — well, since he moved into the neighborhood.

Gabriel’s fingers skirted the button and zipper of Dean’s shorts. “May I?”

“Fuck yes.”

A loud, obnoxious noise froze them both.

Dean reached for his back pocket, and Gabe grabbed his wrist. “Don’t you dare,” Gabriel said.

“It’s Sam’s ringtone so I gotta—“ He reached with his other hand, which Gabriel also caught.

“No. _No._ Winchester we are in the _middle_ of something!”

“Right and we can get _right back_ to that after I answer this—“

“If you answer that call we will _not_ be getting right back to this.” Gabriel glared at him, challenging.

Dean stared woefully at him. “But what if it’s about Jess?”

“He can call back!”

Dean twisted their hands, pinning Gabriel’s wrists above his head in one fluid motion. “It’ll just take a second, promise.” He switched his grip to one hand, answering his phone with the other. “Sam!”

Gabriel _fumed._

“Uh, yeah, hold on.” Dean pulled the phone back, hitting a button and staring at the camera. “Hey.”

“Dude, where are you?”

“A field. Blowing stuff up with Gabe. What’s up?”

“Ah. Tell your boyfriend I said hi.”

Dean rolled his eyes and looked down at Gabe. “Sam says hi.”

Gabriel’s jaw was set and there was goddamned _fire_ in his eyes. The not fun kind.

Dean looked back to the camera to see Sam staring blank faced, ears red.

“What?” Dean asked.

“… Please tell me you did not answer the phone right now.”

“You called? I answered? What—“ Dean inhaled sharply as he realized from Sam’s perspective, he had looked down to talk to Gabriel. “Oh, we’re not— we weren’t—“

“We _absolutely_ were,” Gabriel snapped, struggling harshly against Dean’s hand.

Sam cursed and ran his hands over his face. “Dean. We fucking _talked about this._ I _get_ that you always wanna be there but _put yourself first!_ Jesus _Christ!_ You haven’t stopped talking about this guy for _months_ and you pick up in the middle of— Just, fucking hell, man!”

“But what if Jess—“

“You _will not be allowed_ to come into the hospital in the current conditions! You _know_ this! So you can take your sweet-ass time getting here!”

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed. _“What.”_

Dean flinched. “Sam, we are already on the phone and I’m already in trouble so why did you call?”

“Was gonna congratulate you on your award. Charlie told me. I’m hanging up.”

“Ah, by—“ Dean cringed as Sam cut them off immediately. He stared at his phone, a bit afraid to look down at Gabriel again.

“Any time, Winchester!” Gabriel barked at him, yanking at his wrists. “You can go up there at _any time!_ As in, even two weeks later!”

“Gabe—“

“Get off me. Right now.”

“It’s not like—“

“Not like what? Not like you’ve been side-stepping me for no good reason? Or do you just take pleasure in toying with me? Or are you just a _goddamned_ ** _coward?!”_**

“I swear I’m not—“

“You think I want to hear what you have to say right now?!”

“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing with Cas!”

And Dean was _right,_ but Gabe was still mad and still kinda horny and still very hurt. “Get off.”

“No.”

Gabe yanked furiously at his wrists, trying to funnel all his emotions into something physical. But try as he might, he couldn’t seem to shake the fact that Dean could’ve kissed him, or hugged him, or pulled him in for a dance, or fucked him, or slept over with him. He could’ve done that any time he wanted to. And he didn’t.

There were those emotions again, rearing their ugly heads.

Gabe looked anywhere but Dean’s face, the fight somehow drained out of him. “I’m gonna call Cas to come get me.”

“I can drive us home, Gabe.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“You can pick the music.”

“I want you to go, Dean.”

Dean stared at Gabriel in something akin to agony. “Did I lose you?” he whispered.

And Gabe didn’t actually know how to tell him that he wanted Dean to rip his mask off and kiss him until he didn’t feel quite so… _used_ anymore. “No,” Gabe finally whispered. “But please go.”

“I… I can’t leave you like this.”

“Dammit, Dean,” Gabriel said, almost laughing. “Do you care about my feelings or not? I’m gonna need you to make up your mind. This back and forth is what’s killing me.”

“Of course I do,” Dean responded, sounding shocked that Gabriel would think anything else.

Gabe closed his eyes and thought about all the people who had said the same thing and only brought pain and suffering. “Promise me.”

“I promise I care about your feelings.” Dean released his wrists slowly, letting one hand rest against his cheek. “I promise I would never hurt you on purpose.”

Gabe let out a deep breath. “I trust you, Winchester. Don’t fuck that up.” He looked to Dean’s eyes and lost air to the absolute _pain_ in them.

“Okay,” Dean whispered. “Do you still want me to go?”

“Kinda.”

“…Okay. Then I’ll go.”

“Okay.” Gabe cleared his throat. “I’ll see you back home. Maybe we can go mushroom hunting again.”

“Maybe we can do something _you_ want to do.”

“I wanna see you smile,” Gabe whispered, unsure why that fact somehow hurt more than the others.

Dean thumbed at Gabriel’s cheek. “I want to see you smile, too.”

“Then it’s settled. We’ll smile.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

—

Castiel took one look at Gabriel before shaking his head, jaw clenched. “I’m going to kill him.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just update yesterday? yes  
> am i updating again today anyway? also yes

**_[Byron] 5:18pm_ ** _I’m sorry. I don’t remember if I actually said that or not_

Dean leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face. He was an idiot. He wasn’t exactly sure _why_ he was an idiot, but he was an idiot.

Story of his life.

**_[Gabrosie] 5:22pm_ ** _you didn’t, but the thought is appreciated_

Dean typed a message, backspaced it, then typed it again.

**_[Byron] 5:23pm_ ** _let me make it up to you_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:26pm_ ** _I’m not stopping you_

**_[Byron] 5:27pm_ ** _do you like burgers?_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:29pm_ ** _if you’re gonna get me something I can order curbside, don’t bother_

**_[Byron] 5:30pm_ ** _so something unique that no one else has_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:31pm_ ** _you got it_

**_[Byron] 5:32pm_ ** _knew there was a reason I was holding that unicorn hostage_

Gabe didn’t respond, and Dean did his best to not let that get to him. He pulled up a folder on his desktop (his laptop was still fucking gone, thank you very much) entitled “harebrained schemes” and scrolled through the documents. Surely he had _some_ awful idea that Gabe would love. Maybe a hoverbike? Tornado generator? A ray that makes people laugh uncontrollably?

He heard his doorbell ring and jumped. “The Wish stuff!” he exclaimed to himself, running downstairs. Maybe more than just Gabe would have corgi pants and a giant squid plushie, but at least they weren’t things he could find locally.

Dean swung open the door to see Castiel.

“Oh, hey,” Dean said, immediately stepping back and throwing on a mask. “Sorry, thought you were a package.”

Cas tilted his head to the side, and Dean made a _nevermind_ motion with his hand. “May I come in?” Cas asked.

“Uh, sure, yeah. At your own risk or whatever.” Dean let him inside, closing the door behind him. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “You and Gabriel left debris on my property. Gabriel is doing work at his house at the moment and refuses to answer my texts, so I’ve come to get you and take you to clean it up.”

Dean winced. “Ah, sorry man. Sure. Let me go grab some shoes.” He made it up two steps before swinging back around. “Oh, and there’s drinks in the fridge if you want anything.”

He trotted back up to his room, searching for any matching shoes. His phone vibrated and he almost fumbled it with how quickly he pulled it out of his pocket.

**_[Gabrosie] 5:44pm_ ** _today was pretty fun, btw. Tell your brother he’s a cockblock_

**_[Byron] 5:45pm_ ** _any day with you is a good day, Rosie_

**_[Byron] 5:45pm_ ** _we can forget I sent that_

**_[Byron] 5:45pm_ ** _I’ll be sure to tell Sam after I get all the debris cleaned up_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:46pm_ ** _??? we cleaned everything up???_

Dean leaned against his barren bed, frowning. Yeah, they had. They’d been extra careful cleaning, and it had been silent and awkward and Dean had hated every second of it.

**_[Byron] 5:47pm_ ** _I hurt you today, didn’t I?_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:48pm_ ** _maybe a bit._

Dean suddenly remembered with absolute clarity Castiel’s promise of what would happen if he hurt Gabriel again.

**_[Byron] 5:48pm_ ** _first off, again, sorry_

**_[Byron] 5:49pm_ ** _second off, your brother is trying to murder me_

There was the soft _ding_ of a phone outside his bedroom door.

“Did you just tattle on me?” Castiel asked, muffled, looking at a text from Gabriel that said, ‘are you fucking serious Castiel’.

“Jesus fuck,” Dean responded before throwing open his window and leaping out, rolling when he hit ground. He got up and took off running, vaguely aware that Castiel was probably chasing after him. His bare feet hit road and then grass as he veered into the only safe place he knew.

With full force, he ran at the side of Gabriel’s house, foot landing perfectly on the brick and launching him high enough to grab onto the windowsill. He knocked furiously on the glass.

Gabe threw open the window, eyes wide, sucker in his mouth. “Uh, we gotta stop meeting like this.”

Dean hauled himself through the opening and landed roughly on the carpet, breathing hard. “Call off your brother,” he wheezed out.

“I have zero control over that force of chaos,” Gabe said, even as he sent another text to Castiel.

Dean closed his eyes and focused on calming his heartbeat.

Gabriel crouched beside him. “You good?”

He shook his head. “No, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Did you not already know that or…?”

“Just got a vicious reminder, I think.” Dean finally looked around the room, taking note of all the odds and ends.

“You’re snooping.”

“You’re into photography?”

Gabe gave him a bitch face. “No. I just have a shit ton of old cameras.” He smacked the side of Dean’s head with no force. “Did you figure out how you’re gonna make up to me?”

“Not yet.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “You know it had nothing to do with you, right?”

“You roped me in so, yeah, actually, it did.”

“I mean—“ Dean sighed and sat up. “Yeah, okay? I could take this dumb thing off whenever I want to. But I _really_ don’t wanna wait two weeks to see my niece. Sam and I… we went through hell together, y’know? I want this for him. I want to see her as soon as I can.”

Gabe rolled his eyes. “I’m not an idiot, you know. I do get it. But I started out mad and like hell I’m gonna change it now.”

Dean shook his head. “I’m trying, okay? I’ve got a list of things I could make you that no one else has, but I don’t know if any of them are good enough.”

Gabe tilted his head, thinking. “You know, there aren’t many photos of you in existence.”

“Kinda had to stay out of the spotlight as a kid. Carried over into adult life.” Dean raised an eyebrow. “Do you just wanna take a photo of me?”

Gabe pondered that a moment. “Yeah, okay. Deal.”

Dean looked for a moment like he had expected his offer to be turned down. “Oh, okay. Alright. Um, where should I…?”

“Well, you could stand on that side of the room and I’ll stand over here. Then you can take your mask off and I can get that pretty smile.”

Dean weighed his options, then snatched the sucker out of Gabriel’s mouth on his way to his side of the room. He tossed the mask aside and stuck the candy between his lips, raising an eyebrow. “This good?”

Gabe’s mouth was still slightly open. “Um. Yeah. That’s… yeah.”

Dean grinned at him, open-mouthed, and Gabriel had to try very hard to remember why he was angry in the first place. He chose a camera and loaded it up, changing a few settings.

“I know you _look_ like a model, but just relax and pose however feels natural, okay?” Gabe murmured.

“I’ll just copy the ads I see in magazines.”

He snorted. “That’ll work.” He double-checked everything on the camera before looking back up to Dean. “Alright. You ready?”

Dean took a deep breath of confidence. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

Gabe brought the camera up at the same time that Dean took his shirt off.

Gabriel was very glad that the camera came with a neck strap, because he promptly dropped it. “Um.”

“Was this not what you—“

“I just didn’t know you meant—“

“We don’t have to—“

Gabe held out a hand frantically. “Wait! Okay look, you and I just really need to communicate better. So here. You look sexy as hell, and I _absolutely_ want to take this photo. More than one, really, if I’m being honest.”

Dean nodded slowly, thinking his words over before saying them. “And I really want you to take them.”

Gabe looked from the cherry red sucker to the bare chest to the jean shorts. “Then I’m a lucky man.”

“Can I ask you something?” Dean leaned back against the wall, one arm over his head, sucker loosely between his lips, miles of tanned skin quickly dismantling Gabriel’s head.

Gabe picked his camera back up slowly. “Uh. Yeah. Sure.” He snapped a photo and waited for the polaroid to feed out.

“Was it the cockblocking that upset you or something else?” He toyed with his shorts button, looking at Gabe down the bridge of his nose.

“Something else.” Gabe took another photo, laying the first one down to develop.

“Mind telling me what it was?” He unbuttoned his shorts, then coughed awkwardly. “Uh, for the record, I did wash these.”

“Wash—?”

Dean undid his zipper and Gabriel may or may not have stopped breathing for a moment.

Dean pulled his shorts down below his hips, letting the pink satin and lace peek out. “You’re the only person who knows about this, by the way.”

Gabriel’s entire mouth was both dry and kinda drooly. “I uh, I did not know about this.”

Dean paused. “I told you? Yesterday?”

“Yeah no, no. I have zero memory of that. I really wish I did. Like really. _Really.”_

Dean’s face was red. “Well uh. I guess now you know again.”

“I guess I do.” He held up the camera, doing his best not to let his hands shake. “Dean Winchester likes to wear his lay’s underwear.”

“…I bought these.”

Gabe inhaled sharply. “We are much too far apart right now.” He snapped another photo. “I should be pissed at you more often, if this is what happens.”

“Yeah, you liked them yesterday, too.” He hooked his thumbs in the panties. “So. Explain?”

“Explain what? I apparently have a kink for anything that involves panties and you?”

“You know what I meant.” He lifted his hips off the wall and slid the shorts off.

Gabe followed the movement with his eyes, face red. “Uh well. I can’t really think straight right now.”

“Nothing about this is straight.”

“Valid. Um, no. I was upset because you’ve been toying with me.” He squinted. “Are you toying with me now?”

Dean stared. “Y’know, for all your show-off-ish-ness and whatever else, you’re really damn self-doubting.”

 _“Excuse_ you?”

“You _really_ think I’ve just been _pretending_ to be into you for what? Fun?”

Gabe felt trapped. “Um. Well.”

“I get it. Feeling unworthy of extended attention. But uh. Dude. I’m into you. It takes all my self-control to not just ring your doorbell and push you back inside when you answer and act out my favorite porno scenes.”

“Good to know.” Gabe took another picture to keep his mind off what was happening.

“And I go to bed looking forward to tomorrow, because you’re gonna be in it.” Dean leveled a pointed look at him. “Gabe? I’ve _never_ been excited about tomorrows before.”

“Dean—“

“I’ve got… all these damn feelings that I want to work out, but I don’t wanna work them out with anyone but you.” Dean put his hands against his own ass and pushed the panties off. “You wanna know the truth?”

Gabe couldn’t be trusted to make actual words, so he nodded instead.

Dean walked over to a table, where a box with a corresponding black band was sitting. He turned it on and picked the band up, leaning back against the wall, threading it through his fingers. “Gabe. I’m falling in love with you.”

And Gabe didn’t even have to look at the box to know Dean wasn’t lying.

“You’re frustrating,” Dean continued. “And childish. And dramatic. And an even bigger asshole than me. And I want to explore every facet of you until I know you inside and out. And I don’t know what to do about that, and maybe I shouldn’t have told you, but I did. And I think maybe you feel it too, and you got upset not because Sam cockblocked you, but because I could’ve kissed you.”

Gabe breathed in and exhaled shakily. “Naked man confessing his love for me? What circle of Heaven is this?”

Dean held up a finger. “Hold it. I didn’t say I was in love with you. I said I was _falling_ in love with you. There’s a difference.”

“There is,” Gabe agreed.

“And I don’t want you to say anything back, regardless of what it is, because I’m new to all of this _love_ shit and I can’t handle anything else.”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

“What we have is… it’s good. I don’t wanna fuck it up. I don’t wanna name it.”

Gabriel took one more picture silently, thinking. “You said you wanna make it up to me?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Then come here.” Gabe held out a hand and Dean took it, all warmth and grasping and trusting. Gabe tossed him a mask and he put it on hesitantly, tossing the sucker in the trash, letting himself be led to the bed. “Lay down.”

Dean laid back on the bed, eyes never leaving Gabriel’s. His hands rested above his head, his chest rising and falling like the ocean tides. Gabe let his eyes wander. Here was Dean Byron Winchester, entirely naked, laying ready and willing and flushed on his bed.

Gabe climbed on after him, laying beside him, facing him, one hand lightly brushing his hair.

Dean licked his lips under the mask, studying Gabriel’s face like it was the secret to the universe, like maybe if he stared long enough he’d understand why a future without Gabriel felt like a textbook definition of Hell.

Gabe wrapped Dean in his arms and burrowed his nose in his neck.

Dean froze. “Uh—“

“You wanna make it up to me? Really? Stay. For a while. Stay with me.”

Dean swallowed harshly, then pulled Gabe closer to him, closing his eyes. “Okay.”

They laid silently, listening to each other’s heartbeats, each other’s breathing.

“I’m sorry too,” Gabriel finally whispered.

Dean’s cheek was smushed against the top of his head. “Hm?” he mumbled sleepily.

“For blowing up on you. What you do is your own decision. So if you wanna wait til you get back from your family to… figure us out, then… okay. That’s what we’ll do.”

Dean was snug against Gabriel, arms around him, hands resting gently on back and hair. “Okay.”

“You’re the perfect snuggling size.”

“Shhh,” Dean shushed him, already half-asleep. “It’s bedtime.”

“You probably shouldn’t fall asleep here.” Gabe heard the distinct sound of snoring. “Dean. _Dean.”_

Dean was asleep, holding Gabe close.

“Dumbass,” Gabe whispered fondly, closing his eyes as well. “I’m falling in love with you, too.”

—

Charlie looked up as Castiel entered the living room. “Did it work?”

“Of course it worked. Dean ran directly to Gabriel’s.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why I bother getting mad anymore. All of their problems are just because they won’t _talk_ to each other.”

“Good work.” She high-fived him as he walked by. “They better invite us to their wedding.”

“Honestly, what would they do without us?”

She shrugged. “Be sad and lonely, I guess.”

“Horrific.” He handed her a hard cider, which she raised to him.

“To meddling,” she toasted.

“To meddling.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you see these chickens? 🐓🐓🐓 they gay  
> and they changed the rating to explicit which c'mon we all knew was coming (pun unintended)  
> if that ain't your thing, scroll to the end author's note and I'll have a summary of the chapter

Dean woke up slow.

That wasn’t something he was used to doing. He slept horribly and woke up violently, up and at ‘em before he had even rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He had been like that for as long as he could remember.

But today. He woke up slow.

He woke up warm, and comfortable, and with a feeling of inexplicable _safety._ He was tangled up in _someone,_ and he opened his eyes to wild hair.

Gabriel. He woke up next to Gabriel.

Gabe’s arm was thrown across Dean’s chest, his leg across Dean’s legs. His face was smushed firmly into Dean’s shoulder, and he was breathing through his mouth like a goddamned heathen.

Dean held his breath in a vain hope that his hiccups would go away.

Gabe grumpily hit him in the chest, still mostly asleep. “Stop wigglin’,” he grumped.

“Sorry,” Dean whispered back. “You’re just such a damn nerd.”

Gabriel’s face screwed up in a smile and he finally opened one eye, squinting at Dean. “You got excited over glow-in-the-dark mushrooms. You’re the nerd here.”

“Hmm, maybe. I’ll allow you that one.” He closed his eyes and snuggled further into Gabriel and their blanket nest. “We can just go back to sleep, y’know. That’s an option.”

“I like that option,” Gabe breathed against Dean’s neck, which was, of course, unfair. “But I did just suddenly remember that you are absolutely naked, which presents a _plethora_ of options.”

Dean hummed in acknowledgment, running a hand down Gabriel’s shirt and back up under it. “Like what?”

He didn’t need to look to know Gabriel was smirking. “I was thinking we could play a game.”

“And what game would that be?”

Gabe walked his fingers up Dean’s chest. “Gay chicken.”

Dean’s laugh rumbled lazily in his chest. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but it’s a bit unfair, you know. Because I can use my mouth,” Gabe demonstrated by running his tongue across Dean’s neck, “and you can’t.”

“Mmm. The cons of a face mask.”

“Tell Batman.”

Dean snorted. “Alright. You can’t use your hands. Even things up.”

Gabriel’s eyes sparkled darkly. “What happens if I use them anyway?”

“Then I win.” Dean peeked down at Gabe. “Obviously.”

“And what do you get if you win?”

Dean plopped his head back on the pillow and grinned, before pushing Gabe down and straddling him. “Anything I want.”

Gabe grabbed Dean’s ass and yanked him down. “And what do you want?” he asked smoothly.

“Well, for starters, I want this off,” Dean informed him, lifting Gabriel’s shirt off, hands mapping skin.

“Mmmm. And what else?” He rocked his hips up against Dean.

Dean unbuttoned Gabe’s pants and pushed them and his boxers off. “I want you.”

Gabriel met his eyes, mischievous and dark and captivating. “And where do you want me?”

Dean grabbed Gabriel’s hands and held them harder against his ass as he ground down against Gabe’s dick. “Everywhere.” He dragged their hands closer to the cleft of his ass. “Here.”

“Hmm… here?” Gabriel ran his fingers teasingly across Dean’s entrance. “I think I could do that.”

Dean’s breath hitched slightly. “Good, because you’ve already lost.”

“Hmm? Oh, would you look at that!” Gabe bounced his eyebrows. “Looks like you win, Winchester.”

“Well, I’m not a _Lose_ chester.”

Gabriel stared at the ceiling for a moment. “Were this not a moment I’ve been waiting for for ages now, I would kick you out of my bed for that atrocity.”

Dean smirked, raising himself up so he could grab Gabriel’s dick. “But you won’t.”

“I hate that you know me so well.”

“It’s mutual.”

“Mmm, but it isn’t. I remember _someone_ telling me they were _quite_ attracted to me last night,” Gabriel snarked, rubbing teasing circles.

“L-let’s forget that,” Dean breathed out, copying the movement on the head of Gabriel’s dick.

“Let’s not. I like that.” He reached out a hand blindly to his bedside table for lube. The moment he grabbed it, Dean’s phone blared.

They stared wordlessly at each other.

“I’m… I’m not gonna answer it,” Dean said, giving Gabe’s dick a tug. “Not right now.”

Gabriel looked between the lube and the phone and Dean, and grabbed the phone. “Yes you are.”

“… okay look you kinda blew up on me yesterday for—“

“Go ahead. You weren’t gonna answer it. You caved, so now I gotta cave, too.” He gave Dean a genuine soft smile. “It’s okay. Promise.”

Dean looked at the phone cautiously. “It’s work.”

“Dean. Go ahead. I will feel insanely guilty if you don’t.”

He sighed and grabbed his phone. “Fine. But only for you.” Dean answered the phone before he could think about that too much. “Hey, Rory. What’s up?”

Gabriel rubbed his lubed fingers over Dean’s asshole.

Dean yelped and almost tumbled off the bed. “What? I’m fine! There was just a— a spider!” He gave Gabriel a _what the fuck_ look, and Gabriel grabbed him and pinned him down, leering.

Dean muted himself on the phone as Rory babbled on about something. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed.

“What? I thought you wanted me… _everywhere?”_ He licked a stripe across Dean’s nipples before kissing down his torso.

“Damn you,” Dean groaned before unmuting himself. “So the newest big bad is actually _two_ big bads next season? Why the change?”

Gabriel kissed up the side of his dick before swallowing it in one motion, Dean’s hips jerking off the bed.

“Mmmmm-hm, yeah, yeah I can see that. Sure.”

He pushed one finger in and hummed around Dean’s dick, slowly sliding off.

“Fuck! Ah, you already have two actors who made the cut? That’s awesome!”

He slowly picked up speed, dragging his tongue along the bottom and stretching Dean until he could slip a second finger in, which, really, didn’t take very long. Maybe he should’ve searched Dean’s room better when he was there…

“I’msorrydidyousayhusband.”

Gabe crooked his fingers and hollowed his cheeks, and Dean bit down on the pillow to keep from moaning.

“I mean uh, yeah, husband, of course. When did you two…?”

Dean’s legs were shaking with effort, and Gabriel dragged his free hand across miles of thigh.

“Wow okay. Um, yeah. Hey, can I call you back in a bit? I’ve gotta check my burgers. Yeah, okay. Okay. See ya.” Dean hung up before yelling out, “Holy _fuck!”_ His lips parted and he moaned manically, hips thrusting between Gabe’s mouth and hand.

Gabe popped off with a hum, free hand replacing his mouth. “So. How’s work?”

Dean’s response wasn’t a real word, and Gabriel licked up the side of his dick again.

“Hmm, I think what _you_ need, since you want me _everywhere,_ is—“ Gabriel angled his fingers until Dean choked, rubbing slowly at his prostate. “Yeah?”

And it was a _yes_ if Dean’s writhing and moaning was anything to go by.

Gabe grinned. “That’s what I thought.”

Dean gasped in a breath. “A-are you go-gonna fuck me or…?”

“Or what? Just keep teasing you forever? I’m leaning towards the second option right now, but I suppose I could be persuaded.” He slid a third finger in, and Dean wrapped his legs around Gabe, holding him still.

“You. Inside me. Now.”

“Mmm, bossy.” Gabriel retracted his fingers and kissed and sucked his way back up Dean’s body. “I like that.”

Dean was already fumbling with the bedside drawer, finding a condom and tearing it open with his teeth.

Gabriel watched him with rapt attention. “Hey, have I ever mentioned you’re really fucking hot?”

Dean rolled the condom onto Gabe’s dick. “Maybe once or twice.” He wrapped his legs back around Gabriel. “Less talking.”

“You’re a pillow princess but like, a demanding one.” Gabriel slid in slowly. Or, tried to. But Dean pressed his heels into Gabriel’s ass and he slid home in one go. “Oh fuck,” Gabe breathed.

Dean threw his head back, chest rising and falling. “Gabriel I have waited for this moment since the first time I saw you shirtless so if you could go ahead and _fucking_ ** _move_** that would be swell.”

“Such filth, my Byron,” he mumbled, pulling out and pushing back in. “Has this been hiding in you the whole time?”

“Your dick? I wish.” He rocked his hips impatiently. “By the way, once this is done—“ Gabe cut him off with a quick thrust, followed by another, picking up a rhythm.

“Once this is done?” Gabe prompted, dropping his head to suck at Dean’s neck.

“Fuck,” Dean breathed. “Once this is d-done, we go-gotta talk about you an-answering my phone.”

“Mm, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Later,” Dean promised, letting out a moan.

Gabriel’s hands were on either of Dean’s cheeks, elbows braced against the bed. “Why— are you— so damn— sexy?”

“Years of— practice.”

Gabriel let out a whining sound, biting at Dean’s chest. “I’m fa— falling in — in love with — with you, too.” He dropped one hand to Dean’s dick, tugging in time with his thrusts. “Also you better come with me because — this is gonna be one of those boneless orgasms where I — can’t do anything for a while.”

Gabriel felt hands against his cheeks and then he was dragged in, lips pressing against a mask that was pressing against lips. Dean kissed him harder through the fabric, and Gabe could feel the outlines of his lips, the warmth, the breath, and he was undone.

He came with his eyebrows drawn up in pleasure at the sex, sure, but mostly at the sudden desperation of wanting to fully kiss Dean. And based on the now-stickiness between them and the fact that he could feel Dean’s lips parted almost against his own, Dean felt it, too.

Gabe pulled out and collapsed on top of Dean, breathing hard against his neck.

Dean looked half-heartedly for something to clean themselves off with but soon gave up to just holding Gabe’s sweat-slick body. “Probably shouldn’t have— shouldn’t have done that, huh?”

“I’m gonna dream about that,” Gabriel murmured. “Right now. Sleep. Bedtime.”

“Mmm,” Dean agreed. “I think you sleep-answered my phone this morning.”

“Did I?” Gabriel mumbled, already half-asleep.

“I don’t know how else Rory got ‘confirmation’ that you were my husband and that we’d be the next big bads in _Dr. Sexy.”_

Gabe bit disapprovingly at Dean’s collarbone. “Sleep now. Panic later.”

“We’re gonna get stuck together.”

Gabriel groaned melodramatically and flailed around for his shirt, wiping them off. “There. Sleep. Us. Now.”

And Gabe was warm and squishy and draped over him, and there wasn’t much Dean could do to stay awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabe and Dean wake up together, they do the frickity frack, Dean gets a work call in the middle which Gabe tells him is okay to answer, Dean kisses Gabe through his mask, and it turns out Gabriel must've sleep-answered Dean's phone earlier bc Dean's entire work thinks they're married and apparently Gabe told them they would be the next big bads on Dr. Sexy MD
> 
> Oh and also Gabe tells Dean he's falling for him too but it's in the middle of frick fracking so does it really count? Discuss.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my wish stuff is finally coming in omg

Gabriel woke up first. He was vaguely aware that he was very naked, and he was pressed up against someone who was also very naked. He peeked one eye open to see Dean fast asleep still, legs tangled with his, half-crushing his body, face pressed into Gabriel’s chest.

Gabe ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. He briefly wondered if he would always wake up to such a beautiful sight, then quickly shut that thought down. Hope was the enemy of a happy man.

And Gabe was happy. This was what he had wanted. Well. _This morning_ was what he had wanted. Now he had a naked Dean in bed with him and no idea of what his next move was supposed to be. He didn’t often _wake up_ with people.

And, dammit, he kinda had to piss.

He tried to move, but Dean furrowed his brow and yanked him tighter, refusing to let go.

“Damn you,” Gabe whispered, still trying to extract himself.

Dean made some sleepy sound and pressed a still-asleep, masked kiss to Gabe’s chest.

“You’re not allowed to be cute,” Gabe informed him, offended. He finally gave up fighting, allowing Dean to curl his arms tighter against his sides, his legs somehow even more tangled than before.

Gabe rested one hand on Dean’s back and reached for his phone with his other.

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:13am_ ** _Charlie I need help_

 **_[Charlie] 11:14am_ ** _what’s up_

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:14am_ ** _what do you do when someone falls asleep on you_

 **_[Charlie] 11:15am_ ** _this sounds like the setup to a joke. Um, I dunno, what?_

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:15am_ ** _jfc I need actual help here, I’m lost_

 **_[Charlie] 11:16am_ ** _I really don’t know how to answer that? Move them??_

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:16am_ ** _Dean!!! Is!!! Asleep!!! On my chest!!! What do!!! I do?!?!?!_

 **_[Charlie] 11:17am_ ** _oh shit_

 **_[Charlie] 11:17am_ ** _what do you WANT to do?_

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:18am_ ** _I don’t know_

 **_[Test Subject’s Boyfriend] 11:18am_ ** _I don’t wanna move_

 **_[Charlie] 11:19am_ ** _then start with that._

Gabriel groaned quietly and closed her texts, looking back down at Dean. He looked so… peaceful there.

Was that creepy? It felt creepy. He felt like he should stop looking right away and do literally anything else.

But Dean’s left cheek was smushed the way he was laying, and his right hand was tucked neatly under Gabriel. His eyelashes fluttered as he dreamed of who knows what, and god… Gabriel wanted to keep this moment forever.

He took a picture with his phone, Dean pressed against him like he was something worth being pressed against.

—

Dean opened his eyes blearily, vaguely aware that he got _way_ too much sleep.

“Oh thank fuck,” Gabriel said somewhere above him. “I’ve gotta piss so fucking bad.”

Dean blinked away the sleep and lifted his head to look at Gabriel, who had apparently stopped scrolling on some app when he felt Dean move. “Then… piss?”

“I didn’t want to— nevermind, move.” Gabriel skillfully untangled them and speed-walked to the bathroom, leaving Dean somewhat grumpy at the lack of warmth beside him. He closed his eyes and was still somehow almost asleep again when he heard Gabe laugh.

“You’re joking. You’re still tired.”

“Are we still not questioning us?” Dean asked, voice muffled by the mattress his face was currently pressed into.

“I guess not.”

Dean lifted one arm and patted the bed beside him, and Gabe rolled his eyes and sat down. Dean easily pushed him back down and splayed himself across him, face firmly back against Gabe’s chest.

Gabe looked down and shook his head. “Princess,” he teased. “I didn’t know you were a cuddler.”

“Me neither,” Dean grumbled. “Never tell anyone.”

“I make no such promises.” Gabe dropped a kiss to his head, then froze. It was one thing to do that when it drove Winchester insane. It was another entirely to press a kiss to the head of the man currently cuddling him in his own bed.

But Dean didn’t seem to notice or care, because his eyes were drooping again, and one of his hands had somehow sought out one of Gabriel’s.

By the time Dean’s phone rang, both were asleep again.

Dean groaned and pressed his forehead to Gabe’s arm. “Tell it to shut up.”

Gabe reached blindly for the phone, bringing it to his face and saying, “Hello?” before thinking better of it.

“Gabe?” Jess’s voice came through. “Did you steal Dean’s phone again?”

“Uh,” Gabe blinked open his eyes and looked at Dean, who was, again, asleep. “Sure.”

“Okay, well, we’re calling to let him know I’m in labor.”

Gabe was suddenly very much awake. “Oh! How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, actually! Sam is freaking out hardcore.” There was another panicked voice, and Jess shushed him. “Uh, just let Dean know? We’ll see him when he gets here.”

“Yeah, for sure. Be safe, congrats, et cetera.”

“Thanks. See ya!”

Gabe stared at the screen a moment before jostling Dean. “Dean. _Dean.”_

Dean plopped his hand over Gabriel’s mouth.

Gabe licked it and, when that got no response other than a hum, shook it off his face. “Your niece is on her way.”

“My niece…?” Dean’s eyes shot open and he was sitting straight up in a heartbeat. “My niece.” He ran to the bathroom, leaving Gabriel in a stupor. “Find my clothes!”

Gabriel looked around the mess of a room and frowned. “How many do you need?”

“I’ll be gone for a week! So get two extra days, just in case!”

Something in Gabriel’s stomach felt decidedly abysmal. “A whole week?”

Dean was running back past him, grabbing underwear before sprinting back to the shower. “I’m gonna keep the house in order while they figure out a bit of this baby stuff!”

Gabe set about slowly folding the required clothing. “Gotcha.”

“I’ll be sure to send lots of pics!”

“Aw, you gonna miss me?” Gabe tried to snark, but it only came out genuine.

“That’s a question, which is not allowed today.”

Gabriel put on one of Dean’s shirts and a pair of his own boxers, sitting back down on the bed. The covers were all kinds of messed up, a pillow had been pushed off onto the floor, and there was a row of polaroids on the bedside table.

_Oh._

Gabe picked them up and examined them, now in the daylight. Dean was… stunning. In a damning sort of way. As in, Gabriel was damned to forever compare every other stunning thing to Dean for the rest of his life.

Dean was back in the room, water falling from his hair still as he grabbed an outfit. “What are— oh.”

Gabe held up the one of Dean in his panties. “You’re beautiful.”

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly, tugging on his boxers. “Shut it.”

“I mean it.”

“Gabe.” Dean pressed his hands into the mattress on either side of Gabriel, their faces inches apart. Dean smirked. “You’re sitting on my shirt.”

Gabe handed him the shirt, face red.

“I’ll be back in a week, okay? And then… then we can question it all we want.”

“And we can talk about the Doctor Sexy thing?”

Dean groaned. “Fuck. I forgot about that. I gotta call Rory back on my way out.”

“Should I be concerned about you calling another man? I mean, I _am_ apparently your husband, after all.”

Dean snorted. “You’re not my husband. You’re my—…”

Gabe raised an eyebrow, propping his chin on his hand. “I’m your what, Winchester?”

Dean pointed at him. “Not allowed today.” He grabbed his phone, then sighed. “Best friend with benefits. I don’t know.”

“The benefit is sex.”

“The benefit is sex,” Dean agreed. “And lucky for us, I record all my phone conversations.”

Gabriel laughed in shock, hands out. “Wait a fucking second.”

“Hm?” Dean hummed absently, scrolling.

“You have a recording of us doing the phone sex stuff.”

“Ummmmmm yeah, I do.” He shrugged. “You have a recording of us with our kissless makeout session in your backyard so. Even Stevens.”

Gabe snapped. “I’ll send you mine if you send me yours.”

“Deal.” Dean hit speaker on his phone and went to pack the folded clothes in the duffel bag that Gabe had _also_ stolen.

_“Hello?” Groggy. Gabriel._

_“Uh, hiya. Is this Dean?”_

_“Nope.”_

_“Oh fuck. Is this Gabriel?”_

_“You know about me?”_

_“My dude. My guy. The whole office knows about you.”_

_“Mmm. It’s me.”_

_Rory paused a moment, then, slyly said, “You know, we’ve been talking about the next season of Dr. Sexy. I’m sure you’ve heard all about it?”_

_“Some.”_

_“So, the single big bad guy. We’ve all been watching your YouTube show. And you two have inspired us. We want to make the next big bad two husbands. Get some extra representation in there. And we were thinking, since you two do such a good job acting as if you’re_ **_not_ ** _married, you’d be the perfect fit.”_

_“Yeah, sure.”_

_Rory laughed in victory. “Awesome! We haven’t scheduled when filming starts, but be sure to get Dean to call me to go over more details. I really can’t wait to meet that disaster’s husband in person. You have to tell me_ **_every_ ** _embarrassing detail.”_

_“Only if you do the same.”_

_“Pfft. Deal. I gotta get back to rewriting. I’ll see you hopefully sometime this fall.”_

_“Good luck.”_

The recording ended, and Gabriel’s hands were over his face as Dean shook his head, laughing. “Sure?” Dean imitated Gabriel. “Sure. Not ‘we’re not married’, not ‘we’re not husbands’, just ‘sure’.”

Gabriel grinned. “The whole _office_ knows about us?”

“I complain sometimes! It happens!”

“Like you told Sam and Jess that I was, oh how did you phrase it? ‘Acting like this entire neighborhood was some sort of nude beach’?”

Dean groaned, leaning back against the floor. “Sam’s a snitch.”

Gabriel laughed and slid off the bed, sitting cross-legged beside Dean. “It’s what brothers are for. You know, for some reason I remember _you_ telling Rory ‘yeah sure, husbands’ earlier. Did you… _double confirm_ that?”

Dean jabbed his finger at Gabriel’s chest. “Look. I have _read_ the original script, and there was a romance between Doctor Sexy and the big bad. I have to _assume_ that now there is a three-way, and like _fuck_ are you taking that away from me.”

“A _three-way?_ Is Doctor Sexy a _porno,_ Winchester?”

“It’s… soft porn. Like. Old lady porn. Daytime television porn.”

Gabriel scrunched up his nose, grinning. “And how is there a _big bad_ in a medical drama? What are we gonna be, the virus?”

“We’re gonna be mafia bosses in charge of a large drug operation.”

Gabriel threw his head back and laughed, hand against his forehead. “Oh my god. You really _are_ gonna run a meth lab.”

“No, _we_ are gonna run a meth lab.” Dean zipped up his duffel. “And we’re probably gonna have to take some acting classes before filming starts.”

“I suppose I shall indulge your hobbies. Isn’t that what husbands are supposed to do?”

“This is gonna be a long season.”

“Am I taking your last name or are you taking mine?”

“Well, I hate my name, so…”

“But it’s so badass!”

Dean shook his head. “Bad connotations. But I sure as hell ain’t taking _your_ last name.”

Gabriel shoved him gently. “We can use the next week to think up a new last name for us _both.”_

“Then when the season is over, we can get fake-divorced or something.”

Gabe gasped, one hand to his chest. “Why, Byron! I pledged myself to you for _life!_ How dare you throw around divorce so casually?!”

Dean chuckled, snatching his laptop from a nearby surface. “You don’t know what being stuck with me forever means.”

“I think it means wake-up sex and late-night nude photography sessions. Maybe a bit of mutual trauma thrown in. Only time will tell.”

Dean side-eyed Gabriel, smirking. “Maybe.”

“I mean, you _did_ say you saw yourself with me in ten years so—“

Dean put his hand against Gabriel’s cheek and traced his thumb across his bottom lip, effectively shutting him up. “We can talk about this later.”

Gabriel pressed a kiss to his thumb, raising one brow in question.

Dean licked his lips in thought, then pulled his hand away. “No, nope, don’t have time for that. Gotta hit the road.”

“Free up the week after you get back, Winchester. You’re all mine.” Gabe wiggled his eyebrows, grabbing his lipstick from the bedside table.

“We’ll see if you can handle me that long.” Dean winked at him, standing up and slinging his duffel over his shoulder. “I’ll see ya in a week, Gabe.”

Gabe stood up with him. “You better call. It’s going to be boring without you here to infuriate me.” He grabbed Dean's face and kissed his cheek harshly, earning himself a laugh.

Dean rubbed at his cheek, blushing. “We’ll see.”

“What? No! Call me, you ass!” Gabe yelled after him as he headed down the stairs.

Dean laughed loudly, walking out the front door and over to Castiel’s.

Cas was sitting in his front lawn, writing something down in a notebook. “Hello, Dean.”

“Hey. You still trying to kill me?”

“Gabriel dissuaded me.” He looked up. “What can I do for you?”

“I didn’t have a fever, did I?”

“I walked into your home without hesitation, so you get one guess.”

“That’s what I figured. Thanks.” He waved and went over to Baby, popping her trunk.

“You look as if you’re leaving for a while, so tell Jess and Sam that I said congratulations!”

“Will do! Make sure Gabriel doesn’t pull anything dumb.”

“Do not ask the impossible of me.”

Dean snorted and looked at his front door, where a few packages were laying. “Ah, fuck. The Wish stuff.” He turned back to Cas. “Cas! Tell Charlie to call me when she wakes up! I have a job for her!”

“Will do. Drive safe, Dean.”

Dean glanced at Gabriel’s house, where Gabe waved from the window.

Dean waved back, chest hurting for some reason. “One week,” he reminded himself. “It’s only one week.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be sorry for the delay but I gOT MARRIED, THAT'S RIGHT, I TRICKED SOMEONE INTO SPENDING FOREVER WITH ME

Dean had kinda missed the road.

Don’t get him wrong; he was happy to be off it finally. After years of running with his dad away from invisible monsters, waking up to the same ceiling every morning was amazing. He had a kitchen. He had a grill. He had friends that knew his name a year later.

But there was something about driving, something unrelated to his past. He just… _liked_ it. And sometimes he could pin down why, if he focused hard enough.

There was nothing to worry about while driving.

Even if he sat there and thought about everything he had to do, he couldn’t do any of it. His hands had to stay on the wheel. And so his brain just… didn’t worry.

The sun shone in through Baby’s windows, warming him up and relaxing him. He had a long drive ahead of him to California, and he intended to enjoy every minute of it.

When the silence needed something in it — just absently, not desperately — he pressed play, letting the last cassette resume its winding journey.

**_If I seem to come on too strong_ **

**_I hope that you will understand_ **

**_I say these things ‘cause I’d like to know_ **

**_If you’re as lonely as I am_ **

**_And if you’d mind_ **

**_Sharing the night together_ **

Dean shook his head and smiled at Dr. Hook still loaded where he and Gabe had left off.

Here Gabriel was, permeating even the air in his car.

Dean couldn’t even be mad.

His phone rang and he turned the radio down, answering it without looking down. “Hello?”

“Hey, Test Subject.”

Dean scrunched up his face. “Uh?”

“It’s Charlie.”

“OH! Hey, Charles. What goes it?”

“Cas said I was supposed to call you?”

“That’s right!” Dean rolled down his window so he could lean his elbow out of the car. “My Wish stuff came in.”

“Anything cool?”

“Kinda. But I didn’t get to get it before leaving. And I know you were joking when you said to get Gabe stuff as a secret admirer but I uh…”

“You did it, didn’t you.”

“…I did.”

“You’re disgustingly sweet. I’m gonna vomit.”

“I need you to get the packages off my porch and hide the stuff for Gabe on his doorstep. Don’t get caught, he has cameras. And don’t tell him either of us put it there.”

“How will I know what’s for him?”

“Uh, send me pics of the stuff. A couple things are for you and Cas.”

“Again with the sweetness.”

“Let me show love how I want to, dammit!”

Charlie grinned. “Love you too, Winchester.” She hummed thoughtfully. “Heard you slept in today.”

“… I don’t like the way you said that.”

“I may or may not have been on the receiving end of a few panicked text messages.”

Dean waved as someone passed him. “Panicked?”

“Not in a bad way. Just in an inexperienced with the situation way.”

“Uh-huh. And what did you tell him?”

“I told him to do what he wanted to do.”

Dean couldn’t help the soft smile on his face. “Yeah well… thanks for that.”

“I’m as invested in this relationship as you two are.”

He laughed at that. “Yeah, I can tell. What about you? You talking to any pretty ladies?”

“Not seriously, no. I think I’m okay with just… existing right now. It’s nice just being me and Cas, not having to worry about anything other than friendship.”

“Charlie, I hate to break it to ya, but if you’ve been dating girls who aren’t your friends, you’ve been missing out.”

“I know. I just don’t have a lot of friends. Moved around too much for that.”

“Cheers, I’ll drink to that.” Dean looked out across the fields of corn. “Hey, if single is what you wanna be, then own it, girl. Nothing wrong with that.”

Charlie laughed softly. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Think I am gonna give myself an eyebrow slit though. Just to signal to other girls that I’d be down for going down.”

Dean barked out a laugh. “Oh god. If it turns out good, I’ll let you give me one, too.”

“…Oh my god really?”

“Sure. Time is relative, nothing really matters, make me look gayer.”

“Well then fuck, I’m gonna wait and we can do it together.”

“I look forward to it.” Dean grinned.

“Ugh me too. I’m gonna go start my super secret mission, so I’ll call you back later?”

“Sounds good. See ya, Charles.”

“See ya, Test Subject.”

Dean turned the music back up and let the road take him away.

—

Gabriel, on the other hand, was sitting in his room, staring at nothing.

Sex was supposed to be the _end_ of it, dammit! One good romp! That’s what he kept telling himself! One good roll around the covers and all the stupid-ass feelings in his chest would exit his body via Route Sixty-Dick.

But now Dean had left his bed — which he usually _wanted_ — and Dean had run off without a real goodbye — which, again, he usually _wanted_ — and now he was sitting in his room, looking at nothing, because it was easier to look at nothing than admit that maybe he was still falling.

Sex was supposed to be the parachute. The ground. The _something._ It was supposed to stop his fall so he could get back up, dust himself off, and go about his normal life again.

But no. Sex was a goddamned anchor Dean had strapped to his midriff so he’d fall even _faster_ with no new plan for landing.

He had thought landing meant that the falling bit was just erased entirely. But now Gabriel was rather entirely terrified that landing just meant a point of no return. Because _dammit_ there were so many things to remember about the morning! So many sounds! Sights! Tastes! And all that was going through Gabriel’s mind was the way Dean looked asleep against his chest. Smushed. Dorky. Derpy.

That’s what Dean was. He was dorky. He was a nerd. He was so far from everything Gabriel had ever wanted. Gabe had always assumed that, if he ever fell for anyone, he would fall for someone badass. Someone who rode a motorcycle and left lipstick stains on his shirts or rips in his jeans and knew what fashion was.

Instead he got a fucking _chemist_ who blows stuff up poorly and wakes him up at ass o’clock to go on field trips and hiccups when he has butterflies and thinks plaid shirts and board shorts are a valid combination.

Gabriel groaned and ran his hands over his face. How far could he fall? How far could he fall before he just… plateaued?

He was scared the answer was going to be ‘not much farther.’

He jumped when he got a text.

**_[Wassie] 2:18pm_ ** _everything okay over there?_

**_[Gabriel] 2:18pm_ ** _yeah I’m good. Just thinking_

**_[Wassie] 2:18pm_ ** _horrific, don’t hurt yourself_

Gabriel rolled his eyes and sat his phone back down, going back to spiraling.

What would he do? If he did… stop falling? If he reached his destination? Would Dean reach it too? Did Dean get the parachute that Gabriel had wanted? Was Dean even thinking about him, or was it just sexy wrestling that cleared his heart up?

Oh god, what if Dean was done with him?

Gabriel jumped as his phone rang and he groaned, answering it. “Dammit Cassie, I told you I’m fine.”

“Oh man, should I call back later?”

Gabe blinked in surprise. “Byron.”

“Hey, Rosie. Told you I’d call.”

“You did no such thing.”

Dean chuckled. “Did you really think I wouldn’t call you?”

“Well.”

“I like the way your voice sounds. It’s just so… easy to make fun of.”

“You wish.”

“I don’t have to wish. I find you appealing in that you are easy for me to joke with.”

Gabe felt a bit of his panic settle. “Yeah? I’m growing quite fond of you myself, Byron.”

“Disgusting. What are you doing?”

“Um,” Gabriel looked around his room. “I’m just sitting here.”

“Wow, that sounds fun. I can’t believe you’re having so much fun without me.”

“What are _you_ doing?”

“I’m driving. Talking to some dork.”

“Can’t believe you’re having so much fun without me,” Gabriel parroted.

“Yeah well, desperate times and all.”

Gabe smiled to himself, letting the tension ease out of his shoulders. “Have you been thinking about me the whole drive?”

“What a terrible question to ask that I refuse to answer.”

He laughed, leaning back against his bed. “Eyes on the interstate, Winchester.”

“I’ll have you know I’m on a _highway,_ not an interstate.”

“You’re taking backroads?”

Dean sighed. “I mean, yeah. Interstates always make me a bit anxious. No respect for Baby on the big roads.”

“But the highways. They caress her wheels?”

“With loving fingers.”

“So you drive on the highways to give your car one long sexual experience.”

“Uh, have you _seen_ her? _Every_ experience in her is a sexual experience.”

“I’m gonna need you to promise me you’ll prove that to me, because I don’t believe you.”

“Rosie, I promise I will show you just how sexy Baby can be.”

Gabriel grinned. “Now, that’s what I like to hear. How far are you from Cali now?”

“Still a good ways. It’s gonna take me a couple days to get there so.”

“…You’re joking.”

“Route 50 takes about four days to get to California. Interstate would’ve cut down some of my time but… it still would’ve been a multi-day trip, and this is a more enjoyable drive.” Dean looked out across the horizon. “But I don’t really stop to rest much, and cops on these backroads are pretty rare. I might make it by tomorrow morning if I’m lucky.”

“That sounds like a lot of speeding. I like your style.”

“The law bends to me.” As if on cue, flashing blue lights lit up Baby’s cabin and Dean groaned. “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“…Do I hear sirens?”

Dean pulled over and put his car in park, thumping his head back against the headrest. “Yes. I should probably hang up.”

“Oh, don’t you dare. I’ll be quiet. Promise.”

“I highly doubt that.” Dean kept his hands on the wheel as a police officer approached his window.

“Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?” the cop said, frowning.

Gabriel muted himself so he could laugh.

“I was… speeding.”

“You were going—“ The cop’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh my god. You’re Dean Winchester.”

Dean mentally cursed. “Um. Yes.”

“From E = MC Queered!”

He blinked in surprise. “Oh. Yeah, that’s me. You… a fan?”

“My girlfriend and I have seen every episode!” She grinned wide. “She’s a chemist, too. There are some jokes you say that she laughs at and I don’t get, but it’s so cute to see. You and your husband have a wonderful dynamic.”

“Yes. My… husband. He’s uh, actually on the phone with me right now.”

Gabriel unmuted himself. “Hi! You pulled over my husband, which I think is hilarious.”

She smiled wide. “Hello, Mr. Gabriel!”

“Hiya. Do me a favor and rough him up a bit for me.”

Dean scowled. “You can mute yourself again.”

“Not a chance. Give him a ticket. He’s a rebel-rouser.”

The cop laughed. “I wasn’t gonna give him a ticket regardless of who he was. Speeding isn’t always driving recklessly. I was just gonna give him a warning.” She shook her head. “Besides. My girlfriend would kill me.”

Dean side-eyed her. “You’re… awfully nice for a cop.”

She frowned. “I… do my best. I think there’s too much shit going down in the police force. I’m actually looking for a new job. Things are… bad.”

Dean nodded in agreement. “It’s nice to hear someone on the inside say that. I hope you do find a new job soon.”

“Thanks. There are some firefighter positions I’m looking at. I don’t _want_ to work a desk job but… if I have to then I have to.”

“Hey,” Gabriel piped up. “Do you do anything music?”

“I can play guitar. My girl can sing. Why?”

“We need a theme song. I’m sure we could work out some like, percentage of ad revenue for you if you guys made us one.”

Her eyes widened and she looked at Dean. “Really? That would be amazing.”

Dean looked just as surprised as she did. “Uh yeah, sure. You have a number so I can get in touch with you later?”

“Absolutely!” She took out a pen and some paper. “Call me anytime. And drive _safe.”_

Dean watched her drive away a bit later and started Baby back up. “A theme song?” he questioned.

“Sure. Why not?”

“Gabriel, we both know you are _perfectly_ capable of doing that yourself.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried. Just trying to figure you out.”

Gabe sighed. “Look, I just… know how hard it is to get out of a bad situation. Thought she could use some light at the end of the tunnel.”

Dean got back up to speed, keeping a closer lookout. “Yeah, okay.” He cleared his throat. “That was awfully nice of you.”

“I can be nice.”

“Can you be nice to _me?”_

“Absolutely not.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been joking about time not existing but someone called work to ask if we carried floppy discs this week so i officially don't know what year it is

Castiel held the water hose while Charlie inflated the edge of the pool.

“This is gonna be awesome,” Charlie said, grinning. “I’ve never had a pool before!”

“Come to think of it, neither have I,” Cas mused. “But I have swam in a great many lakes, so I figure it’s about the same.”

“Less snakes, hopefully.”

“Less snakes,” Cas confirmed. He squinted at the sun. “The days really are getting hotter.”

“Almost like it’s summer or something.”

Castiel snorted, looking off to the side. “Ah, here comes Gabriel.”

“Tell him he can’t steal our pool.”

“Gabriel!” Cas yelled out. “No stealing the pool!”

Gabe rolled his eyes and took off his pants, plopping down inside the half-inflated, quarter-full pool. “I won’t steal it.” He tossed his phone on the grass a ways away. “And Dean says hi.”

“I can say hi myself, you ass,” Dean’s voice came from the speaker.

“Hello, Dean!” Cas and Charlie said in tandem.

“Hey guys. What’s this I hear about a pool?”

Charlie grinned wide, even though Dean couldn’t see her. “We bought a pool!”

“Like a big one?”

“Yes! We’re gonna be able to swim in it and hang out and stuff!”

“Rockin’. Can’t wait to get back and see it.”

Gabriel closed his eyes and rested his head against the half-inflated ring. “Seven more days.”

Castiel sprayed Gabriel with the hose, hiding a grin. “Are you counting down the days already? How romantic.”

Gabriel basked in the water and held up a middle finger as Dean chuckled on the line.

“He’s gone on me, Cas. What can he even say?” Dean teased.

“I can say those are bourgeoisie lies.” Gabriel opened one eye. “And you’re one to talk, Winchester.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

Charlie and Cas exchanged a look. “Uh,” Charlie began, “what happened to our favorite enemies?”

“We’re still enemies,” Dean confirmed. “Right, Shurley?”

“Worst enemies. Arch nemeses, actually.”

Charlie finished inflating the ring and hopped in the pool beside Gabe, fully clothed. “And that has nothing to do with you leaving Gabe’s house this morning, right?” she asked Dean.

“… I’m not commenting on that.”

“I have a few adorable photos that say you’re no longer enemies.”

Gabriel made a hurt sound. “Charles! Whatever happened to confidentiality between friends?!”

“Oh god,” Dean groaned. “What photos did you send her?”

“It was just you asleep on me.”

“Oh thank god.”

Castiel laid the hose in the pool and sat down beside them. “I do not like the implications that there were other photos that could’ve been sent.”

“…Again, no comment.”

Charlie slung an arm around Gabe, grinning. “You know, Shurley, I’m getting a pretty clear picture of what went down last night.”

He shrugged. “Yeah well, I’ve got clearer ones, so.”

Dean choked as Charlie laughed. “Glad to see the two of you finally getting your heads out of your asses.”

Gabriel smirked. “I’m offended that you think we could _ever_ get our heads out of our asses.”

Castiel nudged Charlie. “You mistake them spending the night together for them actually talking about their feelings.” He raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. “Am I wrong?”

Gabe snapped and pointed at him. “You are correct.”

Dean laughed softly over the phone. “Don’t tell me you’re getting all mushy on me, Rosie.”

“I would never.” He shrugged. “But I might _absolutely_ getting all hard on you, Byron.”

Charlie shoved Gabe playfully as Dean laughed loudly on the line. “Gross,” Charlie informed them. “I’m going to need you two to get your own room, preferably far away from me.”

“I’m stopping at a gas station. Does that count as a room?”

Charlie said, “No,” at the same time that Gabe said, “Yes.”

Gabe pulled his soaked shirt off and flung it in the yard somewhere. “That’s gas station number two. You need a car with better fuel economy.”

“You love this car.”

“I do. My point still stands.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow at Gabe. “You’ve been on the phone with him for two gas stations? Either the Impala gets absolutely atrocious gas mileage, or you two have been talking for a very long time.”

“Um,” Gabe said, leaning back to tap his phone screen, “six hours or so? To be fair, he’s going like a hundred miles an hour.”

“You. Have been on the phone with Dean. For six hours.”

“Yes?”

Castiel sighed and shook his head. “Dean, if you do not marry Gabriel soon I’m afraid I will have to arrange a marriage.”

Dean snorted. “Remember you said that. I’ll be back in a sec.”

They listened as Dean shut the car door, presumably to fill up Baby.

Charlie immediately turned to Gabriel. “Did you tell him you love him?”

Gabe winced. “No, ew, get off me.” He pushed her away with his feet.

“C’mon. You gotta tell him sometime.”

“Not in love with him. Not gonna say anything.”

“You said yourself you were falling for him!”

“Different. That is _different._ And I mean… he knows that. So. End of discussion.”

Charlie leveled a Look at him. “You know if you say it during sex, it doesn’t count.”

Gabe looked offended. “Of course it does!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“It counts! Shut your face!” He adjusted how he was sitting in the pool, trying to stay above the rising water. “Damn you. I have to tell him again, don’t I.”

“Yes,” Charlie and Cas said simultaneously.

Gabe groaned and briefly considered just drowning himself to escape them. “Dammit.”

“C’mon, Gabe. It’s not that hard.” Charlie rolled out of the pool. “Practice while I go put on an actual swimsuit.” She ran inside, leaving just Cas and Gabe outside.

Castiel propped his chin on his hand, looking directly at Gabe. “When are you going to tell him?”

“Maybe I’ll just text him.”

“No you won’t.”

Gabe sighed. “No, I won’t,” he agreed. “What am I supposed to do here, Cassie?”

“Tell him. I believe we’ve already been over this.”

“I mean. Here. This whole thing. What am I supposed to do?”

Cas shrugged. “Years of glimpsing romance movies leads me to believe you are meant to sweep him off his feet, so to speak. Or I could go ahead and arrange that marriage. Dealer’s pick.”

Gabe half-laughed. “I think maybe I’m just thinking too hard.”

“A distinct possibility.” Cas kicked at Gabriel’s leg. “Is he not your best friend? After me, of course.”

“Of course. I… yeah. He is.”

“So, if _you_ love him—“

“I don’t—“

“Shut up. If _you_ love him, and _he_ loves you, and you’re both best friends… From what I understand, that’s all there is to it. That is the full equation. Love and friendship.”

“Thanks, Twilight Sparkle.”

“I’m just saying. You have all the ingredients there. You just have to put them together, instead of trying to separate them out.”

Gabe picked at the plastic on the pool. “Easier said than done.”

“Don’t mess with that. And I know. But you asked me, and so I’m telling you. Go for it.”

Gabe rolled his eyes fondly. “Why do you put up with me?”

“Pure entertainment.”

—

Dean put the pump back in the slot, pulling off the glove he had put on expressly for that purpose.

He sighed and leaned against Baby, listening through the open window to the phone still inside. He definitely wasn’t supposed to be hearing this, but he… didn’t mind. He waited until there was a natural lull in the conversation before opening his door again, making sure to close it loud enough to alert them. “I’m back,” he said, as if he had ever left.

“Boooo,” Gabe called out, earning a laugh from what sounded like Charlie.

Dean toyed with his phone a moment, typing out a text and not sending it, instead putting Baby in drive. He would send it when he had time to think it all over.

—

It was three in the morning when Gabriel finally hung up, after much insistence from Dean that he would be _fine_ driving the last hour on his own (and, besides, he still needed to call Sam with his ETA).

Gabe laid back against his bed, looking at the ceiling and trying to figure out where the whole day had gone. Well, to Dean. It had gone to Dean.

His eyelids were heavy and his brain was exhausted. His heart was trying to get in on the action, too, but he shut it up pretty fast. It was three in the morning, which was way too late for butterflies to be out.

He fell asleep in one of Dean’s shirts, hugging the pillow that still sorta almost smelled like him.

—

Dean sat in the parking lot of Sam and Jessica’s apartment building. They were still at the hospital, and there was no actual sense in Dean showing up there.

From what he understood, things were fine. It was just that the baby was taking her sweet time with the exit.

He stared at his phone, with the draft still typed in his conversation with Gabriel.

That had definitely caught him off-guard, yesterday. The “I’m falling in love with you, too.” He… hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t so much as dared hope for anything other than reluctant acceptance. Definitely hadn’t hoped his feelings would be _reciprocated._ Gabriel was falling for him. _Him._ The man who trapped him in his own house for a few days. The man who played music purposefully to spite him. The man who woke him up at ungodly hours to do dumb shit. Him. Gabriel was falling in love with _him._

He stared at the text draft again, before cursing himself and hitting the call button instead.

After a few rings, a groggy voice answered, “Byron. Baby. Stop calling me at four in the morning.”

“It counts.”

“… I’m lost.”

“During sex. It counts. I didn’t say anything but I could totally hear your conversation with Cas and Charlie and I just wanted you to know it counts. You don’t have to say it again. I know.”

“Eavesdropping is frowned upon, Byron,” Gabriel said, yawning.

“I just know how hard it can be to admit feelings and whatever so yeah. Just. I know.”

Gabriel was quiet, and Dean thought maybe he had gone back to sleep, before he heard, softly, “I’m falling in love with you, Dean.”

Dean closed his eyes, leaning his head back. “I’m falling in love with you, too, Gabriel.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna go back to sleep now. I guess you made it okay?”

“I did. I’m in the parking lot right now, about to go up to the apartment. Sam and Jess won’t be back for a while.”

“Mmm. Think of me in the tub.”

“Do you mean the bathtub selfie you sent, or are you wanting me to get in the tub and think of you?”

“Both at once.” Gabe chuckled, rough and sleepy. “I can’t stop thinking about you. When you get back I’m gonna have to charge you rent for how much noggin space you take up.”

Dean smiled softly, opening his eyes to the stars. “I’ll pay it in a kiss.”

“That was horrifically lame. I accept. Now let me sleep, you sleep deprivation hallucination.”

“Goodnight, Rosie.”

“Goodnight, Byron.”

Dean hung up and sighed a moment before grabbing his bags and heading up the stairs.

And if he was secretly glad Sam and Jess weren’t around to tease him about the hiccups, that was his own business.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a joke about time this time (haha) but my husband and I are gonna tie-dye some curtains soon which is exciting in its own right and I feel the need to share that fact

Dean whisked the pancake batter lightly with one hand, sipping his coffee with the other. The soft breeze from the open window carried away the smell of the bacon sizzling on the stovetop.

It was a nice morning.

Someone grumbled behind him, and then there were arms around his waist and a messy head on his shoulder.

“Good morning, Rosie,” Dean chuckled softly, settling into the warmth.

Gabe opened his mouth wide, like a baby bird begging for bacon. Dean sat his coffee down and grabbed a cooked piece, feeding him.

Gabe made a pleased noise before planting a kiss on Dean’s cheek. “Good morning, sweetcheeks.”

“What? I only get a good morning if you get bacon?”

“Yep!” Gabriel nuzzled his cold nose into Dean’s neck. “Bed’s cold without you.”

“Can’t imagine. You’re a goddamned heater.”

“I’m made for comfort, babes.” He paused. “Among other things.”

“Things like kissing?” Dean asked, smirking mischievously.

“Among other things,” Gabe repeated, grinning against Dean’s jaw before pulling him in for a kiss.

It wasn’t a linger-on-his-lips sort of kiss. It was a spread-into-every-crevice sort of kiss. A change-him-as-a-person sort of kiss. A save-his-soul sort of kiss. Dean felt it tingle across his entire body, deep down into his heart. He felt seen. He felt _known._

“I love you, Winchester,” Gabe whispered against his lips, and Dean was immediately sitting up, breathing hard.

He ran a hand over his face and looked out across the dark apartment, where he had fallen asleep on the couch. Alone.

“It was a dream,” he mumbled to himself, as if to confirm his own suspicions. He grabbed his phone and checked his missed messages.

One from Gabriel, about thirty minutes ago.

**_[Gabrosie] 6:04am_ ** _so do dr. sexy and james ever fuck or_

Dean snorted and laid back down, quickly typing out a response.

**_[Byron] 6:28am_ ** _thought it wasn’t your kind of show?_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:29am_ ** _you sir are absolutely supposed to be asleep right now_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:29am_ ** _there was nothing else to do_

**_[Byron] 6:30am_ ** _aww, you miss me ;*_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:30am_ ** _was that just a emoticon? In MY good christian server?!_

**_[Byron] 6:30am_ ** _eh. I just had a weird dream, hence the awake-ness_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:31am_ ** _wanna talk about it?_

**_[Byron] 6:31am_ ** _not really_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:31am_ ** _cool cool cool_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:32am_ ** _do you like apple pie?_

**_[Byron] 6:32am_ ** _what kind of goddamn question is that. duh. DUH._

**_[Gabrosie] 6:32am_ ** _cool bc I just made one and I can leave you some_

**_[Byron] 6:33am_ ** _you’re an angel_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:33am_ ** _ew, don’t insult me_

**_[Byron] 6:33am_ ** _you’re a succubus_

**_[Byron] 6:33am_ ** _incubus?_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:34am_ ** _either. both. neither._

**_[Byron] 6:34am_ ** _incusuccubus._

**_[Byron] 6:34am_ ** _succubincubus_

**_[Byron] 6:34am_ ** _-cubus_

**_[Byron] 6:34am_ ** _Rosincubus?_

**_[Byron] 6:34am_ ** _Gabriccubus._

**_[Gabrosie] 6:35am_ ** _all of the above_

**_[Byron] 6:35am_ ** _well, my incusuccubus succubincubus -cubus rosincubus gabriccubus, I’m absolutely going to make you bacon in repayment for the apple pie_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:36am_ ** _Winchester I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about you. Marry me. Have my babies._

**_[Byron] 6:36am_ ** _load me up_

**_[Byron] 6:36am_ ** _wait fuck_

**_[Byron] 6:36am_ ** _please forget I said that_

**_[Gabrosie] 6:37am_ ** _no._

Dean jumped when he heard the door unlock, immediately getting to his feet.

Sam’s face came into view first, then Jessica’s. Sam grinned wide at Dean and held one finger to his lips as he quickly walked into a hug.

“It’s so good to see you,” Sam whispered, lifting Dean off the ground a bit.

“Right back atcha,” Dean whispered back. “Where is…?”

Sam put him down and motioned to Jessica, who had a very small bundle in her arms. Her smile was bright and shining. “Hey, Dean.”

“Hey, Jess,” he breathed, eyes trained on the blanket. “Is that…?”

“It is.” She walked over to him slowly, pulling back the cover just a bit, just enough that Dean could see a tiny, asleep face.

He looked at the little creature, eyes shining. “She’s beautiful…” He smiled wide at her. “What are we gonna call her?”

Jess rocked the baby in her arms. “Well, we went with… Rosie.”

Dean couldn’t help his groan, and Sam raised an eyebrow at him. “Is there a problem?” Sam asked.

“No, it’s just— that’s what I call Gabriel. I guess I gotta stop now.”

“Your pet name for Gabe is Rosie?”

Dean’s ears were red. “It’s not a pet name,” he grumbled. “It’s just—“ He saw their faces. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you.”

Jess crinkled her nose, grinning. “Maybe just a little.” She carefully deposited the little girl in his arms. “This is Posie. With a P, as in pneumonia.”

Dean held her, entirely forgetting everything else in the world. “Posie,” he repeated, looking at chubby cheeks and button nose and nonexistent eyebrows. “Little Posie.”

Jess sat on the couch gingerly, leaning back. “I’m going to pass out now, I think.”

Sam jumped to attention. “Would you prefer the bed? I’ll carry you.”

Jess looked at Posie, then at Dean. “You’ve got her, right? You raised Sam, so you’ve got Posie while I take a quick nap.”

Dean nodded decisively. “I’ve got her. I swear.”

She held out an arm to Sam. “Yes. Bed. Please.”

Sam gently picked her up and carried her out of the living room as Dean softly bounced Posie. “I’ve got you,” he told her quietly. “I love you. I love you. You’re so beautiful. I love you.”

By the time Sam got back into the room, Dean had all but pledged his life to protecting the small child in his arms.

Sam watched the two of them, smiling softly. “I’m a father,” Sam told him.

Dean gave him an understanding look. “You’ll be a wonderful one.”

“I hope so.” Sam ran a hand over his face, stifling a yawn. “It’s been a long night.”

“Why don’t you take a nap too? I’ll make breakfast.” He held up Posie, who was still sleeping. “She can help,” he joked.

Sam looked between the two of them before sighing. “Just a short nap. There’s a padded baby pen in the closet you can lay her in. Make sure to—“

“Lay her on her stomach. Yeah, I know.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Relax. This ain’t my first rodeo.”

Sam nodded and laid down heavily on the couch. “Wake me up when food is ready.”

“I’m gonna let you sleep as long as you’ll let yourself.”

“Dean.”

“Sam. Get some rest. We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll be right here. If something happens.”

“Nothing will happen, but okay. Sleep.”

—

Dean flipped the pancakes, idly avoiding thinking about his dream as Posie slept soundly in the pen.

Or at least, she was, until Dean heard the sounds of fussing.

He sat down his spatula and walked over to the pen, leaning against the side. “What’s got your knickers in a twist, huh, Posie?”

She opened big brown eyes to him, and Dean was gone.

“Oh, you sweet thing, come here,” he whispered, picking her up and leaning her against his chest. “No crying, okay? We can’t wake your parents up. They need their sleep.”

She made a discontented sound, and Dean swayed softly. “I don’t speak baby,” he informed her. “What do you want? A song?”

She fidgeted against his chest, and he smiled. “Yeah, okay. I know a good one.”

—

Sam woke up, not because of any sound, but because the smell of breakfast was making him salivate. He blinked blearily and looked into the kitchen, where Dean was—

Dean was singing, and Posie was asleep on his chest.

_“A sense of wonder_

_At a face of thunder_

_That passes me by the by._

_A smile of sunlight_

_Kid, you just might_

_Be my Everything Sky.”_

Sam listened for a while before taking out his phone and recording a little.

**_[Sam Winchester sent a video.]_ **

**_Sam 7:32am_ ** _for the record, I can’t remember the last time I heard him sing_

**_Gabriel 7:35am_ ** _I thought he sang all the time?_

**_Sam 7:35am_ ** _if you hear him sing all the time, I don’t know what to tell you_

**_Gabriel 7:35am_ ** _that’s my song. Well, I wrote it for Cassie, but still_

**_Sam 7:36am_ ** _you’re good for him, Gabe. Please stay with him. At least consider it._

**_Gabriel 7:36am_ ** _I’m not going anywhere. Promise._

**_Sam 7:36am_ ** _good. sorry. Might be a little emotional right now_

**_Gabriel 7:36am_ ** _understandable. Congrats, by the way._

**_Sam 7:37am_ ** _thanks!_

**_Gabriel 7:37am_ ** _if you ever have any questions, need any help, etc etc, I’m always here to ask_

**_Sam 7:37am_ ** _ah, you a super nanny?_

**_Gabriel 7:37am_ ** _something like that_

**_Sam 7:38am_ ** _don’t tell me YOU raised your kid brother too?_

**_Gabriel 7:38am_ ** _alas, I am known_

**_Sam 7:38am_ ** _jfc you two are perfect_

**_Sam 7:38am_ ** _also I liked the song_

**_Sam 7:38am_ ** _send me your album_

**_Gabriel 7:39am_ ** _AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA_

**_Gabriel 7:39am_ ** _no._

—

Gabriel watched the video over again, Dean singing his song quietly, voice a bit rough, swaying so the kid would stay asleep.

Dammit, he forgot to ask for a name.

Dean was… he didn’t know. There wasn’t a word. It was a feeling like walking into his own kitchen, years from now, to see someone he loved just… being cute. Being so entirely _them_ it took his breath away.

The video started over, and Gabe made a decision, pausing it and going to rummage through his closet. It was in here somewhere, he _knew_ it was—

Aha!

Gabriel pulled out an old, beat-up guitar.

There wasn’t a word for the emotion. Okay.

Gabriel had a few that might work instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No the song "Everything Sky" does not actually exist but I won't have good internet for like another week so if I get bored enough it might start existing :p


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe not being in the same location for a while will help them replenish their brain cell supply (lmao as if)  
> (also just fyi there is _no_ supernatural in this AU so the jokes are exactly that -- jokes)

Gabriel’s phone buzzed again, and he dove into the couch to grab it, effectively smushing Charlie.

“Jesus, Gabe,” she grumbled, trying unsuccessfully to push him off. “How many pics is Dean _sending_ you?”

Gabe held up the newest one, which was a selfie of Dean laying on the couch, Posie contentedly napping on his chest. “A lot more, I hope. Look how cute!”

“Which one?”

“Both, obviously.” Gabe saved the photo.

**_[Gabrosie] 2:18pm_ ** _lol what a dork_

Charlie shoved him off onto the floor. “We should do another game night. We technically have two teams of three.”

Gabe relaxed onto the floor. “Hmm, the Shurleys versus the Winchesters? Seems a bit unfair for them but sure.”

“Oh, and I suppose I’m a Shurley, then?”

“Course you are.” Gabe stuck his tongue out at her. “I mean, you’ve been living here a while and you’ve got the general spirit.”

She snorted. “And what’s the spirit of a Shurley?”

“Sassy.”

Castiel leaned his head in from the kitchen. “He’s right, you know.”

Gabriel pointed at him. “Of course I’m right.”

**_[Gabrosie] 2:21pm_ ** _how about a game night? Shurleys vs Losechesters_

**_[Byron] 2:22pm_ ** _not tonight, but sometime this week, absolutely_

**_[Byron] 2:22pm_ ** _also: get fucked_

**_[Gabrosie] 2:22pm_ ** _not tonight, but sometime next week, absolutely_

**_[Byron] 2:22pm_ ** _;)_

Castiel smirked. “Should I even ask what you’re smiling at, Gabrosie?”

“Naked women.” He left out an _oof_ as Charlie rolled off the couch onto him and snatched his phone. “Hey!”

She huffed and threw his phone back at him. “Liar.”

“Charles if you were going to take my phone to look at porn, we might have more in common than I originally thought.”

“Girls, man.”

“Girls,” Gabe agreed.

“Wanna see the cutest girls on TikTok?”

He side-eyed her, which was difficult, what with her currently squishing him and all. “Yes.”

—

“There’s no way that works.”

“It works! If you’re already flexible, anyway.”

Gabe watched the video again, eyebrows furrowed. “Look there’s just no way it’s that easy to do the splits.”

“Only one way to find out.” Charlie tossed the phone to Castiel. “Cas! Let’s make a tiktok!”

“On Gabriel’s account?” Cas pulled it up. “How do you already have so many followers. You haven’t posted a single video.”

Gabe stood up, pulling Charlie up with him. “It’s really flattering how you all keep conveniently forgetting that I am moderately famous.”

“But you’re uninteresting,” Cas deadpanned, hiding a smirk.

“As are you, mi amor,” Gabe snarked back, grinning. “Are you gonna be in the video with us?”

“Hmm, do I want to be seen when two people fail at doing the splits? No, I think I’m good.”

Gabe and Charlie pushed the coffee table out of the way, clearing floor space. “Bold of you to assume we’re going to fail.”

—

Jessica was holding Posie, leaned back against Sam on the couch. Dean was reclining in the chair.

“You guys _sure_ you don’t want me to vacuum while the kid is up? Or dust? Or—“

“Dean,” Jess interrupted him, rolling her eyes. “You’re not our maid.”

“I’m just saying. It’s gonna get hard to keep cleaning when you _also_ have Posie around now.”

“It is appreciated, but we’ll be fine.”

Sam raised his eyebrows at his phone. “Oh shit. Gabriel posted his first tiktok.”

Dean smirked. “He must be bored without me.”

Sam cast his screen to the TV. “Him and Charlie.”

The video started with Gabe, arms crossed, as Charlie demonstrated a stretch. “Okay so, you gotta do this first,” she said.

He rolled his eyes and kneeled beside her, stretching. “Okay.”

“Now this one…”

“Definitely the hardest stretch I’ve ever done,” Gabe said sarcastically.

“Shush. And this one…”

He copied her, eyebrow raised.

“And then you repeat them all on the other side.”

He sighed dramatically but did as he was instructed.

“And now you just… go down.” Charlie slid slowly into a split, eyes wide. “Dude. _Dude.”_

“No, nuh-uh, there is no way,” Gabe responded, shocked. He followed her lead and froze when he felt his crotch touch ground. “I’m. I’m doing the splits. What the fuck. Whaaaaat the fuck.”

They were both quiet for a minute, then Charlie let out a victory screech, which Gabe quickly took up.

“Oh my _god!!! Gabe!!!”_ Charlie yelled, shaking him by his shoulders.

He laughed and did the same. _“This_ is what the internet is for!” He turned to the camera, eyes sparkling. “Dean, look!!!” He turned back to Charlie. “He is going to _love_ this!”

She crinkled up her nose and laughed, shoving him away. “GROSS.”

The video ended, and Sam hid his smirk poorly, turning to a red-faced Dean. “So. Your boyfriend is cute.”

Dean sunk further into the seat. “Uh. Yeah. He is.”

**_[Byron] 5:18pm_ ** _you asshole_

**_[Gabrosie] 5:19pm_ ** _YOUR asshole <3_

—

Posie slept soundly in her crib in a way that might be called angelic if Dean believed in angels, Jess asleep not too far from her.

In the living room, Sam held up the remote and waved it around. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Depends on the movie,” Dean responded, plopping beside Sam on the couch. “Y’all have popcorn?”

“What kind of sick household doesn’t have popcorn.”

“I dunno, man. You’re the guy that likes early morning runs.” Dean shuddered.

“I’m offended,” Sam informed him, going to make popcorn. “Want to go running with me in the morning?”

“That sounds atrocious. Yes.”

Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Yes? Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

“I’m obviously a shapeshifter,” Dean deadpanned, causing Sam to snort.

“Oh yeah? Then where is your giant pile of discarded flesh?”

“I buried it in the yard that has no holes and no piles of dirt and flawless grass. C’mon, son, even a child could figure that one out,” Dean responded, imitating their father.

“Ah, of course. I forgot that security cameras don’t exist and neighbors never look out their windows and would have definitely seen you were you to dig a hole in a communal yard.”

“Rookie mistake.” Dean shrugged sarcastically. “Guess you gotta get kicked out now.”

Sam pulled the popcorn out of the microwave. “Good thing we both know how to forage for wild food.”

“Yeah, like popcorn. Gimme.”

Sam sat down beside Dean, throwing his legs across Dean’s lap. “Classic or new movie?”

“I’m feeling a classic.”

“So like, the Star Wars prequels?”

“I said a _classic_ not an affront upon man.”

Sam put on Star Trek instead and they both settled in.

“Hey,” Sam said quietly, halfway through the movie.

“Hmm?”

“For the record. I really like him.”

“Spock? Of course you would, you nerd.”

“Marry that boy. I mean it.”

“I’d rather marry Kirk but alright.”

Sam snorted. “If you married Kirk, Spock would kill your ass.”

“Okay but imagine the like, two hours or so of married life. Might be worth it.”

Sam grabbed some more popcorn. “Look, you marry Kirk and I’ll marry Spock.”

“You can marry Spock but I’m still gonna shake his hand at the wedding.”

He threw the popcorn at Dean, laughing. “You’d make a spectacle!”

“I’d be shot on sight, and I would be proud of myself anyway.”

“Family reunions would be _so_ awkward.”

“That is a risk I’m willing to take.”

—

Long after Sam went to bed, Dean couldn’t sleep.

He exited the apartment quietly and climbed onto the roof of his car, staring out at the stars and dialing a number.

“Hello, Winchester,” Gabriel’s voice came across the line. “Did you miss me already?”

Dean smiled softly at the voice. “Absolutely not.”

“Mm, good. I don’t miss you, either. How’s the baby?”

“She’s fantastic. She mostly just sleeps, but she’s… she’s so wonderful. I can’t even explain it.”

“You don’t have to. I get it.”

“When this is all over, or maybe before, I dunno, you and I will have to road trip out here so you can meet her.”

“Depends. Can we stop by really dumb roadside attractions on the way?”

“It’ll take longer to get here that way.”

“Oh, you in a hurry? You tryna not be stuck in a car with me for days on end? Thought you liked me, Winchester.”

“Hey, Gabe?” Dean asked quietly.

“Yeah?”

“…You’re a really cool guy.”

Gabe smiled and rolled his eyes. “Right back atcha.”

“Like I know we fuck around a lot but you should probably know you’re the coolest and funniest person I know. Like, full stop.”

“Why you being so nice all of a sudden? Did you really miss me that much?”

“Nah I’m just… looking out at the stars and feeling the weight of the universe.”

“Poetic. Hold on a second.” Gabe opened his own window and climbed onto his roof, laying back. “Okay. Now we’re both looking at the stars.”

Dean smiled in the night air. “You’re such a sap.”

“What? Stars are cool.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I’ve been working on a pick-up line for you.”

“For me? Like, me specifically?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, go for it.”

“No laughing.”

“I cannot promise that.”

Gabe sighed. “Okay. Alright. Here goes.” He cleared his throat. “Winchester, I am falling so hard for you that I’m experiencing spaceship levels of G-force.” There was no response. “Did that make sense? I did my best.”

“Yeah, yeah it made sense. You’re such a fucking nerd.”

“Actually, I’m _fucking_ a nerd. There’s a difference.”

Dean smiled up at the sky, one arm behind his head. “Rosie, I’m so close to the Earth’s core.”

“Uh, what?”

“That’s as far as you can fall.”

Gabe snorted, cursing himself silently. “Aw, one bad pick-up line and you’re not falling for me anymore? Picky.”

“You can only fall so far before you’re just... finally there.”

“Yeah?” Gabe responded shakily, eyes closed. He took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Meet you there,” he whispered.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we stan two (2) disaster bois

Dean scrolled through his texts with Gabe, smiling to himself. He was actually kind of looking forward to going back and seeing him again. Pulling him in for a kiss. More. It made his heart jump.

He looked at the pictures he had sent, mostly of Sam and Jess and Posie, but a couple selfies.

He furrowed his brow and opened a selfie up. He hadn’t paid much attention when he took them, but now…

“Why the fuck didn’t either of you tell me I had a lipstick stain on my cheek.”

Sam snorted and Jess laughed. “Oh my god,” she said. “We thought you _knew.”_

“Have,” Sam corrected him. “You _have_ a lipstick stain on your cheek.”

“We figured a cute waitress had just gotten a bit excited.”

Dean hit dial, scowl on his face.

“Hey, Deano.”

“Gabriel _fucking_ Shurley! How do I get this damn lipstick off?!”

There was hysterical laughter on the other end of the line as Sam and Jess both looked pleasantly shocked. “Wait, so the lipstick is Gabriel’s?” Sam asked, hiding a smirk. Dean ignored him.

“Did it _seriously_ take you two days to notice?!” Gabriel managed between laughs.

“How. Do I. Get it off.”

“Have you tried black magic?”

“Gabriel.”

“You’re a chemist. Figure it out.”

Dean groaned, rubbing fruitlessly at his cheek. “Why do you enjoy torturing me so much?”

“I’m a cruel and capricious god. Hey, tell Sam and Jess I said hi!”

“I will not.”

“Spoilsport. Tell Posie I said hi.”

He rolled his eyes and looked to the tiny thing. “Posie. Rosie says hi.”

Posie, who did not speak English, gave him a gummy smile.

“Great,” Dean huffed. “She loves you.”

“I _am_ quite lovable. She wouldn’t be the only Winchester that loves me,” Gabe teased.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Not if I hang up first!”

Dean scowled as the line went dead. “Motherfucker,” he mumbled under his breath. When he turned back around, Sam had his eyebrows raised and Jess was smirking. “What.”

Jess shrugged nonchalantly. “If they all still want to do game night, I am suddenly very down for that.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah, so am I. I would love to see these interactions in person.”

“Screw you both.” Dean picked up Posie. “Posie, you’re the only person who hasn’t betrayed me.”

Posie gurgled and spit up on his shirt.

Jess was _dying_ with laughter as Dean looked up at the ceiling blankly. “Okay. Alright, universe. Point received.” He shook his head. “C’mon baby girl, let’s get us cleaned up.”

—

Gabe jumped as a package landed in his lap. “Uh—“

Charlie pointed. “Pretend I snuck around and left that on your porch and you had no idea who it was from.”

Gabe looked at the package, then back at her. “Dean?”

“Obviously.” She plopped down beside him. “He wanted to leave it on your porch as a ‘secret admirer’ but then he had to leave and left it up to me. And I know you’re not dumb enough to not know who the secret admirer was so.”

“Gotcha.” Gabe cleared his throat. “Wowzers, Charlie! Look at this neato package someone left on my doorstep! Whoever could it be from?!”

“Geez, mister! I sure don’t know!”

Gabe opened the plastic envelope, then snorted. “Oh my god.” He pulled out pajama pants with corgis all over them. “What a fucking loser. They’re fantastic.”

Charlie nodded absently. “There’s another thing, but I did go to the liberty of actually hiding that one for you.”

“Where did you hide it?”

“Not telling.”

“C’mon. Tell me.”

“Absolutely not.”

He slipped the pajama pants on over the pajama pants he was currently wearing. “I’ll find it anyway. Thanks for telling me, by the way. I probably would’ve just thrown them out if all it said was ‘secret admirer’.”

“What, why?”

“Because I’m—“ Gabe paused, eyebrows furrowed. “Well, you know.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know?”

“It just… wouldn’t be cool. Y’know. Because me and Dean— I mean, we’re almost— we’re kinda—“ His face turned red. “It just wouldn’t have been cool to keep them if I thought they were from someone else.”

“You’re so adorable, Gabe.”

“Shut up.” He crossed his arms petulantly. “Can you at least tell me if the other thing is hidden in my house or y’all’s?”

“No.”

—

By the time Castiel had the video chat set up, Jess was making Posie wave at the camera and Charlie was cooing over her. “She’s so _tiny!”_

“Not for long,” Jess said, giving Posie a Look. “You stay small, you hear?”

Dean shouldered her. “She doesn’t speak English yet.”

Sam brushed his own nose gently against Posie’s. “Pequeña. _Pequeña.”_

“I don’t think she speaks Spanish either!”

Sam shrugged. “You never know. Maybe she’s one of those babies with a past life.”

Dean put his finger out, her little fist wrapping around it. “Posie, are you the reincarnated soul of Kurt Cobain?”

Gabriel leaned over beside Charlie, handing her a drink. “I feel like I missed a very interesting conversation.”

Dean glanced at him. “We’re trying to figure out if Posie is a reincarnated soul or not.”

“Thanks, that explains everything.” He scooted over to allow Castiel room to sit beside him.

Cas grinned wide at the camera. “Hello, small thing. Have you gotten into any trouble yet?”

Jess kissed her cheek. “Tell him yes. Tell him you’re a mischievous daughter of a bastard.”

She blew a spit bubble.

Cas looked to Sam. “She looks just like you,” he deadpanned.

Sam said, “Hey!” at the same time that Gabriel high-fived Cas.

Dean kicked his feet up into Sam’s lap. “So when are we gonna start this game night?”

Charlie raised her hand. “Objection! They have four players and we only have three!”

Gabe shook his head. “No, no. See, it’s fair, because Posie and Dean put together are almost as smart as a whole person.”

Cas high-fived Gabe as Dean’s jaw dropped. “Oh. _Oh._ You are going _down,_ Shurley!”

“Bring it, Winchester,” Gabe drawled.

“Charles,” Dean began, “hit us with the game.”

Charlie exchanged a look with Cas. “Taboo, but every man for himself.”

Sam looked to Dean. “Um, what’s Taboo?”

Dean shrugged in equal confusion.

Cas passed out drinks. “Taboo is like charades, but you can talk. But you _can’t_ say the obvious words. For example, you couldn’t say ‘pet’ if the word was ‘dog’. We’re running with drinking rules, but we understand your situation, so you must use hot sauce.”

Sam and Jess choked. _“What?!”_

“I didn’t stutter.”

Gabriel’s grin was evil. “Hot sauce it up, babies!”

Charlie raised her glass. “If someone successfully guesses your word, you don’t have to take a drink. If you successfully guess a word, you get to choose someone to drink. And the chat chooses the words.”

Sam pushed Dean’s legs off him and went to get hot sauce as Jess looked at the chat. “What keeps us from seeing the words we’re trying to guess?”

Charlie pointed to the screen. “Okay so, everyone but the person acting it out closes their eyes, so it’s… honor system.”

Dean turned to Posie. “Help me cheat.”

Gabriel pointed. “No. Help _me_ cheat!”

Dean leaned in and stage-whispered to her, “Help _us_ cheat.”

“Oh, are we an us now? Is this an us thing?”

Sam sat down three bottles of hot sauce on the table. “We’re going to regret this. Who’s first?”

Charlie looked at the chat streaming on the side. “Uh, looks like Gabe is first.”

“Can’t imagine why,” Cas said, smirking.

Gabe squished Castiel’s face in his hands and brought him as close as physically possible. “I. Am. Moderately-Known.”

Cas shrugged. “I’ve never heard of you.”

“Neither have I,” Dean agreed.

Gabe turned to look at Dean, unamused. “Winchester you want my name for your own.”

Dean looked back, equally unamused. “Gabriel Winchester just doesn’t have a good ring to it.”

“I meant Dean Shurley but alright, we can play it that way.”

Dean leered at him. “If I win, we’ll do Winchester. If _you_ win, we’ll do Winchester.”

“Deal.”

Sam and Jess grinned at each other.

“Everyone close their eyes so I can get my damn word,” Gabe said, throwing his arms out.

They all did as commanded, and Gabriel let out a bark of laughter.

“Okay, you can look now.” He turned to Charlie. “How long do I have to prepare my charade word thing?”

She snorted. “You need to _prepare?”_

“Give me like… _two_ minutes!” Gabriel ran off at full speed, and they all watched him go.

There was quiet a moment, then Sam turned to Dean, chin propped on his hand. “So do we need to teach her to say _Uncle_ Gabe or…?”

“Hey, your face? Shut it.”

“I’m just saying. If we start now, we won’t have to teach it later.” He took Posie from Jess and held her close. “You hear that, sweetheart? Uncle Dean and Uncle Gabe are gonna get married and live happily ever after.”

“I ain’t about all that happily ever after bullshit,” Dean argued. “Don’t listen to him, Posie.”

“He’s so in love he can’t _stand_ it.”

“Your father is _lying_ to you.”

“Gabe will be your favorite uncle.”

“I _resent_ that!”

“Dean _wuvs_ him.”

Castiel nodded. “That is true. I can attest that Dean does, in fact, wuv Gabriel.”

“Evil. You are all evil and a horrible influence on her.” He glanced in the chat. “The fuck is an ‘uwu’?”

Gabriel ran back on screen, breathing hard. “Okay, okay. I’m ready.”

“Bout damn time,” Dean grumbled.

Gabe winked at him. “Save it, kissy face. Anyway.” He pulled off his shirt and slipped sunglasses on his face, holding up Dean’s boombox. “Get the fuck off my lawn, Shurley,” he imitated. “I’m into _science_ and I swear I’m not cute. Who wants to go on a field trip? I’m scared of deer!”

Dean’s face was red as everyone laughed too hard to make their guess.

Gabe smirked. “Look man, it’s not gay if the lips don’t touch.”

“Hey!” Dean yelled.

“If you like really bad puns and a charming smile, I’m your guy! I like long walks on the beach and blowing shit up.”

“Objection!”

“I’m a fucking _genius_ but don’t like to talk about that, so just be _amazed_ when I astound you with my skills. I run a meth lab. I’m the coolest kid on the block. I hiccup when I get butterflies. I’m not the man of your past dreams, but I’m gonna be the man of your future ones.”

Sam managed out, “Dean!” and Gabe cheered, pulling off the sunglasses.

“Sam got it!” he said, grinning. “I think technically Dean got it, but he never officially guessed so sucks to suck.”

Sam laughed at the look on Dean’s face. “I choose Charlie to take a drink.”

Charlie cheered and took a shot. “Alright bitches! Who’s next?”

Dean held up his hand. “I’m next!”

“Chat says Charlie’s next,” Gabriel said, fake-wincing. “Tough luck, Winchester.”

“Fuck the chat. I need revenge.”

Charlie held out her hand. “Everyone cover your eyes!”

Dean groaned dramatically and looked up at the ceiling as Charlie read her word and giggled.

“Okay. I’m ready.” Everyone looked to see Charlie pointing at herself. “Not me.”

“That’s too broad!” Sam interjected.

“Fuck. Okay um… oh my gosh, boys are so attractive,” she deadpanned, fake-gagging. “I’m totally into men. That’s a thing that I am.”

“Are you Dean again?” Jess asked, causing a few snickers.

Charlie groaned and looked at the timer. “No one on this couch is this!” Gabe and Cas looked at her and then each other.

“Oh!” Cas yelled out. “Straight!”

Charlie pumped her fist in the air in victory as Gabriel broke out in laughter.

Castiel pointed to Jess. “This is nothing personal, Jessica, but take a shot of hot sauce.”

“Cold!” Jess said in shock, grinning as she tilted the bottle back. Her eyes watered and she coughed. “Oh fuck. This is awful.”

“Who’s next?” Cas murmured, leaning in to read the chat.

“I’m next!” Dean insisted.

“Actually, I am,” Cas said in surprise. “They seem intent upon frustrating you.”

“That’s because they’re _my_ fans,” Gabe responded, grinning.

“A whole army of Gabriels? That’s the next Stephen King novel,” Dean snarked back.

“That’s the next porno, babe.”

“What’s it gonna be called? Meaning of Life?”

 _“Like_ we were saying,” Cas interrupted them, “it is _my_ turn. Everyone avert your eyes.”

When everyone looked back, Cas was hiding a smile. “Argh, I be sailin’ the high seas to steal video game ROMs and DVD movies.”

There was a moment, then everyone was laughing at the wildly faux accent.

“Pirate!” Dean yelled out between laughs.

“Aye!”

Dean motioned to Gabe. “You. Asshole. Drink up.”

Gabe pressed his shot glass to his lips and giggled a moment before downing it. “You got it, so is it finally your turn?”

“Yes!”

“Chat says Sam.”

“NO!”

Sam pushed Dean’s face away and leaned in close to the screen as everyone averted their eyes. “Oh, oh that’s so dumb,” Sam said, laughing softly. When everyone looked back he rolled his eyes, cheeks red. “I hate every single one of your fans.” He took a second, then closed his eyes and blew a spit bubble.

“GROSS,” Gabe yelled out, covering his face and laughing. “You’re Posie!”

Sam nodded as he wiped his face off. “I never want to do that again.” He jerked this thumb at Dean. “You. Hot sauce. Go.”

“Goddammit,” Dean grumbled before tipping the glass back against his lips. His eyes almost immediately started watering. “Jesus fuck dude, how many Scovilles is this?”

“Enough,” Sam countered. “Chat says Jess is next.”

They looked away, and when they looked back, she was silently laughing so hard she was crying. “Oh gosh, okay. Of course.” She flipped her hair dramatically and gave the camera puppy-dog eyes. “Can we _please_ go running this morning? I _know_ it’s early, but think about the sunrise! I’m an instigator and I _definitely_ don’t cry every time I watch Terminator!”

“Terminator is horrifying!” Sam countered, then cursed himself. “Aw, dammit.”

Charlie laughed. “I’m gonna go with Sam!”

“You got it!”

Charles elbowed Gabe. “You. Shot.”

Dean threw his hands in the air. _“Finally!_ My turn!”

Cas winced in mock sympathy. “Actually, the chat says Posie is next.”

“She is a _BABY.”_

Gabe grinned. “Chat says so are you.”

“Fuck the chat. I’m next. Posie can’t even read.”

Castiel laughed softly. “I suppose I must concede to that point. Very well. Dean is next.”

He waved his hands in a _shoo_ motion. “Everyone look away.” When everyone looked back, his grin was downright _mischievous._ “Alright. Give me a second to form my game plan.”

Cas raised an eyebrow at Gabe. “Honestly. The two of you.”

Dean snapped his fingers. “Ready.” He posed sassily, chin propped on his hand. “My favorite color is macaroni and sunlight. I’m _way_ into analog photography. I sleep past noon and it’s because I’m always texting people at four in the morning.”

Gabe was holding back his laughter, shoulders shaking, as everyone else exchanged glances.

Dean gave them all an _are you fucking kidding me_ look. “I like bad puns. I’m extremely funny, but what sends me sprawling are dad jokes. I _love_ adventure and getting into people’s heads.”

Gabe had a hand over his mouth as everyone else threw out incorrect guesses.

“Gender does not exist! I support local artists because it’s important to me! I love animals! I have a weird host of knowledge about farming!”

At least three people guessed Cas, and Dean looked at the clock quickly counting down.

“Fuck! Uh,” he looked around for an answer before just throwing a hand out and serenading the screen, _“And when your body’s haaaad, enough of meeee and I’m layin’, flat out on the floor.”_

Gabe snorted and sang with him, _“And when you think I’ve looooved you, all I can, I’m gonna looooove you a little bit more.”_

Dean gestured furiously at Gabriel singing, and Jess sat up in understanding. “Gabriel! It’s Gabriel!”

Dean yelled, “YES!” at the same time the counter hit zero. “Fucking hell, guys!”

Everyone laughed and shook their heads. Except Gabriel, who had his tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “You… knew I would sing along.”

Dean gave him a _duh_ look. “Obviously. I know you, Rosie.”

Gabe inhaled sharply. “Oh. Oh wow that is, that is _panic_ that I’m feeling. Okay. I need to go sit outside.”

“Wait—“

Gabe held up his hands, standing up. “No no no, you guys keep playing the game. I just need to go stare at the grass for a little bit. I’ll be back. Probably.”

“Gabe—“ Dean began.

“No seriously, seriously, I need to go be elsewhere for just a few minutes. I’m fine.” Gabe gave him a not-at-all-reassuring smile and backed out of the shot.

And Dean still had his hand held out to the camera, as if that could do anything to stop him.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look if I can't add that deep-set ocean-vast romance then what is even the goddamn _point?!_

Gabe stared wordlessly across the garden in Castiel’s backyard. There was a bat climbing clumsily on the fence, but the night seemed to be silent.

The back door opened and closed, and Castiel stood beside him.

He sighed. “Cas, I don’t really wanna—“ A phone was shoved in his face and Castiel retreated inside.

“Hey,” came Dean’s voice, softly, and Gabe looked to see the man himself, face worried on the screen, also outside.

Outside, somewhere in California, where the stars were the same and the air was the same and Dean didn’t even try and yet knew something intrinsic about Gabriel.

Gabe looked at the stars, and Dean looked at him.

“You okay?” Dean finally asked.

“Dunno.”

“Wanna… talk about it?” he asked, the words feeling foreign on his tongue.

“Not really.”

Dean nodded to himself and looked up at the stars, too. “I think we need to.”

Gabe sighed, and when he looked back down, his face was a deep sort of agony. “You know me.”

“I… yeah. I know you.”

“Then why are you falling for me?”

Dean looked as if Gabriel had punched him in the face. “What?”

“You know me. You know all the stupid little quirks and the weird things and even _Cas_ didn’t guess it was me. You know me better than _him_ and that… I’m… Just, you can see all this _shit_ and you’re still… I don’t… understand.”

Dean took a deep breath, as if tasting the night air on his tongue. “To be fair, I don’t understand why you’re falling for _me,_ either.”

Gabe laughed wryly. “You’re not quite as fucked up as me.”

“You’re joking, right? You can’t be serious.”

Gabe watched the bat climb lazily along the fence. “They all died.”

“What?”

“All the other members of the cult. They died. It’s not around anymore.” The bat flew away and he sighed. “Cas was… He’s always been… different. I think you know that. Or at least guessed. And while they didn’t like me because I acted out, they didn’t like him because he was…”

“Different?”

“Yeah. Different.” Gabe’s eyes slid to the side. “Not that he was ever diagnosed with… _difference,_ or anything, but… y’know. And not that everyone isn’t different in some way, just that— Anyway. He used to have this uh, hyper-obsession with weather. He could like, look at the sky and tell you what each cloud would bring with scary accuracy.”

“That’s… pretty cool.”

“It is very very cool if you don’t believe in witchcraft.” Gabe ran a hand through his hair. “So uh, Dad died pretty soon after he joined the cult. Don’t know what happened. Always kind of knew inside that they had something to do with it. But… it was just me and Cas. And I came back from— I don’t even know what. Maybe a jam session on a local street corner? I don’t remember anymore. I just… got back and Castiel was freaking out and like, insisting that this giant tornado was headed our way.”

Gabriel stopped talking, and Dean said quietly, “And was it?”

“Of course it was. Cas is a fucking genius. It just—“ He sighed and tapped at his left cheek. “He had a black eye. That he didn’t have that morning. And I just. I don’t know. I snapped, I think. And he asked if we should tell the others, and I said that I would.” Gabe ran a hand over his mouth, like he could hide his words that way. “And I went into the leader’s cabin and smashed his radio.”

“Gabe—“

“And I took Castiel and we ran out into this valley we had found in the woods, and we stayed there. And within like ten minutes there was just… it was hailing harder than I had ever seen it, and the wind was blowing over trees nearby and when it was all over and we got back up, the compound was all… gone. It was gone. Everyone was gone.” He held up a finger. “Correction: Everyone was dead. Because of… Because of me.”

Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “You didn’t—“

“Didn’t what? Didn’t know? I knew. Hell, I hadn’t believed in a god since Mom died and I _prayed_ that the tornado would kill everyone inside. And how could I— how could I fucking even _think_ that? They were horrible people! Yes! I accept that! But no person is wholly good or wholly evil and I just— I _was_ God that day and I just—“ Gabe looked away, visibly shaking. “And you’re over here calling me baby and knowing my favorite color and telling me you’re falling for me and I— I _fucking—“_

“Gabriel.” Dean’s voice was soft but took no questions, and Gabe cast his eyes back to the screen, bloodshot. Dean’s face was filled with… something. Dammit. “I wasn’t sure, you know, if you knew or not, but now I know you don’t. You can’t. You can’t tell me this story and look at me and say you’re more fucked up than I am if you know.”

“I don’t—“

“You’re freaking out because you think we’re on separate playing fields here, right? That I can’t fall for you because I can’t ever understand the twisted fucking shapes your mind takes, because my track record is just a few busted whiskey bottles, right?”

Gabe didn’t respond, and Dean had his answer.

“Let me repay the favor, then. I’ll start with a joke. Stop me if you’ve heard it before. What do you call the sons of a serial killer?” Dean didn’t want to look at the camera. He was terrified of Gabriel’s face. “Accomplices.”

Confusion finally passed over the haze of terror and anxiety on Gabriel’s features. “What?”

“I thought… y’know, at first I thought you were always mean to me because you… knew. That happens a lot. But then you started talking about how you grew up, back in the woods, and I realized that you don’t know, because you were cut off from society when it all happened.” Dean put on as much bravery as he could. “John Winchester was my dad. And I know we already joked about how he would cart me and Sam across the states but we didn’t… didn’t really talk about why. Or what we did.”

“You… said he believed in monsters.”

“…To put it lightly, sure.” Dean looked away, hands shaking. “Dammit. I’m… This is always the scariest part. Telling someone.” He clenched his jaw. “John Winchester was a serial killer. Prolific. Was a big deal when they finally caught him. He was… insane. Believed in monsters, believed one killed my mom, believed he could kill anyone he suspected might be one.”

“…Oh.”

“And when they caught him, there wasn’t enough evidence to convict him, y’know, because he was an expert at disposing of bodies and shit. He always… always seemed to sort of clear up after killing someone, like he realized how bad he had fucked up, like… like he regretted it, but… A-anyway, they didn’t have enough evidence until one of his sons— until I testified against him on the condition that Sam and I walk free.”

“Why wouldn’t you have walked f—“

“Because he made us help.”

Gabriel was silent, lips still parted in an _oh._

“Our Uncle Bobby— he wasn’t _really_ our uncle but he was… he was close— he took us in. Adopted us, pretty much. He didn’t— Dammit, no one else knew until I testified, and I gave names, and I gave locations, and I didn’t look at Dad’s face once because I was… scared. Because people like him get in your head and even if turning against them is the right thing to do, they lead you to believe it’s wrong and you’re left with this fucking _clawing_ sense of guilt at having done the right thing.”

There was a feeling of understanding that permeated straight to Gabriel’s core.

“And this is— this is the part where you cuss me out and tell me to delete your number and leave and never come back. Or at least. That’s how it usually goes.”

Gabriel took out his own phone and hit a few buttons, and Dean’s phone pinged.

He glanced up at the notification and laid back against what Gabe could now see was the top of Baby, eyes closed again, hand shakily over his face.

**_Relationship Update Request: Married to Gabriel Shurley_ **

“Gabe—“

“We’re fake-married. Might as well go all out.” He looked at the black background and wished he was there beside Dean. “And. For the record. People like to say your past doesn’t define you. But people like… people like you and me? We know that’s bullshit. It defines all your nightmares, and the way you trust, and the way you love. So. It’s a pretty shit part of your definition. But you need to know I still love you as a whole word. And… we… we aren’t different. Well, we’re different, but we’ve got the same scars, I think.”

Dean moved his hand, and his eyes reflected the stars. “Yeah. We’ve got the same scars.” He hit accept, and Gabe let himself smile, just a little. “And you… you know, you were just a kid. You’re… hard on yourself. You doubt yourself so… so much. You doubt I could ever love you. I could. It would be… the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I’ve gotta doubt things, Byron. I’ve seen what blind faith can do.” He looked over Dean’s face, to the freckles that could number the stars. “Is that why you’re always so afraid of losing me? Because people just… run away from you?”

“Yeah. You’d be… You’d be the first that stayed.”

“I’m staying. I promise. I’m staying with you. I mean, how often is it that—“ Gabriel’s voice broke, and his eyes felt waterier than he could ever remember them feeling. “How often is it that you find someone who can understand the deep shapes of your own nightmares?”

Dean didn’t seem to be faring much better, and Orion reflected himself in his eyes. “I’m not scared of your nightmares, Rosie,” he whispered. “I’ve had the same ones my entire life.”

“You know me,” Gabriel accused, again, shaking.

“And you know me, too. And maybe that’s not… maybe that’s not a bad thing.”

“Maybe. But it's… it’s terrifying.”

Dean swallowed harshly. “Maybe we could be terrified together.”

“I… think I’d like that.”

“I think I would, too.”

—

When Dean walked back into the apartment, his feet felt less like a part of him and more like something light years away.

Sam and Jess looked over to him, laptop long closed, worried. “Everything okay?” Sam asked.

Dean slid his phone into his pocket. “I uh… yeah. I… I told him about Dad.”

Sam tensed, because he _understood,_ because Jessica was the first person that hadn’t run away from him, too. “What did he say?” he asked Dean, prepared to hold him, prepared to comfort him just like all the other times.

“He said…” Dean ran a hand through his hair, shaking, because the words were coming back and he didn’t think Gabriel had _noticed_ what he had said, because Dean hadn’t either, not until right now, not until there were tears suddenly raining down his face.

Sam was out of his seat, face anguished. “Dean—“

“He didn’t mean to say it,” Dean told Sam, sure. “He didn’t mean to. It just slipped out. It just…”

And Sam was ready to fight Gabriel, to punch him next he saw him, to stay up late with Dean. “It’s okay.”

Dean looked up to him, eyes wide and crying and disbelieving. “He said he—“ _I still love you as a whole word. I still love you. I love you. I love you. I love you._ “He said he loves me,” he whispered.

Sam froze. “He did?”

Dean nodded. “Sam,” he begged. And he didn’t have proper words so he hugged Sam tight and buried his face in his shoulder. Because he had been seen to his core, because the ugliest parts of him had been put on full display, and Gabriel loved him.

Gabriel had seen his skin and declared them enemies. He had seen his bones and declared them friends. And now Gabriel had seen the parts of his brain that only showed themselves as vague shapes in his nightmares, and declared himself in love.

_A scene, from a nonexistent play:_

**_Byron:_ ** _O Rosie, but I am a vile creature. I am horrid and foul. Leave me. You holy thing, flee while you still can._

 **_Rosie:_ ** _O but Byron, did you not know? I cut off my wings eons ago. You are wounded like me. I think — yes, it is so — I love you._

 **_Byron:_ ** _What a horrible thing to do. What a wicked thing to be. In love with me._

 **_Rosie:_ ** _But I myself find solace in the wicked and horrible. Yes. Yes. Byron. I love you._

“Dean?” Sam asked softly, holding him tight.

“I think I love him too,” Dean whispered back. “I think I— I love him. Sam. Sam, I don’t know what to— I don’t know how to say—“

“Just say it. Once. Even if you’re not sure if it’s true yet. I won’t tell anyone,” he promised.

Dean buried his face in Sam’s chest and took steadying breaths. “I love him,” Dean tried, and the words didn’t burn his tongue at all.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now i'm gonna go cut my own hair bc c'est la vie

“Gabe, is everything—“

Gabriel grabbed the whiskey bottle off the table and downed one mouthful, then another.

“Um.” Charlie exchanged a look with Castiel. “You good?”

“Not drunk enough,” Gabe grunted before throwing back another two shots worth.

“For?” Castiel questioned, about half a second away from taking the bottle from him.

“I wrote the damn idiot a song,” Gabe announced before throwing back another swig and hissing through his teeth. “I gotta sing it for him. I just gotta.”

“So your solution is passed out drunk?”

“Drunk enough I can’t think too hard about it.” He pointed to them with the hand holding the bottle. “One of you be cameraman?”

Cas smirked. “Just like old times, huh?”

“Nah. Better.”

—

“You have to tell him.”

“I don’t have to do _shit.”_

Dean and Jessica stared each other down as Sam scowled at both of them, Posie in his arms. “Guys. Stop fighting.”

Dean and Jess were… very similar. They were both hard-headed and stubborn and would die for Sam in a heartbeat. They loved with actions. And they loved each other — of _course_ they loved each other. But that didn’t stop them from baring their teeth every time they argued.

“You’re a goddamned coward, Winchester,” Jess said through clenched teeth. “If you tell a boy you’ve killed people and his response is to send you a fucking _marriage_ request, you don’t just keep pretending there’s nothing there!”

“I _know_ there’s something there, alright?! That’s— I’m _terrified,_ okay?! What if he changes his mind, huh? Or what if I’m wrong and this isn’t love? I don’t know! It’s not like I spent my whole childhood going around falling in love with people!”

“Look, I get it, okay? You grew up not having a role model for what love is supposed to _be._ You grew up with toxic bullshit and it’s hard to separate that all out. But your damn _uncertainty_ is your entire problem! Who _gives a shit_ if you’re wrong, huh? Why do you _have_ to be right?!”

“Because he deserves that, okay?!” Dean was breathing hard, gesticulating wildly. “Gabriel _deserves_ someone that knows _for sure_ what love is! He deserves someone who can treat him right from the _get-go!”_

“That’s not your decision to make!” Jess took a deep breath. “You don’t get to _decide_ who he does and doesn’t deserve. He chose you, dumbass. Respect his decisions.”

“He _can’t_ have done it in full thought! I’m—“

“Don’t you dare finish that fucking sentence, Dean. I won’t have you _or_ Sam talking yourselves down in my house. You are _wonderful._ I will _not_ listen to anyone say otherwise, even if I have to kick them where the sun don’t shine to shut them up. And that _includes_ you.” She picked up his phone from the couch and tossed it at him. “You wanna know for sure if you love him? Text it to him. Right now.”

Dean balked. “What? No!”

“Why not? You text it to Sam and me all the time. So text Gabe.”

“It’s different. You know that.”

“Oh, you wanna repeat that?”

He scowled. “It’s just… not polite to tell someone you love them for the first time over text.”

“Dean. You’re struggling so damn hard to keep from admitting to even _yourself_ that you love him.”

“I’ve accepted the possibility! I said it out loud!”

“Good. Now say it to him.”

“I—“ he blinked in surprise at the notification on his phone. “My channel just posted a new video?”

“Hey, don’t change the subject!”

He held up a hand and unlocked his phone. “We didn’t record anything since the explosion.”

“Winchester!”

“Just… hang on a sec.” He opened the video and waited for it to buffer. “It’s called ‘this is for dean and everyone else can fuck off’.”

Sam smoothly jumped in. “Fantastic! We can watch it on the TV and everyone take a breather.”

Jess poked Dean in the chest. “This isn’t over.” Sam pulled her onto the couch, and Dean sat beside her, casting the video to the TV.

Gabriel was standing in the middle of the street, guitar in hand and dusty amp beside him. He was very obviously drunk.

“Dean! I wrote a song!” He pointed at the camera. “For you. I wrote a song for you. Aaaand now I’m gonna sing it. To you. Because I feel like I uh, like I need to. I gotta. I gotta sing it to you.”

Gabriel strummed a few chords on the guitar before nodding to himself and picking up the speed.

_“Your eyes are the night sky—“_

“Oh my god,” Jess whispered.

_“Your skin an endless sea._

_And everything I thought I couldn’t,_

_You show me I can be._

_Sappy songs ain’t quite my thing_

_And neither were you, honey._

_Thought I liked the thunder—_

_Turned out I like it sunny.”_

The guitar changed, key shifting.

_“And I ain’t played the guitar in years_

_And I haven’t written in longer._

_But if I said you didn’t move me, babe,_

_Well I, I couldn’t be wronger.”_

Dean’s eyes were glued to the TV, heart swirling as the chorus began.

_“You move in me babe._

_And maybe not just the bed kind_

_Maybe it’s just the heart kind_

_Maybe it’s just my bed time._

_‘Cause you’re on my mind_

_Oh honey_

_You’re on my mind.”_

Gabe looked up at the camera, face anxious and honest and everything Dean had been searching his eyes for.

_“I wanna kiss you babe_

_And tie our hands together_

_And you can take that a naughty way_

_But I think we both know better._

_I think I wanna stay a while_

_I think I wanna know you._

_I don’t know how to say it_

_But I think I wanna show you.”_

The chorus came round again, and Dean could’ve sang along, because he had already memorized every syllable coming out of Gabriel’s mouth.

_“Love is a dumbass word_

_People use all wrong._

_So let’s pretend I used it right_

_Instead of writing this song.”_

The guitar abruptly ended and Gabriel cursed softly. “I— I’m sorry I didn’t quite— I don’t know how to end it yet and I reeeeaallllyyyy should’ve fixed that but I just. You just needed to hear it. While I had enough alcohol in me to uh, to sing it to you. So there. That’s. That’s yours. That’s for you.” Gabe tapped a hand at his own chest. “This is, too. Wait, that was lame. Was that lame?”

The cameraman — Cas, it sounded like — denied that it was lame.

“Oh, okay. Good. Good. Uh. I’m done now. Come home soon, okay? I miss you and all that dumb shit.”

“I miss you, too,” Dean told the video quietly before realizing it was, in fact, just a video.

The video ended and Sam and Jess watched Dean, who had hung his head and sighed.

“Yeah, okay,” Dean finally said. “I’ll tell him. Just. In person.”

Jess wrapped an arm around him and squeezed. “One of these days you boys will figure out I’m always right.” She grinned at him. “Your husband has a nice voice.”

Dean laughed and ran a hand over his pink cheeks. “Yeah. He does.”

—

**_[Byron] 1:18am_ ** _your song was amazing_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:18am_ ** _wh thbnk u_

**_[Byron] 1:18am_ ** _damn, that drunk, huh?_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:18am_ ** _I havv embrrssed mysel tonite_

**_[Byron] 1:19am_ ** _yeah? I mean, I thought it was very sweet_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:19am_ ** _psssssst, don tell dean bt I miss him alott_

**_[Byron] 1:19am_ ** _he misses you too_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:19am_ ** _he’ss my bfriend_

**_[Byron] 1:20am_ ** _thought he was your husband?_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:20am_ ** _*boyfrnnd_

**_[Byron] 1:20am_ ** _oh, I’m your boyfriend, huh? That official?_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:20am_ ** _will be when I kiss u_

**_[Byron} 1:21am_ ** _guess we gotta update Facebook again_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:21am_ ** _noononon_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:21am_ ** _ur my hssband. Nd my foyfriend. Are both_

**_[Byron] 1:21am_ ** _your husbandfriend?_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:21am_ ** _my best freind :)_

**_[Byron] 1:22am_ ** _go to sleep, baby_

**_[Gabrosie] 1:22am_ ** _only 4 u_

Dean looked around the dark room and imagined Gabriel, asleep in his room, covers tangled around him. He imagined Gabriel draped over him, breathing softly against his chest, lulling him to sleep.

It hit him, all at once. That maybe he wasn’t sure if he loved Gabriel yet, but that there was no other option. He was _going_ to love Gabriel. It was going to happen. He was going to wake up one day and see crazy bedhead and sleepy eyes and weird boxers and realize he was so in love that he was beyond repair. As if loving Gabriel made him broken. Which it didn’t. It made him whole. It patched up all the cracks that had been hastily taped together to be dealt with later, always later.

It wasn’t _Gabriel_ that fixed him. Dean wasn’t dumb enough to pin his own wellbeing down on one person. It was… accepting that he was capable of love. And being loved. Of knowing that he had intrinsic worth, that Gabriel saw things in him he could never see himself through the dirt his past had left on his eyes. That Gabriel wasn’t a cleaner, but he had handed Dean a wash rag, and Dean could finally start to fix himself.

Dean knew, there in a dark room at almost two in the morning in California, that fate didn’t exist, but that the only path left for him to walk down ended in Gabriel’s arms.

**_[Gabrosie] 1:48am_ ** _btw u r v cute_

No, not ended.

**_[Byron] 1:48am_ ** _wrong number, think you meant to text yourself_

Began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh and btw yes i wrote that song for this fic, sorry it doesn't exist in the real world


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chicken warning?  
> chicken warning.

“I hope death comes for me swiftly,” Gabriel told Castiel the moment he picked up the phone.

“Good morning to you, too, Gabrosie.”

“To die would be a blessing. What have I done.”

“You were very very sweet.”

“I basically proposed to him, Cassie. I _sang him a song._ A song _I wrote. For him.”_

“According to Facebook, you two are already married. Was that your wedding present to him?”

“Jesus Christ. Have you read the comments?”

“No. Have you?”

“Of course not. I need to turn them off.” Gabe watched drunk-him tap his own chest. “Why do you encourage these shenanigans of mine.”

“I believe it was _my_ turn in the prank war. Your shame this morning says that I did well.”

“I hate you very much.”

“I hate you very much as well. Go shower. I can smell you from here.”

“Revenge will come for you with a heavy hammer.”

“Sure it will. The world has seen your true colors now. You are naught but a sap.” Castiel hung up before Gabe could respond.

Gabe sighed and threw his phone down, then picked it back up.

 **_[Gabrosie] 9:18am_ ** _it’s basically 2am and I’m going to jack off to naked photos of you and pretend last night never happened_

 **_[Byron] 9:18am_ ** _you’re up early_

 **_[Byron] 9:18am_ ** _awww, does my best friend miss my sweet bod?_

Gabriel groaned and covered his face, opting to go shower instead of responding to that text.

He had been… well, mostly joking, but if Dean was gonna be an ass about it then—

 _“Sweet holy fuck!”_ Gabe screamed, falling back from the shower and ripping the curtain down in his panic.

He laid in the floor, breathing heavily and staring at the giant squid plushie that was staring right back at him.

“Goddammit Charlie,” he hissed, getting to his feet and pulling the plushie out of the shower. It was almost as big as him, and he gave it a customary squeeze before tossing it on his bed. “You stay,” he commanded it, walking back into the shower. He hung the curtain back up, scowling.

Dammit, he was _going_ to jack off if it fucking killed him.

—

It was going to fucking kill him.

He stood there with his dick in his hand and his forehead banging rhythmically against the wall. “Just. Fucking. Come. Already.”

It didn’t _matter_ what he thought of. He could think of Dean bare naked and dripping wet and breathless and it _still_ wasn’t enough to push him over the edge. He could — and did — think about Dean in lacey panties and fishnets laying on his bedspread and _begging_ for him and he still. couldn’t. finish.

He shut off the water with a growl and stalked to his bedroom, not even bothering to grab a towel. He laid sopping wet on his bed and grabbed his phone, dialing.

“Hello?”

“Tell me how hard you wanna fuck me.”

There was silence, then, quietly, “Sam and Jess are in the next room.”

“Then _go for a drive,”_ Gabe growled. He listened as Dean picked up his keys and closed the door behind him. Baby’s engine started.

“You okay?”

“I can’t. fucking. come.”

“Ah, already getting that erectile dysfunction, huh?”

“You’re a _goddamned_ asshole, you know that?” Gabe gave himself an unhelpful jerk. “I need you. Dammit.”

“Hmm. I _could_ just hang up and leave you in limbo until I get back.”

Gabe froze. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I think we both know I would.”

“Don’t.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Don’t, _asshole.”_

“Mmm, in that case I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later?”

“WAIT!” Gabe cursed himself before gritting out, “Would you _please_ help me out here?”

And he could _hear_ the smirk in Dean’s voice when he said, “What do you need, baby?”

“A lobotomy.”

“Gabe.”

He groaned dramatically. “Dammit. I need _you.”_

“You need me to what?”

Gabe flexed his jaw. “You’re a scientist. Talk to me about _anatomy.”_

“Mmm, not that kind of scientist.”

“Then _make my brain_ release the right _fucking_ chemicals.”

“Alright. You got any sandalwood incense laying around or…?”

“I would hang up on you if I could.”

“I know.” Dean sounded remarkably pleased with that fact. “But you can’t.”

“Tell me how you want me draped naked over you,” Gabe growled out.

“I’ve _actually_ been thinking that we should take a picnic when I get back.”

_“Damn you!”_

“We could each make something for it. I’m thinking I could do burgers and you could do pie, we’d bring some wine along, find some nice hill to climb—“

“I am going to climb _you_ like a fucking jungle gym!”

“And then we could sit at the top and watch the sunset together. You could protect me from any wildlife. It would just be a good time.”

“I. Hate. You.”

“You don’t. I could kiss you under the starlight, you know.”

Gabe’s heart jumped and he did his best to not squish it down. “That’s not _all_ we could do under the starlight.”

“Well, duh. We could do a _lot_ of things. I could hold your hand.”

Gabe bit his lip in confusion. “Why would you do that?”

“That’s a dumb question. You know why. I like being close to you.”

“I like hearing you say it.”

“Then there you go. We could picnic under the sunset, kiss under the stars, and hold hands under the moon. And if no one’s around, I could kiss more than just your lips, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yeah. I wanna kiss all of you. Every inch.”

Gabe’s eyebrows were still furrowed in puzzlement at the lazy pleasure coiling softly in his body. “Which specific inches?”

Dean laughed. “All of them. I wanna take my time mapping you out and memorizing you. What’s the rush?”

“There’s just… usually a rush.”

“Not this time. I’ll take my time wandering across your body. Because I _want_ to. I want to taste all of you.”

“Dean…”

“I’ll make you feel all cherished and wanted and loved, and I won’t have even touched your dick yet.”

“Yet?”

“I’m _obviously_ going to touch your dick, Rosie. Get with the program.”

“I’m—“ He looked down at himself. “I’m very much with the program.”

“Good.”

“But what if, just for arguments sake, I just pushed you over and sped things up?”

“Why would you want to?”

“I—“ Gabe paused. “I don’t know.”

“Let me love you, Gabe.”

Gabriel stared at the ceiling for a long moment. “I’m trying.”

“No, you’re pushing me over when I’m _trying_ to worship you, dick. Let me kiss your thighs until you’re squirming with anticipation.”

Gabe let out a soft sound and swallowed his protests. “Fine.”

“I’ve got half a hazy memory that you like hickeys. Am I right?”

Gabe cleared his throat awkwardly. “I uh. Yeah. You’d be right.”

“So maybe I just trail them across your thighs then, until I can kiss your dick.”

The coiling of pleasure wasn’t quite so lazy anymore. “Alright.” Gabe closed his eyes, thrusting his hips softly.

“And I could take you into my mouth all slow, so you can feel every inch of heat.”

Gabe groaned quietly.

“And I’d just bob on you, fast enough that you’re building but not fast enough to let you finish.”

Gabriel bit his tongue to keep from saying things that were probably very true.

“You gonna ask?”

“Mm?”

“I mean, I’m very happy to just edge you for hours, but you can always ask for something else.”

Gabe’s lips parted in a soft gasp, hand not so much _speeding up_ as just… adjusting tactics. “Fuck me.”

Dean made a _tsk_ noise. “Language, Rosie.”

“How else am I supposed to — _mm_ — supposed to ask?”

“Well you could try, I dunno, _actually_ _asking.”_

Gabe took a deep breath and let it out, legs tensing. “What if I just— just pulled you up and guided you in, huh? Would that count?”

“Hmm, it can count for now. But y’know. Eventually you’re gonna have to ask for what you want.”

“I’ll work on it.” Gabe was moving languid and slow but tight and— “Dean. I— I need you,” he whispered.

“I’m right here,” Dean whispered back. “You’re close, right? You’ve got that certain little— hitch to your voice.”

Gabe groaned softly. “Damn you and your knowledge of— of me.”

“It’s the ordeal, baby. I know you. And I know you’d like the way I’d fuck you in the moonlight.”

Gabe really wanted to say _Language, Byron,_ but he was too busy holding back moans. “Babe I—“

“I want to kiss you until I can’t breathe,” Dean told him softly.

And that was such a dumb thing — such a fucking _innocent_ thing to undo Gabriel, but his hips lifted off the bed and he came, arm thrown over his face and Dean’s name spilling from his lips.

He dropped back down and tried to catch his breath, arm still flung over his eyes.

“Thanks,” he said roughly.

Dean snorted. “All I get is a thanks?”

“Look, I’ll pin you against a wall when you get back and kiss you senseless. I just— I gotta breathe for a second.”

“You’re beautiful,” Dean told him matter-of-factly, out of the blue.

Gabe smiled, too tired to say anything but, “So are you, Byron.”

Dean sighed. “I’ve got a _situation_ now so thanks for that.”

“Come home. I’ll take care of it in the moonlight.”

“Did you just call yourself my home?”

“I meant your house but did… do you think of me as your home?” Gabe peeked open one eye.

“Depends on what you mean by home.” Dean looked around the empty parking lot he hadn’t bothered driving away from. “I’m comfortable with you.”

Gabe wiped himself off with a shirt before rolling over and snuggling the giant squid. “I’m made for comfort, babes.”

Dean inhaled sharply, and Gabe looked over to the phone.

“Uh. You good?”

“Yeah. I’m— yeah. Just sorta deja vu.”

“Okay?”

“I had a dream about you the other night. That’s all.”

“Was it a wet dream?”

Dean half-laughed. “Uh, no. No. It was… really domestic, actually. I made breakfast and you came out and kissed me and—“ _I love you, Winchester._ “—and that’s it.”

“In my experience, if someone says ‘and that’s it’, that’s _not_ it.”

He sighed and was quiet for a moment. “You kissed me and told me you love me. And I woke up.”

“Oh.” Gabe swallowed harshly. “Scared you that bad, huh?”

“It… was nice.” Dean cleared his throat.

“…How did I say it?”

“What?”

“Like. What exactly did I say?”

“You… said you loved me.”

“But how exactly? What… What did I say?”

And Dean could back out with a sarcastic remark or a teasing jab, but he closed his eyes and said, “You said… I love you.”

“I love you?”

“Y-yeah. I love you.”

“I love you,” Gabe repeated softly, as if confirming he got all the details right.

Dean let the moment hang, let himself forget the context for a moment, just to see how it felt. “Just like that.”

“Just that simple, huh? Just… I love you.”

“I guess it was technically _I love you, Winchester_ but… yeah.”

Gabe snorted. “Sounds like me.”

“Yeah.” Dean suddenly cleared his throat. “Anyway, I better get back inside. Breakfast time and all that.”

“Dean.”

“Yeah?”

“Your dreams are uh, pretty accurate.” He let out a nervous breath. “See ya later.” He hung up before he could say anything else he might regret later.

—

In a parking lot, in his car, Dean stared at his phone for a long time.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my cat wrote a bit on this chapter but I cut it out bc I am cruel and capricious and she cannot spell

Castiel yawned quietly and walked into his kitchen, starting a pot of coffee.

Or, he would, if there wasn’t already one going.

He gratefully poured himself a cup and looked around for either of the gremlins that could have been up before him, but his house appeared empty.

“That’s not suspicious at all,” he deadpanned to himself, going to his front yard. “Ah, there you two are.”

Gabe waved from where he laid stomach-down on the ground. “Howdy.”

Charlie waved her tattoo gun in the air as a greeting. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering that myself.” He took a sip of his coffee. “It would appear you’re giving Gabriel a tattoo.”

“Yeah! My tattoo gun came in today and he said I could practice on him!”

“How… nice.” He walked over closer. “What are you tattooing?”

Charlie looked up from her stencil. “It’s gonna say ‘the one thing’.”

“Is that a Mulaney reference?”

Gabe looked up then groaned and plopped his head back down. “It wasn’t _supposed_ to be but it’s totally gonna be read that way and— aw, fuck. I might have to rethink this.”

Castiel sat beside them, taking another sip. “Then what was it meant to be?”

“It was a Hamilton reference.”

Cas shrugged. “Haven’t seen it.”

Gabe sighed and rolled his eyes. “Line from a song. It goes, ‘I am the one thing in life I can control’.”

“Wonderful sentiment.” Castiel looked at Gabriel’s bare back. “Perhaps I could choose a tattoo for you?”

Gabe waved his hand absently. “Sure. Have at it.”

“Fantastic. May I?” He took Charlie’s stencil marker from her and drew on Gabriel’s back, down his spine. “That should suffice.”

Gabe tried unsuccessfully to crane his neck back. “What does it say?”

“Secret.”

He scowled. “Charlie. What does it say?”

“I… have literally never seen this language before.”

Castiel ruffled Gabe’s hair. “There are very few letters here. It should not take long.” He leaned back to watch.

“Dammit Cassie,” Gabe grumbled before sighing and resigning himself. “Whatever. Carpe diem and all that shit.”

Charlie shrugged. “Alright. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

—

“Take a picture and show me.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“You’re clever. Figure it out yourself.” Castiel tended to his plants while Gabe sat forward in a lawn chair.

“You’re an ass, you know that?”

“I’ve been told that once or twice, yes.”

Gabe tried again to reach at the wrap Charlie had put around him.

“Leave that alone.”

He stuck his tongue out at Cas. “Spoilsport.”

“Perhaps. What are the Winchesters up to today?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. I haven’t heard from Dean since this morning.”

Cas turned back to raise his eyebrows. “Really? That seems highly out of character.”

“We’re not _joined_ at the _hip,_ you know.”

“Oh, I know. You’re joined at the—“ he looked Gabriel up and down, “everything.”

“He’s with his family. Relax.” Gabe rolled his eyes.

“Mmm.” Cas leaned back on his palms. “So how is having a steady relationship going?”

He snorted. “I don’t have a steady _anything.”_

“Right. Of course not. You just have spent the past few months solely thinking about or acting on thoughts of him.”

“That’s not true! I’ve done… other stuff. I have a job.”

“And how is that going?”

“Fine.” Gabriel stuck his tongue out. “I recorded enough content at the beginning of quarantine to tide me over for a while.”

“Ah, so we are still ignoring all the comments on the past five podcasts, then.”

“Those motherfuckers are insatiable.”

“They want a second interview with your husband. How atrocious.” Cas side-eyed him. “That was an interesting notification to receive, by the way. I’m hurt that I wasn’t invited to the wedding.”

“Yeah, you can shut up.”

“No, truly. I wanted to help you dress shop. Something bouncy and short.”

Gabe almost considered it for half a second. “It was a romantic gesture.”

“Facebook proposals are always romantic, so I’ve been told. I’ve seen so many movies about them.”

“It wasn’t a proposal, dumbass.”

“Facebook weddings, too. Who was the ordaining minister?”

“Bold of you to assume a church had anything to do with it.”

“Ah, the ancient way, then.” Castiel let out a fake, pining sigh. “Oh, to whisper promises of forever in the darkness of the night, for only each other and the universe to hear.”

“…huh?”

Cas shook his head, smiling. “That was once how you wed someone. You promised yourself to them, and they did the same. As long as the words were said aloud, it was binding.”

Gabe stared blankly. “Um. What words?”

Cas stared right back. “I thee wed?”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay. Phew. Thought I might have actually married him for a second there.”

“…Should I ask?”

“We just had a heart to heart. No big deal.” Gabe cleared his throat. “Anyway, he should be back in a few days, and then I can stop bothering you all the time.”

“I don’t mind you bothering me. Mostly.”

“Gee, thanks, Cassie.”

“Anything for you, Gabrosie.”

—

Gabe watched with rapt attention as James approached Dr. Sexy slowly, cornering him in the elevator.

_“I’m so tired of this, Doctor. Dancing around. We are doctors, not dancers.”_

And James was suddenly making out with Dr. Sexy on an elevator ride that should _not_ have been that long.

“Daaaaaamn,” Gabe whispered, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

His phone alarm went off and he swiped up without looking. “Hey.”

“Hey,” came Dean’s voice. “Whatcha doin?”

“You _never_ told me Dr. Sexy was gay.”

“I think I did.”

“Nope. I would’ve remembered that.”

“I mean, I specifically told you that the reason I wanted the part was because he’s scripted to kiss us, so.”

“But he’s like—“ He watched Dr. Sexy wrap his legs around James. “Oh fuck. He’s like _actually_ gay. Not like. Kiss and never tell. Not a bury your gays. Like. He’s just. He’s gay. Bi.”

“Thought it wasn’t your kind of show?”

“Yeah well… shut up.”

“Aww, are you watching it just because I help with it?”

“Like I said. Shut up.”

Dean chuckled softly. “Is this what you’ve been doing all day?”

“Pretty much.” He paused. “Well, no. Charlie gave me a tattoo.”

“…what?”

“Yeah, dunno what it is yet. Cas drew it. It’s on my back.” Shirts came off. “Uh, this is veering really quickly into _actual_ porn.”

“It’s a fantastic show, what can I say. But let’s back it up to the tattoo thing, and you not even knowing what it is?”

“C’est la vie.”

“I really, really hope it’s a giant dick.”

“Nah, he didn’t spend enough time drawing it for it to be your face.”

“…I walked into that one.”

“Yep,” Gabe said, letting the p pop. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. Movie marathon with everyone. Just enjoyed being together.”

Gabe glanced at the phone. “Sounds like you’re in your car.”

“I am. We decided to drive up the coast and check out the views but uh…” Dean glanced in his back seat, “they’re literally all asleep.”

Gabe snorted. “Adorable.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

“Meeting the family, huh? We haven’t even been on our first date yet.”

“You don’t count the forest as a date?”

“You do?”

“Duh.”

“Hmm.” Gabe paused the show and flipped over onto his back, only wincing slightly. “I might be persuaded to consider our car ride to the explosion site a date.”

“So between us, a perfect date would be bad karaoke and mushroom hunting.”

“See, I can tell that you’ve corrupted me, because that legitimately sounds fun.”

“Wanna when I get back?”

“What? Sing bad songs in your car and go get more glowy mushrooms?” Gabe grinned. “Yeah, okay.”

“Then it’s a date. An official one.”

“Ooo, no can do. You gotta ask me out. For real.”

Dean sighed. “Gabriel.”

“I get all tingly when you say my full name like that.”

“Yeah?” Dean’s voice had slipped a bit smoother, but he quickly went back to serious. “Gabriel Rosie Shurley. Would you do me the honor of going out with me?”

“Hmm, I _suppose_ I could clear up my schedule.” He was grinning at the ceiling.

Dean was grinning, too. “And when might a creature as exquisite as you have free time?”

“The moment you kiss me, Byron.”

“Oh, but not before? You’re gonna be like, running a marathon and I’m gonna have to catch up to you and kiss you, and _then_ you’re just gonna stop everything you’re doing?”

Gabe laughed. “Well, not everything.”

“Oh?”

“I will still very much keep _you_ on my to-do list.”

“I better be at the top.”

“Or the bottom. I’ll guess we’ll just see, won’t we?” Gabe purred.

“Well hey now, I’ve already _been_ the bottom. Next turn’s you.”

“We’ll just keep a running list. I can be on bottom on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and you can be on bottom Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

“What about Sundays?”

“We wrestle for it.”

Dean laughed loudly. “That sounds fair and horribly unfun. I say we wrestle for it _every_ day.”

Gabe pondered that a moment. “I already see a loophole to this idea so I’m entirely on board.”

“Oh god. What is the loophole?”

“I only have to win _once.”_

“How do you figure?”

“Alright. So. I win once. Give you the best sex of your _life._ Then _immediately_ wrestle you again. You’re jelly-legged. You’re spent. You sure as _hell_ can’t win, so I’ve secured my role as top for the next time. Repeat ad infinitum.”

Dean chuckled softly. “Alright. But you’re missing one crucial detail.”

“Oh?”

“I can _also_ give you the best sex of your life from the _bottom,_ thereby leaving _you_ jelly-legged instead. So I win. And then I can use your tactic to always choose whatever I want.”

Gabe laughed loudly. “Oh, _sure_ you can, pillow princess.”

“You’ll see. I was _incapacitated_ last time. I use my mouth a _lot.”_

“Yeah, I know. You bossy thing.”

“You like it.”

“I do, you’re right. You’re just so cute when you do it.”

“I resent that!”

“Look, it’s not _my_ fault that you get all red-faced and you get this cute pout in your eyes! I can only _assume_ your lips were pouting, too. It’s just. So fuckin’ adorable.”

“I could win in a fight against you.”

“Doubtful, but we can test that on one of our future dates.”

Dean grinned. “I think Cas might try to kill me again if we do that. ‘Oh, where are you taking my brother?’ ‘We’re going to fight until one of us passes out!’”

“I’m the one you should be worried about, not Cas. I won’t go easy on you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dean licked his lips absently. “Really though, if you wanna spar, I’ve been looking for a partner.”

“Partner? Dean, it’s okay. You can call me your husband.”

“Dork.”

“That is Dork _Husband_ to you.”

“Yeah well, husbands are supposed to take interest in the other’s hobbies so. You. Me. Sparring.”

“What does the winner get?”

“Is _everything_ a competition with you?”

Gabe smirked. “Yes.”

“Winner gets head.”

“I like the way you think.”

“Of course you do. I’ve corrupted you.”

“Corrupt me more, babe.”

Dean shook his head, grinning evilly. “Now, that I can do.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drumrolls*

Gabe stretched his arms and winced at the crick in his neck. “That’s what I get for falling asleep on my laptop,” he murmured, looking at the screen where it said _Still watching Dr. Sexy MD?_

He checked his phone, which was at half battery and had a new text.

**_[Byron] 5:18am_ ** _good morning, baby_

Gabe smiled sleepily and yawned.

**_[Gabrosie] 12:18pm_ ** _really going all out on this baby thing, huh?_

He walked over to his bed and collapsed on it, snuggling into the many-armed squid plushie. It took exactly zero time before he fell asleep again.

He woke up to a soft laugh.

“Yeah? I mean, bubble baths aren’t _that_ weird of a guilty pleasure.”

He blinked blearily and looked to his phone. “Dean?”

“What, mine? You already know mine. You took _polaroids_ of mine.”

Gabe looked around the room before face planting into his bed. “Goddammit. How long have we been talking?”

Dean chuckled. “Oh, are you finally awake now?”

“I should ban you from talking to me while I sleep.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Did I say anything embarrassing?”

“A lot of things. Gonna have to be more specific.”

Gabe smirked. “Ass.” He sighed dramatically and rolled over. “How much longer until you’re back again?”

“Well, I left four days ago. You can do the math.”

“Too early for math.”

“Isn’t it past noon there?”

“Too. Early.”

“Ah, of course. I forgot. It’s _always_ too early for math.”

“You got it.”

Dean laughed quietly. “What are your plans for today?”

“Probably binging more Dr. Sexy.”

“You’re hooked.”

“I am _suffering_ through this for _your_ benefit.”

“Mmhm. Sure. So you’re too busy for another game night tonight?”

“Never too busy for that, babes.”

He couldn’t see Dean’s wide grin. “Okay. How does five o’clock sound?”

“Like a shadow. I’m in.”

“…That was horrible. I’m hanging up on you.”

“Talk to ya tonight.” Gabe grabbed his phone. “Wait. We’ve been talking for _three hours?!”_

Dean laughed loudly. “You’ve got an hour and a half to get ready to have your ass beat, baby!”

“What did I _say?!”_

Dean hung up and Gabe scowled, wishing he too recorded all his phone conversations.

Gabriel grabbed one of Dean’s shirts and his new pajama pants and got dressed, strolling over to Castiel’s.

Cas and Charlie were in the pool in the front yard, sunglasses and mimosas in tow.

“Game night tonight,” Gabe informed them, laying down on the grass beside the pool.

Charlie took a nonchalant sip of her drink and Castiel raised an eyebrow. “Are they picking the game?”

Gabe shrugged. “Dunno. Dean just asked and I said yeah so.”

“Truly, your planning is impeccable.”

Charlie snorted. “We’ll have a backup plan in case they don’t have one.” She glanced over at Cas. “Or you could text Sam.”

“I could.” Cas pretended to reach for his phone before giving up. “But my phone is so far away.”

Charlie nodded in deep understanding. “Then it shall just be up to chance,” she agreed.

Castiel leaned his head back to look at Gabriel. “Unless, of course, someone wants to be my savior?”

Gabe sighed and handed Cas his phone. “Drama queen.”

“My savior!” Cas exclaimed, sending a quick text to Sam.

**_[Cas] 3:32pm_ ** _Are you guys in charge of game night or are we?_

**_[Sam] 3:33pm_ ** _Either or. We had some ideas, but we also know it’s kind of your thing so_

**_[Cas] 3:33pm_ ** _Ah, yes. Charlie and I have claimed the entire concept of game night. Our patent is still pending, though, so perhaps legal action won’t be taken against you four if you plan tonight._

**_[Sam] 3:34pm_ ** _Well, I am a lawyer, so I should be able to defend myself._

**_[Cas] 3:34pm_ ** _That sounds vaguely illegal. I approve._

“They’re in charge,” Cas announced, tossing his phone back.

“Intriguing,” Charlie responded. “Tell them I look forward to what they come up with.”

Cas looked back to Gabe. “I would, if only I had a—“

“Savior, yeah yeah. I got it.” Gabe handed Cas his phone back, and Cas grinned wide at him.

“Oh, thank you, savior!”

“Submit a request for me to be on the other team while you’re at it,” Gabe grumbled.

Charlie grinned at him. “Thought you swung for both teams?”

“…I walked into that one.”

—

Gabe popped the popcorn as Sam and Jess waved from the screen. Charlie was back to making cooing sounds at Posie, who was grinning widely.

“Your boyfriend will be out shortly,” Jess teased Gabe. “He’s in the bathroom.”

Gabe snorted. “First off, he’s my husband. Obviously. Second off, leave it to that dumbass to give me a specific time and not even be here.”

“In his defense, he’s still trying to get that lipstick off,” Sam said.

Gabriel laughed, handing out drinks to Charlie and Cas. “Baby oil. It literally just takes baby oil.” He glanced at his phone. “Oh, speak of the devil.”

Charlie tried to peek at his screen. “Who is it? Baby Oil itself?”

Gabe ignored her, answering his phone. “Funny, Sam and Jess were just telling me embarrassing stories about you.”

Dean laughed softly. “That so?”

“Yeah. Something about a potty dance? Dunno. Get your ass into game mode, bitch.”

“My ass _is_ in game mode!” Dean responded, offended.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t see you on this screen here, so get your perky ass out of the bathroom.”

“I’m not in the bathroom?”

“Wow.” Gabe turned to the screen. “Can’t believe you two lied to me.”

“I’m outside, you idiot.”

“Well get _inside_ and get ready to get owned!”

“You’re not—“ Dean sighed. “Look. It was gonna be a surprise, but I ordered you pizza so like. Sorry I’m a bit behind schedule.”

Gabe blinked in surprise. “You— ordered me pizza?” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “That’s— Damn, that’s really sweet, babe.”

“It should be there any minute so uh, yeah. I’ll head inside.”

“I—“ Gabe’s face heated up. “I’m falling for you so hard, Byron.”

He could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. “Same here. See ya in a few.”

They hung up and Gabe avoided everyone’s glances.

“That sounded sappy,” Charlie informed him.

“I got free pizza so you can shove it, missy,” Gabe shot back, sticking his tongue out.

The doorbell rang, and Gabe shot up to get it, but Charlie pounced and held him down. “Run, Cas! Steal the pizza!”

“Don’t you dare!” Gabe yelled, struggling.

Cas shot him a wicked grin and went to answer the door.

Gabe wrestled with Charlie until they both heard a “fuckfuckfuck _fuck”_ from the entryway. They froze.

“Uh,” Gabe called out. “Everything good, Cassie?”

Cas walked back into the room, dead-faced. “I think you were supposed to answer the door,” he said, sounding strangled.

“What?”

Cas jerked his thumb towards the hall, not looking. “Please go answer the door.”

Gabriel hesitantly disentangled himself from Charlie. “I have a few concerns.”

Cas ran a hand over his mouth. “Just. Go.”

“Um.” Gabe stood up and walked to the front door, glancing over his shoulder in worry. “Am I gonna get murdered?”

No one responded, so he flung the front door open to see the back of the pizza delivery guy, who was staring up at the sky with his hands in his hair.

“Hello?” Gabe asked, briefly wondering if he should grab a mask.

The man spun around and it was—

“Dean,” Gabe breathed.

Dean’s eyes were wide and he held his hands out in surrender. “I am _so sorry,”_ he insisted, cheeks red. “I thought _you_ were going to answer the door and I was so nervous and so I just _went for it_ but it wasn’t you and—“

Gabe’s eyes trailed over him, his brain sluggishly putting the pieces together. “Did you… flash my brother?”

Dean winced. “I uh. I may have kissed him.”

“You kissed him,” Gabe repeated, thoughts still lagging. “You aren’t in California.”

“I was! But then we had that talk about our pasts and you sang me that song and I couldn’t— I mean, I _had_ to— and Sam and Jess said they were going to kick me out if I didn’t anyway so— Yeah. I. Yeah. I came back. To uh. To surprise you.”

“That’s why you haven’t been texting as much,” Gabe said blankly, nodding.

“I— yeah. I uh. I’ve been driving. I— dammit, this is really not how I wanted it to go.”

“What? You didn’t wanna kiss Castiel?” Gabe looked at Dean’s panicked face and finally giggled. “Oh my god. He looked traumatized.”

 _“I’m_ traumatized,” Dean grumbled. “I thought— I thought for _sure_ you were gonna answer the door.”

“I tried! Charlie wrestled me to the ground!”

“Okay look, if you can’t even take _Charlie_ what the hell makes you think you’re gonna be able to take _me?”_

“Well _you_ I have a bone to pick with.”

“That so?”

“Yeah, what kind of motherfucker goes around kissing his husband’s brother?”

“…Would that make me a _brother_ fucker?”

Gabriel giggled, then laughed outright. When Dean took a step forward, Gabriel pressed back against the front door, still laughing.

“K-kiss m-me,” Gabriel forced out between his laughs.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how horrible a husband I am.”

Gabe laughed even harder, shoulders shaking as he grabbed Dean’s shirt and pulled him closer. “I s-sa-said, k-k-iss-s m-m-mee,” he managed.

“Well you gotta stop laughing first,” Dean said, starting to laugh himself. “You’re contagious!”

Gabe closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, calming himself. “Okay.” He opened his eyes and immediately started giggling again.

Dean laughed with him, finally just putting a hand behind his head and pulling him in, smile to smile.

The first kiss was wide-grinned, the second soft-smiled, and the third drawn-browed and desperate, hands clutching tightly to all the places they feared they’d lose forever if they let go.

Gabe’s back was pressed against the door and his front was pressed against Dean, hands going from face to hair to shoulders, never resting anywhere.

Dean was just as gone, tongue hellbent on tasting Gabriel if it was the last thing he ever did.

Gabe tried to say _Dean_ against his lips, but it came out as more of a _mmph,_ lips parting against Dean’s entreating tongue. He wrapped one leg around Dean’s hips and yanked him flush against him, hand sliding up under his shirt.

When the door suddenly opened behind them, they toppled over, pupils blown and breathing hard.

“This is your friendly reminder that my property is not for your sexual escapades,” Castiel deadpanned, trying to hide his smile. “Please extract yourself to either of your houses.”

They were still staring at each other, silent, until Gabriel licked his lips. Dean shook himself out of his stupor. “Right. Right.” In one swift motion, he was standing up, Gabriel thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“HEY!” Gabriel yelled indignantly. “This is demeaning!” His eyes caught sight of Dean’s ass and he slipped his hands into his back pockets. “Wait. I retract my previous statement. Please continue.”

Dean waved awkwardly to Cas. “Uh. Sorry about… yeah.”

Cas sighed. “I suppose it makes you and Gabriel even, what with him kissing Sam and all.”

“What.”

Gabe kicked his feet fruitlessly. “It was through the phone! I was high! It was your fault! Less talking, more walking!”

Dean rolled his eyes fondly, face heating up. “See you guys later. Have fun with game night.”

“Oh, we will. Remember what I said about what happens if you hurt him.”

“I will literally never forget.”

Cas smirked as Dean carted Gabriel back to his house, shaking his head. “About time,” he mumbled to himself before returning to game night.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 1am, this is not proofread, enjoy
> 
> Edit: I almost forgot tHE CHICKENS

Dean kicked his door shut behind them and let Gabriel down in the dark entryway. Gabe’s feet had barely touched ground before Dean was pushing Gabe hard against the wall, lips against lips and neck and collar. The force of them careening into the wall knocked loose a picture, which Dean literally _could not_ care less about. It was a framed cross-stitch of the molecular construction of caffeine, which he could usually draw by heart but currently had a very hard time remembering. The only line that mattered right now was the line of fine hair leading from Gabriel’s stomach down into his pants, which Dean dropped to follow with his tongue.

“Woaahh okay, so we’re just— just going right for it,” Gabriel said shakily, hips leaving the wall.

“Was there supposed to be a pretense?” Dean breathed against his stomach.

“No but I— heh,” Gabe stammered off, grabbing Dean and pulling him back up. Dean’s tongue dragged desperately along his stomach until his shirt cut the exploration short. “I wasn’t done kissing you,” Gabe breathed against his lips.

Gabriel wasn’t even— well okay he was _absolutely_ trying to be sexual, but there was some other part of him that just _desperately_ wanted to be close to Dean, and less clothes was the most direct route. He pulled at Dean’s shirt but that _motherfucker_ wouldn’t stop running his hands all over Gabe instead of putting them in the air so he could _get the damn thing off already._

And he tasted like— fuck, like goddamned _honey_ on the inhale and whiskey on the exhale, taste lingering in the back of his throat, begging him to kiss a little deeper, to claim Dean’s mouth until all it tasted like was _him._

And Gabe had never been a jealous sort — or even a strictly monogamous sort, if he was honest with himself — but there was a sudden jolt of _mine_ that about knocked him off his feet.

It wasn’t even like a— like a _possessive_ sort of mine. It was more like… like a realization that there were billions of people on the Earth, and billions that had come before, and each person had millions of experiences throughout their life (making the grand total of experiences a number Gabriel didn’t even _know),_ and here he was, kissing Dean Winchester with the ferocity of a thousand split atoms, and this experience was his _alone._

The universe could end tomorrow, or in a billion years, or never, and he would still be the only person who had experienced what he was feeling right that moment.

Thousands of ignored church services, hundreds of grit-teethed group prayers, and this — _this_ — was what sent Gabriel Shurley to his knees.

Dean caught him easily, so easily their lips didn’t even part. He was holding Gabriel up, and Gabe wrapped his legs around Dean with all the force he could muster, because he was gone, Gabriel Shurley was gone on this stupid human and nothing and no one could ever change that.

He might have said _I love you._ He wasn’t sure. Whatever he said didn’t come out as words, more of muffled noises of intention against other lips, against another tongue. His shirt was off. When did his shirt come off? When had _Dean’s_ come off?

Bare chest to bare chest, and Dean’s hands were fumbling with his pants, and thank the stars they were just pajama pants because neither had the mental fortitude to undo any buttons right about now. Well, Dean’s pants had a button, but one solid tug and they were over his hips, sliding down to the floor.

“Baby,” Dean breathed against his lips, laughing. “You gotta drop your legs so I can get your pants off.”

Gabe dropped his legs for all of two seconds, just long enough for his pants to hit ground before he was wrapped around Dean again, legs against the smooth skin of hips.

“You’re impossible,” Dean whispered, smiling as he pulled fruitlessly at Gabriel’s boxers.

Gabe threw his head back and groaned melodramatically. He hooked one foot in the back of Dean’s boxers and dropped his legs, effectively leaving Dean naked. “You’re…”

“I’m?”

And for once in his life, Gabe didn’t actually have a retort, so he repeated, “You are.” and once again, Dean was wrapped up in him.

“I’m impossible?” Dean rumbled against his throat, hands wandering.

“No. You just… are. You are.” Gabe stared into green eyes that were _so much closer_ than they had ever been, and honestly, why did he expect himself to make sense? “You’re gorgeous,” he heard himself say.

“Didn’t know I was a mirror,” Dean told Gabe’s jaw, biting gently as his fingers slid home.

“Fuck,” Gabe responded, forehead against Dean’s shoulder, breathing hard.

“I am,” Dean snarked, grinning, and Gabriel laughed weakly against him.

“You’re perfect,” Gabe said, and under usual circumstances he would curse whatever sappy portion of his brain had hijacked his mouth, but there were other things to focus on at the moment.

“I ain’t perfect,” Dean told him, leaving a solid hickey on Gabe’s throat, which was a good move if the keening noise Gabe made was anything to go by.

Gabe was torn between closing his eyes and staring at the way Dean’s body moved. “Duh, no one is— no one’s perfect. I just meant you’re perfect for—“ And that was a bad way to start a sentence but he had already started it so he finished lamely, “me.”

Dean’s mouth had covered every available inch it had access to, and Gabe got the distinct impression that if it weren’t for his own legs keeping Dean firmly above his waist, his entire body would’ve been covered in kisses or hickeys or both.

Dean didn’t quite have a response to being called perfect for anything, other than to steady his suddenly-shaking hands against Gabe’s skin as he slid home, both groaning and their heads clashing roughly together.

He did not think about being _wanted,_ or _needed,_ or _loved,_ because this was _sex,_ not a chick flick, and what did it _matter_ if he had never been told he was perfect for _anything,_ not even killing, not even being a son, not even raising Sam, not anything at all.

But he was perfect for Gabriel.

“Fuck,” Dean managed as a tear tracked across his face. His mouth was open and panting, and Gabe kissed it tenderly. _Tenderly,_ like Dean was worth being gentle with.

“We are,” Gabe responded, and Dean laughed and held Gabe’s face which was— which was also wet.

There was a brief moment of panic, because while _Dean_ was crying because he felt loved, he didn’t know why Gabriel was crying, and he prayed it wasn’t him.

It was him. It was everything about him. It was the way he held Gabe, and Gabe’s sudden thought process. It was Dean learning Gabe had killed people, and his immediate reaction had been to _come back_ to him. Had been to surprise him with a kiss. Had been to _kiss him._ Had been to kiss him after everything, with such intensity that he drove _all night_ to reach him. _Him._ Gabriel Shurley, the fuck up, the weirdo, the non-conforming _mess_ who had had to fight for everything in life.

This was the emotion Gabe had been scared to name.

This? Gabe thought. He had been scared of _this?_ Of knowing he was cared for? Knowing that despite his own inadequacies… Dean _loved_ him?

Dean’s hands were brushing away his tears and his face was close, so close, and Dean was asking if he was okay, and all Gabe could do was kiss him and pull him in farther, hold him tight, communicate silently that he was _here_ — yes, Gabriel was here in this moment, and every moment after, for as long as Dean would have him.

It was slower now, but more desperate, more intense. Dean learned Gabriel made hiccuping sounds on bottom, like he was trying to gasp too fast and his own voice cut it off. Gabe learned Dean was strong — stronger than he realized, holding Gabriel up and still managing to push in and out of him. They moved easily, like instinct, like something intrinsic in them knew how to match rhythm, where to kiss, how to touch. It was effortless.

And instead of coming with each other’s _names_ on their lips, they came with each other on their lips.

—

Love.

What was love? He wanted to wake Dean up and ask him if love was a chemical reaction with a set beginning and a set end, or more like the universe, constantly feeling out in every direction, always there. He wondered what the Big Bang had been. Or if it had been anything at all.

He couldn’t say it. He didn’t know why.

He had never told someone he loved them. Not like that. Not like _this._ This… all-encompassing mess.

Did it even matter? Was it a big enough word to capture the way his heart seemed to blur when he thought about Dean? Could he _ever_ be sure?

This was Dean’s house. And Dean’s bed. And Dean’s shriveled up mushrooms that didn’t glow anymore.

Something about that closed Gabe’s eyes and made him wrap his arms tight around Dean’s sleeping form.

He kept them. He had _kept_ them. Even as they died and grew wrinkly and stopped glowing, Dean had kept them.

Dean grumbled in his sleep and snuggled tight into Gabe’s arms, breath hot across his chest. “Go t’ sleep,” he murmured.

And yeah, okay. Gabe could do that.

—

Dean woke up first.

Duh. Gabriel was a night owl with an allergy to being awake anytime the sun was out.

He blinked blearily and looked at the sleeping form beside him, heart thudding.

He looked… peaceful.

Dean memorized him just a moment longer before getting out of bed, his stomach insisting on breakfast.

He hadn’t gotten very far before he heard a pitiful, “Deeeeaaaannnnn.”

Dean laughed quietly went back to the bedroom, where Gabe had managed to throw off all the covers. “Hey,” Dean said quietly, holding back a laugh.

Gabe puckered his lips and made kissy noises, eyes still closed.

“What? You want a kiss?”

He nodded.

Dean chuckled and walked over to the bed, leaning down to plant a kiss on Gabriel’s lips.

Before he knew what had happened, he was on his back, Gabe huddled over him, nuzzling into his neck. “Hey,” Gabe purred sleepily.

“I’ve been bamboozled,” Dean accused.

Gabe ground against him lazily. “You could be more than bamboozled.”

“Nuh-uh. I need coffee and breakfast.”

“I’m a snack.”

“You’re a full meal, baby, but I need coffee or I’ll hate everyone and everything all day.”

“Boo,” Gabe mumbled, snuggling Dean harder. “Five more minutes.”

Dean flipped them and extracted himself. “No more minutes. I’m making coffee.” He left to the sounds of Gabriel’s protests.

By the time Gabe had stumbled into the kitchen, Dean was drinking coffee with a blanket wrapped around him, staring blearily out the window, a far cry from just a while ago.

“What’s for—“ Gabe started, but Dean held up a hand and pointed to his mug. “Ah. You’re one of the ‘coffee means no talkie’ guys. Got it.”

Gabe sat about preparing breakfast, occasionally sneaking a glance at Dean.

Hair all messed up, fuzzy blanket around his shoulders, grumpily drinking coffee…

He knew it then. Of all the times, in all the places it could’ve happened, it happened here. With a grumpy ass who refused to speak while he had coffee, in a cute blanket, in a kitchen. A single, stupid, _dumbass_ moment to render all his worry and anxiety and late nights pointless. Because here it was. Easy.

“I love you,” Gabe whispered under the sound of cooking bacon, and it felt… right.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno WHY they're being cute but I can't make it STOP

“Hold still,” Dean said, grinning.

“I’m _excited,_ okay?” Gabe grumbled, bouncing on his toes.

“Yeah well I can’t really get a clear photo of your tattoo if you’re _excited.”_

Gabe sighed and held as still as he could. “Just hurry and take the damn pic!”

“Oh fuck, wait, has this been on record the whole time…?” Dean said, faux-shocked.

“Motherfucker,” Gabe said, snatching the phone from him. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

“I _have_ an ass, yeah.”

Gabe gave it an absent-minded pat. “Yeah, you do.” He stopped the video and replayed it.

“I meant you but alright.”

Gabe pushed Dean’s grinning face away. “Ugh, I can’t read it with you shaking the camera like that!”

“You were cute! I was laughing! Sue me!”

He scowled and tossed the phone back to Dean. “Can you like… just draw it for me? You don’t have to be exact, just so I can read it.”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Get comfy and I’ll go get some paper and pencils.”

Gabe laid on his stomach on the couch, glancing around Dean’s living room. It was understandably nerdy. Not just in the science sense, but also just in the… pop culture sense. There was a record player in the corner, with a rather robust collection of vinyls arranged on a few shelves. There were books — mostly Vonnegut, Gabe noticed — under the records, and a few bits and bobbles. A small figurine of Jason Todd, a replica of the Mystery Machine, a cowboy hat.

The entertainment center was almost full of VHSs, which Gabe made a mental note to tease Dean about later. There were DVDs in a separate case off to the side, which looked like it saw _far_ less use.

And then, duh, there were science decorations and mildly-scientific decorations, like a rack of test tubes filled with each color of the rainbow, and a lava lamp lethargically churning away.

“You snooping?” Dean asked lightly, sitting down in a recliner catty-corner to the couch.

“Always.” Gabe heard the sound of pencil scratching against paper and resumed his perusing of Dean’s life. “So you’re a Vonnegut fan, huh?”

“Always have been. Something about the hopeful hopelessness.”

“Huh. I’m more of a Kerouac guy myself.”

Dean snorted. “Yeah, okay. That tracks.” He examined the curves of Gabe’s back. “I kind of hated _On the Road.”_

Gabe groaned. “Ugh. If you’ve only read _On the Road_ then you haven’t read Kerouac.”

“Then what do you suggest, o high and mighty book god?”

 _“Big Sur._ The perfect follow-up to _On the Road._ Or _Dharma Bums,_ but I kind of hated the wishy-washiness of that one. I’ve got copies of both you can borrow.”

“Fine, but if _I_ am reading fucking _Kerouac_ then you have to read something I recommend.”

Gabe waved a hand. “Rec away.”

Dean held up a finger and walked over to his bookshelf, browsing titles a moment before pulling a hardcover out. “Here. Right up your alley.”

 _“Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe,”_ Gabe read aloud, propped up on one elbow. “I’m glad that thinly-veiled ancient philosopher smut makes you think of me.”

“It’s not— Well, I _do_ have _The Song of Achilles_ but uh… no. Just trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Gabe mumbled, flipping the book open. “How long does it take you to draw a tattoo, Winchester?”

“Just start reading.”

“I pity your art teachers.”

Minutes passed in silence, which wasn’t something either was truly used to when not alone, but it felt… comfortable. Like they didn’t have to entertain each other. This was enough.

Dean couldn’t help his soft smile as Gabe chuckled at something he had read.

If he was honest with himself, he had been a bit worried. He was never good at relationships, and he wasn’t entirely sure what he was expected to do the _day after,_ if you caught his drift.

But sketching Gabriel as he read a book was… nice. The curves of Gabriel’s back were nice, too, in a purely aesthetic sense. Not that he would complain if Gabe wanted a rematch, just that… something about being allowed the peace and quiet to just observe Gabriel was sort of… _nice._

Gabe closed his book with a thud and turned over onto his side to look at Dean. “I finished the first chapter. Surely you have something to show as well.”

Dean tapped his pencil against the paper, thinking. “It’s not perfect.”

“As long as it’s legible, I don’t care.”

He reluctantly handed over the unfinished sketch, and Gabe’s lips quirked into a smile. “I thought you were just drawing my tattoo.”

“I… expanded.”

Gabe looked at the letters running down his spine and sighed. “Castiel is a very sappy creature.”

“What’s it say? I’m guessing it’s… Enochian, right?”

“Mmhm. It says— Well, it translates to uh… free.”

Dean watched the way Gabriel’s eyes looked just a bit shinier for a split second. “It fits,” Dean said.

“Yeah. I kind of love it.” He cleared his throat and waved the paper in the air. “I also kind of love this. How did I not know you’re an artist? I was expecting just the tattoo, maybe a stick figure at most.”

Dean shrugged. “Not something I really publicize. But I’m glad you like it.”

Gabe propped his head on his hand. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”

And Dean was fully aware that Gabe was joking, but he shrugged and grinned mischievously. “Let me go find my paints, then.”  
  
—

It turned out that Gabriel laying naked on Dean’s couch wasn’t so much inspiration fuel as it was just libido fuel, and they both lay on the ground, panting onto the other’s bare skin.

“So you uh—“ Dean caught his breath. “You weren’t kidding about the two week sex chamber thing huh.”

“Got a problem with it?”

“Nah.” Dean ran a hand through his own hair. “We’ll see who tires out first.”

“Mmm. Gonna be you.” Gabe sat up and glanced to the stairs. “Shower?”

“Do _not_ tell me your refractory period is _that_ short.”

He laughed. “I meant for entirely innocent reasons, Winchester.”

Dean looked at the ceiling. “I’m not sure I’ve ever showered with someone before.”

Gabe nudged him. “There’s a first time for everything. Besides, how difficult could it be?”

—

“Move your _ass, Winchester!”_

“Maybe I _could_ if _somebody_ would move theirs!”

“You are _hogging_ the _hot water!”_

“It’s _my_ shower!”

Gabe elbowed Dean, who was unfortunately slippery, and his elbow just slid right off of him, throwing him off balance. Dean tried to catch him, but was, again, slippery, and they both fell to the bottom of the tub.

Gabe poked his finger angrily up into Dean’s chest from his position on the cold ceramic. “This is your fault. No sane human uses that much soap.”

“Oh, _I’m_ sorry for wanting to be clean!”

“You know what? Apology accepted!”

Dean grit his teeth. “I think _you_ could use a second rinse.” Without warning, he turned the shower to cold and scrambled out of the tub.

 _“OH NO YOU DON’T!”_ Gabe yelled after him, catching him around the waist and pulling him back into the frigid water. They wrestled back and forth, each trying to push the other into the stream. Finally Dean managed to get an arm free and shut the whole thing off.

Gabe was out of the death trap before Dean could even wipe the water off his face. Dean rolled his eyes and followed him out, running his hands through his hair.

There were arms around his stomach and he paused. “Um.”

Gabe was pressed tight up against him. “Shut the fuck up. It’s cold, okay?”

Dean hesitantly grabbed a towel and wrapped them up in it, turning to hold Gabriel back. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“I should really take a shot every time you tell me that.”

They stood there for a while, long enough that they were mostly dry before Dean starting chuckling.

“What’s so damn funny?”

“Nothin’. I just like you is all.”

“Hmph,” Gabe humphed grumpily, before nuzzling slightly into Dean’s chest. “Maybe I like you, too.”

Dean kissed the top of his head, grinning. “You fought so hard to keep away from that cold water.”

“It was cold! Do I really need to explain myself?” Gabe scowled. “Wouldn’t have even _been_ cold if someone was playing fair.”

“Aw, c’mon Rosie. You know my only two modes are zero and a hundred.”

“…Yeah, that tracks.”

Dean lifted Gabe’s head up and gave him a gentle kiss, as if it wasn’t enough to make Gabriel forget his own name. “Kinda like fighting with you.”

“Yeah?” Gabe asked, almost _dreamily_ before scowling at himself. “Yeah. Well. Good. Because you’re stuck with me, buster.”

Dean laughed softly. “Hey, didn’t I promise to make you Winchester Surprise?”

“You did, yes.”

“You hungry?”

“Pretty much always.”

Dean rubbed the towel over Gabe’s hair, causing it to stick straight out every which way. “Then how’s about I make us supper, _you_ put on Dr. Sexy, and we can talk about how we’re pulling this whole _acting_ thing off.”

“…Alright look, I’m only gonna say this once so listen carefully.” Gabe booped Dean’s nose. “You’re wonderful.”

Dean smirked. “Thought I was an ass?”

“The two are not mutually exclusive. You are a wonderful ass. You _have_ a wonderful ass. You are the wonderfulest ass.”

“I should really get an award for that.”

“You may receive a single kiss.”

“From… you?” Dean asked, feigning ignorance.

“The one and only.”

“…Anywhere?”

Gabe licked his lips. “Obviously.”

“Awesome ‘cause I kinda bruised my elbow in the fall so—“ Dean held up his elbow, which was only the barest bit of red, and looked at Gabriel expectantly. “Kiss it.”

Gabe looked to the elbow, then to Dean. “Look you’re gonna have to start giving me some sort of _warning_ sign when you’re about to be cute, because these 360s are frying my brain.”

Dean grinned, then quickly schooled it. “I’d kiss it myself, only I can’t reach.” He stuck his tongue out towards his elbow, as if to illustrate his point.

“Oh, a travesty.” Gabe leaned in to kiss Dean’s elbow, but it was quickly exchanged for Dean’s lips, and he was kissing Dean before his brain had even processed the switch.

Dean pulled back and grinned. “Stole it.”

“Hey— give it back!” Gabe demanded, pulling Dean into another kiss by the back of his neck.

“Nope, that was a different one. Guess you’ll have to keep kissing me until you get it back.” Dean grinned against his mouth.

“I can do that,” Gabe mumbled, trying to pull Dean back in but only succeeding in kissing his neck.

“Supper. _Then_ we can Netflix and chill.”

“Or we could just chill. Right now.”

“Again? Thought you hated the cold water.”

Gabe groaned dramatically. “Damn you and your puns. Very well. Make us supper while I gawk over that handsome devil on the television screen.”

Dean let Gabe go and laughed. “Man after my own heart,” he teased.

“After it?” He tutted and shook his head. “Oh, Byron. I already have it.”

There was something soft in Dean’s eyes, something unexpected. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a doodle


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws the fluff at you guys* eat up

Gabriel yawned and cocked open one eye, glaring at Dean’s phone. His fucking _landline._ Who the hell still had a landline? _Samantha_ was across the tiny caller ID, and he shook his head and answered, Dean burrowing further against his back.

“‘Llo?” Gabe mumbled.

“Your lack of calling means things are going good, right? I don’t need to come down there and beat up your boyfriend?”

Gabe snorted. “Think you’ve got the wrong gal here.”

There was a moment, then, “Gabriel?”

“The one and only.”

“Damn, you sounded just like Dean does when he just wakes up.”

“You’re calling on a _landline._ Which I’m sure doesn’t exactly have the best quality.”

“Granted. So…?”

“Hm? Oh, right. Nah, Dean scared the shit out of me and I accidentally murdered him, so now I’m transferring the deed to his house into my name, the evidence of which I shall only keep on a vinyl made out of his ashes.”

“Elaborate. Has he been making you marathon Scooby Doo?”

“No, but I _absolutely_ can see the influence in a few episodes of Dr. Sexy. The eighth season, especially.”

“Yeah. Dean started working there on the seventh season, and by that point they sorta gave him more slack with the editing process. If you can pick out all the Vonnegut references you’ll get a gold star. I think there’s even a red pill, blue pill thing going on with Nancy’s hallucinations of the ghost of her dead husband but that’s sort of more fan theory than anything. Dean refuses to confirm it for me.”

“That ass.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I keep asking him if people get together and who dies and blah blah blah, but he refuses to give me spoilers. It’s frustrating as hell.”

“Oof. If you ever make him mad, he’ll send spoilers on purpose.”

“…Wow, I’m kind of jealous. You get spoilers, I get to be an ant at a science fair.”

“It’s how he shows his love.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Gabe could hear Dean snoring softly behind him. “But regardless, we’re almost done with the show. Then we can get to practicing acting or whatever.”

“Acting?”

Gabe paused. “Yes? For the… show?”

“Your YouTube show?”

“I—“ Gabe groaned. “Oh my god. He forgot to tell you, didn’t he. Fuck. I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

Gabe pushed at Dean’s shoulder, and Dean grumbled, swatting at his hand. “Dean. _Dean._ Wake up.”

“Nn,” Dean said sleepily, holding Gabriel tighter.

“Dean. You gotta tell Sam about the thing.”

“Th’ thin’,” Dean repeated before pushing his cold nose into Gabe’s back.

“Oh for fuck’s— Do you want me to tell him? About the thing and the show and the us?”

Dean sighed and fumbled for the phone, eyes still shut. “Gimme.”

Gabe handed Dean the phone who, after a few tries, managed to get it to his face.

“Sam,” Dean mumbled.

“Dean,” Sam said back, slightly amused.

“Shhhh, shush,” Dean shushed him sleepily. “Gabe an’ I were cast for th’ next season of _Dr. Sexy.”_

 ** _“WHAT?!”_** came three voices at once.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows and sat up straight, looking out the slightly-open, second-story window. “Um.”

Gabe was at the window before Dean could even get out of bed, looking down to see Cas and Charlie in their front yard, mouths open and looking right back at him.

Cas threw his hands out, offended. “You didn’t _TELL US?!”_

Gabe rubbed his eyes against the sunlight. “Do you two have exceptional hearing or is the line tapped?”

“You’re avoiding the subject!”

Gabe grunted. “Y’all should probably be glad I only opened the window last night then. You could’ve been scarred forever.”

_“You’re going to be in Dr. Sexy?!”_

Gabe cupped his hands around his mouth, yelled, “YES.” and shut the window on their freakout.

Dean wasn’t faring much better, holding the receiver away from his ear as now both Sam and Jess babbled on excitedly.

Gabe watched him in amusement and Dean met his eyes and shook his head, smiling. ‘Save me,’ he mouthed.

Gabe grabbed the phone. “Hey we’re gonna go fuck now so we’ll just call you back later,” he said quickly before hanging up the line.

Dean laughed loudly, laying back on the nest of blankets and pillows they had wound up in. “Oh god I hope you weren’t serious. I’m so fucking sore.”

Gabe wiggled his eyebrows, earning himself a snort and a shove.

“Get off me you psycho. It’s coffee time.”

Gabe tapped his chin in thought. “Hmm, I wonder how long I could keep you from getting to your coffee.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t even try.”

—

Gabe held tightly to Dean’s midriff as Dean tried to get through the doorway. Gabe’s heels were pushed firmly against the door jamb.

Dean reached out fruitlessly. “Let! Me! Through!”

“No!” Gabe held on tighter, grinning at Dean’s struggle.

Dean sighed and brought his hands back to wedge between them. “You asked for this.” He slid his hands down Gabriel’s stomach, into his boxers.

Gabe’s grip loosened in surprise and Dean _dashed_ out the door, arms in the air.

“Take _that_ you wild animal!” Dean cheered, running down the stairs.

Gabriel shook his head to clear it before chasing after him. “I’ve been BETRAYED!”

Dean was frantically pouring coffee grounds into a filter when Gabriel tackled him to the ground. “Fuck!”

“No! No coffee! I am cruel and unforgiving!”

“Yes coffee! Or I will hate you and everyone else all day!”

Gabe grinned at him. “You could never hate me.”

Dean pouted but had no real argument against that. “Me. Coffee. Now.”

“It’s a toll bridge. You gotta pay the toll.”

“More like a _troll_ bridge,” Dean grumbled.

“The toll has doubled,” Gabe informed him dryly. “Four kisses.”

Dean held up one finger. _“One_ kiss and I make you a cup too.”

“Hmmm. Alright, but your debt will be remembered.” Gabe leaned down and kissed Dean gently, and it was such a small thing that still made his heart jump.

He toyed with it, then. The concept of just… telling Dean that he loved him. Just. There, on the kitchen floor, just saying _hey asshole, I love you_ and to hell with the consequences.

But Dean pushed him over and quickly turned on the coffee maker. “How do you like your coffee?” he asked.

“If I can taste the coffee, it’s no good,” Gabe responded, watching the way Dean moved.

He was wrong, about being done falling. He had thought that once he hit _love,_ that there was nothing farther down. He would be done.

But watching Dean hum classic rock to himself as he set about pouring hot cocoa mix into a coffee mug, swaying to his own beat in his boxers, Gabriel realized that there was a _lot_ farther down than love, and if he had to resign himself to a life of falling forever, then so be it.

“Ol hoath ca ge,” Gabe informed him softly.

Dean glanced at him in interest, handing him his “”””coffee””””. “What’s that mean? Did you curse my bloodline or something?”

“Literally? It means I’m an adorer of you.”

Dean snorted, hiding his blushing face behind his own coffee mug. “Glad to know you’re my number one fan. Now it’s coffee time. No talking.”

Gabe nodded to himself as Dean took a sip of his own black coffee, sighing contentedly. Gabriel took in a deep breath to steel himself, because the world was chaos and life was not guaranteed, and though he didn’t necessarily _mind_ eventually being plant food, his broken-up atoms could not say the words he wanted to say right now. “I love you,” Gabe told Dean very seriously from his place still cross-legged on the floor.

Dean grunted in acknowledgement, then froze, golden brown eyes meeting startled green.

They stared at each other a moment, before Dean opened his mouth to say something.

Gabe held up a hand instead, grinning nervously. “Hey. No talking.”

“I—“

“Coffee. No talkie.”

Dean’s eyes never wavered from Gabriel’s. He nodded as if in confirmation, then sat down beside Gabe. They leaned back against the wall, both looking out the front window instead of at each other.

Though his stomach suddenly felt like it was in knots, Gabriel still brought his coffee to his lips, only to have Dean take it from him. “Hey—“

“No talkie,” Dean mumbled before pulling him in and kissing him hard.

The restlessness that had burrowed into Gabriel’s veins calmed slightly, enough for him to kiss Dean back as if it were ever going to be anything but incredible.

Dean pulled back far too soon but a long time later and silently handed Gabriel his coffee back. Gabe reached for it, but Dean held it out of his reach and shook his head, gesturing to his other hand.

Gabe raised an eyebrow and grabbed the coffee with his far hand instead, taking a suspicious sip.

Dean did the same, easily lacing their free hands together.

And it was easy, drinking coffee silently, holding hands and watching the clouds roll by outside.

There was a dumb song stuck in Gabriel’s head at the thought, and he briefly wondered if humming was against the talking rules. Then he decided he didn’t actually care, and he hummed “Easy” softly.

It was a song he had always hated. _Easy like Sunday morning._ Sunday mornings had never been easy for him. In fact, they were the hardest mornings he had ever had. Sunday mornings were for funerals and church services.

He glanced over at Dean and saw him with his head leaned back, eyes closed, and smiling.

Maybe this was what a Sunday morning was supposed to be.

—

“You almost done with those mimosas?” Dean called out from the back porch.

Gabriel placed all the glasses on a tray and balanced them as he walked outside. “Yeah, yeah I got ‘em. You got the tunes?”

“Always.”

“Not always. You’ve really been slacking these past few weeks. Months. Whatever.”

Dean laughed, flipping a burger. “In my defense, I was distracted.”

“I suppose that’s true. I am very distracting.” Gabe bumped his hip against Dean’s as he sat the drinks down. “Shall I go retrieve our company?”

Dean shook his head. “Nah. They’ll come outside when we start the music.”

“Just like old times, huh?” Gabe teased.

“Mmm, almost. You go to your yard and threaten to beat me to a pulp. _Then_ it’ll be like old times.”

Gabe pulled him in, chest to chest, grinning. “I’m sure I could beat _something…”_

“Temptress,” Dean accused, grinning back. “Go pick out a playlist. Let me cook.”

“Spoilsport.” Gabe sat back in a lawn chair and scrolled through Dean’s music. “I’m glad you have such a broad spectrum of music to pick from, including but not limited to: literally only classic rock.”

“That’s not true. There’s some Italian pop on there.”

“I actually already deleted it, so no. There’s not.”

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Pick whatever you want. Dealer’s choice.”

“I’m feeling very soft right now, so how about—“ Gentle guitar filled the air. “Jack Johnson.”

“I guess I can live with that.”

Gabe sipped at his mimosa as Dean finished off the burgers, both patiently waiting.

It wasn’t too long before Cas and Charlie were outside, leaning against the fence.

“Howdy, neighbors,” Charlie called out above the music. “How goes it? Haven’t seen you two in— a while.”

Dean waved at them with his spatula. “Come on over. I’m making us burgers, and Gabe made drinks.”

Castiel’s grin was blinding as they both easily hopped the fence into Dean’s backyard. “It has been a long time since I’ve been over here,” Cas noted absently.

Gabe waved. “Yeah, it’s pretty great when _someone_ isn’t refusing contact for no good reason.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Sure would be a shame if I dropped your burger on the ground.”

“Sure would be a shame if I poured your mimosa out.”

“Ah, so nothing’s changed,” Charlie said, sitting beside Gabe.

“Course not,” Gabe responded, handing her a drink. “We’re still enemies, right, Dean?”

“Oh, worst enemies. Probably even worse than before, I reckon.”

“See?” Gabe said. “He reckons.”

Charlie nodded solemnly as Cas laughed. “The music is decidedly calmer this time around as well. Don’t tell me Gabrosie is making you soft,” Cas teased Dean lightly.

Dean motioned to Gabe. “Hey, the music was all him.”

Cas looked to Gabriel, amused. “Am I to believe you played my favorite musician just to be nice?”

Gabe looked offended. “Hey! I can be nice sometimes!”

Dean cast a glance their way. “Jack Johnson is your favorite?”

Castiel took a mimosa slyly, sitting directly on top of Gabriel. “Yes. It’s very soothing music.”

“Get off,” Gabe grumbled, trying and failing to push Cas away.

Castiel staunchly ignored him. “I don’t have a great many memories of our mother, I’m afraid. But I do remember that she and our father would often dance together to these songs late at night. After Mom passed, and before Dad became desperate for comfort, I would sometimes find him playing the same songs late at night. And sometimes we would dance to them, like they had.” Cas leaned back, further smushing Gabe. “After Dad passed, every Father’s Day, I would dance to their songs with Gabriel.”

“I can’t breathe,” Gabe told him plainly, obviously very able to breathe.

“It was rather a let-down when we couldn’t keep with tradition this year. Gabriel is an alright dancer.” Cas finished his mimosa and stole Gabe’s. “But he hates Father’s Day, I think.”

“That’s because you _insist_ on calling me ‘dad’ all day!”

Cas finally acknowledged him with a glance. “Legally, you are.”

“I don’t _like_ it.”

“Yes well, I do. One day out of the year isn’t going to kill you.”

“Technically, eventually, one of them will.” Gabe finally pushed Cas off of him, standing up and brushing himself off. He held out a hand, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Cas accepted the help to his feet, but furrowed his brow when Gabe kept pulling him out into the yard. “Where are we going?”

“You get one night. That’s it this year.” He pulled Dean’s phone out of his pocket and changed the song.

“One night?”

Gabe pulled Castiel easily into him, one arm around his waist and the other leading their hands outward. “You get a Father’s Night. One dance. Take it or leave it.”

Understanding dawned on Castiel’s face, and his smile was bright and wonderful and something Gabriel would tear an entire solar system down to keep on his face. “I’ll take it, Dad.”

_There’s no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard_

_No song that I could sing, but I can try for your heart._

_Our dreams, and they are made out of real things_

_Like a shoebox of photographs_

_With sepia-toned loving._

Charlie and Dean watched them dance, both smiling softly.

“They’re pretty great,” Charlie said. “Probably the best friends I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah,” Dean agreed softly. “I’m— I’m desperately in love with him.”

Charlie snorted. “Better not tell Gabe. He might get jealous.”

Dean smacked her arm gently. “I’m in love with _Gabriel,_ you dick.”

She grinned at him. “Have you told him yet?”

“No I— I think this is the first time I’m even telling myself.” He looked back out to the two men, now giggling and making up what was _almost_ a waltz. “I think he knows.”

“Are you sure?”

_Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together._

_We’re somewhere in between together._

“I—“ Dean watched Gabe dance with Castiel, watched him throw back his head and laugh, watched him throw a smile Dean’s way.

He physically jerked, his drink sloshing onto his hand as he realized Gabriel might _not_ know. He might not _know_ how beautiful he looked or how wonderful he was or how Dean would not hesitate to walk to the ends of the universe for him.

That shook Dean to his core. Gabriel needed to know. Gabriel _needed_ to know that he was loved.

He steeled himself, because he had never said it before, not like this, and called out, “I love you.”

Gabriel gave him a quizzical look, motioning to the speaker still playing music loudly.

“I love you,” Dean repeated, more confident this time.

Gabe pointed to his ear and shrugged, turning back to Cas to spin him around.

And no, no, Gabe could not go one more _second_ without knowing that what Dean had once considered the broken parts of himself were actually just a bit warped, and they fit so snugly in Gabriel’s own warps that it was hard to believe that they were not once part of the same mountain, the same tree, the same bits of matter that had exploded outward and created Everything, that they had been a single Thing once, long before their atoms arranged themselves into humans. Gabriel _had_ to know. And he had to know right now.

Well, he had to know right when this song was over.

Charlie watched Dean run onto the sidewalk, down two houses and back, megaphone gripped tight in his hand. She had the speed to pull out her camera and hit record just as the song ended, just as Dean turned the thing on and let the entire street hear him when he said, “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, GABRIEL SHURLEY!”

There was silence as Gabriel stared at Dean with a sort of wild-eyed wonder, and Dean wondered if he had been clear enough.

“I LOVE YOU,” he repeated through the megaphone. “YOU JUST. NEED TO KNOW THAT. I LOVE YOU.”

Gabriel smiled, then grinned, then full-on laughed. “I’M DANCING LIKE A GODDAMN CHICKEN, AND YOU CHOSE _NOW_ TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME?” Gabe yelled back.

“I ALREADY SAID I LOVE YOU. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP CONVINCING ME,” Dean megaphoned back, grinning.

“DOES THAT MAKE YOU MY FATHER AS WELL?” Castiel yelled to Dean, earning himself hysterical laughter from Gabriel.

“HEY DAD,” Charlie yelled. “I THINK YOUR BURGERS ARE BURNING.”

Dean yelled, “FUCK” and dropped the megaphone, running to his grill. He was captured before he got there, wrapped up in Gabriel’s arms. “Gabe! The burgers!”

Gabriel giggled. “That was very sweet of you and made me very happy.”

_“The burgers!”_

He leaned up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips to Dean’s ear, breathing out, “I can show you how happy it made me later.”

_“The! Burgers!!!”_

Gabriel released Dean, laughing to himself as Dean frantically turned the grill off.

“They’re. Save-able. They’re save-able,” Dean reassured himself, looking to the slightly-charred burgers. He turned around to face Gabe, glaring. “Fuck you.”

“Thought you loved me?” Gabe teased.

“I do,” Dean agreed, stalking over to him. “You were over there being _adorable_ and got me distracted, and the burgers burnt. Therefore, this is on you. So. Fuck you.” He grabbed Gabriel’s face and kissed him, even as Gabriel laughed.

“Is that a promise?”

“I hope you know how goddamn amazing you are.”

Gabe pushed Dean away, eyes sparkling. “I’m starting to get an idea.”

“Hey!” Charlie called out. “Stop being sickeningly adorable! There’s a crisis here!”

Gabe winked at Dean. “How’s about you and I explore our newfound love in your bedroom later?”

“I’d be okay with that,” Dean rumbled, smirking.

“Is it the _second_ knob or—?” Cas’s voice rang out, finally making Dean spin around.

“Hey! Hands off the grill! She is a _lady!”_

Gabe watched them, shaking his head and smiling, letting the night hide the few happy, relieved, overwhelmed tears that had snaked down his cheeks.

Dean loved him.

Dean loved him.

Dean loved him.

It pounded against his ribcage, and he felt… not exactly whole, but a whole lot less broken than he was used to.

Dean smiled at him, and Gabe felt his future lay itself out before him.

And it looked a hell of a lot like Dean.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I AM *~TIRED~*  
> (actually they were just dicks who didn't want to give me any inspiration until literally today)

Castiel squinted up at the car that had just pulled up, then waved broadly. “Hello!” he called out.

The car parked in front of Dean’s house, and two adults and one baby got out. Sam waved back to Cas, smiling wide. “Good to see you again!” Sam yelled back. “It’s been too long!”

Jess waved at him, too. “Hey, Cas!” She took Posie’s hand and waved it.

Castiel grinned broadly, standing up to walk over to them. “Oh, she’s even smaller in person. Hello, small human.”

Posie babbled at him and waved her arms.

“Yes, yes I agree,” Cas told her conversationally. He looked back to Sam and Jess. “If you’re intending to enter that house—“ he pointed to Dean’s house, “please do knock first. Maybe also call. You only have to make that mistake once.”

Sam nodded in a way that meant he had also been through that traumatizing experience. “What? Did he kiss you again?” he teased, earning himself a scowl.

“Your brother has too much confidence. If you ever need someone to knock him down a peg or two, let me know.”

Sam smirked. “I might. Thanks for the heads-up. We’ll stop by to see you and Charlie later today.”

“Ah, wonderful. She should be awake around dusk or so.”

Jess laughed. “Sounds perfect. We’ll see you then.”

Cas nodded to them and retreated to his lawn chair once more.

Jess elbowed Sam as they headed to the door. “You _did_ call, right? He knows we’re coming today?”

“I called him when we left, so… yeah. He knows.” Sam knocked on the door. “I also texted him when we were an hour away. We’re fine.”

“Did he actually _respond_ to the message?”

“Well, no, but—“ The door swung open to a rather startled Gabriel.

“Sam? Jess?”

They grinned at him. “Good to see you have clothes on,” Jess teased.

“Of course I do.” Gabe’s eyes fell on Posie and his entire face lit up. “Oh, hello!”

Posie gave him a toothless grin and his eyes sparkled.

“What a small person! What a teensy baby! Your fingers are the size of caterpillars!” He was crouched slightly to be level with Posie in Jess’s arms.

Jess couldn’t help her grin.

Gabriel was smiling widely, with a lot more innocent joy than either had ever seen on his face. “There are no thoughts in your head, are there? Just elevator music! All hours of the day! Everything is so strange and exciting! You don’t even know what I’m saying!”

Posie gurgled and smiled, and Jess deposited her into Gabriel’s arms. “We’ll have to get her new clothes soon. She’s growing like a weed. I keep seeing these cute little baby dresses on Etsy and I have to like, physically stop myself from buying them.”

Gabe held her up, facing him. “Noooo, is that true? Little Posie? Growing? No, you’re gonna stay this size _forever.”_ He nuzzled her nose with his and she giggled.

Jess smirked. “Her Uncle Gabe sure is taken with her, I see.”

Gabriel firmly ignored her. “Why not just use some of Sam’s old baby clothes if you have them?”

Sam snorted, eyebrow raised. “I don’t have any cute baby dresses.”

Gabe shrugged one shoulder. “Meh. I wouldn’t have kept them, either.” Posie grabbed his fingers with her little fist and he smiled wide. “Yeah, isn’t that right, Posie? Yeah, we _destroy_ the things from our old lives. Can you say destroy? Deeeestrooooyyy.”

“I mean, I _never_ had any dresses. Because. Ya know. I was a boy, and to Mom and Dad that meant blue clothes and trucks.” Sam watched them with fondness in his eyes. “We can teach her better.”

Gabe froze in the middle of blowing a raspberry onto Posie’s cheek. “Oh my god I thought you were trans.”

Jessica laughed as Sam’s face turned red. “I uh— no, no I am not uh, I’m not trans. I mean, I _fully_ support trans people but uh. Boy all my life. Why uh… Why did you…?”

“Dean always talked about little Samantha! I just sorta assumed!” Gabe winced. “I mean, I _absolutely_ elbowed him every time he said Samantha because I thought he was dead naming you, but also like, you two have a really good relationship so I’m sure if it actually bothered you you would’ve said something to him, but I um— yeah, I— my uh, my bad.”

Sam rolled his eyes, and Gabriel instantly recognized the Bitch Face he had heard about. “Kindly tell me where Dean is. I want to have a word with him.”

Gabe was back to showering Posie with attention, previous conversation almost completely forgotten. “He’s in the bedroom, knock yourself out.” He puffed his cheeks full of air and crossed his eyes, earning a hysterical laugh from the baby.

Sam shouldered gently past him as Jess watched Gabe with something curious in her eyes. “So,” she said after Sam had gone. “You… really like kids, huh?”

Gabe bounced Posie gently. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. I used to take care of all the kids at the— church.” His eyes slid off to the side. “It was the only part I actually liked.”

“You seem pretty good at it.” She bit her lip in thought. “Dean… also likes kids.”

“Yeah, I got that impression,” Gabe said, shaking his head and smiling.

“Are you two gonna…?”

“Gonna?” Gabe repeated, attention only half on the conversation at hand.

“Adopt?”

Gabe froze, smile still on his lips. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, and finally just said, “Did I send Sam to the bedroom?”

“I uh— yes?”

“Fuck,” he said resolutely, handing over Posie calmly before running back inside, yelling, _“Sam!”_

He almost ran directly into him, closing the bedroom door with a dead expression on his face.

“Yeah, okay, I get it, you’re the worst,” Sam grumbled before going downstairs.

Gabe sighed and retreated into the bedroom, fist to his own lips. “I kinda fucked up.”

“Oh, _YOU THINK?!”_ Dean tugged furiously at the handcuffs. “Let me go!”

“No, no, that won’t solve anything,” Gabe said distractedly. He looked out the window in thought.

“It’ll keep you from getting quite as bad of an ass-whooping!”

Gabe waved his hand absently. “You have boxers on. Sam’ll live.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me. Oh, they’re going to Cassie’s.”

“Good. Now _let me go.”_

Gabe turned to him, smirking. “Why? We have time.”

Dean groaned and leaned his head back. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Gabe straddled him and kissed him gently. “Maybe just the small one.”

—

 ** _[Samantha] 2:22pm_ ** _is it safe to come over now_

 ** _[Jerk] 2:24pm_ ** _yeah uh… sorry_

 ** _[Samantha] 2:24pm_ ** _please literally never mention it again_

Dean opened the door this time, grin forced. “Hey guys!”

Sam smacked him in the head. “Stop calling me Samantha. Lock your doors. It’s good to see you happy.”

Dean cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah. Got it. Hurry up and get inside so the cat doesn’t get out.”

Sam and Jess both balked. “The _what?”_

Gabe grinned wide at them from further in the house. “We found a stray! We’re keeping him here until we can find a better home for him.”

Jess closed the door behind them and looked back and forth between Dean and Gabe. “You. Have a cat. In your house.”

Gabe’s smile faltered. “Wait, are either of you allergic? We can put him up.”

Sam laughed, actually laughed out loud. “Oh god. Dean. You didn’t.”

Dean gave him a very angry warning look. “Shut up, _Samantha.”_

Jess shook her head, chuckling herself. “Oh my god, Dean. When you said you were in _love_ with him, I didn’t know you were already _that_ in love with him.”

Dean fumed at them as Gabe looked between everyone. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

Sam slung an arm around Dean. “This guy right here is allergic to cats.”

Gabe met Dean’s eyes in shock. “What?”

Dean groaned and shoved Sam off of him. “It’s fine! You were so sad about him and it made you so happy to bring him in and if I take a Benadryl every morning then my throat doesn’t even itch _that_ much and—“

“Dean.”

Dean looked to Gabriel’s face, expecting anger but only seeing some deep emotion. “Yeah?”

“I… don’t deserve you.” He cleared his throat abruptly and clapped his hands. “Well anyway! Who’s ready for lunch?”

Jess and Sam exchanged looks. “Well see… Cas already fed us.”

Gabe groaned. “Damn kid brother, being hospitable and nice.” He crossed his arms. “Dean and I are gonna have lunch, then, and you’re free to join us. Right after I put the cat up.”

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait, you don’t have to—“

“Babe. You did that for me, I’m gonna do this for you.”

Sam turned to Dean. “You need to marry him. Like. Yesterday.”

Dean rolled his eyes and picked up some of their bags. “C’mon. I’ll help you carry your stuff to the guest room.”

“I mean it,” Sam continued, following him up the stairs. “I can legally marry people if I want. You two could get married _today.”_

“Oh, how romantic,” Dean deadpanned, tossing Sam and Jess’s bags unceremoniously on the bed. “There’s a playpen in the closet.”

“Are you _going_ to marry him?” Jess teased lightly.

Dean gave her an unamused look. “It’s been three weeks since I got back here.”

“That’s not quite what I asked, is it?”

Dean took Posie from her. “C’mon, Posie. We’re leaving these traitors.”

“I didn’t hear a no!”

Dean closed the door behind him.

—

It was far too early to be thinking about these things.

Dean was dancing with Posie in the kitchen. Or well, Dean was swaying back and forth with Posie in his arms, complimenting her on her dancing skills as Gabe diced some onions for sautéing.

God… did Gabe _want_ kids?

He forced his own head down to look at the cutting board, firmly ignoring Dean. Because they hadn’t even been dating a _month_ yet. And it wasn’t even his fault! _Jessica_ was the one who unhelpfully got the thought stuck in his brain!

Maybe he just wanted to… talk about it. He did _not_ want kids right this moment thank you very much. Maybe he didn’t want kids at all, because the world sucked and he was not fit to raise a _plant,_ let alone a child.

Because what could he even _tell_ a kid when they were scared, or asked big questions? It was _easy_ with Cas. Cas wanted the facts. He didn’t want squishy words or ‘you’ll understand when you’re older’. He had always understood Cas.

But kids? Kids were scary, because they needed you for _everything,_ and Gabe couldn’t provide that. To anyone.

“Gabe,” Dean said, bumping him with his hip. “You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve just been staring at that knife for a concerningly long time.”

“Oh, I was planning on murdering you.” Gabe sighed and leaned back against the counter. “I’m just thinking.”

“Can I think with you?”

Gabe made a _go ahead_ gesture. “I think your sister just got in my head.”

“Yeah, Samantha can be like that.” Dean’s lips quirked into a smile. “Heard you thought he was trans.”

“That’s your own damn fault. And I meant Jess.”

Dean shrugged one shoulder, causing Posie to giggle. “She can also be like that. If it helps any, she asked me the same thing.”

Gabe raised his eyebrows. “Oh. Yeah, actually, that does help.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “What did you tell her?”

“I firmly ignored her.”

“Ah, same.” Gabe crossed his arms. “So uh… what would you have said if _I_ had asked you?”

Dean froze, and Posie took the opportunity to stick her hand in his half-open mouth. He made some disgusted noise and tilted his head out of her reach, holding her at arm’s length. “You take her. She’s getting too comfy with me.”

Gabe took her easily, watching Dean’s every movement.

Dean ran a hand through his hair and looked around the kitchen. “I— right now?”

“Yeah. If I asked you right now, what would you say?”

“I mean— the kitchen isn’t the _best_ place to do that, is it?”

Posie rested her head against Gabe’s chest easily, eyes closed. “Is there somewhere specific I’m _supposed_ to be asking?”

“I dunno, you just usually don’t ask in a kitchen.” Dean winced at himself. “But I guess it doesn’t really matter?”

“You’re kinda freaking out on me.”

“I’m not freaking out! It’s just— sudden?”

Gabe’s eyes were wide and concerned. “It was just hypothetical.”

“Oh.” Dean’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh, uh— duh. Okay, duh. I—“ He looked at Gabe, holding a napping Posie and wearing Dean’s shirt and pajama pants. “Probably. Yes.”

Gabe’s face was unreadable. “You think we’d be… ready for that?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Huh.” Gabe looked at Posie, and something in his face softened. “I’m just so scared I’d be a bad father,” Gabe whispered.

Dean paled. “I mean, you don’t _have_ to be a father.”

Gabe furrowed his brow a moment before letting out a relieved sigh. “You’re right. I could just be a mother, huh? Like, nothing’s stopping me.”

Dean put his fist against his own lips in concerned thought. “Mmhm. So uh. Marriage and kids go hand in hand for you, huh?”

Gabe’s face _snapped_ up. “Who the _fuck_ said anything about _marriage?”_

“…You… did?”

“No I didn’t?”

Dean held up a hand. “Hold on. What _exactly_ did Jess ask you?”

Gabe looked at him in worry. “She… asked me if we were going to adopt eventually?” He squinted. “What did she ask _you?”_

“I-if I was going to marry you.”

Gabe grinned slightly. “That would explain it.”

“Jesus _fuck_ no we are not ready for kids.”

Gabe laughed. “Hold on. Hold on. _You_ thought I was proposing in your goddamn _kitchen_ and you still would have _probably_ said yes?”

Dean’s face was beyond red. “Well _you_ thought we were ready for _kids?_ Are you out of your fucking _mind?”_

Gabe groaned. “God no. Just. Eventually. Maybe.”

“Eventually maybe kids,” Dean repeated back to him like he was insane. “We _blew_ a _hole_ in Castiel’s land.”

Gabe grimaced. “I mean. Our dads did worse.”

“Our dads—“ Dean ran a hand over his face, letting the sentence fall away. “Do you _eventually_ ** _maybe_** want kids?”

Gabe shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you?”

“I… I don’t know.” Dean looked to Posie, fast asleep. “I used to.”

Gabriel frowned slightly. “I used to, too.” He met Dean’s eyes in an emotion Dean could pinpoint back to that night, with the exchanged trauma, the stars, the promises. _Vulnerable._ “Do you think… if we didn’t have our pasts, we would be good parents?”

Dean half-laughed, looking out the kitchen window. “I think you’re already a good parent, Gabe.”

Gabe looked absolutely stricken. “You’re… not too bad yourself.”

Dean pulled him close, careful not to disturb Posie. “Look. I’ll tell you what. Let’s come back to this in a year, and then maybe we’ll know.”

Gabe leaned his forehead against Dean’s shoulder. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” He pulled back to smirk at Dean. “Good to know you’re _entirely down_ to marry me _right this very moment,_ but kids? That’s gotta wait a year to even _talk_ about.”

“Get fucked,” Dean grumbled, pushing his face away.

Gabe laughed. “Don’t worry, Byron. When I propose, it’ll be something that could satisfy even _your_ hopelessly romantic heart.”

“I’m not a hopeless romantic!” Dean protested, which sounded like a lie even to his own ears.

Gabe passed the sleeping Posie back to him and deposited the onions in the pan. “Sure you’re not.”

“I’m not!”

“Oh, so you _don’t_ still have shriveled up mushrooms on the bedside table?”

“I— That’s unrelated!”

Gabe laughed and shook his head. “Oh, how I love you.”

Dean scowled and looked out the window, before turning back to Gabe. “Wait, _when?”_

“When what?”

“You said _when_ you propose.”

“Huh, did I? How interesting,” Gabe mumbled, not paying attention at all. “Can you grab the vegetables out of the fridge?”

Dean poked him in the chest. “You’re not proposing. _I’m_ proposing.”

Gabe blinked at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Right now? I accept.”

“What? No, I—“ He saw the shit-eating grin on Gabe’s face. “I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“I love you,” Dean conceded.

“Now get the damn vegetables.”


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [slides this over to y'all] this one is a long chapter and I don't apologize

Sam woke up with a weird feeling in his throat.

Not like a _sick_ weird feeling, but more like… like he had a nightmare he had forgotten, like it was right on the edges of his vision and he couldn’t see it. He turned over and held Jess close, groggily seeking out comfort.

It had been a while since he had a nightmare. He used to get them all the time.

Sam sighed quietly and kissed Jessica’s forehead when it became obvious he wasn’t getting back to sleep any time soon. He slipped out of bed, past the pop-up crib, and to the kitchen to make coffee.

He found a pot already on, with Dean a few cups in.

Dean’s eyes flicked to his, dark-circled. “Hey,” he said softly, which startled the hell out of Sam.

Sam grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and filled it up. “Since when do you talk with coffee?”

He shrugged, looking entirely worn out as he took another sip. “Did you have nightmares too?” Dean asked quietly.

Sam nodded and sat beside him, warm mug to his lips. “I think so. I can’t remember them. Feels like it, though.”

“Been a while.”

“Yeah.”

They drank coffee together in relative silence, watching as the sun rose out the window. There was something harsh in the air, something that pressed in on them from all sides. Waiting.

Hours passed by, and a few more pots were brewed before any sorts of stirring happened in the rest of the house.

As it was, the stirring happened to be Gabriel, coming down the stairs slower than usual.

He stopped at the bottom. They could both _hear_ him stop there, take a hesitant step, and stop again.

Dean closed his eyes.

Gabe wanted to ask if everything was okay, but the morning was quiet, and Dean had coffee. So he just set about making breakfast, occasionally glancing in at the two brothers staring dead-eyed out the window.

Jess was up not too long after him, Posie still sleeping soundly in her crib. She yawned in the kitchen and set about stealing bits of food Gabe cooked. Their eyes met once, and Gabe gave her a questioning look, and she responded by mouthing, _Later._

Breakfast was quiet.

When Sam and Dean sat in the living room, both pretending to read, Jess motioned to Gabe to follow her outside.

It was warm outside, which should have been obvious, but neither had realized the inherent _cold_ in Dean’s house until the sun shone on their faces. The curtains had not been opened.

They began walking, down the street, maybe to the forest. Wherever the talk led them.

“What’s happening in there?” Gabe finally asked, hands in his pockets.

Jess grimaced slightly, pushing her hair out of her face. “You never got to meet John, did you?”

“No,” Gabe said, rather surprised. “Did you?”

“A few times, yeah,” she confirmed, eyes forward. “After a while, they do allow _some_ non-family visitors at the maximum security prisons. I didn’t meet him more than a handful of times, though. He always seemed—“ she sighed. “It’s gonna sound insensitive, but he always seemed… nice.”

“Nice,” Gabe deadpanned back to her.

“Don’t get me wrong; I know he wasn’t _always_ nice. Obviously. But I think prison sort of… did his mind good?” She shook her head. “I’m pretty sure he always blamed himself for Mary’s death, and prison sort of functioned as—“

“Penance,” Gabe finished for her, wincing.

“Yeah. Penance. Let him sort of let go of trying to make up for it by… killing ‘monsters’. But less like good penance and more like… oh, what was the word—“

“Self-flagellation,” Gabe grumbled, shoving his hands deeper in his pockets.

“Yeah. Thanks, choir boy,” Jess snarked half-heartedly. “Anyway, we didn’t go a lot. Just once a year, or every other year or so. I always— I always thought that Sam was so much stronger than I could ever be, y’know? I wondered what I would do in the same situation, and I don’t think I would have _ever_ visited. I would’ve changed my name. I would’ve— I dunno. I’m glad I don’t have to know.”

Gabe glanced back, but they were out of view of the house now. “Yeah. I don’t know, either.”

Jess shrugged. “He liked me, I think. He always seemed happy to see us. He’d talk about how he liked to play chess with other inmates, or about what food they had been serving that he really liked, or which of the other inmates had embarrassing tattoos. He was… normal, I guess.” She winced. “He needed mental help, I think. I think if someone had known what was happening back when they were kids, he could’ve—“ She let it drop. “He— he always asked about Dean.”

“Dean never went, did he,” Gabe asked quietly.

“We don’t know for sure, but we think not. And I don’t blame him.” She looked down at their feet. “John died a year ago today. In prison. He just— had a heart attack. Went in his sleep.”

Gabe closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. “Oh.”

“It was rough,” Jess continued. “We had to come down here to check on Dean, because we didn’t hear from him for _weeks.”_ She glanced at Gabe. “I was… really glad that Dean came over when Posie was born. Sam never said it but… I could see it in his eyes. That ‘Dad never got to meet his grandkid’ look.”

“So they’re just… mourning.”

“Kinda,” Jess said, sighing. “I’m not sure how much Dean ever mourned. When we got here, after John had died, he acted like nothing was wrong. It was eerie.”

“Dean? Repressing his emotions? Seems highly out of character.”

Jess actually laughed at that, and it was endearing. It was so, _so_ easy to see why Sam had fallen for her in the first place. “You got me there,” she said, smiling, bumping her shoulder against his. “It’s nice to see him not alone.”

Gabe gave her a brief smile. “It’s nice to not _be_ alone.”

“They’re a handful, but they’re wonderful people.” She looked fully at him, something deep in her eyes. “Can you… make sure Dean’s okay today? You don’t have to talk to him about it because Lord knows that boy won’t talk about _anything._ But. Just. Keep an eye on him?”

Gabe nodded gravely. “I always do.”

—

The rest of the day was much like the beginning: quiet and solemn. It wasn’t until long after Sam and Jess had fallen asleep that Gabe took Dean’s hand.

“Hey,” he whispered. “I wanna show you something.”

Dean made a very ‘I’d rather you not’ expression. “Some other time?”

“No. Today. C’mon. I went mushroom hunting with you, you do this with me.” Gabe paused. “I never got ice cream for that, by the way.”

“The ice cream was a lie,” Dean mumbled, letting himself be led out into the surprisingly cool night.

They walked down the street, stars shining bright overhead.

“We’re past curfew,” Dean grumbled, arms tight about himself.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “We’re just going to the end of the street. Promise.”

“What’s at the end of the street?”

Gabe shrugged teasingly, leading them further on. They stopped at the last house on the left, and Dean almost had a panic attack when Gabe jumped the fence.

 _“Gabriel!”_ Dean hissed as quietly as he could. “Missouri will _kill you_ if she sees you in her yard!”

Gabe rolled his eyes again and waved a hand. “I come here all the time and she doesn’t care. She even leaves me cookies sometimes. C’mon.”

Dean hesitated.

“I’ve been doing this for _years,_ Byron. Trust me.” He gave Dean a lopsided smile, and Dean sighed and jumped the fence, too.

He followed Gabriel carefully through rows of vegetables, until they got to a small orchard with a large oak tree in the middle.

Gabriel wasted no time in grabbing a low-hanging branch and hoisting himself up.

“Um,” Dean stammered, face white.

Gabe looked down at him. “What? Never climbed a tree before?”

“Yeah, and broke a few bones.”

Gabe leaned down and held out a hand. “I’ll keep you safe.” When Dean still didn’t take it, he smiled and said, “Promise.”

Dean’s hand slid slowly into his. “You’re promising me a lot tonight.”

“I’d promise you the world if I thought I could deliver it, Byron.” Gabe grabbed another branch and began climbing, always going slow enough that he could turn and grab Dean were something to go wrong.

Nothing went wrong, though. They got to the top, a thick, straight branch that they both sat on, staring out over the neighborhood, the horizon.

Dean craned his head back and looked at the stars, mapped out constellations. “The emptiness of space,” he murmured, not fully expecting a response.

“Empty?” Gabe repeated back, surprised. “Space isn’t empty. It’s full of everything else that exists.”

“Well sure, but it’s all lightyears away. And between it all is just… emptiness.” His eyes were somehow far away, his lips moving without really moving. “Emptiness that knows nothing of humans.”

“That’s not true. It knows a lot about you.”

Dean looked over to him, dark circles somehow darker. “What? Space?” he asked, voice tired.

“Yeah. Sometimes I tell the stars about you.” Gabe was still looking at the sky, like part of Dean’s wall hadn’t just crumbled.

Dean didn’t say anything, because there was nothing to say, and his eyes stung, and he looked back at the stars.

“I don’t believe in an afterlife,” Gabe told him conversationally, like this is what he had wanted to say all along, but also like he would be fine if he never said it, either. “At least, not in a spiritual sense. But when I die, y’know, I’m gonna be fertilizer for plants, and my molecules sort of… live on. I don’t. But bits of me do. I cannot be created or destroyed, not fully. Can you agree, o scientist?”

Dean nodded his head stiltedly.

“Right. So sometimes… sometimes I think, maybe bits of my mom and dad are somewhere out there in the cosmos. I mean, I know they are. And I know they’re not _them_ anymore, because they don’t _exist_ anymore, but… in a way, it’s still sort of them. And I like to tell them about you.” Gabe smiled at the stars. “I think they would’ve loved you.”

“I swear Gabe if you brought me here to—“

“I didn’t. I just wanted to show you the spot. Give you the option.” Gabe was looking out across the neighborhood now, at the few lights still on. “Jess told me everything, I think. She said you didn’t visit. So. If you want to. If it helps you. You can use my spot.”

“I don’t need to visit him,” Dean said darkly, rehearsed.

Gabe sighed. “That’s a lie, Dean. I can hear it in your voice.” He pulled gently on a stray leaf. “Not that you have to care, because you don’t have to. But you do care. Because you care about everyone.”

“Gabe…”

“I mean, I know he murdered people but so… so did I.” Gabe responded, finally looking over to him. “But that’s not really— I mean, he wasn’t always like that, was he?”

Dean’s fists were clenched. “No. He wasn’t. When I was little he was… a dad.”

“It’s a different kind of mourning, then, I think. Because you gotta mourn who they were, and then you gotta mourn who they almost were.” He wrapped his arms around his knees. “I cried for days after that tornado wiped everyone out. I couldn’t tell you why. Why it still hurts when bad people die. But I think maybe no one is all bad or all good, and we’re all stuck somewhere in the middle, and you’re sitting here pretending your dad was all evil because it’s easier, right? It’s easier to pretend he was all evil than acknowledge that there was a hint of good, because that makes it all… worse.”

Dean stared down at his hands, at their shaking, and said nothing.

“Just… I’m here. I get it. You can talk if you want, or you can be silent if you want, but whatever you choose… I’m here.”

“What do you tell your parents about me?” Dean asked softly.

Gabe looked to the stars. “I usually tell them you’re an asshole.”

Dean almost laughed at that, looking at the stars too. “He’s an asshole,” he informed the stars. And Gabe wasn’t sure if he was talking to John Winchester or Gabe’s parents, but he supposed there wasn’t a difference anymore, anyway.

“Well that’s a great first impression, thanks,” Gabe snarked.

Dean shook his head, smiling. “You would’ve hated each other.”

“Well yeah if you’re gonna start out by telling him I’m an _asshole.”_

Dean laughed, actually laughed, and by the time Gabe looked over there were tears streaming down his face instead, hands already reaching out.

Gabe gathered him up and held him tight, and just let him cry.

“Every week,” Dean managed.

“What?” Gabe asked quietly, hand coursing through his hair.

“I visited him every week,” he whispered back.

—

It was four in the morning when Gabe left bed again, Dean fast asleep beside him.

He threw on some clothes and silently closed the door, heading down the stairs. The sun hadn’t risen yet outside, but he had spent a lifetime with Castiel, and he knew he would be awake.

He didn’t have to go inside. Cas was outside with a flashlight, searching for— something.

“Hey,” Gabe called out softly, jumping the fence.

Cas jerked towards him, then relaxed as Gabe squinted at the bright light. “Hello. There was a rabbit out here yesterday, and I’m trying to locate it.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

Cas went back to shining the flashlight slowly across the ground. “You are up early. Or perhaps very late.”

“Both, I think.” Gabe’s hands were stuck deep in his pockets, and he was looking everywhere but Cas. “I… wanted to talk to you.”

“Mission accomplished, then,” Cas joked back, grinning.

“Castiel,” Gabe began, but was cut off by a wildly concerned look from Cas himself.

“Did you just call me Castiel? You never call me Castiel.”

Gabe wanted to sit down, but he pushed his hands further into his pockets and looked away. “What do you remember about that night?”

“That’s vague, and I’m beginning to worry.”

“I mean with the… the tornado. What do you remember?”

Cas paused and sighed a moment before turning off his flashlight. “Ah, so I suppose this is finally the night, then, isn’t it?” He meandered slowly over to Gabe, sitting down with his back to the fence. “I remember it all in vivid detail.”

Gabe sat beside him, unsure of what else to do. Thunder rolled, and Gabe didn’t remember rain on the forecast. “When— When you told me to warn everybody, I—“

“I know.”

“You… do?”

“Yes.” Cas looked up to the clouds slowly covering the night sky. “I know you like to imagine that you protected me, and I have willingly let you think that. And you did, I understand. But I protected you as well.” He pursed his lips. “As much as they thought me a devil, they also believed me incapable of lying. So when you were seen doing something _irreverent,_ all it took was a word from me and you were off the hook. Usually.”

Gabe was staring at him, bewildered.

“But sometimes they did get to you before I got to them. And that broke me inside. So when you left to ah, ‘warn them’… I followed.”

Gabe put his face in his hands. “Jesus, Cas,” he whispered.

“I was afraid for you. So, yes. I have known for a very long time. I figured you would tell me when you saw fit, and if that happened to be never, then that was okay.”

When Gabriel looked back up, he seemed… smaller, somehow. “Do you hate me?” he whispered.

Castiel wrapped an arm around Gabe, pulling him close. “Of course not. I have always and will always love you.” He gave him a smile. “You are the only love I understand.”

When the rain began to come down in heavy, lazy drops, neither moved.

It didn’t feel like hiding, or running, or all the other things rain usually felt like to Gabriel.

“Why tonight?” Cas asked over the soft sound of droplets hitting grass.

“I was just… thinking about dead people.”

Cas didn’t push it further, merely hummed in acknowledgement as they both got soaked to the bone.

Rain usually felt like diving into a valley, like holding Cas and shielding him from the winds raging around them, like getting pelted with hail and stones and twigs, like being stoned to death.

Cas kissed Gabe’s forehead and asked if he would like to dry off and have breakfast, and Gabe said yes.

It was as he stood up and let out a breath that cleared his mind that he pinpointed it.

The rain was cold and sloshing and peaceful, and, more than anything else, it felt like forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also I did it, I sang the dumb song gabe wrote for dean, there's no music so just take it as it is  
> [so here's on my mind](https://soundcloud.com/crack-attack-122107459/on-my-mind?ref=clipboard)


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [slam-dunks this into your fic-hoop] enjoy, read the author's note at the end, etc etc etc

“This is really fucking dumb.”

“The Master Class says we have to do it. So. Just do it.”

Gabriel sighed melodramatically. “Juliet,” he deadpanned, “you are the east, and the sun is the west.”

“What? That’s not how it— Come on.” Dean held out his hands. “Take this seriously.”

“I just don’t see why we gotta do fucking _Shakespeare!”_

“We’re learning acting! We gotta start where everyone else starts!”

“I call bullshit,” Gabe fumed, poking at Dean’s chest. “Why can’t we do something more light-hearted, like Death of a Salesman?”

Sam snorted and coughed a few times, the gulp of water he had just taken falling out of his mouth. “Um, sorry.”

“Later. We start here.” Dean cleared his throat. “Romeo—“

“Shakespeare just fucking _sucks!”_ Gabe yelled out, unable to stay silent.

Dean rubbed at his temples, ignoring Jess’s giggles. “You didn’t even— you didn’t even go to school, so your deep-rooted hatred of Shakespeare seems unfounded.”

“That motherfucker stole plays from minorities and passed them off as his own!”

“There’s no proof of that!”

Jess piped in, “I didn’t even know they had proof he had ever existed at all?”

Gabe spun around and pointed at her. “You shut up, flat-earther.”

“I’m not a flat-earther!”

“Then stop buying into crazy conspiracies! Of course he existed! This isn’t like a— a _Homer_ situation.”

“Homer _absolutely_ existed,” Sam countered, highly amused.

Gabe shook his head. _“Whatever._ I will _play_ actor with you, o husband of mine, but I _refuse_ to do Shakespeare.”

Dean held out his arms and let them fall to his sides. “What do you want to do, then?”

“I say we both pick a monologue we like and just go with it.”

Sam groaned. “You’re gonna regret that.”

Dean waved him off. “Let me go get a prop, then.”

“You’re _really_ gonna regret that.”

Gabe watched him trot away before turning to Sam. “Why? What’s he gonna do?”

“He only knows one monologue.”

From the top of the stairs, there came a determined, powerful, “Aye!” Dean stood there, sword raised, eyes hard and focused. “Fight and you may die!”

Gabe groaned. “Oh my god.”

“Run, and you’ll live — at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance — just one chance — to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives—“ He raised his sword higher, eyes glinting, “but they’ll never take our freedom!”

Gabe laughed and wolf-whistled. “Well done! Mel Gibson would’ve been proud.”

Sam just rolled his eyes. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that.”

Dean grinned, then rested the sword on his shoulders lightly. “What can I say? I love Braveheart.”

Gabriel motioned to the sword. “Where did you even _get_ that thing?”

“Get it?” Dean raised one eyebrow. “Bitch I _made_ this.”

“I’m sorry what.”

Dean shrugged, sword bouncing. “Blacksmithing is like, physical chemistry. There was a while I worked as a lab tech with this dude who was also a blacksmith, and he trained me to make this.”

“You. Made a sword. Over the course of a single job.”

“Okay no you’ve got the wrong idea. I did this all throughout my bachelor’s and master’s. It took a solid… I mean, at _least_ five years of just training.” He motioned to the sword. “This thing is far from perfect. But I wasn’t intending on chopping anyone down with it, so it’s fine.”

Gabe made a noise of approval. “Maybe you could do some blacksmithing for our next episode.”

They both realized at the same time. “We forgot the show.”

Sam laughed loudly as Jess put her head in her hands. “Oh my gosh you two,” she grumbled. “We thought you let it drop on purpose.”

Dean, for his part, looked genuinely offended. “I would _never!_ Where else is Posie supposed to learn _real_ science?”

“Or how her uncles got together,” Sam added nonchalantly.

“Ignoring you.” Dean sighed and leaned on the sword. “We gotta put a video out today. It’s been too long.”

Gabe shrugged. “How about a Q&A? People have been asking for a while.”

Dean half-winced. “Only if we field the questions.”

Sam piped up, “I can field them. Make sure they’re all just about the show or your relationship or whatever.” Gabe and Dean both looked at him, wide-eyed, and he raised an eyebrow back at them. “What?”

“Just—“ Dean looked down to Gabriel, who looked back up to him. “Are we… gonna tell the whole world?”

Gabe bit his bottom lip, then laughed, soft and genuine. “I have a vague memory of running around the streets high and saying I’d tell the whole world that I wanted to kiss you. I guess I gotta prove it now.”

Dean hid his smile with a gruff clearing of his throat. “Right, right. Or. And hear me out here. We keep pretending to hate each other.”

Gabe’s grin was contagious. “I think that is a _wonderful_ idea.”

“That’s just because you don’t have enough brain cells to rub together.”

“Yeah, sure. You couldn’t count to ten if I tied your hands behind your back.”

Dean bit back a laugh. “Start the video then, coward. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“I’m not the coward here. Where’s your equipment?”

Dean smirked and motioned to his pants. “Here.”

Sam threw a pillow first at Dean, then another at Gabriel. “I take it back. I want nothing to do with either of you.”

“You love us.”

“Maybe.”

—

Gabe grinned at the camera. “Are we live?”

“You’re live,” Sam confirmed.

Gabe waved broadly while Dean just nodded. “Hey all you cool cats and kittens!” Gabe crooned, deftly avoiding Dean trying to smack his arm. “Welcome to the first EMCQ&A!”

Dean stared at him. “The what now.”

“The EMCQ, Q&A.”

“Why are we shortening it like that.”

“The whole internet is.”

“The whole internet. Just. The whole thing.”

“Yes trust me I know these things,” Gabe rushed out, brushing him off. “We’re here to answer all your burning questions! Like shoe size!”

Dean pointed to Sam behind the camera. “We’re not answering that one.”

Sam nodded in amusement.

“How many people are even watching this?” Dean asked.

Jess looked at the computer. “Couple million and climbing.”

Dean choked on air as Gabe’s eyes widened. “A couple _million?!”_

Gabe turned to Dean. “Did… Did we miss a Play Button?”

Dean was pale. “Uh. What uh. What’s the first question?”

Sam low-whistled, leaning over to look at the computer with Jess. “Well, there’s a lot. Ummm, here’s one. Where did you get the new theme song?”

Gabe perked up. “Our friend Donna wrote it for us! Well, Donna and Jody. We met them because Dean almost got arrested. Again.”

Dean poked his chest. _“Not_ true. I mean, the friend thing is. But I _didn’t_ almost get arrested.”

“Sure, sure. Next question.”

Jess propped her chin on her hand. “Next question is: omg you’re in the same room.”

Dean made a vague gesture. “Not a question. Um, confirmed?”

Sam said, “How about: wait are you two a _thing?”_

“No,” Gabe and Dean said in tandem.

Jess was grinning wide. “Next question: If you two were stranded on a deserted island, how long would it be until you killed each other?”

Gabe shrugged. “I would’ve killed him on the boat ride there.”

“I would’ve killed him first. Next question.”

Gabe held up a hand. “No wait. I would _absolutely_ have killed you first. Snuck up while you were enjoying a pie.”

Dean frowned. “Yeah, alright. That would’ve worked.”

Sam shook his head. “Do you prefer debriel or deabriel or gabrean?”

Gabe snorted as Dean raised an eyebrow. “For what? Baby names? None.”

“They mean for our ship name, babe.”

“Oh. Um, Dumbasses works fine.”

Jess was looking at the scrolling screen in amusement. “All of the next questions are: Did you just call him babe?!”

Gabe rolled his eyes dramatically. “I call _everyone_ babe, babe. Don’t take it personal.”

Sam tapped a key. “Does Dean have any tattoos?”

“He’s got one on his ass.”

Sam laughed as Dean glared at Gabe. “Do you really?” Sam asked.

“Shut the up-fuck,” Dean gritted out.

Jess grinned at the screen. “All the questions now are either wondering what it is or how you know.”

Dean threw his hands up. “Does _anyone_ have questions about science?!”

“I mean, this one wants to know approximately how much friction there is when you two—“

“Okay, alright.” Dean pushed his chair back. “This was a bad idea.”

Gabe grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. “Well it _was_ your idea, so it was destined to be bad.”

Dean looked taken aback. “What? It was _your_ idea!”

“I would _never_ have such a bad idea. I’m a genius.”

“We’ve been _over_ this! You don’t have enough brain cells to make a diagram of one!”

“Why the _hell_ would I need to make a diagram of a brain cell? Would that turn you on?”

“What? You asking if you having any _semblance_ of intelligence would turn me on? Y’know what, sure.”

“Alright cool, all I need is some wire and a battery.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “For?”

“A circuit. So I can turn you on.”

Dean stared a moment before hanging his head and groaning. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.”

He smirked. “Maybe.”

Jess didn’t say anything as the chat absolutely _exploded._

Sam was hitting button after button. “Alright, fixed it.”

“Fixed what?”

“I kicked most of the people asking fucked up things.” He glanced at the screen. “They just wanna know what your favorite colors are now.”

Dean pointed to Gabe and said, “Macaroni,” while Gabe pointed to Dean and said, “Silver.”

Jess grinned. “What is this, the Newlywed Game? Oh, the chat is running with it.”

Sam rested his chin on her shoulder, reading. “What would _Gabe_ say is his best quality?”

“His wiggles,” Dean deadpanned, while Gabe nodded sagely.

“Dean’s best quality is his perky nipples.”

“You’re not wrong.”

Jess asked, “At what point did the other decide they were your enemy?”

Dean clicked his tongue. “When did Gabe decide he hated me? Probably when I tried to introduce him to good music.”

Gabe snorted. “Okay, but _you_ have hated me since you first saw me for some reason.”

“And as time goes on, I find more and more that I was right,” Dean snarked, batting his eyelashes sarcastically.

Sam scrolled down. “What is the most endearing thing about the other?”

“En- _dear-_ ing?” Gabe asked. “But Dean’s scared of deer.”

“I’m scared of what deer can _do.”_

“What? Frolic?”

Dean waved him off. “Most endearing thing about Gabe is his genuine smiles. He’s got a bunch of variants, but the real ones without any mischief in them are — addictive.”

One of those smiles threatened to creep onto Gabe’s face, but he hid it with a smirk. “Most endearing thing about Dean is the way he dances when he thinks no one is watching.”

Sam was smiling and shaking his head. “Alright alright, no more cavities. Um, this one’s for Gabe.”

Gabe made a go-ahead motion.

“When will you be back on Small Talk?” Sam made a thinking noise. “I was kinda wondering that myself. But you have totally earned a vacation.”

Dean blinked in surprise. “Wait, you haven’t been on your podcast?”

Jess gave Dean a Look. “Winchester do _not_ tell me you don’t listen to his podcast.”

He held his hands up defensively. “I do! There are just so many episodes and I wanted to listen in order!”

She narrowed her eyes but accepted it. “Yeah, been someone new the past couple episodes. She’s… fine, I guess. Not near as underhandedly snarky.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, that’s true. Gabe, you do good at that, making jokes that the interviewees don’t even _realize_ are jokes. It’s hilarious.”

Gabe laughed. “Hey, thanks.”

“So when you going back?”

“Hm? Oh, no. I got fired.”

Everyone was quiet, until Dean said, “…what?”

“Got fired. Not a big deal.”

“When did this happen?”

“About two weeks ago.”

“And I’m just now hearing about this because…?”

“Because it’s not a big deal.” Gabe turned back to the camera. “Next question.”

“Not next question.” Dean held up one finger to the camera. “What happened?”

Gabe shrugged. “Breached my contract. It happens. Next question.”

 _“Not next question._ Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because we’re mortal enemies,” Gabe deadpanned. “C’mon, I’m sure at least _one_ person wants to know if I have any tattoos.”

“Gabriel Shurley—“

“Be like Elsa and _let it go,_ alright Winchester?”

Dean’s jaw was set. “Fine.”

“Fine.” Gabe tapped his fingers against the table. “Next question.”

—

Turns out it was very possible to cook bacon angrily.

Dean was making supper, movements stiff and eyes hard. Gabriel was baking dessert, much the same.

Without warning, Dean threw his spatula down. “I just don’t get why you wouldn’t _tell_ me—“

“Jesus _fuck_ are you still on about this?!”

“This is the kind of thing boyfriends tell each other!”

Gabe threw his arms up. “Fine! Next time it happens, I’ll let you know!”

“I want to know _why_ it happened!”

“Why does it even fucking matter?! I’m fired! End of story!”

“Was it—“ Dean scowled at himself and began flipping bacon. “Just. Whatever. Don’t tell me. See if I fucking care.”

“Was it _what?”_ Gabe asked darkly.

“Was it—“ Dean scrubbed his hand over his face. “Was it because you’re… out?”

Gabe stared at him. “They didn’t fire me because I’m fucking _pan,_ Winchester.”

Dean puffed air into his cheeks and let it out. “Rosie.”

“…Byron.”

“What _happened?”_

Gabriel groaned loudly and slammed the bag of sugar down. “They wanted me to interview someone and I said no! They said it was breach of contract and I said I didn’t care! They fired me! That’s it!”

“Who was it?”

Gabe sighed. “Dean. Don’t.”

“Who. Was. It.”

Gabe didn’t say anything, just stared at the sugar, and Dean cursed quietly, because he knew.

“Gabe—“

“Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Well tough.” He crossed his arms, staring at the back of Gabe’s head, muscles still tense but anger gone. “You… could’ve asked, you know. It’s… It’s not like I haven’t… given my testimony before.”

“You and Sam both.” Gabe cleared his throat and poured sugar into a measuring cup. “And no. I couldn’t have asked. It… wouldn’t have been right.”

“I would’ve—“

“That’s why I couldn’t.” He shrugged. “Any company willing to use people like that isn’t a company I want to work for.”

There was just the sound of sizzling bacon, and then Dean’s arms were gently around him. “You did all that for me?” he whispered.

Gabe snorted. “What makes you think I did it for you?” He leaned back into the embrace, anyway. “I’d do it a thousand times over.”

“I warned you my name was a curse.”

“Yeah.” He shook his head angrily. “I— I fucking hate that people hear you and think of him. You deserve better. Better than that, better than me. But I do the best I can.”

“I love you,” Dean told his hair, his cheek, his neck. “And I think I finally know how to make you beg.”

Gabe turned to raise an eyebrow at him. “Zero to one hundred. Alright. I love you, too.”

Dean smiled against his neck. “Sorry I got pissed.”

“Eh. Same.”

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ve got plenty of savings until filming starts.” Gabe clicked his tongue. “Plus our merch store is booming so there’s that.”

“Should I ask?”

“Probably not.”

Dean was chuckling against his skin, and Gabe looked at him, amused.

“What’s so funny, Byron?”

“Just— I could always simp for you.”

Gabe actually laughed at that, leaning forward to press his head against the countertop. “What the _fuck_ babe?!” he managed between giggles. “Who taught you that?!”

Dean shrugged, eyes glinting mischievously. “Charlie.”

“Remind me to have a talk with her.” Gabe leaned back against the counter, elbows in the powdered sugar. “You’re something else, Byron.”

“Hey Rosie?”

“Hm?”

Dean gestured to Gabe’s powdered elbow. “Did you uh, want me to pour some sugar on you?”

Gabe smirked, then threw a handful of powdered sugar in his face, running away in victory.

“Oh, oh it is _on!”_

—

Jess glanced to the kitchen. “Well, they’re not yelling anymore."

“I wonder if that means supper’s ready.” Sam bounced Posie absently before handing her off to Jess. “I’m gonna go check.”

“Knock first.”

Sam made a traumatized face. “Always.”

Jess watched him go, and almost ten minutes had passed before she finally huffed and followed him into the kitchen.

Someone yelled, “FUCK” just as raw bacon hit her in the face.

Everyone froze, Sam with his hand out, face horrified.

She took a deep breath, turned around, and left the kitchen.

Dean smacked Sam in the arm. “Way to go, man.”

Gabe mock-winced. “At least our couch is pretty comfy. Since you’ll be sleeping on it and all.”

Sam threw another piece of raw bacon at him. “I don’t like being outnumbered.”

The door opened again and Jess stepped in, sans Posie, and rolled up her sleeves. “Alright,” she said, smirking. “First order of business: who threw the bacon?”

Sam pointed to Gabe as both Gabe and Dean pointed to Sam.

He groaned. “Oh c’mon.”

She shook her head. “Sorry babe. All’s fair in love and food fights.” She made a grabby hand at Dean. “Ammo me.”

He tossed her a baked potato and she set her sights on Sam.

Sam held up his hands desperately. “Babe, c’mon babe, don’t all these years mean _anything_ to you?”

“Of course,” she said sweetly as she hit him in the stomach with a baked potato.

It was like the tension was broken, and food was flying _everywhere_ amidst laughs and curses and running.

Dean ducked behind cover at the same time as Gabriel, both grinning and breathless.

“I’m glad you play your music too loud,” Gabe told him, egg yolk dripping down his shirt and an M&M stuck in his hair.

Dean grabbed his face and kissed him hard, smile to smile. “I love you,” he said a bit too loudly, judging by the rain of food around them. “Which is why I’m sorry.”

Before Gabe could process, Dean shoved him out from behind cover and took off the other direction. Gabe covered his face as he was pelted with eggs, laughing. “OH, YOU ASS!”

“TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE!” Dean yelled back, grinning as he dove for cover again, Gabe quickly behind him.

Gabe grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him in close, stifling his laughter. “You and me. Teammates. Forever.”

“Forever huh?” Dean asked, smiling. “What do I get out of it?”

“This sweet ass, obviously.”

“Mmm, that is true. Deal.” Dean peeked out from behind cover for just a moment. "Shit, Cas and Charlie are out there now, too."

"We're outnumbered."

Dean grabbed a nearby carrot and handed it to Gabe. "Blaze of glory?"

Gabe's eyes were sparkling. "Blaze of glory," he confirmed. "On three?"

“On three.”

“One.”

“Two.”

 _“Three!”_ They both ran out into the onslaught, yelling, together.

They were smiling. They were laughing.

And there was no such thing as lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FIC OMG I LOVE YOU  
> This is not the end! It's the end of Part One.  
> I decided that this ending occurred naturally, and works as a full ending, if you want, but that there was still more in this verse I wanted to write. Like Dr. Sexy and awards shows and maybe a proposal and them finding out about the Facebook page and just so much stuff! But that's an entire separate plot arc, and therefore:
> 
> Welcome to my first series (I guess!).
> 
> It'll be a while before the next part starts posting bc hoo boy I gotta catch up on some real life stuff, but I'm very excited to continue this and I hope to see you all there!
> 
> Also you're all amazing and I love you so much like, over 2K hits on a _rarepair?!_ Y'all are incredible.


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